James grabbed the baby and put him in the car. Since he was meeting Rafaela at college, she took the bus that day. The day was warm, and the sun was shining. James played the radio low for the baby was sleeping and sang along Motorhead also low. He felt somehow happy and rested. Rafaela and he were able to talk and sort things out. He wanted things to be alright and was willing to do anything for everything for things to be alright between them. It was enough the pain he felt for having lost another important person in his life, so if being alright with Rafaela meant to keep Kelly away, though he thought she was exaggerating, then he would do it.
He even had a smile on his lips for his heart felt rested that moment when parking the car in front of his girlfriend's college, but the view of the blonde girl also waiting there made his smile vanish and his heart skipped a beat in panic and in disappointment too. Kelly was there as well; one couldn't be that unfortunate. He smelled trouble again. Rafaela would snap, he was sure and all he wanted was to have a quiet lunch with her and their child.
"Oh fuck..." He whispered anticipating the ending of his quiet time.
Nevertheless, he got out of the car and walked up to her. Kelly turned her head to the figure she felt approaching she and then she smiled, but James didn't smile back.
"What are you doing here?" He asked her annoyed.
"I came here to talk to Rafi. She was so upset yesterday that I think it is better if I talk to her." Kelly explained.
"You should stay away Kelly." James said coldly. "If she was upset, then you should just stay away." James knew he was being unfair, after all, Kelly decided to go to college instead of their house as she used to, showing she didn't want to get in trouble with Rafaela, but his family came first.
"I need to talk to her and clarify things. I know her, probably better than you do, so I know Rafi is interpreting things the wrong way. I know she's jealous. I've known her my whole life, so I need to talk to her and make it clear that I am not, not even one bit, interested in you. I am over you, it is true that I only realized that in rehab, but I am over you, totally over you, so I need to tell her that."
"I think you're gonna make things worse, honestly..." James retorted. "I want you away from us Kelly." He said being totally clear.
Kelly curled an eyebrow looking at him. "You think I am after you as well?" She asked and James remained still and silent looking back at her. "Well, I am not. I have a boyfriend and I am in love with him. Robert is the best thing that happened to me in these years. You broke my heart James! Do you think I would ever come back to you? I have some pride! I would never go back to you. First, you broke my heart by cheating on me with another woman, second, that woman was my best friend. I would be insane if I ignored all that." She said.
"You're still bitter!" He affirmed. Maybe Rafaela was right all the time.
"No..." She shook her head. "I am not, really...what you and Rafi have done was awful, but I talked to her a lot about this and she explained you two fell in love with each other. In rehab I learned a lot of things, not only how to control my addiction. I also learned one does not control feelings, so I can't hold anger against Rafi because if I think about it, I know if it wasn't for love she would never do anything like that to me. So I have to forgive her. Proof is, you two are still together until now. Proof is you're asking me to stay away because, I bet, she asked you to and you're willing to do what she asked you because you love her the same way she loves you. Proof is you two have a baby now. I would never go back to you, let alone beg for your love."
"I'm sorry..." James spat, knowing she was right.
"It's ok." She smiled.
"I have Liam sleeping in the car. I better go there." He said. With that he came back to his car, excusing himself Liam was sleeping in there, but the truth was, at least Rafi wouldn't see him near her when she get out. That would spare him some trouble for sure.
A few minutes later James saw Rafaela coming out of the huge brown door and beginning to cross the equally huge lawn, towards his car. On her way there, she saw Kelly. James noticed how her lines became rigid and he got out of the car to go to her.
"Hi." Rafaela told Kelly and then looked at James. He bent over her and kissed her lips, then he approached her ear and whispered.
"She was already here when I arrived." He said like excusing himself and she took a deep breath, probably calming herself down as she was also tired of fighting with him, and that was supposed to be their afternoon out, to have fun, to laugh and to cuddle. She didn't want to ruin that. He certainly did not need her to nag him so much in such a difficult moment of his life.
"I'll be right back." She told him, putting her books in his arms. James nodded and sat back in the car and watched her walking towards her friend. For a moment he feared what she was going to do but he was going to let her do things her own way that time.
"Can we talk for five minutes?" Kelly asked her.
"Sure..." Rafaela accepted.
"Rafi, you were so upset yesterday that I felt I had to come here to talk to you." Kelly began. That second Rafaela's heart began to pound pumping blood into her veins faster than the regular flood.
"You went to my house when you know I am not there." Rafaela told her confronting her.
"It was a coincidence Rafi. Think about it... really... first I went there thinking you wouldn't take too long to come back and the next day I went later but you took even longer to come back. It was a coincidence. Look... I just got you back, do you think I was going to do something just to lose you again?" Kelly tried to reason her but there was something in her eyes...
"I don't know..." Rafaela looked at her reluctantly.
"Rafi... I am over him, really. I have a boyfriend..." There Rafaela didn't let her finish for she was so sure her friend was lying to her.
"Who is that boyfriend that I never saw? I think you're lying Kelly and the fact that you've been saying such things just prove my case!"
"Don't be arrogant Rafi!" Kelly shot visibly mad. "Robert was in the rehab center and somehow I feared to tell you I was in love with him and that we began to secretly date. Maybe because I was still hammering on the fact that you stole a boyfriend from me once." Rafaela opened her eyes surprised. "Don't look at me that way..." Kelly continued. "I had a hard time Rafi. I loved James a lot and you knew it and now I felt something that was as strong for this boy, so I was afraid. I know that was silly, of course it's not like you're going to do that again, but it took me some more time in therapy to completely see that. Among other things that I already told James and I don't feel like repeating it. I am in love with a wonderful person and I feel he loves me back, something that, if I am honest, I never felt with James because he made sure to tell me all the time he didn't love me. He wasn't in love with me. So, I am not lying. I am telling the truth. Look..." Kelly pulled some photos off her wallet and put in Rafaela's hand. "This is him..."
Rafaela felt her guilt meter rising again, not only for doubting Kelly but also for the hell she had given James last days. "God... I am so sorry Kelly." She couldn't feel worse than that very moment.
"It's ok. I also understand your side. That's why I came here and not to your house anymore. I want things clear between us. I know keeping this friendship is harder than I thought, for both of us, but I want to keep it and I know the more time will fly the more we'll be confident again. You were the only person to help me when I really needed Rafi and I will never forget that." Kelly convinced her.
"I am so stupid. "Rafaela whimpered feeling ashamed.
"You were jealous of your boyfriend, that's not being stupid." Kelly rubbed her arm in support and smiled sweetly at her. "I hope things are clear now."
"Bring Robert for a coffee sometime. I'd like to meet him, and I hope he's the one Kelly."
"I think he is. I will bring him to meet you don't worry. Now go, James is waiting, have fun." With that Kelly planted a kiss on her friend's cheek, but it was very fast and light. Some things were still strange for them.
"I am sorry Kelly, really." Rafaela excused herself one more time, even feeling ashamed of herself.
"Go..." Kelly said almost as an order.
Rafaela got in the car and James stared at her before starting the engine. "Is everything alright?" He asked her. "I didn't know she was here." He added defending himself.
"It's ok..." She rubbed his leg smiling. "Let's have lunch because I am starving." With that she put James' heart to a rest, and he began to drive. They stopped by a diner they loved to have their favorite burgers, while Liam still slept peacefully in his stroller, placed by the table.
"How was it?" James then asked after ordering their food.
"It was ok. She explained herself... oh..." She shook her head. "I feel so stupid right now..."
"Why?" He asked, though he knew exactly why but he wanted to hear from her. He wanted her to apologize to him.
"Because she even showed me photos of her with her boyfriend and I have been saying all the time that she was lying, thinking she was still after you and then all the hell I've been putting you through because of it and... in the end it was all my imagination. I am sorry James." She apologized in the end. He liked that.
"I told you so babe, but you didn't listen." He caressed her face to let her know everything was fine.
"She told me she didn't tell me she had this boyfriend because she was afraid I'd steal him..." She sighed looking in his eyes. "Like I was going to do that..."
"Well, you stole me from her." James commented and she looked at him rather offended. "It is true babe..." He said grabbing her hand. "Whether we like to put it that way or not, but coldly that's what happened."
"But I was in love with you!" Rafaela exclaimed. "I wasn't going to steal this one, Jesus... I thought that was also clear."
"For us that is clear... but not in her head." James commented. "She was going through a hard time princess. I bet it's not easy to go to these rehab centers and overcome an addiction. I am quite sure there's a lot of things in your head that aren't settled until you are definitely out of the use of drugs. She said she only realized a lot of things after some time, so don't take it to the heart."
"I understand..."
"See?" His fingers intertwined in hers sweetly. "Such a mess for nothing babe..."
"I know..." She admitted. "That's why I feel so stupid."
"I love you; you fool." He giggled and she smiled genuinely at him.
"I was so jealous." She confessed. "God... I am so sorry James. You are living such a hard moment in your life and I have been acting so crazy."
"Hope it's over now." He said and she nodded. "I've never given you reasons to be jealous babe, never. I cheated on Kelly countless times Rafi. Even before you, I was never faithful to her. Eventually I would leave her for another girl sooner or later, it was just..." He shut up then thinking it was probably not a good idea to say what he was about to say.
"Sex..." Rafaela said the word instead and he nodded.
"It was just sex."
"And now you don't have the need to have sex with other women? Sometimes you're away from home for long..."
"No." He affirmed. "I don't want to have sex with other women. What for? I know you would never forgive me, and I love you too much to jeopardize what we have. You fear that?"
She nodded. "I do...sometimes..."
"Then don't." James squeezed her hand. "Be sure that I only have you and have only been with you since we're together. Be sure of that."
"Ok." She bent over him and kissed his lips.
After lunch, James and she headed up to the hills, to their favorite spot, the spot they have been together for the first time, considering it was their first real date, though hiding from everyone. Liam woke up but was playing with his hands and babbling sounds, and they were hand in hand in their front seats talking and cuddling and kissing, just enjoying their time.
"How are you feeling?" She asked him, running a hand over his face.
"I am dealing. God... you distracted me a lot of it these days. While giving me hell I could not think about it much. I do feel guilty though. I feel guilty I cherish I am alive to be here with you and our kid." He confessed to her. Maybe not talking to her was also making her insecure and he finally needed to let it out and Rafaela was the right person to do so. No one else in the world would understand him better. She was his person. She had been his person since they met.
"I told you before, there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean you didn't like Cliff. We all know how much you loved him and we're all sure you're having a hard time dealing with this loss, but don't make things worse by feeding this guilt because any of us would feel the same way."
"I suck at dealing with these things, you know that. I just didn't want him to go, that's all. I miss him so much. I miss talking to him..." His eyes watered and she bent over his face to kiss his lips warmly.
"It's part of the process." She whispered against his lips. "Just don't bury things inside you. Let them out. Allow yourself to grieve properly." She pecked him again and then pulled away to look in his eyes.
She was going to speak again, but he pulled her back to him looking deep in her eyes and their lips united again, parting to search for their tongues and they kissed, slowly, languidly. Grabbing her hand in his softly, he began to guide her down his crotch and then rubbed her hand in there. She broke the kiss to smile against his lips realizing how hard he was.
"Humm..." She moaned enjoying it. James took his hand away, but she left hers there, rubbing him over his jeans. "Hard..." She whispered pecking him. He loved how frisky she had become. Her kiss was nothing but pure teasing, arousing him even more.
"All stiff for you..." He breathed cupping her face between his hands, then pecked her juicily and raised his hips against her palm, and she squeezed him gently but good. He breathed in with her touch. "Come to my lap." He asked her.
"The baby is here." She argued, making him giggle.
"He's playing with his hands babe; he doesn't have a clue of what is happening. Come here..." He said in the end, pulling her up to him. "Good thing you're wearing a dress." He kissed her running his hands up her legs. When she straddle him, she rubbed her crotch against his, teasing and arousing herself unashamedly, she was dying to do that. There was no way she could feel him that hard against her hand without craving for him.
"I'm all wet for you." She whispered in his ear and he bit her neck, she could feel him smiling against it.
His hands pulled her face back to him and they kissed one more time. Her hands tugged on his long hair and he pulled her hips away from him, making her crash with her back against the steering wheel. James pulled the seat back and then unzipped his jeans, freeing himself fast. Then pulled her back to him and she raised her hips a bit, taking his hands between them, James pulled her panties to the side and guided himself inside of her, then let go, resting his hands on her hips and helping her move.
"You were all wet indeed." He teased her with mischievous eyes and smile, noticing how smoothly he slid inside.
"I told you." She pecked him.
"Oooh..." He moaned low in her ear. "You're so fucking warm. I so want to fuck your brains out right now."
"I'd love that." She defied him, but definitely there was no space for such thing. It was that way or nothing. Still, James managed to thrust from underneath, harshly.
"I'd put you on your fours and I would ram inside you madly." He kept teasing her while she closed her eyes feeling his stabs from under her. Her muscles reacting to his pushes, to his thrusts.
"And what else?" She played along.
"I'd make you scream and whimper in joy. I'd do your ass..." She shuddered there; he knew how she loved it there. "Oh Rafi..." He groaned feeling the fever of pleasure picking upon him.
"Like that baby... fuck me like that..." She moaned feeling her orgasm about to hit her. "Oh..." Her lips opened in an O and his hips slammed into her as fast as he could. His fingers grabbing her in place, though she couldn't move anywhere else, but that was his way to keep her in place, to show her who commanded.
"Babe... I'm gonna come." He moaned. "Aaahh..." He moaned again and there he felt her tense, contract and then shudder. Rafi orgasm and he didn't take the way she squeezed him. "Fuck..." He let out loud and his body quivered under hers, spilling his seed inside of her right there, in the middle of nowhere. While panting, he saw her smiling openly.
"What?" He asked.
"Liam is smiling at us." She said beginning to laugh. James looked back and laughed too, then he extended an arm to grab his son's hand.
"Hey buddy... that is awful, watching..." He said to the baby who released a giggle that made them laugh even harder. Liam was their biggest love.
"Oh Jesus, he's so innocent." Rafaela said.
"Babe, grab some tissues, I need to clean myself." James told her. Rafaela grabbed some of Liam's tissues and handed it to him. Then she crashed against him again.
"I want more." She teased him against his lips.
He whistled. "Let's go home. I am all for it."
"I want everything you promised me here."
"Ooh..." He laughed. "Don't release the beast in me Rafi." He laughed and kissed her lips.
"But I love that beast..." She kissed his lips suggestively; James rolled his eyes. Her talk made him all aroused again. She was feeling it under her. "And I think.. we are not going anywhere just yet..." She kissed his neck.
"Our son is watching." He played. But she was feeling his hands travelling up her legs.
"So... do you want me to go back to my seat?" She pulled away to look in his eyes already darkened with the arousal.
"Fuck no..." He whispered pulled her head down to kiss her.