saturday nights. dang. everyone's downstairs, and i'm upstairs in my room, listening to music. sad songs, i guess. saturdays suck for me.
i hear laughing from downstairs. the guys are having a great time.
i eventually found myself staring at the ceiling. i stared and thought about my room back at my mum's house. i had painted the ceiling, so that whenever i looked up from laying down there was something to look at.
i imagined it being there. i thought about how ashton helped me paint it. then that changed into him telling the guys to bring paint over so we could paint. that thought turned into when michael got me the paint the same color as his eyes. his eyes.
no. sydney stop. it's so wrong, but so right. i remembered him winking at me with his green eyes. the color of the ceiling. so vibrant and different.
suddenly i thought, i don't care if the room is full of art, why would i look at painted ceilings when i already know the most beautiful color is in your eyes.
sea of love by cat power came on. a couple seconds into the song i started crying.
i guess i started crying pretty loud because i then heard knocking on my door.
i quickly wiped my tears away and pulled out my earphones.
"y-yeah?"
"sydney, are you alright?"
i recognised the voice. luke. i quickly got up and opened the door and threw myself on him.
he hugged me tightly and pulled us inside my bedroom.
i cried onto him, but he didn't care.
"sydney, what's wrong? i came upstairs to take a leak then i heard crying."
"everything's wrong."
"talk to me."
i didn't wanna tell him. because, well he would obviously tell michael and ashton.
"i wanna go home luke.."
"what?!"
"i'm going home, i can't take this anymore!"
"take what? are you getting hate?"
"n-no...i just need to go home.."
i continued to cry and he just rubbed my shoulder trying to calm me down.
"shh, its okay syd..."
"you don't even know how bad it is, luke."
"don't leave us! every band needs roadies!"
"that's why you have your hairstylists, duh."
"that's it, they only style hair. and you're way cooler than them."
"sureee. but i'm not sure about staying."
"oh c'mon, syd."
i looked at him and he did that goofy smile of his and i couldn't help but laugh. he then started laughing as well.
i sighed and swung myself back into my bed. looking at the ceiling was making me tear up again.
"stop crying, syd."
"i can't..."
"why?"
"the ceiling.."
"what about it?"
"look."
he layed beside me and looked at the ceiling.
"what's wrong with it?"
"its just so depressing."
"well, you're laying here crying because of a blank ceiling, i think you're depressed."
"yeah, that's definitely it."
"if it makes you feel better, i'll lay here and listen to music with you for a while."
"if you want."
"i want too."
he grabbed one of the earphones and put it into his ear and we just layed there. staring at the blank ceiling, listening to my lamr music.
i guess we kinda dozed off, and woke up to ashton screaming.
"wake up!"
me and luke jumped and blinked sleepily.
"luke, what are you doing in bed with my sister?!?"
"w-what?"
"why were you in my little sister's room, in the same bed as her, with your arm around her, and you two sleeping?! did you two have-"
"no, no! we didn't do that!"
"then explain, please."
"we were listening to music and then we fell asleep."
"well why was your arm around her then?!"
"i really don't know."
"go downstairs."
luke left my room and ashton just sighed and rubbed his eyes.
"that had better been what happened."
he shook his head and walked out of my room. i fell back again and looked back at the ceiling.
i closed my eyes and thought. those green eyes. that rainbow hair. those rabbit teeth, haha.
suddenly, my door opened. but my eyes stayed closed.
then the person sat on my bed. i opened one eye and saw the person i was just thinking about.
"hey syd."
"hi mike."
"what uh, what was luke doing in your bed?"
"we were listening to music then dozed off."
"oh, well just wanted to stop by and say hi."
"oh okay."
he gave me a soft smile and i returned one. he got up and started walking towards the door and then stopped.
"luke told me you want to go home. please don't."
"i'm thinking about it."
"well, listen to everlong by the foo fighters, it'll cheer you right up."
"heard it before, ashton plays it all the time."
"well, i'll think of something for you to listen to."
"alright."
"goodnight."
"night."
once he closed the door, i layed back, gently smiling to myself, looking at the ceiling.
later that night, around 2 in the morning i got a message.
new message from clifford :)))
check your door.
i got confused. i got up and opened my door, to find a note taped to it.
i got the note and read it.
come as you are - nirvana
pink matter - frank ocean
santeria - sublime
saturday night - the misfits
feel better, love you x -mikey
i added those songs to my "green eyes" playlist.