1990
"Are we far?" Liam asked impatiently on the backseat.
"We're almost there." Rafaela answered for the zillion times. Her son was very impatient.
"I want to see daddy." He complained.
"We're almost there..." She said again, knowing her son had been missing his father lately. James had been on studio recording a new album, after a tour around Europe and Japan, and had been quite absent of home and Liam missed him the most.
"Hey..." She clapped looking back after parking the car. "We're here!" She smiled.
She began to unbuckle the 4-year-old boy and then grabbed his hand, but inside the studio, Liam let go and began to run down the corridor. "Hey...don't run. You know daddy doesn't like it when you run around here." But Liam was stubborn and kept running to the door.
"Don't open the door!" Rafaela ordered, but Liam played the deaf and when he got there, he burst in running.
"Daddy... daddy..." He yelled and when she got to the door James was already crouched holding his son tightly.
"I'm sorry, you know he never listens." She smiled. James got up and kissed her lips.
"It's alright." He said sweetly.
"What are you doing daddy?" Liam looked up at him. James was his hero.
"Playing new songs." He said ruffling his kid's air.
Liam looked around and then held onto James' legs seeing a man he had never seen before smiling at him. He could get shy like that in seconds in front of a stranger.
"Hi." Bob greeted him but Liam didn't say a word.
"Say hello." James told him.
"Hi..." Liam said shyly.
"Hello." Rafaela shook the producer's hand. Metallica was working with Bob Rock on their new album.
"This is my girlfriend and well, this is my kid." James said proudly.
"Nice meeting you." Bob said and Rafaela nodded with a smile.
"Where are the guitars?" Liam interrupted the moment looking up at James who smiled tenderly at the kid.
"They're hiding from you." James laughed. Liam began to wander around the studio while the three of them watched him, then he found one of James guitars' and James went up to him grabbing his hand.
"Don't touch the guitars, come on." He told his son.
"But I want to." Liam sulked.
"Liam, mom and dad are going out for lunch, don't you want to come with us?" Rafaela called for his attention.
"NO!" Liam yelled and crossed his arms around his chest. "I want to play with the guitars first." Bob Rock laughed.
"Seems like he's got his father temper." He said, making Rafaela laugh.
"He's got all his father's temper." She played along.
"I heard that fucker!" James smiled pointing his finger at him. "Don't make my woman agree with it. Stop corrupting her." Liam was already by James's hand.
"What's fucker daddy?" Liam retorted.
"Don't say that in front of him." Rafaela retorted.
"It escaped." James defended himself. Liam tapped on his leg.
"What's fucker?" Liam insisted. Bob Rock laughed at the boy's insistence.
"Yeah..." Rafaela grabbed her son in her arms. "Now you explain that to him daddy. You know he repeats everything he hears."
"Ok buddy..." James looked at him serious. "That is something you cannot say you hear me? Don't go to school saying things like that." Then he turned to Bob. "I'm going out for lunch with them and then I'll come back."
"Sure." Bob tapped his shoulder. "Have fun."
"Say bye Liam." Rafaela asked her son.
"Bye!" He waved and Bob Rock waved back amused.
As they walked away, Liam passed on to James' arms, wrapping his legs around his waist. Tenderly, he kissed the kid's cheek.
"Have you been behaving?" He asked and Liam nodded. "Really? Because you know mommy is going to tell me all about it."
"I have." Liam exclaimed indignant. "Haven't I mommy?"
Rafaela looked at him smiling and didn't say a word. Sticking a finger in his belly, James' teased him. "Mommy didn't say a thing, seems like you are hiding something."
"I didn't do anything." Liam said already irritated making both of them laugh. "I just broke something at grandma's..." He admitted. James looked at Rafaela.
"The jar my mother had near the entrance; he was playing with the ball..." She explained.
"Have you apologized to grandma?" James then asked and Liam nodded. "You have to apologize, always."
"She wasn't mad at me." Liam giggled and James giggled with him.
"Yeah... that's exactly the problem. When we're trying to educate you, your grandparents are spoiling you terribly." He spoke like his child could understand the meaning of his words.
"What?" Liam asked lost and James kissed him again.
"It's nothing sweetie." James assured and putting him on the ground as they reached the car.
James drove them to their favorite steak house with a very talkative Liam on the back. They did their best to talk between them, but it was almost an impossible task as Liam always called for attention. Then, and after ordering steak au poivre for them and chicken nuggets for Liam, they expected him to be a little quiet, but Liam was far from being a calm and quiet kid.
"Legs down Liam." James ordered him and pulling him down to sit properly on the chair.
"But I want to be on my knees!" He argued.
"Do you see any other kid on his knees?" Rafaela asked him and Liam looked around.
"But I want to." He said decided.
"You can't." James said firmly. "Sit straight and behave."
Liam pouted and Rafaela smiled and then grabbed James's hand in hers.
"Don't forget his recital tomorrow." She remembered him.
"No, don't worry. I'll be there." James took her hand to his lips and kissed it.
"It's important, it's Father's Day. It doesn't make any sense if you're not there."
"I've never failed his things at school except when I'm on tour."
"I'm gonna sing a song daddy and dance." Liam told him enthusiastic. "Do you want me to sing?"
"No..." James cracked a laughter. "We're in a restaurant." He explained.
"I can sing at home." Liam said.
"Daddy is gonna be late." James said and Liam looked at him disappointed. Not taking the sad look in his son's face, he bent over him and placed a kiss in his forehead. "Don't be like that, you know daddy has to be home late sometimes, don't you? You're a grown-up man."
"I know..." Liam sighed.
"How was the interview?" James asked Rafaela. She had finished college and was looking for a job.
"I think it was alright. They said they'll call, but I have a feeling I got this job." Rafaela smiled with enthusiasm.
"It's good. I have this feeling you're tired of being at home." He commented.
"I went to college to be an architect, not to be graduated and stay at home. Liam is at school in the mornings, you're busy with your thing, I need my occupation as well."
"Sure." He smiled taking her hand to his lips and giving it another kiss.
Late at night, at home and after putting Liam to sleep, Rafaela waited for James to be home. She always did that; it was like a routine. It didn't matter how late he was; she'd wait for him awaked. That night wasn't different, he got home by 1 am, exhausted as usual. Nothing special would happen, it was not like they would sit and watch TV or talk. They would just go to bed together, but it pleased them both to do things that way.
Already in bed, they used to talk a little, they used to make love. Their relationship and their love was far from being questioned, though she'd prefer he'd have more time for his family, but she understood his lifestyle. Naked and panting from having loved each other one more time, Rafaela came back to her side of the bed and stared with her green eyes at James.
"Have you thought about what I told you?" She asked sweetly.
"I really don't want to have another baby Rafi." James told her.
"Why not? Liam is 4. I think it's the right time. I want to have another kid. We've been together for six years now."
"It's not that. I am happy with you and I love our son, but I am alright with things the way they are now. I am 27, I have plenty of time to have more kids and so do you. He occupies us so much..."
"It sucks to be an only child. I am one and it's boring. I don't want him to be the only one." She argued.
James rolled on his side to look at her and placed a hand on her face. "Please understand. I am fully satisfied with just one child. I am busy as hell with the band. You're trying to get a job, where in that is that we're going to have time for another baby. We had Liam. We know how it's like to have a baby around the house. They're very demanding and depend on us. Liam fulfils me enough." He explained.
"You're being selfish, you're just thinking about your needs." She shot.
He took a deep breath. "No... I am not and you know it. We're in this together, it takes the two of us to decide if we have a child or not. It was like that when we found out you were pregnant. If I am asking you to wait a bit more, what's so wrong with that? Aren't you happy just with him?"
"I am happy with him, ok. I just miss the baby smell, I don't know...I want to have another kid." She insisted.
"And I don't want to." He said firmly.
"Oh..." She groaned turning around giving him her back, but James took a hand to her shoulder and turned her back to him again.
"Don't turn your back at me. We're discussing something important." He said.
"What do you want me to say? I want to have another baby; you don't want to. I don't think there's anything left to discuss." She raised her voice visibly annoyed. "Everything has to be your way, according to your schedules, according to your band. Everything has to be according to you!" She accused him. "It's ok. I knew you were in a band and I am glad that you made it but every time we need to decide something we have to think of Metallica first... that's not fair for Liam and I."
"It's not like that..."
"Yes!" She sat on the bed. "Yes it is like that!"
"Maybe we should talk about it tomorrow." He decided and took a hand to turn the light on his nightstand off.
"I asked you something that you refuse!" She continued already in the dark.
"I don't want to have a kid now!" He also raised his tone. "It takes two to want it and I don't want it now. It's not the right time. We didn't have a choice with Liam, he was a surprise, but we have a choice now and I don't want to go there. I am satisfied the way things are, I am completely fulfilled with him."
"Right..." She muttered.
"Don't be like that." He asked curling his body on hers.
"Ok...never mind..."
"I mind babe." He whispered and kissed her cheek. "Just wait a bit more, that's all I ask."
"How long?" She asked back. "How long do I have to wait? After this album is done? After the fucking tour of this new album is done? When?" Rafaela was mad.
"Daddy..." Liam entered their room and James turned the light on immediately.
"Hey sweetie." James smiled. Liam approached his side of the bed and then climbed on it, snuggling against his father. James wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. "What's up?" He asked sweetly.
"I woke up." He simply said.
"You have to go back to your bed." James told him.
"Will you tell me a story?" The boy asked him.
"Daddy is tired." Rafaela told her son.
"It's ok..." James assured and got out of the bed carrying his son in his arms.
Rafaela watched the whole scene wondering why was it that he didn't want to have another child, since he was so patient and sweet with Liam. James was a wonderful father. That was something she couldn't deny. His decision didn't make sense in her head. A few minutes later he came back.
"He passed out right away." He chuckled.
"I think he heard your voice and he misses you." She said.
"Yeah..." James agreed.
"He always asks during dinner if you are coming home." James looked at her with a bit of sadness in his eyes. Then he caressed her face.
"Look... I know that my life isn't easy. It imposes a lot of restraints in you both but never doubt the love I have for both of you."
"Don't forget his recital tomorrow." Rafaela said instead.
"I never forget." He bent over her and pecked her. "Just wait ok. I am not saying that I am done with kids. I am just asking you to wait a bit more, please. I am so busy, Rafi. This album is taking so much of us. Please, wait. A little longer... please."
"Sometimes it is hard to deal with your schedules..." She confessed. James placed a kiss on her forehead.
"I know, babe..." He whispered. "Don't think that I don't know how hard it is sometimes to deal with it. It is hard for me too, believe me. Sometimes I want to be here with you and Liam, and I can't, but I also love my music. I need both in my life. I cannot live without my family, but I also cannot live without my music."
Rafaela raised her head and kissed his lips. "I would never ask you to leave your music. I'm proud of you, really. But it's like you say, sometimes I wish it would slow down a bit so you could spend more time with us."
"I promise I will slow down after this new album." He said.
His truthful eyes made her heart melt and she nodded. "Thanks." He pecked her again.