Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for not updating....I've been going through some things outside of Wattpad, so I've been trying to keep everything in order and stuff...anyways, leggo.
*PLAY SONG ON SIDE>>>>*
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[Monologue #53]
Love surrounds one in several ways. It's hard to find which one you're actually receiving. You may still resent those who turned their backs on you, but it's because they cared about you. So forgive. It's the only way to be at peace with yourself.
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{1 Month Later, Monday, October 20th}
(Omniscient P.O.V.)
For the past month, the school had been abuzz about Jassie and Prince. Ever since that night of Ben's fete, everone has been questioning if they were in cahoots. Though the two haven't put out any eminent innuendos, people were starting to connect dots to the whole Sevarion incident. Jassie explained that she wasn't involved, while Prince denied his strength, saying that he didn't have the guts.
In the midst of the drama, Jassie and Prince grew closer and stonger individually and as a couple. Though they had to keep their relationship on the low, it was easier to stay away from asinine occurances from others. They had enough time for each other and all honesty was there - if you exclude Prince's underlying secrets.
Sevarion ended up getting his facial reconstruction. He was definitely unrecognizable. He still was good-looking in the face, but it scared Sevarion to know he'd have to go on and start life over. During the time he was on bedrest in the hospital, he reflected on everything he had done. He'd hurt the only girl who actually who actually saw Sevarion for Sevarion and not for his good looks. She was the only one who knew his story. How could he be so stupid to let her go?
The thought of that made him sick to his stomach. From there on, he promised to start anew. He hoped and prayed to God that he was forgiven. He knew his temper was bad and that he caved and that caved under pressure. So, he made a promise to himself to change - for the sake of Jassie and his baby. He promised that as soon as soon he was well and healed, he'd return to school and reclaim his girlfriend back.
Little did he know that she was in love with competition.
Overtime, Jas'marieé had began changing up her decisions and goals. With a baby on the way, she stopped attending parties that may trigger her old ways. She removed her belly piercings as her hips and stomach slowly expanded. She had a bond with the unborn infant, and it'd crush her if it was gone--and she would be the cause. Overall, she had been on point with her baby stuff, as well as her grades. It was early in the year, and she only needed eight more credits until she graduates. From what Courtney, the principal, says, she just might be able to go to any Ivy League school she wants.
Princeton was on the borderline of graduating too, needing only five more credits until he graduates. Since it'd be a long time before he failed, he had other things in mind. He began to question his love for Jas'marieé. There was no denying that he was in love with her, but had it gone deeper than he expected? That he'd risk his life for her? That he'd put his life on hold in order to care for a baby that wasn't his? In all honesty, it was his own insecurity. If he flat out admitted it, would she feel the same back? He knew she loved him, but was their definition of love on the same level?
The answer was yes--completely.
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(Jas'marieé's P.O.V.)
He kissed me at the front door of Lexi's house, practically begging for me to stay longer.
Prince: Babe, please?
Jas'marieé: Nope. You might try something funny since I'm wearing a skirt. Besides, I can't be doing anything laborious--like sex.
Prince: I feel offended. (laughs) Why do you think I was thinking about sex?
Jas'marieé: (kisses him) Because you're an asshole.
Prince: I'm not an asshole. (laughs) In that case, you're a pussy.
Jas'marieé: Hmm....you are what you eat, right?
I smirked and he gave me a straight face. I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist. I'm gonna see how far I can take this joke.
Prince: You play too much.
Jas'marieé: (laughs) I know. (stripper voice) You wanna play, daddy?
Prince: (laughs) Jas'marieé Gutierrez, you are a trip.
Jas'marieé: I know I'm a trip. All you need to do is ride your plane into me.
Prince: Keep this up and I'll fuck you right here and now.
Jas'marieé: Oh, don't tease me, daddy. We can go right here, in the garage, the stairs, the kitchen counter, or my favorite, the shower.
He bit down on his bottom lip and I saw his pants rise sky high. I smirked and began walking away from him. He got me by my waist and I knew he was smirking.
Prince: How about you lay with me for the night and I don't try anything....
He tugged on my skirt and I smiled.
Prince: Unless you want me to.
Jas'marieé: Fine. Only because I teased you.
He smiled victoriously, leading me into the house.
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{The Next Morning, Tuesday, October 21st}
The next morning, I woke up with a smile on my face. My stomach had thousands of butterflies. I had this type of glow to me. I had read about it in an article; pregnancy tends to make people glow.
I looked to my right and saw Prince sound asleep. We almost had sex last night, but we just wanted to wait for the right time. That explains the hickey on my neck.
I was not trying to miss any days of school, so I got up and did my daily routine. After that, I went to Prince's closet and pulled out my outfit for the day. I chose to wear a dress--a dress! Call me crazy, but I felt the need to wear one. It was a black and white striped dress that stopped a little bit above my knees. I paired it with navy blue TOMS and diamond earrings. I did my hair in a spinwheel bun and applied some clear lip gloss.
Once I was done, I went over to Prince and woke him up. I shook him and called his name, but he wouldn't budge. So I resorted to the last thing I knew could wake him up; I put my mouth to his ear and...
Jas'marieé: TWO CHAINZZZZZZZ!
He jumped up and I started laughing. He looked like he wanted to kill me for waking him up, but he laughed anyway.
Prince: Why'd you wake me up, nigga?
Jas'marieé: We got school, nigga. Hurry up!
Prince: I want to stay home.
Jas'marieé: Why? It's sooooooo beautiful outside! Where's your spirit?
Prince: Jas, are you okay?
Jas'marieé: Why wouldn't I be?
Prince: You're overly happy and glowing. Did that hickey last night do the trick for you?
He smirked and I playfully rolled my eyes. He laughed.
Jas'marieé: Suck my dick, Prince.
Prince: Too late, I got enough of your neck last night.
Jas'marieé: You're an ass. (laughs) But for real, you're staying home?
Prince: Yeah. Just get my work for me?
Jas'marieé: You owe me.
Prince: I got you. Now what is this article of clothing you are wearing? Jas'marieé Gutierrez in a dress? To school?
Jas'marieé: Don't act all surprised.
Prince: Well alright, yellow nigga.
Jas'marieé: You yellow too, nigga. (looks at her G-Shock) Shit. It's thirty minutes to eight. I gotta go, babe.
Prince: Aight. Have a good day.
Jas'marieé: I don't know...I can't have a good day without you.
He smiled and held my hand.
Prince: You will, baby girl. Trust me. I love you.
Jas'marieé: Love you too.
I kissed him before grabbing my phone and my bag. As I did, Prince slapped my behind and winked at me. I laughed and left the house. I walked to the train station to wait for the J train. Once it came, I rode it all the way to Cleveland Street and walked the rest of the way to school. When I made it there, no one was in the hallways, so I knew I was beyond late. I walked to the main office to receive my late pass before heading to History. When I got inside, everyone stared at me before tuning back into the worksheets given on. I handed my late pass to Lisa, our history teacher.
As Lisa went on with the lesson, I took notes and thought about my babe. He's my world and I wouldn't change, nor replace him for anyone or anything.
***
Once lunch came, I stood in line with Jamee and Nyah. They kept asking me of my whereabouts the night before, being that we had plans to see this movie called That's Not My Doctor. [A/N: Fake movie...I think.] Being as modest as can be, I laughed it off. We got our lunch and headed to our table. I began devouring my grapes as they both grilled me with questions.
Nyah: Where were you, nigga? We missed you.
Jamee: Right? You went M.I.A. afterschool.
Jas'marieé: Guys, relax. I was with Prince.
Fangirling in 5...4...3...2...1...
Nyah&Jamee: AWWWWW SHIT!
Jamee: What did y'all do?
Jas'marieé: (laughs) Nothing much. Just coolin'.
Jamee: Y'all had to do more. You're glowing!
Jas'marieé: Am not. (eyes turn green)
Nyah: Are too!
Jamee: Did you two finally have sex?
Jas'marieé: What had happened was—
Nyah: Awwww shit!
Jamee: How was it?
Jas'marieé: Guys, we didn't. We almost did, but we wanted to wait a little bit longer. The only thing he did was give me a hickey on my neck.
Jamee: Awww...
Nyah: So, are you in love or what?
Jas'marieé: I am, surprisingly.
Jamee: Awww! Did you ever tell Prince?
Jas'marieé: Not yet. I'm waiting for the right time. Besides, what if he doesn't love me back?
Jamee gave me a straight face. I laughed.
Jamee: Dude, Prince fucking worships you! Every time we are in Living Environment, all he talks about is you. That boy is in love.
I blushed at the fact that Prince might be in love with me. I don't think I could ever be with anyone else besides him at this point. I believed that me and Prince would be a phase, but I guess not.
As I thought about that, I heard Jamee and Nyah gushing over some boy. That made me snap out of my thoughts and listen to what they were saying.
Nyah: I want the number. He is a skin!
Jamee: Tell me about it. He can get it all.
Nyah: I'm saying! Why wasn't he in any of our classes, though?
Jamee: Maybe he just came.
Jas'marieé: Who?
Before I could even get a response, a boy with green eyes and skin the color of Sevarion's walked past our table. I checked out his outfit. He had a green 10 Deep shirt, beige cargo pants, and Jordan Concords. He was sexy as hell. He looked back at me and gave me a head nod. I waved and went back to eating. Jamee and Nyah started giggling at me.
Jas'marieé: What?
Jamee: That was him.
Jas'marieé: Oh.
Nyah: Oh? Chick, he is fine.
Jas'marieé: He is, but you know what's up.
Nyah: Well, obviously he thinks you're attractive.
Jas'marieé: Well, I love my boyfriend. Straight like that.
Nyah: Understandable, but can you at least get his name for us?
Jas'marieé: Now?
Jamee: (sarcastically speaking) Nooooo...Later. Yes now!
Jas'marieé: (laughs) Well, damn.
I got up and walked to the boy's table. There were a bunch of thirsty, baldheaded, beasty ass hoes in his face, so I shooed them away.
Jas'marieé: Beat it, whores!
Ho #1: Bitch, sit down. You're not even that cute.
Jas'marieé: But your nigga liked me last year and tried to get in my pants? Oh. Okay. Womp.
Ho #3: Bitch, you're lame as fuck like...
Jas'marieé: But you look like you were born in the Salvation Army. Fuck you mean?
Ho #4: But her swag is way better than yours. You look like you came out the shelter. Hoodrat ass ho.
Jas'marieé: I know your little Honey Boo Boo looking ass ain't talking about someone looks like a hoodrat when you're rocking USPA, Coogi pants, Adidas Samoas, and your weave is leaning! Looking like "all my life I had to fight". Girl, get your life. Womp.
Ho #2: (to the other girls) Let it rock. She ain't worth it.
Ho #1: Fuck that! I'm gonna whoop her ass. Just because her bitch ass is pregnant don't mean I can't do shit.
I stepped to the fat, beasty one and crossed my arms.
Jas'marieé: So, wassup? You trying to fight over a nigga you just met? (laughs) Drink bleach. Quench your thirst.
Ho #3: Shanti, just let it go.
Shanti (Ho #1): Dub that bullshit! I'm gonna poof her shit.
[ NY Slang For Dummies: Dub- Swerve, Forget it, fuck that. Poof- punch someone in the face.]
Jas'marieé: So hit me, bitch!
Before Shanti could hit me, I felt someone pull me back. Thank God. That bitch is a beast. I looked up and saw the boy holding my arm.
Boy: Chill. They ain't worth it. You're too pretty to be fighting.
Jas'marieé: Thanks. What's your name?
Boy: You know me already.
Jas'marieé: (raises eyebrow) No? Your voice sounds highly familiar to me.
Boy: Follow me.
The boy took my hand and brought me towards the stairwell that leads to the second floor.
Jas'marieé: Who are you, dude? I'm pretty sure I'd remember you.
Boy: I guess I have to show you.
With that being said, the boy grabbed my waist and held me close. I slowly began to get annoyed.
Jas'marieé: Nigga, who the fuck are you? I'm tired of these fucking useless ass innuendos.
Boy: Your ex!
Jas'marieé: What?
Boy: Sevarion!
All anger within me ascended to a point of no return. Was this nigga serious? I pushed him off of me and started walking away from him, trying to hide my incoming tears.
Jas'marieé: You asshole!
Sevarion: Riri, wait!
I stopped in place and turned around, giving him the evilest glare I could.
Jas'marieé: What?! What the fuck could you possibly want?! To beat my heart to death? I fucking hate you!
Sevarion: I'm sorry! I hate how I hurt you!
Jas'marieé: Sorry can't reverse how much pain you put me through. Damage is done. I want nothing to do with you.
Sevarion: What about our baby?
I stomped over to him and slapped him in his face. I knew I was pushing boundaries, but it was a risk I was willing to take.
Jas'marieé: My baby will be fine. You're a fucked up individual, you know that? You wait until I'm damn near four months pregnant to want to be a father? Get the fuck outta here! You're sick. I don't even want my baby to know of your existence, but I'd be a fucked up mother if I didn't let my baby know. I should really be a bitch and be vindictive and kill this baby, but I've grown to love my child more than you ever will.
Sevarion: You don't mean that.
Jas'marieé: DON'T SAY THAT! I can't stand you. I never wanted someone to die as much as you, and I really hate myself for saying that. If lightening hit you right now, I'd laugh. I hate you, Sevarion Ridgewood.
I ran away from him, crying my eyes out. I could hear him calling my name. The fact that he thought I'd come back to him blew me. Was this nigga really serious?
I pulled out my phone and called Prince. After two rings, he answered.
Prince: Hey Jas!
Jas'marieé: Prince...please come get me.
Prince: What happened, baby girl?
Jas'marieé: I'll explain later. Please just come get me. Bring Lexi so she can sign me out.
Prince: Aight. I'll be there in a little bit.
Jas'marieé: Okay.
He hung up and I went back to where Jamee and Nyah were to get my bag. They looked at me, concerned.
Jamee: What happened?!
Jas'marieé: His name is Sevarion Asshole RIdgewood. Don't date him.
I walked away from them and back to the hallway. Thirty minutes later, I got a call from Prince.
Prince: We're here. Come outside.
Jas'marieé: Okay. Give me two minutes.
Prince: Aight.
I walked out of the hallway and towards the front door. The security yelled after me, but I ignored them. I ran to Prince and gave him a hug. The remainder of my tears poured onto his shirt as he held me tightly. I felt safe in his arms.
Safety--maybe that's what I've been needing all along.
***
When we got to Lexi's house, I took Prince upstairs and explained why I needed to get away from school. When I mentioned Sevarion being back, Prince's demeanor changed. He went into his protective boyfriend mode. I had a feeling he was hiding something huge, but I didn't want to ask. We were in too deep.
He cared. That's all that mattered.
After we talked about the crappy two hours of my school day, we started on our homework. We nailed every single lesson and completed our DYO's. With nothing else to do, we laid around the room, eating brownies and watching Tom and Jerry. As we did that, we talked about different things.
Prince: I really want to leave the states again.
Jas'marieé: To go where?
Prince: Anywhere. Everywhere. What about you?
Jas'marieé: Japan. Jamaica. India. Canada. Anywhere.
Prince: We should go out of the states.
Jas'marieé: With the rest of the group?
Prince: Nah. Just us.
Jas'marieé: We can do that. (smiles) Quick question.
Prince: What?
Jas'marieé: Since you've been in New York, have you been all over New York?
Prince: Not really. Why?
Jas'marieé: Interesting...
Prince: I'll ignore that. (laughs) I need to ask you something too.
Jas'marieé: What?
Prince: Why haven't you visited your mom?
I stayed silent. That was a good question; why did I never see my mom or my dad? They probably had it worse than I did. It was selfish of me.
Jas'marieé: To be honest, I really don't know.
Prince: Jas'marieé, she misses you so much. The least you could do is see her.
Jas'marieé: I'm afraid to. If I see my mom cry, I will die inside. I don't think I'd be able to breathe if—
Prince: Babe, breathe. She'll be crying happy tears, if anything. How about you go see her this weekend.
Jas'marieé: Fine. I'm nervous.
Prince: Don't be. I got your back, baby. This is the only way to be at peace with yourself.
Jas'marieé: You think so?
Prince: I know so.
Jas'marieé: See? I'm glad I have you. You make me feel better.
Prince: That's what boyfriends are supposed to do.
Jas'marieé: What else are they supposed to do?
Prince: Protect you, make you smile and laugh, listen to you, hold you when you're crying, make compromises, support you, and--most importantly--love you.
He smiled at me and I smiled back.
Jas'marieé: Do you love me like you say you do? Like for real?
He looked at me, nervously and hesitantly. He stayed silent and I felt my stomach drop. I stood up and grabbed my bag without a word. I was surprised with my own reaction. I had no more fight in me. All the animosity I had towards him and a bunch of others was gone. The only thing I wanted was silence. Prince walked over to me.
Prince: Jas'marieé...
Jas'marieé: (nonchalantly speaking) Yes, Prince?
Prince: Are you mad at me?
Jas'marieé: No. It was a stupid question.
Prince: Jas'marieé, I didn't mean for it to seem like I don't care about us because I truly do.
Jas'marieé: Just drop it, Prince. I said it's fine. I'm stupid for even asking that question.
Prince: You're not stupid! Even if you were—
I winced, slightly annoyed when he said that and he noticed that off the bat. Why was everything going haywire and I'm not angry? Is it because I loved him so much, that I was blinded by it?
Prince: That came out wrong.
Jas'marieé: It's okay. You got it. Love can't be lost if it was never there, right? (half smiles)
Prince: You don't mean that.
Jas'marieé: You sound like Sevarion saying that. The only difference is that you haven't beaten my heart to death yet. (grabs his hands) I can't be mad at you, Prince. If anything, I'll end up falling for you all over again.
With that being said, I kissed him on the cheek. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and a half smile before speedwalking down the stairs to thank Lexi for signing me out. When I got outside, it was raining hard. The rain didn't bother me at all. I undid my bun and let me hair fall as the rain made it damp.
I walked all the way to the train station and sat on a bench. I didn't want to go home. There was only a few ten people waiting for the train. I looked to my right and saw a baby in the arms of a teenage boy, who looked my age. I looked to my left and saw a homeless couple, who were unfazed by the staring and the ridicule of the dumb ass middle school girls farther down from where I was. As much as much as my heart was hurt, I couldn't cry. Who knew love could smite and hurt so bad?
I wasn't mad at all.
Silence avoids it all.
I looked down at my stomach and slightly smiled.
I didn't turn stubborn overnight.
Love just fucked me over too many times.
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Awwwwwwwwww. This chapter right here >>>>>>>>>>>>
Sorry for the month-long wait. I flipped my shit when I realized I haven't posted. And I had this chapter and the next one written in my notebook. :(
Did Jassie overreact, without overreacting? Was Prince wrong for being hesitant? Will this be a dealbreaker in their relationship? What about Sevarion? Do you think he's trying to change or is this all an act to get revenge unexpectedly later on?
Find out!!!!!!!!! :)
Goal: Blah. Lol. Type whatever you think should happen.
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*Mindless Fact Of The Day*
R.IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.PPPPPPPP... to the gap you used to see! Roc got his gap fixed. :) I miss the gap, though. He was cute with it. (He's still cute now, but you know what I mean.)