As the time of the show arrived, Rafaela approached the side of the stage to have a full view of the whole gig. The time was arriving, and she could see how the crowd was a little disquieted already, eyes on the stage. The lights dimmed and the first notes of Ecstasy of Gold blasted on the speakers. A sea of hands appeared, voices were heard in ecstasy and the sound of hands clapping was also heard. A choir of loud voices singing along the melody. That moment, and seeing about 40.000 hands up in the air, it hit her how far James had reached. The stadium was packed, they had sold out every gig. As long as she was proud of him and she was, for all that he had accomplished for himself, by himself, and after some time for her and Liam, she couldn't but think if that success was going to tear them apart somehow. Rafaela shook her head, no... nothing would tear them apart, they were more united than ever.
Next, the band hit the stage and the lights went up as they did so. The crowd cheered loud and began to jump in joy. Their heroes and idols were right there, in front of their eyes. Rafaela leaned against one of the iron pillars and crossed her arms around her chest, watching James incarnate another character. Her lips opened a smile as she acknowledged so, but she loved him that way. That was, exactly, the man that she fell in love with. The one that was crazy and savage on stage, and then a lovely and careful boyfriend and a wonderful father. He could be different like that and she loved every bit of him.
They kicked off with Creeping Death, and though she didn't like Metal, she liked Metallica and she sang long, unable to be quiet. They were energetic, contagious, there was no way she could be quiet while watching them. There were a lot of beers in front of Lars' drums, they used to go there and grab one in between songs. James didn't, but she was worried, she knew it must have been hard for him, still he was amazing that night. Even the way he held the guitar, so confident, so possessed by his own music, it was amazing to watch him. He owned that crowd. He owned every single person in that immense audience. She cheered them as much as any member of the crowd, and James now and then acknowledged her doing so, smiling at the corner she was in. He loved the fact that she supported him like that. He could be noticed in his eyes the joy he was feeling from having her there watching him doing his thing.
The Snakepit, that was another thing... even if cute as a stage, she didn't like it not even one bit. James had warned her about it. In fact, the Snakepit had been his idea, as he missed being close to the crowd, and there they were close enough. So close that she saw hands flying up their legs whenever one of the band members went there. Whenever James went there, she cursed him for coming up with such idea, hands flew up his legs and her stomach churned and her heart missed a beat, that was too much, so she decided to close her eyes sometimes when he went there, so she couldn't see it, but she also couldn't ignore the fact that whenever he felt a hand on him, he'd step back. The jealousy.... that she couldn't avoid. He was hers...
As the goodbyes were said and the band left the stage, James grabbed her hand and kissed her lips.
"Loved to see you all pumped up." He told her.
"It couldn't be any different. It's my boyfriend and friends up there." She said.
They walked hand in hand down the hallway until the dressing room. There James kicked his boots off and took his shirt off too, unbuttoning his jeans right after. Rafaela threw him a towel and he cleaned his face on it.
"I need a shower." He told her feeling his skin so sticky from all the perspiration during the show.
"I'll wait." She reassured, then she grabbed his bag and threw it at him, so he could take his clean clothes off of it.
"Don't you want to come with me?" He suggested. "We can talk while I shower."
"Ok." Rafaela agreed.
Again, hand in hand, they walked to the bathroom and then closed the door. There were other showers and James peeked to see if none of the other guys were there. Everything was clean, James thought they were busy with some girls already and that's why the showers were still empty, he locked the door, and then began to take his jeans off.
"Was it hard to see all those beers?" She asked him.
"Extremely." He admitted.
James entered the shower and she grabbed his clothes off the floor, as if they were at home. He was so disorganized, even after all the years they had been living together.
"If you feel like talking to Tony, you know you can call him." She said, beginning then to take her clothes off. Though he had the curtains closed, she could see his butt through it, and she decided to surprise him.
"I am not desperate." He said running the soap over his chest. "It's just hard, I feel like having one you know, but then I know that will never be one, so I have to control it. It's very hard Rafi."
She imagined how hard it was being for him, but she admired him for how strong he had been to admit his addiction and then the effort he was making to remain sober. Naked, she entered the shower and held him from behind, placing a kiss on the back of his shoulder.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, but she could feel he was smiling.
Rafaela walked around him and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his lips softly. "Maybe we can have a little fun. I think I got horny from seeing you on stage." James giggled and bit his lower lip.
"Oh... this is gonna be a great tour." He laughed predicting she'd feel that way in every show.
She pecked his lips one more time and he couldn't but smile against them, feeling all pumped up with her arousal. He liked that, he liked the way she played, her foreplay games turned him on. He pulled her closer and kissed her more passionately, more demanding. As his tongue demanded entrance, her lips parted permitting its way inside her mouth. His fingers played with her hard nipples while they kissed, then he parted from her and kissed her neck, down to her breasts, and kissed each one of them intensively.
Then it was her turn. Rafaela ran her hands over his wet chest and placed kisses on it, going down... kissed his navel... and then finally, fell on her knees. His whole body shuddered knowingly and even more when she grabbed him in her hand, stroking him gently. James leaned a hand against the wall in front of him and looked down at her, she shot him the sauciest smile he had seen of her until that moment. He loved her so much, he thought that moment.
Winking, she licked the head and he closed his eyes, but then he opened them again, wanting to see her doing it. His other hand grabbed her hair up, so her face wasn't covered, and she began to suck him on that manner that drove him insane, swallowing him the best she could and then flickering the tongue around the head, repeating the process over and over again. "Oh Lord..." He tilted his head up unable to control his moans anymore, his eyes rolled on the back of his head. The pleasure running over his body that moment was insane. He thought she was just giving him the appetizer, but he then realized she was actually making him come, not expecting anything else. He relaxed, he let himself go and when she swallowed him down her throat one more time, his whole body shook and he groaned, spilling his seed inside her mouth.
"Oh God..." He panted incredibly. "I love you so much." He said and that made her laugh, for the timing.
"Of course, you do." She was already rising her mouth.
"I really mean it." He laughed as well.
"You owe me mister." She pointed her index finger at him. "So, you better come with a whole lot of a show when we get back to the hotel."
James began to rinse himself and then closed the water, she was already drying her body with a towel. "That's my towel."
"Well, there was only this one, you don't want me to go back inside my clothes soaked wet right?"
"Usually there's a party after the show in some club. Do you want to go?" James asked her. Done, Rafaela threw him the towel and grabbed her clothes.
"I feel a little tired." She told him. "Maybe I do prefer to go back to the hotel."
"But are you alright?" He asked a little concerned.
"I am alright, I just feel tired that's all. If you want to go, we can go but not to stay long."
James looked at her when grabbing his clothes and then placed a kiss on her forehead. "No, we go to the hotel." He said, knowing she was only offering herself to go because of him.
"James... really... if you want to go, like really go... I can go too." She looked in his eyes to made him sure she meant it, but he shook his head.
"I am tired too, honestly. I'd rather go there and cuddle in bed with you, just relax. Maybe a movie?"
"That sounds like a plan." She clapped.
Despite all the requests for their company in the party, James and Rafaela left in the van toward the hotel. As the night went on, the more she felt tired, exhausted even. It had been a long time since she had felt that way.
"I feel drained." She complained throwing herself back on the seat as the van drove through the streets of Cleveland.
"I told you this wasn't easy, and it was just the first day."
"What time do we leave tomorrow?" She asked him a little preoccupied she'd have to get up soon in the morning.
"After lunch." He said and she smiled relieved.
"Where are we going now?"
"Chicago."
Soon the van parked in front of the hotel and they went up to their suite. In there, they went straight to the bedroom and got rid of their clothes. James slid into a shirt and she into her black silk pajama. Done with all the nightly hygiene, they snuggled in bed. James searched for a movie on TV and she rested her head against his chest.
"I think I'm gonna call Hawk tomorrow." James told her violating the silence between them.
"Do you think it's a good thing to call him? I mean... he hasn't called, it means they are having nothing new to tell us."
"I can't just be like this Rafi! If they asked for his clothes it's because they are looking for something, it's because they know something... I don't know... but I caught myself between songs thinking about it. I need to know." He pointed the remote at the TV again and she grabbed it in her hand to stop him, then she sat to be able to look at him.
"You have to calm down and let them do their job. I think they're doing a good job and that detective seems to be interested. I trust him, and you should calm down babe." With that she bent over him and kissed his lips. His strong Rafaela was definitely back, and he loved it. James smiled against her lips and stroke her face with his palm. He loved that woman so much he couldn't even put it into words.
"You're right. I am so anxious and at the same time so scared. It's horrible to know, or almost be sure that someone hurt our kid..."
"I know... I feel that way too, but I try not to think about it much now."
"We need to buy our rings." He said, changing the subject suddenly.
"Are you sure we can get married in New York?" She asked him.
"Yes. People think that only Vegas has the chapels but no... any priest will marry us if we go there and ask. We need the rings baby..." He said again.
"Do you have free time tomorrow when we get to Chicago?" She asked and James nodded. "Then we can look for it in there..."
James bent over her and kissed her lips again and then rested his forehead against hers, his lips opening in a wonderful sweet smile that made her heart melt.
"I can't believe you're gonna be my wife. My wife..." He repeated the words to sink them in. "It sounds so good..." He whispered then looking in her green glare.
"It's sounds amazingly good." She said. "Now let's watch that movie because I am getting so sleepy." She yawned.
"Come here..." He rested against the headboard again and invited her to snuggle with him. Rafaela did so and stayed silent while watching him zip through the channels looking for a good movie. Her eyelids became unbearably heavy, heavier than she could take or resist, her eyes began to blink as she fought to keep them open.
"This one?" James asked but there was no response and then he heard her heavy breathing.
An eyebrow raised in surprise; it was unlike her to fall asleep during a movie. He pulled her hair off her face and saw her sleeping. He smiled and watched her for a while. Then he adjusted her pillow and put her there, and stayed there watching her sleep for a while, playing with her hair and sometimes kissing her lips softly. He loved her like that, he loved her enough to watch her sleep and feel an overwhelming love.
"I love you." He finally whispered and looked back at the TV.