[I wish I didn’t really kiss the mirror when I’m on my own. Oh God! I’m gonna die alone]
~**~
Mirrors. This reflecting surface was made of glass with metallic backing to present an image. Zayn used to love mirrors as a child, especially the ones that exaggerated your appearance in fun houses at carnivals. Whenever he’d look at himself in that chunk of glass, he’d think he looked fine – completely normal. However, as time went on, the mirror started telling him different. It became his biggest bully, pointing out every single one of his flaws, like an inanimate version of his father. He was never good enough. He needed to be thinner, better.
Music from his iHome dock plays as Zayn turns to the side in front of the mirror, checking if he looked okay for his and Liam’s date. The two had slowly reconnected over the week and this date was for sure, no bullshit this time. Zayn sighs at how he looks, feeling self-conscious about the graphic t-shirt he had on. As he lifts up his shirt, he sucks in his stomach and counts the amount of ribs on both of his sides. Exactly four, but only when he sucked it in. “I want it like that all the time,” he mumbles to himself.
He drops his shirt back down and grabs a sweater with Mickey Mouse on the front, the one he got when they (his family) went to Disneyland two years ago. The trip was rather boring for Zayn, but his mother insisted that he go.
Zayn hears his phone buzz, notifying a new message, and he plops down on top of his bed. He checks the newly received text from Liam.
From: Liam
Message: Hey Zayn! I’m on my way, be over in 5. x
Zayn raises an eyebrow because when the hell did Liam get a car? His fingers rapidly type back a response, rereading it before pressing send. Zayn was a bit of a perfectionist with simple things like grammar; what he could control.
To: Liam
Message: OK, ha. :)
Zayn knew Liam was taking them out to dinner tonight. He had to go over what he ate for the day, counting every calorie, every number to see if he had enough room for dinner. He had about ten dry-roasted almonds for lunch earlier, seven calories each, seventy total. He did go for a run this morning, so he had to eat something. He couldn’t risk passing out. Well, a salad couldn’t hurt. He’d just wash most of it down with a glass water, to fill himself up faster with the least amount of calories possible.
He gathers his things and exits his room, traveling down the stairs. His sister and father are in the living room while his mother is in the kitchen, finishing up the touches on tonight’s dinner. Trisha perks up at seeing her son and asks, “Oh honey, are you joining us for dinner?”
Zayn shakes his head. “No, I… I’m going out with a friend.”
She places a hand on her hip and examines her child from the distance she was at. “Out with a friend? Then why are you dressed up so nicely?”
“It’s just casual—”
“Wait, you have a date, don’t you?!” cheers Trisha in excitement, strutting over to her son with opened arms. “Who’s the lucky lad?”
The scarlet flush on Zayn’s face was prominent, reddening in color at the second. “Mum, it’s just- yeah it’s a date. With Liam, m-my friend.”
Yaser averts his eyes from the television to his son with furrowed eyebrows, the wrinkles on his forehead overlapping each other. “A date?! With a boy?!”
“Dear, it’s no big deal! I think it’s wonderful!” retorts Mrs. Malik, trying to reason with her husband.
“Hell no! I don’t want some guy shoving his dick inside my son!” Yaser was at his feet at this point, inching closer and closer to Zayn.
“Dad, why would you think that? Liam’s not like that!” Zayn was getting defensive, hating how his father was making assumptions.
“You don’t think I see all the stares you get?! Every boy looks at you like a piece of meat! Of course all they want to do is fuck you! That’s all you good for nothing faggots care about!” The veins in Yaser’s neck were popping out, his anger becoming far more clear.
“Yaser! Stop it! You’re upsetting him! As Zayn’s mother, I give him permission to go on this date.” Trisha turns to Zayn and coos sweetly, “Go on love, you’re okay.”
Zayn smiles weakly and walks out the door, avoiding eye contact with his father the entire time. Wow, he actually stood up to his father. Okay, maybe not exactly, but he did voice his own opinion, which was a step-up for the quiet boy. He was so caught up in the bickering between his parents that he didn’t even noticed his missed calls from Liam. He sees his date pulled up in front of his house in an unfamiliar car, a cheeky grin on Liam’s face. Zayn waves and opens up the door, getting inside the vehicle. “Hi Li, sorry I took forever.”
“No worries. You look great.”
“Thanks, you do too?” Zayn’s reply was more of a question than an answer.
“Liar!” shouts Liam, laughing afterwards to show Zayn he was only joking.
“How are you, babe?” asks Liam to spark up a conversation while hitting the road and driving off.
Zayn’s heart flutters at what Liam just called him. Yes, it was common, but somehow it just meant so much more when Liam said it. “I’m fine. Um, Liam?”
“Hmm?” he hums in response.
“When did you get a car?”
Liam smirks, his wrist tilting the steering wheel as he explained himself. “I didn’t. I stole it. Just like Grand Theft Auto, eh?”
Zayn’s eyes widen, and he’d spit out water if he were drinking any. “You what?!”
“I’m kidding! It’s my mums,” he laughs, patting Zayn against the back. “She doesn’t know, of course.”
Zayn takes a breather. He needed to loosen up a little. “Well aren’t you the rebellious one, yeah? Where are we going anyways?” he questions.
Liam pulls on the turn signal switch and answers, “Kraves. I love their baked potatoes.”
“Alright.” Zayn scoots his legs up to his seat and crosses them as he tilts his head against the window. It was just dinner. He could make it through this.
~**~
“How can I help you fellas?” asks the waitress, perking up at finally having a customer. Tonight was rather empty and deserted for the restaurant.
“Hi, can I get a table for two?” says Liam, taking the initiative and Zayn liked that. He wanted someone to depend on, someone who could have control and take the wheel.
“Of course! Right this way gentlemen!” she chirps, sauntering down the aisle with two menus. She sets them down at a small table, allowing Liam and Zayn to have their seats. “Can I get you some drinks to start off?”
“I’ll have a Pepsi, please,” orders Liam, looking over to Zayn afterwards.
Zayn swallows before answering. “Water, if that’s okay?”
“Sure, I’ll be right back with those!” The little waitress scurries off to fetch their drinks, leaving the two to chat while deciding what to order.
“It’s toasty in here,” mentions Liam, unzipping his jacket and placing it on the back of his chair.
With taking off his extra layer of clothing, Liam reveals his biceps that make Zayn lick his lips. It was bizarre for Zayn, as he never really had inappropriate thoughts, but Liam was an exception.
Zayn opens his menu, observing the variations of food. Every picture made his face scrunch up in disgust. They were all fattening foods – large numbers. He turns the pages until he lands upon the healthier section, a few salads to choose from.
The waitress comes back, notepad and drinks in hand. “Are you guys ready to order?” she asks while passing the boys their drinks.
“Yeah,” replies Liam. “Can I have one of your cheesy baked potatoes and a side of steak? Well done, please.”
As Liam hands the lady his menu, she looks at Zayn for a response from him. “Can I… I’ll have a salad, please.” He hands her his menu quickly as if no one will think twice about what he ordered.
The waitress quirks a brow as she grabs Zayn’s menu. “That’s it? Are you sure? Love, you’re skin and bones.”
“Yeah, I’m not that hungry anyways,” mutters Zayn, ducking his head down a little. He knew exactly what he was doing. It was his body anyways.
“Alright, I’ll have that ready in no time.”
As she leaves, Liam decides to change the topic. “If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you talk to Luke anymore? Weren’t you two friends?”
All Liam did was change the topic to an even worse one. Zayn could feel the lump developing in his throat. He takes a sip of his water, hoping it’ll help the uncomfortable sensation in his throat. “I’d rather not talk about it.”
Just Luke’s name alone made Zayn shudder. He couldn’t block out the image of what Luke did to him, how he took one of the things he had left. Zayn couldn’t find the courage to tell anyone. Mainly because he felt he deserved it, but also because he didn’t feel like he could trust anyone. Look where trusting someone got him last time.
“Zayn, you do know if he ever did anything to you, you can tell me, right?” asks Liam, his voice gentle.
“Yeah…” whispers Zayn, “What about Louis? You don’t talk to him anymore?”
Liam bites his lip. “Louis fucked up; let’s just put it that way. Sure I did too, but for a separate reason.”
“You don’t miss him? After all, you were best friends, no?”
Liam coughs and shifts the position he was sitting in. “Of course I do, but I have Niall. Well, look at it this way: now that Louis and I aren’t friends, I don’t have to pretend to like Harry.”
Zayn chuckles airily. “Why don’t you like Harry? He’s not that bad?” He was buying into Harry’s ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ act.
Liam scoffs. “Are you joking? I can’t stand that egotistical prick! He’s nothing but a horn-dog!”
“Here’s your order,” interrupts the waitress, sliding Liam’s plate in front of him. She pats his shoulder and smiles at him, her hand rubbed against his muscles. Zayn narrows his eyes at her, whispering, “tart,” to himself.
“And here’s your salad,” she adds, placing Zayn’s food in front of himself. “Just let me know if you need anything else!”
Once she leaves, the two dig into their food, Zayn a little hesitant at first. His salad was topped with too many unhealthy choices; he needed to improvise. The smaller boy begins picking at the pieces of cheese and croutons, tossing them to the side of his plate. His noise wrinkles at the side dip of ranch in disgust. As a child, Zayn loved ranch. He’d smother his pizza with it, or anything that it tasted good with, really. Now, all he saw the white substance as was unneeded calories; useless food.
Liam on the other hand was enjoying his food, eating with no worry. Zayn wished he could be like that, eating without the thought of gaining weight in the back of his head. He loved how Liam looked when he would eat. The way his arm muscles flexed whenever he reached for his drink, how his plump lips would chew in synchronization, how his Adam’s apple would bobble with each swallow. It just looked sexy.
Zayn takes a few bites of his salad, drinking water in between each. By the time Liam had finished, half of Zayn’s salad remained on the plate. “Zayn, that’s all you’re gonna eat?”
“Yeah, I’m not really feeling this place’s salads,” he lies. Zayn was becoming a pro at lying; well, when it came to eating.
“Do you want a box for it?”
“Nah, I’ll be fine. We should go,” recommends Zayn, standing up out of his chair.
Liam leaves a tip and tags right along behind him. They head to the front and Liam pays the amount due before they leave the restaurant. Between the exit and the entrance is a claw crane. The extraordinary colors of the prized stuffed animals inside it catch Liam’s attention. “Wait, I wanna play this machine.”
Zayn stands back as Liam shoves a few coins into the slot, pressing start and guiding the claw around. “Which one do you want, Zee?”
Zayn shrugs. “I don’t know. You can pick whatever one you want.”
Liam smiles when he sees a light-brown puppy in the corner. He swivels the joy stick over in the direction of his desired prize and presses the button to grab it. Luckily, the claw gets a good grip on the stuffed animal and drags it all the way back. Liam cheers and pulls out the puppy, handing it to Zayn.
Zayn smiles and holds the puppy to his chest. “It reminds me of you, Li.”
“How?” asks Liam with a cackle.
“Because you have a puppy face,” giggles Zayn with a pinch to Liam’s cheek. “I’ll call him Chester.”
Liam frowns jokingly and gives Zayn a big hug, whispering in his neck, “Whatever you want, babe.”
The two actually leave this time, heading for the parking lot. “Thanks for Dinner, Liam,” says Zayn with gratitude, his teeth chattering from the cold breeze slapping against them.
“Awe babe, you’re cold,” coos Liam, wrapping his jacket around Zayn for extra warmth and holding him close to his side.
Zayn smiles; the feeling of being pressed close to Liam was nice. He smelled like a combination of mint and sports cologne, and Zayn loved how much taller he was; he felt safe and protected. His whole life, he feigned for attention like this. Zayn was so deprived as a child, and boys never paid much attention to him at school unless they wanted to shag. Liam was different, in a good way, and he was thankful he forgave him.
Zayn looks up at the boy above him. “Liam?”
“Yes?” remarks Liam as they walked over to the car.
“Do you love me?”
“Zayn, you’re one of the most forgiving, kind, and beautiful people I’ve ever met. You’ve got a heart of gold, and honestly, I’d be an idiot not to love you,” answers the taller boy with adoration shimmering in his eyes.
“Well if you love me, does that m-make us, like… a t-thing?” stutters Zayn, the blood building up in his cheeks and causing a ruby-red blush.
“You mean, like, boyfriends?” confirms Liam.
Zayn bites his lip nervously as they come to a stop. “If you don’t want to… that’s fine. I-I.”
Liam grins coyly, snaking both his arms around Zayn’s hips and pulling him close, their chests touching. “Zaynie, baby, relax. Yes, I wanna be your boyfriend.”
“Wait, what? Really?” Zayn was astonished. Did Liam Payne actually want to be his boyfriend? It felt surreal to say the least.
“Yes, babe,” chuckles Liam, giving Zayn a kiss on the forehead.
Zayn shakes his head. “No.”
“No what?” asks Liam with a frown.
“I want you to kiss me on the lips,” whines Zayn with his lips big and pouty.
“I’m fine with that,” laughs Liam with one hand around Zayn’s waist and the other cupping his cheek. Liam pulls him in, their lips pressed softly against each other. As they interlocked mouths, Zayn’s knees were buckling at the expense of Liam’s touch. Liam was actually a really great kisser; he knew how to use his tongue.
Liam uses his teeth to tug at Zayn’s bottom lip, soliciting a moan from the latter and allowing Liam easier access. He gives Zayn’s thigh a tug, Zayn wrapping his legs around Liam’s waist instantly. Liam sets Zayn down on the bumper of the car, beginning to pepper his jawline with kisses. Zayn gasps, holding onto Liam’s neck as Liam sucked on the crook of Zayn’s neck. He smirks against Zayn’s skin, satisfied with the newly formed mark on Zayn’s flesh; a hickey the color of ripe grapes.
As the taller boy pulls away, the two of them pant to catch their breath. Liam takes a seat next to Zayn and murmurs, “I should really take you home.”
Zayn holds onto Liam’s hand and refuses to move. “I wanna watch the stars, with you- with my boyfriend.”
Liam’s body relaxes as he lies back down on the back of the car, next to his boyfriend. Zayn cuddles up close to Liam, his chin rested on Liam’s chest while Liam wraps an arm around Zayn’s shoulder, bringing the two as close as possible. The two watched the stars together in contentment and bliss. This date wasn’t this big extravagant event. It was simple, but they both liked it that way.
“I love you, Liam Payne,” whispers Zayn, following his words with a kiss to Liam’s cheek.
Liam’s grip tightened around Zayn in a protective manner. Finally hearing Zayn say he loved Liam was all the reassurance that he needed. Liam gives Zayn a peck on the lips, making it sweet and savory. “I could get used to this whole boyfriend thing.”
__________________________________________________________
HOLY SHIT ZIAM BECAME OFFICIAL!!!
I’M LIKE HYPERVENTILATING! JESUS SOMEONE HELP ME.
OH AND THEY KISSED!
Okay, so at first I wasn’t so sure about this chapter, but I REALLY loved the ending when they cuddled and watched the stars. It was so cute and a little cliché but I don’t care. SUCK MY ASS.
I’m so sorry that I haven’t updated in over two weeks, but I was updating one of my other stories last week. Also, I have a ZUKE story published and I’d love to get some more reads on it. Please do that for me as a favor, and forget what happened between Zayn and Luke in this story. IT’S FICTION. So yeah, go read it.
HOLY SHIT BALLS, I got 2K comments on this story! Thank you so much! I’m really close to 4K votes and 100K reads also! I love y’all m’kay?
Sadly, this story is coming to a close everyone. Expect only 9-10 chapters more and that’ll be it, unfortunately.
So yeah, if you want quicker updates, be super active and VOTE/COMMENT if you’re one of my silent readers. There’s no shame in reading Ziam fanfiction, boo. And if you’ve been commenting and voting this entire time, keep doing your thing babe.
Dedication goes to @Zayn_is_a_cool_man because she loves Zaynie as much as I do and her comments are always lovely. :)
Comment #ZiamBoyfriends if you enjoyed this chapter. <3
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-Sahar