Rafaela woke up the next morning with her eyes so swollen that she could barely keep them open. She looked around a bit lost and still trying to process the events in her mind. The woman's voice echoing in her head. She groaned loud and began to throw objects against the wall. He could have done anything to her, anything, but cheating on her. That was the only thing he knew she wouldn't forgive him, the one thing and still, he did it, or she thought he had done it.
She looked around her room lost and took her hands to her hair, pulling it and then fell on her knees crying a bit more.
"He couldn't have done this. He couldn't." She sobbed all alone and cried for some time.
Then she went to the bathroom to take a shower, under water she thought about what to do. Obviously, catching the plane to New York as initially planned, was out of the question. She wouldn't meet him; she wouldn't talk to him again. She needed to get away, but where? While drying herself, it hit her. She had a plan B, a plan she never considered it to be a plan, but she thought as of a blessing that moment. Rafaela ran back inside the room and put on some jeans and shirt and then turned her cell on. Dozens of messages began to arrive, all of James, and she decided to delete them all without even reading or hearing them.
"Tod?" She said as her boss picked up her call.
"Rafaela, hi." Tod said a bit surprised.
"How's that thing in LA?" She asked.
"You want to go?" He asked her.
"Yes." She said determined with tears falling down her eyes. She was broken. She felt her heart cracking into small pieces. She wanted to die.
"What happened? What made you change your mind?" He tried to know.
"Don't make me questions, just tell me what I have to do."
"Well, can you come here to meet me?"
"Give me an hour or so." She told him.
As she hung up the phone, her cell rang right away. James's name appeared on the display and she shuddered a bit, then she refused the call and turned the cell off again. Last thing she wanted was to talk to him. Going down to the kitchen, she grabbed some yogurt and fruit and had it as breakfast and then she grabbed her purse and went away. As she passed by her suitcases near the door, her eyes filled with tears once again. She looked horrible, she knew it, but still she had a goal and that was to go away from there as fast as she could and hopefully she wouldn't be found. She didn't want to be found by anyone. All she wanted to run away and hide.
Morning traffic was insane, it took her more than what she thought to get downtown, but eventually she got there. Tod received her with a smile.
"You look awful." He commented as he closed the door of his office. He could tell something horrible had happened to her.
"Please don't say a thing and let's go straight to business. What do I have to do?" She asked sitting on the chair in front of his desk. Tod looked at her strangely, she looked strange indeed.
"Are you sure, Rafi?" He still insisted. Rafaela looked really lost. She was far from being alright and he was sure her decision was not a sane one.
"Tell me the details..." She said again and he nodded resigned.
"The flight is tomorrow after lunch. Someone is going to be down at the airport waiting for you. After you called, I arranged everything and have talked to people down in LA already. There they will instruct you of what you must do and what they want. I told them you were one of our best architects, I am not lying, you are, and I know you won't let us down."
"Just tomorrow afternoon?" She asked him a bit disappointed. She wanted to get away that moment for all that she knew. She wanted to vanish. She wanted to disappear.
"Are you running away from something?" Tod inquired her and she shook her head. "It looks like you are..."
"Look...ok. Tomorrow afternoon it is." Rafaela agreed.
Tod gave her an envelope with all she needed and talked for a while about further details and finally she left. Near her car she thought about what she'd do until tomorrow, she couldn't risk staying in the house, she didn't want to stay in the house. Still she drove there, all her things were there.
When she got home, she grabbed more bags and began to pack the rest of her clothes and everything she could and had space for and took it all to the entrance. There she stopped thinking if she was forgetting something and as she couldn't come up with anything else, she took all the bags to her car and then locked the door.
"Goodbye." She whispered feeling a lump in her throat.
With that she left, not looking back, not thinking twice and checked herself in a hotel until the next day, the day she'd leave town. Her cell remained off, she didn't talk to anyone, not to Kelly, not to her parents. She'd do that later, when she was already in LA and then she'd explain things properly. For all that she knew, everyone thought she'd be meeting James in New York.
Later that day, late at night, James paced around with his cell in his ear.
"Rafi, please...call me back. You misunderstood everything for fuck's sake. She just grabbed the cell. Nothing ever happened, nothing." He said leaving her yet another message. He hung up and then dialed another number. "How's my flight?" He asked while Lars watched him pacing around like a wild animal inside a cage. "I NEED A FUCKING FLIGHT BACK HOME!" He yelled nervous. "I have days off now, so find me a fucking flight back home. I need to go home damn it!" He said. Then he hung up throwing the cell on the couch desperately. His hands flew to his face and he rubbed them in it fiercely.
"Calm down man." Lars told him.
"I can't calm down. Rafi is interpreting it all wrong and I can't blame her. Man... if a guy picked up my call in her cell I'd be really pissed off, but I'd hear her first. She's stubborn man and she's very proud, I know what I am talking about. I need to go there... I need to talk to her and explain." James said speaking fast. "And she's not alright, Lars. I should have never leave her alone. I should have never come on this fucking tour without her."
"She will come to her senses, now calm down." Lars insisted. James was leaving him dizzy from walking in circles repeatedly.
James shook his head. "That bitch. What the fuck was she thinking? I will kill her if she ruins my relationship. Oh..." He shook his head again. "I can't even think about that..." He said with rage coming out of his eyes. His jaw clenched as he pronounced the words. Lars knew that would not bring anything good.
"Rafi is going to understand."
"You don't know her Lars.... you just don't know her. She's very impulsive. She jumps to conclusions quite fast and she's so proud. I know what I am getting myself into... I am in deep trouble with her..." He shook his head with tears in his eyes. "And it's not even that..." His voice choke as he couldn't hold his tears. "Rafi is far from being the woman she was... I know her head is not fine. I am afraid of the consequences."
"What the fuck was that woman thinking? I've always told you she was into you..." Lars added.
"But that didn't give her the right to do what she's done. Man... the only thing Rafi wouldn't forgive me is betrayal. I am fucking fucked. I know I am..."
"It's just a mistake."
"Such a mistake that she didn't come to meet me as we had arranged. Her cell is turned off since last night. I called her today, the phone rang, she must have been talking to someone because we don't have a phone in the house yet, and she refused my call and then turned it back off again. I couldn't contact her again; the cell has been dead since then. I don't know what is going on... I need to know what is going on."
The next day, James was able to land at SFO. He grabbed a cab to his new house in Novato. The whole way he bounced his legs up and down nervously. He even asked the taxi driver to go faster and tipped him to go above the speed limit. He pulled a 50-dollar bill and gave it to him, not bothering with the exchange. He closed the door of the car and ran inside his house. As he shut the door, he noticed how everything was quiet, her car wasn't outside.
"Rafi!" He called her name. Nothing, obviously, no one was at home. James climbed the stairs and entered their room. "Rafi?" He called again and noticed how her perfumes were not on the drawer, as well as her makeup box. James walked up to the wardrobe and with shaking hands he opened the doors, to find it basically empty, only the clothes he didn't take with him on tour were there. He ran to the nightstand and the drawer and opened it, to find none of her clothes in there.
"NO!" He yelled feeling his tears coming down his face. James took both his hands to his head and span around completely lost.
In her hotel room, she grabbed all her stuff and checked all her things ready to leave. "Fuck..." She then muttered realizing she had left some stuff she needed to work in the house.
Rafaela looked at the clock and checked the time of her flight, she still had time to go there, so she took it all back to her car and drove home. She parked her car in the garden and looked for her keys in her purse, she opened the door and as she closed it, she found a figure running to the entrance. They stared at each other.
"What are you doing here?" She asked him rather surprise.
"What the fuck do you think I am doing here?" He told her cleaning his eyes.
"Not for me I hope..." She said then passing by him, but James grabbed her by her arm, making her halt.
"Where are you going?" He asked.
"Getting something, I need and that I left behind." She said trying to sound cold, but her heart was running a mile per second. James noticed her swollen eyes and the lack of glitter in them again. She had that lost glare that he feared so much and the way she pretended to be cold, when he knew she was not.
"You need to hear me Rafi..." James breathed with his jaw trembling. "You're making a mistake, it's not what you're thinking." He said. Rafaela stared at him for a few seconds and then ripped her arm free, turning away and going upstairs. James waited for her to come back; she came back with some papers in her hand.
"Bye." She said. James placed himself in front of the door.
"You need to hear me!" He spoke louder. He knew yelling was not the best way to approach her, but he didn't care. They were losing everything!
"There's nothing to hear. I called you and a woman picked up the call. That woman was in your room James, in your room! What the fuck was she doing there?"
"She's the wardrobe girl." James cupped her face between his hands so she could look at him in the eyes. "She went there to give me some stuff and then I don't know what she was thinking, she picked up the call. Nothing ever happened Rafi. Nothing!"
"Right..." She said trying to free herself. She was about to cry, and she didn't want to, so she looked away.
"You have to believe me." He begged her. "I swear I am telling you the truth. I know it looks bad Rafi, but you must believe me. Please..."
"I don't believe you." Rafaela said freeing her face from his hands. James looked at her in disbelief. He knew what that meant. Their gaze locked and tears fell from both their faces.
"You took all your clothes away." He said.
"I guess you know what that means." She said trying her voice not to choke.
"You're making a mistake Rafi." He pleaded again and she motioned a hand for him to stop.
"Don't say anything else. I never thought you'd do something like this."
"I didn't do anything!" He said firmly uniting his hands in front of her face as in a plead. "I didn't do anything."
"Since you're here..." She put the keys of the house in his hands. "Here's the keys of the house."
"You're breaking up with me?" He asked but he knew all too well what that meant.
"Yes." She said looking away from him. She couldn't look in his eyes. She couldn't face him. All she wanted was to leave and fast. Then she opened the door to leave and he held her hand one more time and their eyes locked.
"It's a mistake Rafi." He whispered. "I've never done anything with that woman." She freed her hand and tried to leave. He grabbed her hand again. "Rafi..." He called her. She looked at him.
"Please, let me go." She said choking.
"You're not fine. I can see it... please calm down." He told her.
"I'll be fine when I leave." She insisted. "Let me go, please... just let me go."
"What are you going to do? Where are you going?" He asked too worried. He feared so much that moment.
"Just let me go..." She asked and he let go of her hand. With that she turned her back at him and he watched her going away.
James closed the door and sank down to his knees with his face buried in his hands crying loud. A few meters away from the house, Rafaela stopped the car. Her heart was beating too fast and her chest was glued to her lungs and she gasped for air incessantly. Her tears were falling heavily, to the point she could not see the road properly. Her body started shaking and she knew she was having a panic attack, like many she had had after Liam's death. Lately, James had been the one calming her down and now... he wasn't there anymore. She cried even more as it sunk in her that they had separated. Life couldn't be worse than that. Her head couldn't be worse than that.