My eyes fluttered open, but the room spun around me. Nausea forcing me to shut them again. I tried to move my body, but my arms and legs were restrained.
I'm so fucked.
I tried once again to open my eyes and focus on anything in the room I that surrounded me. First I noticed the canopy draping over the bed, then the ceiling.
I had to be in a cabin of some sort. My foggy mind trying to fill in the blank spaces in my mind.
"Oh, good, you're awake, reina." Miguel's voice made me want to cut my ears off and feed them to pigs.
"Fuck you." I spat at him, pure disgust written all over my face.
He got a wicked smile and his eyes wondered slightly as if he was reminiscing about something. He chuckled lightly before responding.
"Don't you remember the day I took your bastard of a man, your dearly beloved Giovanni?" Sarcasmism ringing in his voice, as he walks up to the bed and sits on the edge.
I frail my arms and kick my legs, but it's no use, they only thing I did was hurt my injured arm. Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to give him the satisfaction.
"The day I cut your dick off."
That wiped his stupid smile right off his face.
His face turned cold, morphed with rage. His eyes were dangerous, but only for a split second. If I had blinked, I would have missed it.
"You'd be surprised what miracles surgeons are able to perform, now a days." He said nonchalantly.
"What the fuck do you want from me?" I yelled at him, my voice almost breaking.
He was like my recurring nightmare. He came in the dead of night and just started killing. Killing people I loved and cared about. Taking my peace of mind. Corrupting my soul with his filth. Shattering my heart beyond repair.
Was his goal to break me so bad I'd never been able to glue myself back together? To take everyone I loved until there was no one left to take? To leave me a hollow shell, a fraction of the woman I was 6 years ago?
"The same thing I've always wanted, only now I'm making sure you stay."
Has this man completely lost his mind? Am I destined to be surrounded by mentally ill men my entire life? What kind of sick joke was life playing on me?
I laughed at his delusional state of mind.
There is no way in fucking hell, heaven or earth that I was going to willingly stay by this man's side.
"How exactly do you plan on doing that?" I asked curiously, between fits of laughter.
"I already did it, reina." A malicious smirk crossed his face. "How long do you think I've had you here?"
My heart started pounding in my chest. I look down at my body, and realize I'm no longer wearing my clothes, but instead a black, silk nightgown. My ankles and wrist are raw where the cuff rubbed against my skin. My left arm neatly bandaged, not a trace of blood.
"What have you done to me?" I yelled at him.
"Your memory gets worse and worse every day, reina. I've kept you comfortably sedated for the past 3 weeks." He laughed, like it was the most normal thing in the world to keep someone hostage.
3 weeks?!
My pounding heart dropped to my stomach. My breathing hitched.
"I may have gone a little overboard the last time, though. You lost consciousness for a few days. I thought for a second I killed you both." He shrugged his shoulders.
Killed us both?
My mind flooding with torturous thoughts, immediately thinking of my sweet Sophia. Had he been able to some how get to her? Did he have her drugged up in the next room? Was she scared, alone, or cold?
Those questions led to more questions. Where was Niklaus? Were Sophia and Aiden okay? Had they completed the mission? Were they even looking for me?
"Don't worry, you'll get to see them soon." He said nonchalantly as he walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge, laying his hand on my exposed thigh.
I flinch at the contact as my mind continues to run free, scrambling for a recollection of anything that had happened these past 3 weeks.
Miguel watched me with amusement on his face as he saw me struggle to piece together the fragments in my memory with no success.
What the fuck did this man do to me?
"I've had so much fun with you lately, it's so much better when you're compliant." Miguel's voice rang out, his eyes traveling up my body, before landing on my eyes.
My eyes went wide, tears springing to them. My heart rate picking up again. Flashbacks shattering the walls I had built in my mind. My lungs stopped working, my mouth hung open as I looked frantically around the room.
How do I breath again?
I felt my stomach vile travel up my throat, but I couldn't choke it back down. I spewed the contents of my stomach out, burning like acid, barely able to turn my head to have it land on the bed instead of me. Miguel jumped off the bed just in time to avoid getting vomit all over him.
"I'm going to rip you apart." I glared at him.
He laughed wickedly.
"I doubt it."
I watched as he called in a small framed woman to clean up the mess I had made and walked out of the room.
She walked in with a trash bag and a roll of paper towels. She had deep brown eyes that were full of sympathy when she looked at me.
"Where is she?" I choked out.
She furrowed her eyebrows, and for a second, I thought she couldn't understand me.
"Where is who?" Her accent was thick, but understandable.
"Sophia. My daughter."
She cocked her head slightly to the side.
"I'm sorry, señora, but you're the only one here. I don't know anything about your daughter."
I don't know if I should be relieved or not.
She quickly got the mess cleaned up as I was battling with the tortuous thoughts in my head.
Miguel walked back in the room, carrying a syringe, walking slowly over to me.
"It's time for your medicine, reina." He said as he put the syringe closer to my arm.
"No, wait!" I yelled out. "Where is she?"
He had the same reaction as the maid.
"Who?"
"My daughter."
He let out a laugh that would send a shiver through the devil's body.
"I'll get rid of her soon enough. You have a new baby to take care of."
I felt a pinch in the bend of my arm as he emptied the syringe into my vien.
"What the fuck... are you talking... about?" I choked out, trying to fight the numbness traveling through my body.
"You're pregnant, reina, I got the confirmation back this morning. The doctor will be here in two days to perform your first prenatal appointment."
My eyes started to feel heavy.
No! No! No! I need more time, did I even hear him, right?
But my mind had already slipped into the oblivion. My mind and body numbed. I could still see around me, but I was no longer in control of my body. Everything moved in slow motion, the words coming out of Miguel's mouth were impossible to understand as they dragged out and slurred into on another.
Had this been my life for the past 3 weeks? Why couldn't I remember anything?
I wanted to cry, maybe I was crying but due to the numbness of my body I wouldn't feel the tears going down the sides of my face. I wanted to scream, but it was like my head was being held under water. I wanted to kick and punch, but it's like there was an invisible force sitting on top of me, preventing me from moving.
I was relieved when I managed to keep my eyes closed. Welcoming the black emptiness, engulfing in its peace. I was left alone and paralyzed, my mind being my only company.
I thought of my Sofia. Her birthday is September 30th. If it's been 3 weeks to the day, today is her birthday and I was missing it. I reminisced on all her past birthdays, it was always just her and I. We always baked her cake together, singing and dancing to Disney songs around the kitchen while it was in the oven. It hurt my soul to think of what she was doing right now. It's been 3 weeks, she probably thought I was dead, just like Giovanni. Her innocent heart probably shattered. Seeing her beautiful green eyes, stained with red as tears fell down her sweet face, broke me in ways I can't even put into words. She's probably so confused at life's cruelness, it hasn't been kind to her in the past 2 years. Miguel's words haunting me as I remembered that he would get rid of her, I refused to live in a world without my daughter. If he took her away, I would kill myself and take the abomination I was carrying with me.
The abomination... A product of being raped while unconscious, by the murderer of so many of my loved ones. I'm pregnant. My body is the home of a potential psychopath. What would happen when I heard the heartbeat in two days? Would I get attached like I did with Sophia? Would I be able to love it or would I hate my own child because of the father? Would they look like him, act like, think like him?
My mind going into a frenzy. I'm pregnant, but not by who I wanted. Niklaus was supposed to be the father of my childern, he is the love of my life. I wondered what these 3 weeks have been like for him. He was probably going absolutely insane, blaming himself for something completely out of his control. It's been so long already, would he ever be able to find me? Was he even still looking? Would he still want me knowing what my body was nurturing? Would he be repulsed that I was carrying the his cousin's murderer's child?
If there is a higher power, please give me the strength to get rid of this child, or the strength to love it as I love Sophia, enough to say fuck it all to hell, I'm standing by my babies, because I don't think I can do either right now.
My parents. Oh, god, my parents. Accepting Niklaus' child was a lot simpler than it will be to accept Miguel's, after what he did to Luca. I would have to tell them what he's done to me, I'd have to relive the nightmare all over again, they'd probably question my sanity as to why I couldn't just get rid of it.
Getting rid of it? Adoption. That seems like a humane solution to this all. I'll make sure they go to a good home, far away from all this mess. They'll never know who I am, who their father is, or everything that he's taken from me in order for them to be born. It'll be a clean slate for them, the blank page that they deserve. They're innocent, they didn't ask to born in these circumstances, and I won't condemn them for it either.
I just had to find a way to get out of this situation. I had to get back home, but how? Miguel literally kept me drugged out of my mind. I'd have to earn his trust. Play victim of Stockholm syndrome, convincing him to let Sophia live, waiting for the perfect opportunity to slip away. How long would all this take? I'd have to leave before my child was born and he took them away from me.
Suddenly, realization hit me. He planned on using my child to keep me hostage. That's how he would keep me from leaving. I'd never abandon a child with a man like him, especially not my own. Now, it all made sense.
Light flooded my dark world, my sight focusing on Miguel, who held my eye lids open. He had a malicious look on his face as he stuck another syringe in the bend of my arm, this time only pushing a few drops into my vien.
"Can you hear me better?"
I slowly nodded my head, relieved to be getting some control back over my body.
"Good, you've been out for hours. It's time to eat." He motioned to a small tray that laid on the nightstand beside me.
"I'm not hungry." I choked out, my voice hoarse.
"I didn't ask. You're pregnant and you will nourish yourself properly."
He grabbed the plate off the tray and scooped a spoonful, placing it on my lips, waiting for me to open my mouth.
I wanted to take it and spit it right in his face, but I had to gain his trust. I slowly opened my mouth and ate the rice.
A triumphant smile plastered on his face as I continued to eat.
"It did you good to know we were having a child."
I choked back some rice that threatened to rise up in pure disgust.
He looked into my eyes while smirking.
"You deserve a treat for being so well behaved." Amusement rang in his voice.
My eyes went wide, as he put the plate back on the tray and smashed his lips to mine. I instinctively bit down on his lower lip, drawing blood. He wiped it off with his sleeve.
"You like it rough, huh?"
Then colliding his fist with my jaw line. I groaned out in pain, my jaw locking uncomfortably.
Not a feeling I cared to relive again.