She was playing with Ozzie when her cell rang that morning.
"Lars!" She almost yelled happily to talk with her friend.
"Hi there."
"How are you?" She asked him, watching Ozzie chewing the rubber chicken she had bought him.
"I'm fine, you?"
"I'm doing great." She said giggling.
"Why are you laughing?" Lars asked curious.
"I'm watching my dog fighting with this rubber chicken I bought him yesterday." Rafaela explained.
"You have a dog?"
"James bought me one." She told him.
"James?" Lars said as a questioning tone but at the same time not surprised at all. He knew he was going to fight for her.
"We have been hanging out these days."
"I see..." He breathed, though he was happy James hadn't chicken out after their conversation in the studio some days ago. "Look, I am throwing a barbecue. Do you want to come over? You can see some of the people you haven't seen in quite some time, it might be fun."
"Sure." She said without thinking twice. Not only would she see some people and friends she loved, as well as she would see James, and that was her main point.
"Be here around two." Lars instructed her. She glanced at the clock and she realized she still had more than an hour.
"I'll be there. See you later."
"So, what's the dog like?"
"He's a white Boxer. He's just two months, he's lovely."
"Don't bring him over. He's gonna chew my new couch." Rafaela began to laugh at his remark. "Write down my address, you haven't been to my new place yet. " Rafaela did so and then they hung up.
"You're gonna be left alone baby." Rafaela talked to Ozzie that licked her hands as she tried to caress him.
Then her cell rang again. At first she thought Lars had forgotten to tell her something, but as she grabbed it she saw James's name on it. Her lips opened in a wide smile.
"Hi." She answered the call.
"Hey..." He said and then they fell silent, to burst into laughter right after. "Ok... Lars called me to go to his place for some barbecue. I was thinking maybe you want to come with me?"
"He just called me to invite me." Rafaela told him.
"Oh!" James exclaimed. "Guess I see you there then."
"You can come to pick me up, if want." She suggested.
"I'll be there in half an hour." James said with no further thought.
"I'm gonna get ready then."
"See you." He said.
"See you." She said. Then none of the two hung up. Rafaela giggled. "James... hang up!"
"You also didn't hung up!" He claimed.
"Ok... at three we go. One..." She counted "... two... three..." She hung up, hoping he did too, as she just didn't hung up on his face.
Rafaela ran upstairs to have a shower and get dressed, since she was still in her pajama. Then hearing the rain still tapping on her bedroom window, she thought about how Lars wanted to have a barbecue under that weather, but then knowing him as well as she did, she knew that if someone was capable to turn an impossible to a possible, that one was Lars. She opened her wardrobe and stared at her clothes. Choosing something to wear that would impress James was getting harder, since they were seeing each other every day. Still, she grabbed her tight black jeans, a black top, a red pullover and also grabbed her high heel black boots. She knew she would look good in that, and then she just had to find something to do with her hair and makeup would help for sure.
When finished with her shower she dried her hair, fixing the waves with a bit of foam, so it would define it better. Then she simply put a bit of mascara and black eyeliner, which was enough to enhance her huge and curled eyelashes, as well as to enhance the green of her eyes. Already dressed, she spread a few drops of perfume, again his favorite perfume, the one that used to drive him crazy, the one he sometimes asked her to put some drops on her neck before going to bed. Ready, she went downstairs and talked to Ozzie, like instructed him to behave. She only hoped her living room wouldn't be trashed when she came back, and then her heart ached a bit for leaving a baby dog alone, but she had to learn how to separate from him and vice versa. James rang the bell and she tapped Ozzie's head.
"You behave." She said and then grabbed her purse from the hanger near her door, then her keys from the phone table and she opened the door.
It was pouring rain, so she pushed the button to open the gate outside. James understood what she meant and drove inside, holding his breath when he saw her figure on her porch waiting for him. She looked stunning from his point of view.
"Thanks." She smiled hopping in.
"Hi." He smiled and she bent over him to kiss his cheek. The scent of the perfume invaded his nose. Not only she looked so wonderful as well as she smelled incredibly good.
"I wonder how Lars is going to throw a barbecue when it's raining this much!" She commented and they began their way there.
"He's not. He called me meanwhile that there was this slight change of plans. He ordered some sushi and stuff."
"Hum... sushi." Rafaela commented.
The radio was playing low and James was also driving slow due to the rain. They weren't talking, James was paying attention to the road and Rafaela was paying attention to the street, watching the view as they crossed the bridge. She has always been very fond of the view from there.
"Rafi..." James called her almost whispering, making her turn her head to look at him. Instead of going on he shut up, but she kept looking at him. "You look so beautiful." He said, letting out the words that were echoing inside his mind since he saw her.
Her heart raced but she was caught with no reaction. She was still fighting the need to rest her hand on his leg. "I hope Ozzie doesn't destroy my living room." She said out of nowhere and totally uncalled for, but James smiled.
"He won't. He must be crying all desperate he's there alone." He then laughed loud, because he knew that would terrify her. She tapped his arm.
"Don't say that! I make you go back so I can bring him with me!"
"What now? We're almost at Lars."
"I don't care." Then she fell silent and he realized she was in fact thinking about he said.
"He's not, he's probably chewing your couch and peeing on your carpet." Rafaela burst into laughter, throwing her head back.
"Hope he's not doing any of that."
"He's a puppy..." James said.
"Ugh..." She made a face. Then she trusted her puppy, she knew Ozzie must have been sleeping on his new bed. "How are you feeling?"
James understood the content of her question. "I am feeling alright. I took the pills as Tony instructed me. I don't crave physically which is a plus, on the other hand, my head is killing me."
"There's going to be booze at Lars', how are you going to cope with it? He'll notice you're not drinking."
"Maybe he won't, if he does, I'll come up with something." James said.
"You don't look as tired." Rafaela stated.
James smiled. "Because the pills work."
Meanwhile they got to Lars's new house. Rafaela whistled and James smiled at her reaction, and she hasn't seen his, it was even bigger, but decided not to brag about it. One day he'd take her there and hopefully she would love it.
"Hey man!" Lars came to the door to receive him and then looked at Rafaela. "Guys!" He said with a smile.
"Hi!" She smiled and kissed his cheeks.
"Rafi, you look stunning." Lars commented.
"Aw... thank you. You always know what to say to a woman." She said.
James eyed her that moment. He had told her the same and she didn't react the same way. She got inside the house and James did too, but seeing she was a bit ahead, Lars grabbed his arm to stop him.
"So, you brought her with you?" He whispered.
"You invited her." James defended himself.
"That's not what I meant jerk." Lars said looking in his face.
James rolled his eyes. "Yes. I wanted her to come with me." He admitted.
"Good." Lars tapped his shoulder. "That's great."
"I love her man. God... how I love her." He said.
"Then do your job."
James and Lars joined the others in the living room, where Rafaela was already greeting the people she knew. James watched from far, his eyes searched for her immediately.
"She looks calm." Lars told him.
"She does." He said still watching her.
"James!" Susan, a brunette, exclaimed when she saw him.
"Hi there." He said rather surprised to see her there. Rafaela looked back when she heard that woman calling his name.
"Came alone?" Susan asked him and James shook his head.
"Oh!" She said, then she began to look around trying to figure out with whom he had arrived, and then it hit her, the girl that had arrived just a few minutes before he came inside the living room. "You came with her?"
James nodded. "Yeah... I came with her." He said mesmerized by Rafaela's figure, while she talked to Kirk as if nothing bad had happened to them.
After a while, Rafaela came near him. They were both eating, and she had already talked a bit to everyone in there, apart from the people she didn't know. Rafaela noticed how Susan was all over James, not hitting on him, but the way her eyes always searched for him, the way she looked at him and the way she was looking at them, that moment when Rafaela was near him.
"Who is she?" She asked him, trying to be as casual as possible.
"Susan?" James asked back not sure of whom she was talking about.
"That brunette..." Rafaela said.
"That's Susan. She worked with us on tour." He explained, and he sounded relaxed. Rafaela looked back at her and both women made eye contact.
"Was she the one that picked up your cell?" She asked.
"No..." James shook his head. "That one was fired. Susan came to replace her in fact."
"I thought she was the one." Rafaela commented. Then she looked at him. "Because of the way she looks at you."
"You know nothing happened between me and that woman don't you? You're sure of that aren't you Rafi?" He asked her.
He wanted that to be clear between that. More and more they were bonding and talking about pieces of their life together.
"I know. I am sorry but my mind was at a such awful place. I was a mess, but I believe in you."
James grabbed a strand of her hair between his fingers and pulled it behind her ear so he could see her face better. "That's good." He whispered. His fingers were trembling a bit, so he left her ear quite fast so she wouldn't notice that he got that nervous from touching her.
"James, want a beer? Why aren't you drinking?" Lars yelled and they both looked at him.
"I can't drink." He said.
"Why?"
"Ah... hum..." James stuttered.
"He's taking medicine. He wasn't feeling well, and I went to the doctor with him, so he can't drink." Rafaela said promptly, trying to save the situation.
"Yeah, that's it." James affirmed.
Lars turned around to offer the beer he had in his hand to someone else and Kirk took it.
"Thanks." He smiled.
"I told you I would keep the secret." She smiled back.
The party continued. People ate and talked cheerfully, the thunders almost made the house shudder, but it was a nice environment. Looking around, James realized Rafaela was missing, she was no longer in the living room like everyone else, so he went looking for her. As he peeked on the room next to the party he found her. Arms folded around her chest, looking out at the window. She looked thoughtful and as he watched her, without being noticed, he figured out he'd pay a lot of money to know what she was thinking about.
"Why are you here alone?" He asked leaning against the door frame. She looked back.
"I guess it was too noisy in there. I came to find just a bit of peace." She said.
But that wasn't it, only she couldn't tell him what was wrong. Rafaela couldn't stand the fact that another woman had feelings for James, or at least, seemed like she did, and that he was free for her to get if she did a good job. James began to walk to her and stopped by her side.
"The weather is shitty." He said.
"Did you have other women?" She blurted making his head turn to her quite fast, he was caught by surprise with her question for sure. Rafaela looked bravely in his eyes.
"Rafi... you broke up with me..." He said. Rafaela looked down at her feet, that meant he was free to do so, and obviously that he did so. James took a hand to her face and made her look up at him. "Why are you asking me that?"
Rafaela shrugged. "I guess from seeing that woman into you, I guess."
"It never meant anything, Rafi." He said.
"It's ok... it's not like you owe me an explanation. I understand." She said and she sounded honest but hurt at the same time.
"My mind had so much stuff happening inside..." He still explained.
"Like what?" She asked. God, did she want him to tell her that he was still in love with her? Still, he spoke from his heart. If she could take the conversation that way she could deal with a bit of truth.
"Like having lost Liam and then you. It wasn't easy, then dealing with rejection from you, or I thought it had been rejection, now I know it was not. It was very hard for me." He told her. "I was trying to let go..."
"I am so sorry." She said with tears in her eyes and he cleaned her tears.
"I don't want you to cry." He whispered at her. He wanted so much to kiss her that moment, but resisted it, letting just his head fall until his forehead met hers.
"I thought you hated me." Rafaela told him.
"I don't hate you, not even close to it." He said.
"I told you this already, but it's so good to have you near me."
"Did you sleep with someone these three months?" He asked, though he didn't know how he'd react if she said yes. Rafaela ended up giggling.
"I was in a psychiatric hospital." She said.
"Kelly met her husband in rehab." He defended his point.
"I didn't." She affirmed and he almost took a deep breath. Even if she'd say it didn't mean anything, he was not sure he'd take it easily as she did.
They both knew that the next step should be telling each other that they still loved each other. Rafaela refused it because he said he wanted to be friends with her and he because of the doctor, or in case she said it first. That began to be very hard to control for him, what would be so wrong with telling her that he loved her?
"Was that bothering you? Thinking I could have slept with Susan?"
"James..." She whispered. "I have things to tell you, but I am not quite ready for it yet." She confessed. "But it bothered me, yes..."
That said nothing but said so much at the same time. His heart took off running, they were so close, so close to confess all their feelings.
"Come here." He whispered back and pulled her against his body.
His arms wrapped around her neck and hers around his waist. Rafaela buried her face against the fabric of his black shirt and against his chest, inhaling that manly scent of his that she loved so much.
"It's ok..." He whispered with his lips against the top of her head. "I'll wait. I'm gonna be here waiting."
"Oh... I don't want to let go." She said holding him stronger.
"You don't have to let go, ok? I don't want you to let go."
"When are you going to invite me to your house?" She then protested and he laughed low. She was a master at escaping.
"Tomorrow?" He offered.
"You want to see me tomorrow again?" Her voice coming out muffled from her mouth being against his chest. They were still holding each other.
"I can make the effort." He joked. She pulled away and tapped his chest.
"I can make the effort too to go your house tomorrow." She smiled.
James' hand flew to her cheek and he rested it there, letting his thumb caress her soft skin.
"Oh Rafi..." He breathed.