Chapter Nine
I woke up to my alarm going off at 5 am.
I sat up and looked around, I’m in my room, my wig is off, and I’m in my sweats and Damon’s sweatshirt from yesterday. I shut it off and was confused for a minute; the last thing I remember was falling asleep in his car.
I felt a lot better after sleeping so long but I still felt terrible, my stomach growled in hunger and it was enough to have me dashing to the bathroom to throw up the nothing in my system.
When I’m done I groan and rest my head against the wall for a little bit till I’m sure I’m not going to throw up again. And I brush my teeth and jump in to take a long shower.
I dry my hair and throw on some dark washed skinny jeans, a tight red tank top, my flannel to match, and my red vans. I put on my makeup and wig and look in the mirror.
I pretty much looked like I was close to death yesterday; I used the make-up to cover the dark circles under my eyes and my pale and flushed skin so I looked like a normal human, though looks are deceiving because I still felt like death.
The clock said I had a half hour before school started so I headed down stairs.
“Mom” I say when I get down stairs
“Yes honey” she calls from the kitchen
“What happened yesterday?” I asked and she smiled
“Damon drove you home and you fell asleep and that boy brought you in and tucked you into bed. I went in after he left and pulled off your wig, you slept all day and night. Are you feeling any better?” she asked concerned and I smiled
“Way better! I don’t feel like I’m about to drop at any second” I smiled and half lied, any minute maybe but not any second.
“That’s good, probably the 24 hour flu” I hoped, last time I had the flu It was worse than this, I hated remembering that dreadful time.
I ate some breakfast and headed to school.
School was so much better today, except for the face that Damon and I were back to acting like normal, like he didn’t take care of me all day yesterday, I figured as much, so it didn’t come to a surprise.
The rest of the day went normal, I spent all day working on stuff for the library, ate dinner with the family, went upstairs and finished my homework from the last two days, and right before I was about to crawl into bed I threw up again.
I groaned. I just can’t wait till all of this passes.
The next two days were the same. I woke up and either got sick of felt sick. I went and ate breakfast with my mother before heading to school. Damon ignored me like his usual. I had friends covering my shifts to volunteer, and then I ate dinner to throw it up later or feel nauseous the rest of the night.
I guess I should start listening when my parents say steak or Chinese would be too hard on my stomach and stick to the soup I kept refusing.
The only difference Friday was Alexis deciding to piss off an already pissed off Damon and whey were about one sentence from killing each other, though I didn’t know why.
“Guys, can you not?” I asked them and their eyes shot to me
“Tell her to stop being a nosy bitch.”
“Tell him so stop being an annoying asshole.” She shot back
“Oh I’m the annoying one? I was minding my own business.” He threw his hands in the air in frustration and she smirked
“Not exactly, you were being snappy.”
“Jesus, do you have a thing for me?” he asked her and she scoffed
“Whores aren’t my thing.” She shot at him and I stepped between them and pushed them both back a couple steps.
“It’s not like we’re friends, my sex life is none of your damn concern.” He was seething and looked like he was planning on how to murder her
“Then stop being a dick because you aren’t getting any.”
“Alexis, that’s enough.” I snapped at her, she didn’t know what privacy and personal space were half the time and I was always telling her to stay out of other people’s business “He’s right, his personal life is his business, leave him alone.” I had no doubt she started this, she loved to push people’s buttons.
“Thanks.” He mumbled and I pulled her to another spot across the room and sat her down.
“You were still the last person he’s slept with, even Lindsay hasn’t gotten at him.” she said and I groaned
“It doesn’t matter Alexis, what’s done is done and I’m still upset with myself about it and you bring it up and getting in his business secretly about it doesn’t help.” I snapped at her, she needed to let it go, I was trying to.
“I’m sorry, I’ll back up.” She put her hand on my arm and then held out her pinkie for me, pinkie promises were law to us, our friendship depended on them. I crossed mine with hers and let it drop.
On my free period I was sitting there and I felt the need to throw up again, what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe it’s just my period coming; sometimes I feel sick right before, telling me I’m going to have horrible craps.
When was my last period? I thought to myself, I ended on the, shit I needed a calander.
And then I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It’s September 28.
I start my period around the 20th of every month. I didn’t have it last month. I thought it was just the stress. When was that party, the 11th? I was hyperventilating. I was freaking out and not breathing.
I ran out of the library and went to the art room where Alexis usually spends her free period.
I burst through the room and everyone looked to the door where I caused the noise and she shot up from her seat and came over to me.
“Arianna, what’s wrong?” I didn’t answer her, I couldn’t
“What?” she asked and I pulled her from the classroom
“Did Damon do something to you?” she asked accusingly I shook my head
“I didn’t do shit to her, why would you think that” I froze and looked at him before running into the bathroom and throwing up, this time because I was stressed to the max.
Alexis came in and held my hair again.
“Tell me what’s wrong, why are you crying?” and that’s when I noticed I was indeed crying. I stood up and washed my mouth out and saw Damon standing there.
“This is for females only, get out.” Alexis said
“Why the hell was my name brought up in conversation?” he asked
“I don’t know okay and I don’t owe you an explanation I just don’t feel good” I spoke for the first time.
“Sorry.” He said and his look softened when he looked at me, Alexis really just irked him.
“Take me to the library?” I asked her and she nodded and I waited for her to grab her stuff and walk me back over there, this time we were alone.
“Yeah, you can curl up on the couch and sleep it off a little” she said as we walked and I just shook my head
We went to the library and sat down and I burst into another fit of tears “Oh my god, what’s wrong?” she asked and I felt them running down my face
“I’m not sick, Alexis.” I told her and her face twisted in confusion
“Okay.” She drew out the word not getting it.
“I’ve been throwing up all week, sometimes two or three times” I told her
“You should to go a doctor, you probably have the flu” she felt my forehead and I shook my head
“I’ve now skipped two periods” I whispered.
“You what?” her eyes got wide and I started crying again “Oh babe” she wrapped her arms around me “How about you come over after school, I’ll go buy you a test, okay?” she asked and I nodded.
She just hugged me and let me cry. I finally calmed down around lunch times and by the time I was ready for economics, my face didn’t look too bad Alexis touched up my makeup and walked me to class “How can I see him in there” I whispered to her, it was one thing that I knew what happened and he didn’t but this was a whole new level of bad.
“Just ignore him like you’ve been doing” she gave me a sad smile. “I’ll meet you after school” she said and gave me one last hug before rushing to her class.
“You okay?” Damon asked as soon as I sat down. Why the hell would he care?
“Like you care, leave me the fuck alone” I snapped at him and then I felt bad, it’s not like he knew or I could blame just him. I guess if I’m pregnant, it explains why I’ve been so moody.
“I do care” he whispered
“Didn’t I just tell you to leave me the fuck alone” I snapped at him again and cringed, “Sorry.” I said and I ignored him the rest of class, I felt really bad but I was freaking out. I was yelling at him, but the whole time I just wanted to cry.
What am I going to do?
I have nothing against abortion as a choice in general, but it’s not a decision I could ever make for myself. So that would be out. Leaving me to go through with it, and either do adoption or keep it.
I would either way have to answer questions and I knew what people thought of me. They thought i was the perfect student with the perfect life, that I didn’t make mistakes and I never lost my temper. I was nice to everyone and all that.
Some of it was true but I don’t think it’s a bad thing to try to be a good person. I would have to fess up to what happened and I’m not ready for that.
Would I keep it or give it up for adoption?
But could I just give up my baby, and not only that, but not give him a choice in the matter? But could I keep it, and not tell him? But I can’t tell him! How the hell could I tell him?
I put my head in my hands and when the bell rang I shoved my stuff in my bag and jumped out of the chair rushing out the door to photography “Arianna” I heard Damon call behind me, but I ignored him and kept walking.
After class I met Alexis at her car and she told me to head over to her house and she would be there soon. Twenty minutes later, Alexis comes in her room with her backpack. She locks her door and hands me the box.
I just stare at it, not believing that I have to take this. It was one night; I shouldn’t have even gone to that party! One night, it was granted not one time, but it was a mistake, one that I should just be able to forget!
“You should have seen the looks I got from this old lady at the store” she laughed and I just started at her
“What?” I asked her, I was kind of distracted.
“This old lady was glaring at me, and I looked at her and was like ‘my girlfriend and I finally get to have a baby, my ex finally got my pregnant.’ and you should have seen her face Ari, it was great!” I laughed with her.
“I wish I could have seen it” I chuckled; she was quite the dramatic one, opposite to me.
“Me too, now go on babe, you need to know, how far would you be?” she asked me and I counted the weeks in my head
“Seven weeks” I finally said.
“It should show up the, we’re seventeen, it’s normal to skip one if you’re stressed, we’re not even regular.” She said and I had that glimmer of hope that she was right.
I walked into the bathroom, and took both of them before setting them down and going back to wait
“Five minutes” I said and she set an alarm, and we sat there in silence.
The alarm went off and she shut it off and we looked at each other and she nodded. I took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom.
I knew the answer before I even picked it up.
I put one back in the box and walked out to the bedroom
“What does it say?” she asked and I handed it to her. She looked at it and looked back at me.
“Positive” we both said at the same time.