Chapter Ninety-Five
"What the hell?" he snapped at me so suddenly it made me jump.
I was certain he wouldn't hit me even as angry as he was right now but I couldn't help but jump. His anger was still so fresh and real that I couldn't help but step back from him a little bit. His anger was directed at me and if I hadn't already known this I could see it in his normally beautiful; eyes. He seemed to be shaking he was so angry and I couldn't force my mouth to work.
"Typical your not going to say a word," he laughed bitterly.
I had talked to him a lot recently actually.
"W-wh-what do you want me to say?" I uttered softly afraid if I said the wrong thing it would anger him more.
"Well for starters how about you admit what a hypocrite you are? Let's not even talk about the fact youve been the one so upset with me that we couldn't be friends and now your the one who decided we can't be. No, we aren't going to talk about that. Instead, let's talk about the fact you don't want to hang out but you have no problem involving yourself in my life in other ways like getting into a fight with my girlfriend in the bathroom. How about that?"
He was right that I was a hypocrite but he didn't understand. I wasn't trying to invite myself into his life or start the fight with her. My mind couldn't formulate that response to him so I settled on something else.
"She told you."
It wasn't a question but rather a comment of confirmation for myself. I wasn't surprised she'd told him as I expected she would I just didn't know how soon. I couldn't help but think she'd put her own spin on things when she told him. Right now that wasn't the important thing.
"Of course she told me. You think she wouldn't? She actually tells me things unlike you."
A dig at me for sure but maybe he was right. She could probably tell him pretty much everything without fear. I couldn't help but wonder how she dealt with his anger or mood swings unless he didn't get as angry with her and was able to control his mood with her. Maybe she somehow brought out his softer side. The only thing she hadn't been able to tell him she'd recently admitted. What happened with Miles. Was that the only secret she kept from him? Who was I to judge? Besides he truly was right. Somehow she was good for him and if so he needed her.
"She's good for you don't you see? Unlike me and that's why-
He punched the locker with such force I jumped again and now I wasn't so sure he wouldn't hit me. I stepped back bumping my head on the locker as I did so. "That's not why," he seethed.
"Yes, it is," I choked out.
"You're not helping anybody and your not the hero. It's not your job to save anybody."
"I'm not trying to-
"That includes yourself."
"What does that mean?"
"You're trying to help yourself more than you are anyone else," he accused.
"That's not true-
"You're afraid of what you feel."
"I-
You are. That's what it is. You think giving up is the easy way out right?"
"Please stop interrupting me."
"Maybe that's it or maybe you are so insecure about Melinda you did what you did."
"I didn't do anything but-
"You got in a fight!"
"Where's your girlfriend?" I questioned as I started to walk away and he grabbed my arm.
"Stop it!" I snapped trying to pull away.
"You think I want to see her face red? Or yours because you got in a fight with each other?!"
"I wasn't trying to fight her I-
"I know."
"You know?"
"Yeah I know she started it."
"How?"
"She told me."
"She did?"
"Yeah she tells me things," he said sarcastically.
"Oh."
"What? You thougth she'd tell me a lie or something? Even if she did I know how she can be. But she told me the truth. She made fun of you first."
"That didn't surprise you did it?" I challenged.
"You surprise me everyday Ariel. Everything you do and say."
"I'm not trying to hurt anyone I just-
"You're giving up on us? Our friendship."
"Isn't that what youve done time and time again?" I asked honestly.
"I haven't though have I? Not really. I just keep coming back. Like you used to."
"How many more times do you expect me to come back Zayn? Just to let you treat me like you do whether it's good or bad. Just to keep teasing ourselves like this when we know it's never going to amount to anything?"
He seemed to ponder his answer for a moment just as I had. "I guess I don't. I just noticed you had been and figured you still would."
"I have a hard time not thinking I deserve a lot of things and maybe I don't. Whether I deserve it or not I know we can't keep doing this. I can't do this to you or to Miles or to myself. I'll never be Melinda and I'll never be Lita but I'm not going to be that girl either of you run to when you want to kiss someone else. I'm sorry but I can't do that anymore and I won't do that ever again."
"What makes you think we want you to be them?"
"You need to know I won't be."
"You don't need to do this to yourself I agree. I just don't think you're doing this for the right reasons."
"I'm trying to protect us. That's all that I'm trying to do and I don't know why you don't believe me."
"No Ariel I do believe you. I believe you think you're doing it for the right reasons. You just aren't."
"You don't make sense like you never make sense. I don't know how either of you could think we are ever going to be able to be friends or anything more than we are right now. This fight between Melinda and I? It was always going to happen and maybe it's just the start. She and I are never going to hang out together with you. I'm never going to be your sidepiece while you're with her."
"Damn it, Ariel! You always say shit like this. I'm not expecting you to buddy up with Melinda and I don't want you to be my sidepiece or whatever. I'm not like that anymore and I don't want to be like that. I don't want you to be anyone else because I like who you are. I always have."
Then why didn't you fight for me? Why did you choose her when you loved me? Why did you do any of the things you've done? The words were on the tip of my tongue, begging, burning to be said but I bit down on my lip hard. I didn't want to complicate things further but wasn't I doing that already? Wasn't I complicating things by standing here talking to him? Arguing with him again.
"I don't want to argue with you anymore. I just don't want to do this. We need to get to class," I said walking away from him and this time he followed after me rather than grabbing me again.
My mind kept playing his words back as I walked. He claimed I was attempting to be the hero and perhaps he was right. I wasn't doing that just to play hero as it truly was to help both of them as much as it was for myself. Zayn claimed I was doing it more for myself than them.
Was he right? I didn't think so or at least I didn't want to think so. Shouldn't I be allowed to protect myself from emotional pain? Didn't I deserve that with all I'd been through? All that they'd put me through by their actions? So why should I allow them to make me feel bad and why should they expect it? Something told me they weren't thinking of the pain they were causing me right now too focused on their own pain I had caused. If not others as well.
It did comfort me a little he admitted to knowing Melinda was at fault. Despite this, I knew he partially did blame me for what happened in the bathroom. He didn't want the two of us to get into a fight. Beliving he cared about both of us it hurt and angered him to know we were fighting and could have hurt each other. Thankfully that hadn't happened so he didn't have to worry about it.
The class bell would be ringing signifying the end of first period very soon and everyone would be entering the halls. Then maybe I could put some more distance between us. It was dangerous to listen to him any longer. I knew if I did I might be swayed into giving our friendship with him another chance and inviting a whole new set of problems alongside more of the old ones. I couldn't let that happen.
Besides that, I had others to think about. I hadn't seen Miles all morning and I didn't know where he was. If he'd left he risked angering his dad once more. Something he didn't need to do. Then there was Alec who I hadn't seen. With us both absent he was probably worried. I wondered if he'd question me.
The bell rang and I noticed Zayn was way behind me apparently either taking the hint I want to be away from or he wanted to be away from me. Thoughts that gave me comfort but also brought me pain. I couldn't let these thoughts win. I did the right thing I know I did.
It was better for everyone they'd see. They were upset right now but surely they'd see eventually. I couldn't give in to them or my own subconscious on the matter. There would be no going back now. I entered second period and Zayn hadn't followed me, good though I wanted to know what he was thinking.
I took my seat and Maggie came bounding in a worried look on her face. Liam wasn't with her which was strange. I was just about to ask her when she spoke plopping down in the seat beside me. "The fight is all around the school right now."
"So everyone knows?" I groaned.
"We heard all about it in first period although it was the edited version."
"Edited version?"
"Or should I say the untrue versions? I've heard so many stories of how it happened and none of them were the truth."
"I probably don't even want to know."
"Trust me you don't."
"So what was the worst thing you heard?"
"You fought because you were trying to steal Zayn from her."
"Let me guess. Most of them believed it?"
"Some but not all. Anyway, Liam and I made sure they knew that wasn't the truth."
Wasn't it in a way? At least it was one of the many reasons we were fighting. Just not one of the main reasons I chose to stand up to her, to begin with. Still, it wasn't the whole truth so I could take solace in that.
"Thanks," I smiled gratefully.
"No problem."
"So where's Liam?"
"He said he had a makeup test or something. Who knows. He was still really worried about you and I couldn't get much of anything out of him really."
"Why would he need to take a makeup test in there?"
"It's not for that class."
"Oh."
This wasn't making much sense and for some reason, I got the feeling Maggie wasn't wanting to tell me everything. Either she didn't want to tell me the truth or didn't want to admit she didn't know. I could see her not wanting to worry me but what could Liam be doing I didn't need to know about? Or he wouldn't want me to?
"Ariel?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" I questioned looking for her.
"I should have stopped you from fighting or maybe I should have helped you I don't know."
So she felt bad thinking she should have done something to help? I was the one to blame here and I didn't want her blaming herself or feeling guilty. The last thing I needed was having her involved in the fight as Liam would have been even more irate than he already was. Plus at that point, Emma and Lita might have gotten involved. Two against three were odds you shouldn't face in a bathroom.
"No you shouldn't have helped me and I'm glad you didn't. I shouldn't have been fighting at all. It was really stupid and dangerous and I wish I hadn't done it. I'm ashamed that I did. The last thing I'd want is us all getting into a big fight. We'd be suspended no doubt about that. I'm just glad I wasn't."
"Eric didn't suspend you?"
"No he didn't but when Liam comes in here I'll tell you everything."
After a few minutes, he did come into the classroom and immediately asked how I was. Of course, I worried him again and I felt guilty for doing so. I never should have gotten into that fight. Even standing up for myself wasn't worth the worry I could potentially put others through.
"I'm okay and Eric found out about what happened. He's holding off on punishment for both of us so I can do the talent show. After that, he's going to punish us in some way but I don't know if it would be a suspicion."
Obviously more had been said but I didn't feel like discussing it inside the classroom when Zayn could potentially come in and hear us. The way he was already feeling about both of us he didn't need to hear this. It would probably serve just to make him even angrier and that would be good for no one.
"I'm sorry but at least he's letting you do it," Liam offered.
"I know."
"That's something to be happy about!" Maggie smiled.
"Well, personally I'm feeling a little less excited than I already was."
"That's just your nerves and doubts talking. Besides now you see it's a good idea because you didn't get suspended. So I'll be expecting my thank you from you very soon," she smiled.
"Thank you, Maggie," I giggled.
"Your welcome."
"Now your turn Liam."
"What am I thanking you for?" he teased.
"That I'm such a wonderful girlfriend to you."
"That you are," he admitted leaning forward to kiss her but it was interrupted when Zayn spoke.
"Get out of my seat Friher."
"Make me Styles."
Oh, Liam don't mess with him right now. He's already been mad over something I've done today so let's not make it worse, please.
"Liam just get in your seat. We don't need another fight?" Maggie said undeterred as she kissed his forehead instead.
Zayn rolled his eyes but I thought they were as adorable as always. Then again I was certain she was also teasing him as well but that couldn't be helped. He sighed then smiled at her before glaring at Zayn and standing as she did to switch seats. Once they were settled we fail into awkward silence once more.
"Oh look you four are silent today. I guess I can actually get some teaching done today," Mrs. Hollowell quipped from her desk.
I concluded she really must despise us as we were the only ones she routinely commented on things like this too.
"I wouldn't count on it," Zayn muttered, and there went the silence.
"Well you'd better start thinking about it or you can leave this classroom."
"You wouldn't kick me out," he smirked.
"Try me"
I didn't know about him but I certainly believed her. If there was one thing I knew was that when she threatened something she meant it. I supposed we were due for another field trip around the school with John the janitor.
"So," Maggie whispered leaning into us.
"What?"m
"Guess what I saw her doing today?"
"Mrs. Hollowell?" Liam clarified.
"Shh! Yes."
"Okay, what?"
The way she was looking made Liam and I both curious. Even though Zayn acted like he didn't care I knew he was listening as well. We all wanted to know just what she'd seen our math teacher doing.
"She had a pregnancy test she was going into the bathroom with."
Pregnancy test? So she must be trying to get pregnant. I remembered her conversation with mom during the teacher conference and her desire to be a parent. So maybe that was why she was so ill all the time? Maybe she was frustrated about not being able to get pregnant.
"Oh wow she must be trying to hurry up and go on maternity leave to get away from us," Liam joked.
"We're going to be out of her class before we know it," I spoke gazing over at her.
She was busy shuffling some papers on her desk with concentration on her face as she did so. I couldn't know if she was feeling frustrated or if she was facing some other reason that might be keeping her from conceiving. You couldn't know what another person was facing.
She looked up and I looked back at Maggie. I didn't know what next semester and the first of senior year would hold for any of us. I didn't even know what the rest of this school year semester held.
As class began I kept getting this strange urge that I needed to know where Miles was. Maybe I was just worried about him that he'd left upset. I wanted to get up and go look for him but I had no idea where to look and wasn't brave enough to ask Mrs. Hollowell to go to the bathroom as bad of a mood as she seemed to be in.
Or was it Miles I was afraid to face? I'd hurt him a lot and I wouldn't give him what he wanted. For us to get back together. Could he have broken up with Lita because he thought I'd get back with him or something? He'd done something Zayn hadn't even though he'd claimed to love her too.
I could still go look for him but there was no guarantee he'd still be here. He'd left because he was upset and hadn't wanted to see me anymore. So I shouldn't bother him with my presence yet but I needed to check on him somehow.
If he was here somewhere then he may know what happened today. Who knows what Lita might have told him if they talked? I couldn't be afraid of those things when I was concerned about him. I'd just have to send him a text and see how he was.
Ariel: Miles I'm so sorry about earlier and I know I don't have the right to text you. I just wanted to make sure your okay. I don't want you to think I did this on a whim or that I'm purposely trying to hurt you. I'm trying to keep from hurting us both. Today still hurt us both. I'm sorry but please let me know you're okay. You know I care about you so much.
I jumped as Liam quickly put one arm in front of me and the other over my hand jerking my phone into my pocket. I was about to question him when I realized why he'd done it. He was trying to keep my phone from getting taken and I hadn't even been paying attention I was so focused on typing the message and ensuring I said the right thing.
"Ms. Young? Mr. Friher. Is there anything you're looking at in your laps that's more important than the problems I have on my board?"
"No ma'am," Liam spoke in a voice he often used with Kaylin.
"Good because I'd hate to think your texting instead of figuring out these problems. This is math class you know," she said putting her manicured finger down to point at the empty page in my notebook.
"We'd never do that," Liam assured her.
"Make sure you don't."
That was a scary warning if I'd ever heard one. When she stepped away I mounted a thank you to Liam and resolved not to have my phone out again. I didn't want it taken away as I couldn't hear back from Miles though not hearing back from Jane Doe would be nice.
I was too afraid to check my phone during class although the desire to do was strong. I hoped and prayed he'd texted me back when class was over but he hadn't. I must have really hurt him for him to be this angry he wouldn't talk to me. I'd known by the look on his face he was hurt. Still, it hurt me he behaved this way toward me of all people. He was usually so sweet with me or he had been once.
"Ariel!"
I looked up from my locker as Geroge appeared beside it looking at me with a kind smile. I'd probably be a lot happier to see him if I wasn't going through what I was right now with Miles and Zayn. However, I couldn't turn him away or be rude to him as kind as he was so I'd have to humor him if nothing else.
"Hey," I smiled.
"Are you okay? I heard what happened today."
"I'm fine. Whatever you heard is probably only half true."
"I knew better than to believe the rumors without talking to you first. Not that it's any of my business. I just wanted to see that you were okay."
"I'm fine really."
"You're also still here."
"Yeah, I am."
"You didn't get in trouble?"
"Not yet. I got called into the office but I'm going to do the talent show so the principal gave me enough time to do that before he punishes us. I don't know if he'll suspend us or what."
"Wow that's cool he'd do that for you."
"It really is. I'm thankful."
"So you're doing the talent show?"
"Yes."
"What will you be doing?"
"Singing."
"You sing?"
"Is that surprising?" I chuckled.
" A little bit, just because I never knew you sang. Never pictured you singing."
"I don't really sing. I'm just doing it for the talent show," I admitted.
"So you must be really good."
"I don't know about that but I guess I'm decent."
"That's cool," he smiled.
"You don't think it's lame?"
"No, not at all. When you have a talent you should show it to people. That's just how I see it."
"That's how Maggie sees it apparently."
I looked over to where Liam and Maggie were busy battling her locker to open. I had the idea they weren't listening since they were too focused on the locker. More accurately she was leaning her head on the locker as Liam chuckled and leaned over her to unlock it. They would be here listening to our conversation soon enough. So we only had a few seconds to talk freely.
"She talked you into signing up?"
"She's the one who signed me up and only told me about it afterward."
"Wow."
"I was a little mad but I understand why she did it. I hadn't planned on doing it but at least it kept me from getting suspended today. That's better than nothing."
"So what are you going to sing?"
"I don't know yet."
"Isn't it tomorrow?"
"Yes but I'm going to write something with my mom."
"You're going to write the song together?"
"Yes, she offered to help me."
"That's really cool."
"Thanks."
"So Ariel I wanted to talk to you about what you text me last night."
"Okay."
"I do want to hang out like friends. Meet your other friends if I have to. I don't have long before I graduate and I'll be going off to college. I want to spend time with you while I can. If that's okay."
"That's fine. I just don't want you to feel-
"I know I get it. You aren't ready right now. I respect that so like I said I'll wait until your ready. If you're never ready I respect that, promise."
"Thank you," I smiled.
"Hi George," Maggie smiled politely.
"Hey Maggie," he greeted her. "Liam."
"George," he returned.
"Anyway, I'll let you go, bye guys," he said before turning away.
"He really doesn't want to talk to you when we're around," Liam noticed.
"You don't know that. He doesn't know us that well," Maggie offered.
"Plus he talked about wanting to hang out with us," I added.
"He didn't say that," Liam said in disbelief.
"Yes, he did. He just told me he wants to hang out with me and my friends."
"So you're going to hang out with him then?"
"Maybe."
"Well, I'm not."
"Boo bear," I frowned.
"I don't like him and you shouldn't either."
"You don't like anyone."
"I like plenty of people. I like all our friends most of the time."
"Ariel wants to give him a chance," Maggie frowned.
"Yes but I don't. We have given enough people enough chances that have proven us wrong. Especially done things toward Ariel. Let's not forget how he bullied her, tripped her, and grabbed her."
"Which he apologized for and has told me he wants to make up for."
"Make up for? So is that why he's hanging out with you?" The frown on his face only served to make my emotions feel worse.
"No, he says he likes me."
"He likes you?" Liam frowned.
"I've told you this."
"I still don't believe it."
"Liam."
"I'm sorry, but I can't not look out for you when I think someone is using you. I don't know what to think about George."
"I know you want to protect me but I can't be rude to him. Just give him a chance okay?"
"Let's just get to class," he sighed.
"Liam your so sweet," Maggie chuckled as she grabbed his arm and I grabbed the other one chuckling as we went off to our third period.
During class, we were relegated to doing bookwork and I decided to take my chances and check my phone to see if Miles texted me. He hadn't but someone else had. Jane Doe breaking his promise of course. I shouldn't even look at what he had to say but I did anyway. Might as well.
Jane Doe: I promised I'd leave you alone and I will after this. I just wanted to let you know I saw what you did today. Getting into a fight with Melinda. Not that she didn't deserve it perhaps but good girls don't fight. You could have been hurt.
We had established I made a stupid mistake. How had he seen it? Obviously, he'd been watching but he was not one of these people that had come into the bathroom with us. More likely perhaps he'd heard what happened. He was supposed to be leaving me alone but I had questions.
Ariel: How would you know that when you weren't in the bathroom?
Jane Doe: See Ariel? Even when I try to do what you choose you always want to talk to me. It makes me happy. So do you want me to talk to you then?
Ariel: I want you to answer my question.
Jane Doe: Very well then. I wasn't spying not really. I was out among the student body when I saw you running away upset. Obviously, I had to be a gentleman and couldn't go in the bathroom with you and Liam was waiting. You'd be surprised how easy it is to hide behind a locker. He didn't see me but we both heard everything as did Adam and they separated you.
Ariel: Okay.
Jane Doe: I'm angry at you for putting yourself in danger but I'm angry at her too. I thought of hurting her you know. Then I knew you wouldn't like that so I didn't. I still could if you want me to?
Ariel: Stop it! That's why I stopped talking to you, to begin with.
Jane Doe: I'm sorry I don't want to hurt her I just want you to be happy.
Ariel: Hurting anyone isn't going to make me happy.
Jane Doe: I know but I hate that people hurt you.
Ariel: People hurt everyone. You're going to have to realize that.
Jane Doe: I know.
Ariel: I don't want to talk anymore.
Jane Doe: Alright I'll do what you want.
Ariel: Thank you.
I shook my head looking down at my book. Now he was threatening to hurt Melinda because of what she did to me? She wasn't the only one who hurt me so what does that mean? He'd hurt everyone who hurt me? If he was going to do that then he'd have to harm most of the student body. Surely he wouldn't go that far but he was already going further than I'd think he would.
"Ariel, you okay?" Maggie whispered.
"I'm fine," I lied.
She nodded and turned back to her work. I tried to focus on mine but it was hard. I had too much to think about. I'd just gotten into an argument with Zayn and Miles. Did that mean he'd try to hurt them too? Would he really hurt someone just for upsetting me even though I didn't want him to?
By our fourth period when I entered the gym I still hadn't heard from Miles and I was beyond worried. Adam and Emma were both present and despite this morning I wanted to ask them if they'd seen Miles or knew where he might be. Clearly, he couldn't still be here as I hadn't seen him in his classes. Deciding that trying to talk to Emma would be a terrible idea, I chose to wait it out until class was over. I waited around until Adam came out of the locker room, thankfully alone, and went up to him.
"Hey, red!" He smiled as I came over.
"Hey, Adam. Um, I just wanted to say thanks for earlier."
"I didn't really do anything but you're welcome." He grinned. He started to walk off and I quickly spoke up.
"Um, Adam?" He turned back to me and I saw the slightest wonderment in his blue eyes.
"Yeah?"
"You haven't seen Miles have you?" I wondered.
He chuckled, "Trouble in paradise?"
"Sort of." I allowed, walking up to stand beside him.
"Thought so. I haven't seen him since this morning. He left pretty mad though so was Zayn. I guess you had something to do with that?" He questioned with a knowing smile.
"Kind of but I didn't mean to."
"I didn't think you ever did."
"Well I don't but it seems like I do all the time."
"They both have a thing for you and I can see why but then I can't."
"I can't at all so at least you can kind of see, "I shrugged.
"You look good so that makes sense. It's just looks aren't everything. I'm one to talk with all the girls I'm with but it isn't enough to keep guys around. They have other girls obviously but they keep coming back to you. So it's more than just lust toward you I guess. So you upset them somehow."
"I told them we couldn't keep talking and we had no chance of ever being anything so we needed to stop talking. It made sense to me."
"It still sucks though doesn't it?' he smirked.
"Yes, it does."
"Figured so."
"I still care about them."
"I can tell."
"I don't know if I did the right thing or not."
"I'm saying no."
"So what should I do?" I glared up at him.
"How should I know?"
"I don't know why you would know," I sighed.
"A piece of advice for you red on something I do know about."
"Okay?"
"You made Melinda angrier than ever and if you keep talking to Miles and Zayn, not that you shouldn't but she and Lita are going to keep getting angrier at you. My girlfriend is going to be the least of your problems."
"I figured so," I frowned.
"Adam?" Emma asked as she walked over shooting me a venomous glare.
"Why are you talking to her?" she looked at me like I was trash.
"Chill babe she wanted to know where Miles was.
"Well, he obviously isn't here not that it's her business anyway. You don't need to be telling her anything."
"Ariel?" Liam questioned as he and Maggie walked over.
"Great," Emma muttered under her breath.
"It's okay we're just talking," I assured him quickly.
"Let's cut this short so that we don't have another fight on our hands," Adam said putting his arm over her shoulders.
He was right we needed to end this before something else happened. "Thanks, Adam."
"Yep," he nodded before taking Emma's hand as they went out of the gym.
"What were you talking about?" Liam asked.
"Miles."
"What about him?"Maggie asked.
"He hasn't been here all day and I upset him by what I said."
"That's not your fault Ariel. He should have thought of all that before he did everything he did," he defended me.
"I know but I don't want to keep hurting him."
"You got into a fight with the girl he slept with today and his girlfriend was also involved."
"Who was also your girlfriend, "I snapped.
I didn't know why I was snapping at him I just assumed it was all this stress.
"I know that but she's not anymore," he sighed.
"Guys don't fight," Maggie pleaded.
"I'm sorry but I'm sick of her blaming herself for everything. The bad things people do to her aren't her fault but she can't see that. She lets everyone hurt her just because she's too nice and I'm sick of it!"
'I'm sorry but I can't be mean to someone and I can't be Kenneth. Who do you think I was acting like when I got into a fight today?"
"You aren't being Kenneth and that was nothing like being Kenneth. You were defending yourself and she had it coming. Defending yourself is not the same thing as a man treating his wife and daughter horribly just because he can. It's also not the same thing as refusing to hang out with someone because it hurts every time you hang out. Zayn's the one who ignores you and he's the one who bullies you. Miles is the one who cheated and bullied you and forced a girl to have sex with him.
"That's not what he did!"
"When are you going to see people for what they are?!"
"Guys stop it no more fighting!" Maggie hissed and she was very serious.
I had tears in my eyes at this point for even arguing with Liam. We rarely argued seriously and look at us now.
"Gummy bear don't cry," Liam pleaded which just made me want to cry more.
"I'm sorry," I said tears falling from my eyes.
"No, I'm sorry I shouldn't be yelling at you," he said embracing me.
"I just don't want to hurt anyone."
"You aren't hurting anyone. They'll be fine you'll see. Everything will be okay."
"He said he'd hurt her!" I blurted out desperatly.
"Who said he'd hurt who?"
"Melinda! He said he'd hurt her."
"Who said that? Miles?"
"No Jane Doe. Because we fought."
"Wait so what did he say?"
"He thought about hurting her because she hurt me and he wanted to hurt everyone who hurt me. He said he wouldn't because he knew I wouldn't want him to but if I told him I wanted him to he would."
"Ariel calm down it's okay. He's all talk. I don't think he'd ever do something like that."
"I don't know what to think," I said into his chest.
"He isn't though is he? Because you don't want him to."
Liam was trying to comfort me and I wasn't sure what to think. I wasn't sure what he was thinking either. Just as I didn't know what Jane Doe was thinking and that scared me most of all. What was I going to do? Maggie moved to comfort me as well.
"Let's get out of here before people notice," Liam said joking slightly as he wrapped his arm around both of us and we walked out of the gym together.
"Okay so now you have to focus on the good things," Maggie reminded me.
"Meaning?"
"The talent show of course."
"Oh yeah," I grimaced.
"Let's hope you're able to come up with something. You only have till tomorrow."
"Thanks, Liam."
"I'm sure Luci can help you come up with something," he laughed.
"Yeah, I hope so."
He dropped me off at home and I found I had missed being here. It was my childhood home and I had some good memories there alongside the bad ones. I missed mom and Kenneth on the rare good days he had. I said goodbye to Liam and Maggie as I walked inside. Mom came to meet me with a hug and I could tell she just as happy to see me as I was to see her. Kenneth wasn't home and I figured this wasn't a bad thing. She got out a notebook and pen before turning to me.
"Alright let's write this song."
"Mom, can I tell you something?"
"Sure go ahead, honey."
The look of pain on her face when I told her everything that happened today was almost too much. I knew she'd be disappointed I'd gotten into a fight at all and especially with my former best friend. What happened with Miles and Zayn hurt her as well. I could tell she was really sad for me. She put her hand on my shoulder and I knew she was about to tell me some important things.
"I'm so sorry she said those things. She's not a happy girl and that's why she does those things. I'm sorry you got into a fight with her. You have a right to defend yourself but you should always avoid violence if you can. There's more than enough of that in the world already. You both could have been seriously hurt. I'm just glad Eric is still letting you do this talent show because I can't wait to see you," she smiled.
"Thanks."
"Do you truly think you did the right thing today with Miles and Zayn?"
"I don't know," I admitted.
"Staying away from someone isn't always as easy as you'd think it is. I would know that as well."
"So you think I'll end up talking to them again?" I questioned.
"Don't you always?" she smiled
"Wow mom you really do listen to me don't you?" I laughed.
"I always listen to you when you have problems. That was one of the things Ive always wanted to do if I ever had a daughter. I wanted my relationship with you to be just as special as it was with my mom."
"She was really special to you wasn't she?"
"Besides my friends sometimes it felt like we were living for each other only. She was the most important person in my life and I wanted to be just like her. She was a truly wonderful person and I hope I'm half the person she was and still is. I know she's in heaven and I'll see her again."
"You're just like her," I spoke.
"I hope to be. When she got sick I tried to take care of her as much as I could and she tried to take care of me too. She told me to always be a good person and to always forgive. Those are the same things I've tried to pass onto you. I wish she could have met you because I know you would have loved her and she would have loved you. There's so much of her in you that I used to wonder if you were a reincarnation of her. Now I just believe that you're a special person all on your own."
"I wish I could have met her. I'm sure she would have been special to me too."
"You'll see her one day not that will be when we're all together in heaven. You still believe in heaven right?'
"That's right," I agreed as she put her hand around my shoulders.
"She'd be proud of you I do know that."
"She'd be very proud of you too. You know mom she is important to me because without her and grandpa there would be no you and no me."
"Your right. The people in our lives are always important. That includes the ones we don't always know or remember."
She looked at me knowingly with a smile on her face. I was starting to believe she wasn't just speaking about her mom. Perhaps about Zayn as well and maybe even Miles.
"Thanks, mom,"
"I just know you're going to do great. Now then let's get to work."