Chapter 51
I looked at Levi, when I finally got some alone time with him. "Did you know about the genocide before, or was your little speech just for us?"
Levi raised an eyebrow. "I had no idea, and I was just as shocked as you are. Wait, do you not trust m-"
I cut in, before he could say anything that could ruin my good intentions. "It's not that. I just don't want secrets between us. I feel like there's so much, and I want us to start on a clean slate. I have something to tell you." I paused to watch his reaction, but his face was unreadable, as he let me talk. "Wale killed an enforcement agent, and I helped to cover for it. It was the day you were shot and he got so-"
His jaw ticked. "He did what?"
"Let me finish. He had to. It's -"
"He killed a person. A human being and you said nothing about it. You just let it slide."
"Jesus, Levi. That man almost killed you and God knows how many other radiants he killed. Wale was defending you. You had no idea how scared we were."
"Do you have any idea how scared his family would have been? He could be a father or husband or someone's son, and he took that away from them."
"Do you have any idea how scared those families of the deceased kids are? Their situation is much worse. Their families don't even know they're dead. I can't imagine their pain. Those agents were trained to die, those kids weren't."
"An eye for an eye doesn't solve the problem."
I narrowed my eyes. "Well, It's bound to happen someday. I'm not justifying it. I'm just -"
Levi paced around. He seemed awfully uneasy. "Yes you are. That's exactly what you are doing. We've made it very clear here that we don't kill. That's what makes us better than humans. That's what makes us superior. If we are forced to kill, then we have consequences and punishments to face for doing that. Not for a killer to just continue working with us and pretend like it didn't happen."
"You need to realise that this isn't us just hiding out. We are fugitives. I understand that maybe you can get away from this, but the rest of us can't. This isn't just a fight. It's a war, and in wars, there are casualties. People would die. Just like that man and just like Arnold, and any other person that died because of this. If we don't step up now, we might end up like that country that's freely killing radiants. They need to stop seeing us as weak people. They need to see us as assets. They need to fear us."
"Fear can make things worse."
"Not all the time. If you play your cards right, they might finally treat us as equals."
"Where's all these coming from?"
"You almost died in front of me. I was so scared and God knows how many more would die by their hands. We need to fight back. Not just hiding and barely hurting them."
Levi's eyes darkened. "You want us to kill?"
"I'm not asking us to murder. I want you to see that we are warriors. We deserve the options too, like they do."
"We really have different opinions about all of this. I can't pretend that I'm not concerned about your beliefs."
"I just wanted to share my secrets. I want us to be closer."
"This isn't going to bring us closer. It's driving us apart. How do i lead when we both think differently? This is exactly what my dad-"
My lips thinned. "You're bringing your dad into this. You know what, I think I need some fresh air."
Levi groaned. "Tamar, this is serious. I can't just throw away what I believe in."
"I'm not asking you to. Let's just talk when we get home. I think I need to rest my head a bit."
Groaning again, he said. "Tamar, you-"
I pecked his lips, and ruffled his hair for a second. "Good night, Levi Caden."
....
I rolled on the bed, finding it hard to sleep. I sighed softly. A part of me didn't want to tell Levi the truth. Instead, it all blew in my face and he ended up getting mad at me. I jumped up from the bed and groaned. I was in a five star hotel room right now, and I wasn't enjoying any moment from it.
I knew Levi was right, but I also knew that I was right too. They saw this as war. Why couldn't we too? They took us away from our homes. I was safe with my family, and now, I'm just as scared for the possibility of extinction of our kind. Whatever hope of returning back home, was thinning out before my eyes, and I just wanted things to be fine between Levi and I.
I quietly walked to the door, when Lyra's voice, startled me. "Don't do it."
I turned around. "What?"
"Don't apologize just yet."
My eyes widened. "How did you-"
Her eyes twinkled. "My exception. Remember."
"Me not meeting him now, wouldn't that change the present?"
She shrugged. "I only saw this moment. Nothing else. So tell me, what did he do?"
"Nothing, he's just so naive with the world. He sees so much good, but I know how humans can be, around things they don't understand."
Lyra smiled. "Maybe he's just an optimist."
I grumbled. "In my book, that's the same as naivety."
She chuckled. "Probably, but I'm sure he means well. So do you."
I decided to ask. "How many number of radiants fighters do you think has died from the hands of the enforcement agents?"
"Lyra thought for a while. "I've been here since this whole district program started, and I would say between 8 and 9 this year alone. I can't really say much about the ones who live on the streets."
"And we aren't allowed to attack back?"
Lyra said. "Come sit on the bed. None of this is decided by him. There are higher stakes at will."
"He may not decide it, but he believes in it."
"He has to. He's a Caden. It's who he is."