As usual time got away from me at the barn and now I was in a rush to get ready for my date. As a check the time I wonder if I have enough time for a shower. The smell of horses doesn't bother me, but I'm not sure on his feeling about the topic. Sadly the clock tell me I don't have enough time. Guess if he wants to continue dating me he is going to have to get used to the smell anyways.
I use what time I do have to at lest change my clothing with the hopes that most of the smell leaves with my barn clothes. Without much thought on my appearance I hastily throw on a pair of jeans and the first shirt I can grab. I race in front of the mirror to check my appearance. Running my fingers through my hair will have to do. At lest I had straightened it earlier and the trip to the barn hadn't caused the natural curls to form. Quickly I apply some make up and once I'm satisfied with my appearance I leave the bathroom.
I check my phone to see if there were any messages waiting. Surprisingly Dimitri has been exceptionally quite. Probably has something to do with this date I'm going on. Should I try calling or texting him? Or will I just make things worse between us? Against my better judgement I call him. The phone rings a few times before he finally picks up.
"Hello," his voice sounds off like he's been drinking.
"Hey its me." Of course he knows I'm the one calling he could see my phone number when I called. "I just wanted to say hi and see how your day went."
"Now isn't a good time." Great back to pulling teeth.
From the back ground I hear a women's voice whine, "Dimitri come back to the hot tub."
"Sorry didn't realize you were busy. Just hadn't heard from you all day and was curious why." Before he can respond I add, "and now I know why."
"Skylar."
"Look you don't owe me any kind of explanation." I say in a rush wanting to get my words out before he could say something. "Who am I to judge you for your actions? Especially since I'm waiting for Keith to get here." Wanting to get off the phone influences my next action, "actually he's just pulled into the driveway. I'll catch you later." Before he can respond I hang the phone up and sense the tears building behind my eyes.
I will not cry over him. The sentence repeats in my head while I fight back the tears. Thankfully I'm able to gain control of my emotions. I take a deep shaky breathe and head down stairs. As I'm walking out the door I tell my parents I'm going out with a friend and I don't know when I'll be home. I have no desire to sit in the house because I need the openness of outside. The walls feel like they are suffocating me. With the decision made to wait for him outside I walk out the door.
I don't have to wait long because in no time he is pulling into the driveway. My phone vibrates in my pocket as I climb into the truck. Not being able to resist seeing who texted me I check and see it was Dimitri. Before I fall even more in to the rabbit hole I switch the phone off. I have nothing more to say to him right now. Plus I need to focus on the man in front of me. He's here and Dimitri is not. Instead he is in a hot tub with some skank.
I can't afford for my heart to be broken by him yet again. He has no idea how much he broke me the last time. How much pain I suffered. Shaking my head I clear my thoughts can focus on the present.
~*~
Keith kisses me good night as I'm about to leave the truck. He's not a bad a kisses and I'm sure if I invited him in he would say yes. But my mind isn't in the game and I want some time alone. Plus I've been fighting all night not to check the message from Dimitri, but I'm only so strong. And I don't want anyone to witness my fall out when I check the message because I'm pretty sure it's him tell me he's done with me.
"I had fun tonight." He tells me with a smile.
"Me too," surprisingly I mean my words.
"Would you be interesting in getting together again?" He runs his fingers along the back of my hand.
"I'd like that." And before I realize what words are being vomited from my mouth I add. "In a couple of weeks Steel Wolves is suppose to be in the area."
"Yeah I heard that on the radio. Are you a fan? I could try and score tickets."
"I am." In fact I'm pretty sure I'm still in love with the lead singer and guitar player. Sadly, he probably texted me earlier telling me he wants nothing more to do with me and those tickets I thought he was sending won't be coming. But I tell Keith none of this instead I say, "I have four tickets coming my way. At lest I still think I do. Would you like one of them?"
"Hell yes! That be awesome!" He squeezes my hand in excitement.
"So that's a no?" I ask with laugher in my voice.
Laugher fills his voice as he answers, "You know it."
"I'll let you know more about the details as the day gets closer."
"Perfect, but I would like to see you again before then."
"I'll have to let you know. With it being the end of the school year things tend to get busy, but I would like to get together again soon." As I give my excuses I stare straight out the wind shield not wanting to see his eyes watching me.
"Not a problem. We'll just play it by ear."
I offer him a shy smile as I respond, "sounds like a plan to me."
We kiss again. "Good night Skyler. Sleep well."
"Night Keith," with my parting words I leave the truck and head inside.
The house is dark as I enter. After checking the time its no wonder why because the clock reads after midnight. My parents were in bed hours ago, which I'm glad about. Reluctantly I trudge up the stairs to my room because I'm still not ready to face Dimitri's message.
Delaying the heartbreak I change into my pajamas and slip under the cover. As I wait for the phone to turn back on I replay in my head the last few days. Where did everything go wrong? We were in such a good place. Out of no where my phone starts to buzz like a crazy person and this goes on for a few minutes. When the phone finally quiets I discover thirty something text messages, twenty something missed calls and like fifteen voicemails. I was only with Keith for about four hours. What the hell? And they are all from Dimitri.
Before I can begin to shuffle through the messages my phone rings and Dimitri's handsome face flashes on my screen. I take to long to get over my shock because before I can grab the phone the call goes to voice mail. Within a few seconds the phone buzzes again. This time I'm able to answer in time.
"Dimitri?"
"Thank God! I've been trying to get ahold of you all night."
"Really? I never would have guessed with the ton of messages and missed calls on my phone."
Embarrassment fills his voice, "about that."
"Where's you friend? In the other room?" Why should I even care about her? The desire to hide under the blankets consumes me, but that would be childish.
"For starters she isn't my friend."
"Of course. How could I forget she's just someone you fucked."
Sadness creeps into his voice, "that's a low blow coming from you." Redness spreads across my cheeks from embarrassment. What is wrong with me?
Better own up to my mistake. "I'm sorry. Your right that was a low blow and unnecessary."
I hear him sigh over then phone, "I want you to know nothing happened with her or anyone else for that matter this evening. Much to her disappointment I'm sure. Not that I care. Especially since I had over heard her bragging to her friend how she was going to score with me tonight."
"Wow Dimitri. That has to be getting old."
"Very much so. Even if I had wanted to get it up my mind was to focused on a certain someone all evening."
"Eww Dimitri I don't want to hear about your you know what."
"I don't know what your referring to." He struggles to hide the chuckles.
"Don't mess with me you know exactly what I'm referring to. Please don't make me say it." I whine into the phone.
"No Skylar please elaborate what you are referring to." He's no longer trying to cover his laugher.
"Fine. Your dick. I don't want to hear about your dick okay?"
"Okay. Want to instead hear about the girl who has me all tied up in knots?"
Grand he's met someone. I'm not sure my heart can handle another roller coaster ride with him. Sure one day he is going to find someone and settle down. Most likely that person will not like the relationship he has with me and she will make him chose. Of course he will chose her its only right. I just really hope that day isn't right around the corner from now. Only time will tell sadly.
Instead of lying like I have in the past I tell him the truth, "not really."
"I promise you do." I can picture his sexy sly smile the one that makes my heart skip a beat whenever he bestows one upon me.
I groan, "your not going to take no for an answer are you?"
"Nope." Unwillingly I'm forced to listen to him speak about yet again another girl who will be lucky enough to call him hers. "I've known her for awhile now, but laity she has me all tonged tied. I write songs for crying out loud, but with her the words are hard to find." The tears begin to build behind my eyes. I will not cry with him on the phone. I just need to hold them at bay until I'm able to end the call. "Then she tells me how she's going out with someone else and all I can think about is fuck she should be going out with me. And only me not some other guy." Why would she do that? Especially if she could have Dimitri. I would always choose him or anyone else. "So, with me being a guy and all how do I react?"
He pauses and the silence stretches. Oh he wants me to respond. Crap! "With anger?" Seems like a reasonable answer to me.
"Exactly. Instead of telling her how I really feel I take the easy way out and allow my jealousy to control me. All because I'm terrified of how she would react if I told her how I truly felt. I've confessed what I thought was love to other girls I was friends with and it has never ended well for me."
"They are just stupid. If I had someone like you confess their feelings to me I would never turn away from them. Instead I would grab on with both hands and hold on for dear life." Did I just say that out loud? His intake of breath confirms that I had. Crap! Crap! Crap! Me and my big mouth. We have just gotten to a good place in our relationship and now my words will rune everything.
"You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that. But back to my story. Like I was saying I reacted with jealousy and put myself in a situation where I hoped she would call and feel the same green monster I was feeling. But when she did everything felt wrong and I felt like a complete ass. So after we hung up I left the party and came back to my room. Where I drank more and was that guy who blew up her phone because all I wanted was to hear her voice. I need her to tell me we are okay."
It was in that moment I realized he was talking about me. "She too was worried that you were mad at her."
"Skylar," he says my name softly. "The thought of you being so pissed at me that you would never speak to me again was more than I could deal with. And so I reacted like a dumbass."
"I forgive you. I will always forgive you." Quickly I add, "don't use my words against me."
"Never. You mean to much to me."
"Since we are being honest with each other I have to tell you something did happen on the date."
"It doesn't matter. Does the thought you being with someone else make me happy of course not."
I run my hand through my hair, "all we did was kiss, Dimitri. Nothing more."
"Better than what I thought had happened. Unfortunately I'm currently not in a place right now for a relationship. So it's unfair of me to ask you to wait or get pissed when you go out with someone else."
"Dimitri after what happened in the past I would have to refuse to wait for you."
"And that's only fair. I understand. Hence why I'm not asking."
"Let's just take this one day at a time. You continue to live your life and I'll live me. We just wont share the details. Deal?"
"Deal. Especially since that's all I can currently offer you."
"I need to let you know I offered Keith one of the tickets to the concert." I reflectively cringe waiting for his heated reaction.
"That's fine." He responds with remaining calm. Too calm. "We should probably sort out the details for the weekend of the concert."
"Agreed."
(What could Dimitri have in mind? Could he be trying to come out sooner? Stay longer? They have started to confess more of their feeling to each other. But he isn't ready for something more and Skylar now also has Keith to think about. Hold tight to see what happens next! Don't forget to like and/or comment. Thank you!)