Lukas's POV
I was sitting on the couch, my hands covering my face, when I heard the bathroom door slam shut. She didn't want to be with me... Hell, even I don't know if I want to be with me.It's true what I said to her, I'm nobody's boyfriend. I never had a serious girlfriend, only a shitload of hookups that didn't mean anything. That's why whatever it was I was feeling scared the crap out of me because the part about never settling down with the girl next door was a complete lie. I actually, maybe, might want too. It's all so confusing but one thing is sure, it's impossible to stay away from her.
My mind was with Drew sprawled over her and the thought of me thinking she wanted it until I saw her anxious face, haunted me. According to Drew she had kissed him probably earlier on the evening before things escalated, and I felt betrayed in some messed up kind of way. I'm messed up, I'm hurt too.
My stream of thoughts was interrupted by a noise in the bathroom and I instantly felt worried. Why did I react the way I did?I was hurt and angry, but I basically told her myself that it was her fault and I regretted every word of it. The closer I walked towards the bedroom door, the louder the sound of Isabella's sobs echoed through the door.
"Bella, are you okay?" I said after a swift knock on the door. I felt glued to the floor, my head throbbing with concern.
"I'm fine." She yelled, but her lips where lying and I knew. She was trying her best to dodge every sign of emotion, but as much as she tried, she failed. I put my hand through my hair, tugging at the roots with frustration laced through my fingers.
"Open the door Bella." I hid behind the softness of my voice while my thoughts were going crazy inside my head. I wanted to fucking beat Drew all over again.
"I'm not dressed." She shrieked and I imagined her lip trembling with emotion as she tried to cover up the sound of her sobs. Without saying another word, I gave her the space she obviously wanted. I sat back on the couch, my eyes watching the door, waiting for her to come out. This girl was changing me. When I saw her walking around campus with a smile on her face, I instantly felt a rush of happiness wash over me. I felt like I was having an heart attack when I saw her at the coffeeshop on her chair with her head in the clouds, daydreaming. And all I hoped was that she was dreaming about me.
The way she smiles so carefully like she's almost not allowed to, how she rolls her ridiculously green eyes at me, how she blushes when she's angry and how she stutters when she lies. It's all these small things I noticed about her that drive me insane. I never noticed these things with other girls, well I never wanted to, but when it comes to her, I wanted to know it all. I didn't even know half of it and I couldn't wait to find out. I was addicted to her taste and moreover her presence around me, but I was about to go cold turkey because she was pushing me away. Her words about being her friend lingered around somewhere in my stupid brain. If being her friend meant still having her close, then friends it was. It wasn't what I wanted deep down and I knew it, but it was better than nothing. It's her turn to come to me, and I'll wait. Even though it's going to kill me.
My hand started to throb, and I knew that wasn't a good sigh. I shouldn't have hit my dresser, but it was the frustration of tonight and the hurt by her words finding an outlet, much to my regret because I'm pretty sure both my dresser and my hand were broken. When I looked at my hand, busted knuckles and all, the bathroom door swung open. Isabella standing in the living room with a big towel wrapped around her body, her skin bright pink like she had been boiling like an egg. She carefully took small steps towards me, her eyes trying to avoid eye contact.
"Do you have any clothes for me to wear? I don't want to put mine back on." She whined, carefully shifting her eyes towards me. Her blonde hair looked darker when it was wet and the water had stripped her of all her makeup. She looked even more innocent, and young, her face bare like and angel which mad her green eyes pop even more than they already did.
"I'll see if Mia has something." I smiled at her and the corners of her mouth tugged up. There was that smile again, the kind where she looked like she didn't deserve to smile. God, I just want to pull her against me and whisper into her neck the she deserves every fucking bit of happiness on the globe.
I walked into Mia's room, which was messy as always. I opened her closet, trying to find something comfy for Isabella to wear but nothing in my sister's closet screamed comfy. Mia, are you freaking serious, do you not own anything other than fucking crop tops? Like for example, I don't know a sweater or a T-shirt that at least covers up your tits and doesn't look like a washing machine accident! I cussed at Mia mentally, quickly combing through her closet with one hand because I knew for sure my hand was broken as the pain got worse by the minute. All I could find that looked somehow comfortable and appropriate, was a pair of black leggings.
Exiting her room, I disappeared in mine and took out a plain black T-shirt from my dresser, which was indeed as broken as my hand. When I walked back out Isabella turned around, her piercing eyes looking at the black mess of clothes in my hand.
"Here." I smiled as I pushed her new outfit into her free hand while the other desperately held onto the towel. "I'll leave you to change."
I walked into the bathroom and the first sight were her clothes in a pile on the floor. I picked them up and threw them in the laundry. Minutes after I took off mine and threw them on top of hers in the basket. I didn't even need to question why she asked fir clothes, I get why she didn't want to wear her's.
I stepped into the shower turning on the faucet, the water instantly burned my skin and I almost slipped and broke my neck trying to avoid getting cooked. I shook my head, confused but in the process of shaking it I realized Bella had been showering before me.Freaking hell, who showers like that! This is hot enough to get first degree burns! I cursed quickly trying to turn the handle to cold. When the temperature was optimal, not too cold, not to freaking boiling hot I stepped underneath letting the water glide over my skin. I hissed as the water made the cut on my face sting and my busted knuckles burns.
After my shower I stood in front of the mirror. I frowned my brows and put my lips in a straight line as I stared through my eyelashes at my reflection. My hair still wet and messy, the cut on my face clean but bruised and the skin under my eyes dark. I sighed deeply when I pushed my hair back putting it out of my face. I'm such an idiot. The girl I like is sitting in the other room and I can't make a move because she'll only push me away more. The one girl I actually want, doesn't want me.
In my boxers I walk into the living room, grabbing and icepack from the freezer in the kitchen. I winced the second the ice touched my broken had. Great! I knocked at the door of my room making sure she was dressed.
"Can I come in?" I asked and an exhausted girl opened the door. Her gaze didn't leave mine, as I walked over to my dresser. I quickly put on some shorts and grey t-shirt while juggling with the icepack, not wanting to disturb her any longer than necessary. I looked at her and her skin was still blushed reminding me I nearly got burned in the shower. Why does she do that? I let my eyes glide over my black t-shirt she was wearing, and it suited her. Even like this she drives me crazy.
I never thought I would actually like giving a girl my clothes. My one night stands always wanted to steal them for some reason like they're a fucking trophy. Her eyes were following my every move while she sat down on the bed, letting her legs hand off the edge. Even though for a moment we just looked at each other, eyeing each other up, there was nothing romantic about this moment considering what she went through.
"I'll let you get some rest now. You shouldn't go to class tomorrow. Sleep in as long as you want." I said walking towards the door.
"When do you leave for class tomorrow?" She almost whispered, her full lips parted when she looked at me.
"I'm not going either." I said, opening the door. I could feel her eyes staring at my back.
"Why not?" I turned around looking at her while I stood in the doorway, the portal between leaving her behind and being with her the entire night. It's the last one I wanted most but also the one I couldn't do. That wasn't what she needed right now.
"I'm gonna go to the hospital and get my hand checked out, I think it's broken." I said while holding my ice pack covered hand up. She gasped with surprise and I saw sadness and guilt wash over her face. "Don't worry about it." I smiled at her one last time and walked out, letting go of my last chance to spend the entire night talking to her.
After an hour of tossing and turning in my sister's bed which was as hard as a rock. How the hell does she not wake up grumpier than she already is after a night on this freaking stone. I couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried to relax. How can I relax with Bella in the other room? I know she isn't okay, I know that, but there's nothing I can do! Lying in bed frustrated about not falling asleep I'm became more frustrated about frustrating.
I grabbed my phone and started scrolling through my socials. Facebook had a bunch of crap on it, cat video's and shit like that. Once I was done watching video's about people putting cucumbers behind they housecats I averted my focus to Instagram. I smirked at my phone as I realized I never took a look at Bella's profile. I typed in her name and fucking prayed she didn't have her profile on private. I clicked on the first account that popped up but it was a dude from Canada. Shit wrong profile. The second one was a hit when I saw her profile picture.
Scrolling through her profile didn't benefit my insomnia, I was only getting more exited, literally everywhere in my body. Her account was so different from all the other college bimbos. No pictures showing of her tits, no ass cheeks hanging out from under a pair of hotpants, just her sweet smile and her personality cracking the screen of my phone and piercing all the way to my heart. Her green eyes popped in every picture and I couldn't help but to zoom in on every one of them, getting a closer look at her face. At all her imperfections that made her so beautifully perfect. She's gonna to be the end of me.
I almost threw my phone across the room when a message popping up on my screen scared the hell out of me and I'm pretty sure I accidently liked a picture of her from two years ago. Shit, shit she's gonna think I'm stalking her now.
I opened my messages and was confused when I saw who had send me a message.
Snowflake ❄️: I'm sorry about your hand...
Her message lit up both my face and my mood at once, chuckling behind my phone like a kid, that's how far it has come.
Me: I told you, don't worry about it... SLEEP
Snowflake ❄️: I can't...
Me: What? Stop worrying or sleep?
Snowflake ❄️: Both...
Me: Me too... Can't stop thinking about today...
Snowflake ❄️: You and me both then...
I felt angry, sad, happy, quirky, the entire rainbow of feelings when I was texting her.
Snowflake ❄️: ...
I saw the dots indicating she was still typing when the door of Mia's room slightly opened. Bella peeked her head through the door, the screen of her phone lighting up her entire face. I sat up, trying to invite her in. But she didn't wait for the invitation. She got in still wearing those black leggings and my, from now on, favorite t-shirt.
Without saying a word, she shuffled over to the bed her feet hesitantly dragging over the wooden floor. She stopped just inches from the bed looking at me and I couldn't make up what her eyes were trying to tell me. She crawled over the comforter I was laying under. I didn't move, confused and surprised by what she was doing. She laid down next to me her head resting onto my chest. At first, I was as stiff as a board when her head touched my beating chest, it beating quicker by the second especially when she put her arm over my stomach. The warmth of her skin burning holes through my t-shirt and trough my skin all together. When I felt her face snuggle into me, I relaxed putting my hand on her head, trying to comfort her.
"Just hold me." She whispered as if I was the only thing in the world that could save her right now and I felt blessed, special for maybe the first time in my life. I pulled her closer to me, the only thing separating us was my comforter.
"Bella?" I whispered into her hair my nose picking up the scent of the mango shampoo she used.
"Mmhh..." She hummed, relaxing even more into my body like she wanted to make us one.
"Let me be your friend. Please, I don't want to be your enemy. You don't deserve one more." I whispered and I meant every word of it. If friends was all I could get for now, I would take it and treat it like a blessing. When the words left my lips she burst out into tears, sobbing, crying, letting it all out until she fell asleep in my arms, my t-shirt stained with tears but I was happy she trusted me enough to show what she was really feeling instead if pasting a fake smile on her face. This was the real Isabella and I liked her even more... Shit, I don't think I can stay just friends with her for long...
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❤️ Hi Loves, It was a long one but it felt good writing it... It sheds more light on what Lukas is thinking and how he feels helpless about the situation.
🖐🏼 Please let me know what you think, each comment feeds the fire burning in my fingertips to write the next chapter.
➡️ Don't forget to vote if you liked it
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