I sighed and got up and went to Mr. Mackey's office. He was waiting in the doorway for me and I felt my hands get sweaty. This always happened to me near authority figures. I lost all ability to do anything.
"Sarah, have a seat, m'kay?" He said and I slowly sat down. "Do you know why you're in here?" He asked and I shook my head. "You're in here because you've done a lot of not school appropriate things, m'kay? You can't verbally abuse another student, you can't ditch school everyday after lunch, and you can't cause a disruption every day in class. M'kay?" He said and I just sat there completely frozen.
He watched me and tilted his head slightly. "Got anything to say?" He asked and I shook my head. "Your cousin told me of your condition, and you can talk to me, I'm your friend, m'kay." Mr. Mackey said and I slowly reached for a sheet of paper and a pen. I wrote something down and handed it to him.
"Oh I see. That's very common, you see. Only talking to people you trust, m'kay. You can talk to me, you can trust me, m'kay." He said and I shook my head and got the paper back from and wrote something else down. I handed it back to him and saw him sigh "m'kay" as he read it.
"You get scared around authority figures. You mean like doctors, police, FBI, teachers, and guidance counsellors." He said and I nodded. "I understand, m'kay. It's okay." He said and started a long lecture, but I didn't pay attention. I found my mind wandering to someone in a orange coat with his hood always up.
Don't know why I was thinking of Kenny, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. I quickly flipped off Mr. Mackey and walked out, going to the classroom and got my bag and walked out and went home.
When I got in I dropped my bag, went up to my room and fell face first on the bed. I lied there for a few minutes and heard the front door open downstairs. "Sarah!" I heard Kenny calling, and he finally got to my bedroom. "Sarah?" He asked and I raised my head. "Oh, hey Kenny." I smiled at him and he walked over and sat next to me.
He took his gloves off and raised them up to my face and brushed some tears that were rolling down my cheeks. "Why are you crying, Sarah?" He asked and I stared at him. "I don't know." I said and hugged him, my body softly shaking with sobs.
He sat there and let me cry, which was a good thing, cos I don't in front of anyone. Mother always said it showed weakness, and people can't afford to be weak in this world.
"Kenny, if I tell you something, do you promise to not tell anyone else?" I said and he nodded. "You wanna know how I really don't talk to people? Dale already told you that my mom did something to me. She used to beat me, all the time. No matter what I did. One day, I was in my room, singing along go some music I was playing. She just came home and called for me, but I didn't hear her. She came up to my room with a bat, and she started hitting me. She hit my throat a few times, causing me to lose my voice for a while. It was a miracle she didn't break my neck and kill me." I said and his grip tightened around me.
"Sarah..." He started and I sighed. "You don't have to tell me." "I want to."
"Anyway, she was arrested at the hospital for child abuse, and she'll be in jail for five years. It's been two years, and I haven't spoken since." I finished and held him tight. He held me and we sat there in silence.
When I was okay, without thinking, I got up, kissed Kenny's cheek, then tugged him down to the kitchen. But when I took a look back at him, he was wide eyed and wide smiled and touching the spot where I kissed him.