Claudia's P.O.V.
I didn't want this to include any arguing or fighting.
We've had enough of that in the last few months.
So, when I sit on the all too familiar couch, that's when Josh begins to talk.
“So, what do you want to argue about this time?” he sighs.
“I don't want to argue,” I say, sitting up straight. “I just needed a friend, that's all.” I look at Josh in the eyes. “I don't really have any friends. My so called friends weren't there when I needed them the most.”
“Sounds unfortunate.” he says.
“It is,” I say, realizing that I didn't come here to talk about my crappy social life.
I didn't expect myself to actually ask him this but--
“How are things going between you and Jen?”
Now that I really have been thinking about it, I realize that I've taken so much time to hate her when she's actually a really nice person, that I never really had the time to wonder about their relationship.
Secretly wanting to say it's horrible with her, instead he says, “Great. We really get along together.”
“How nice,” I show a small smile.
“Yeah. . .” he replies. Things are getting a little awkward and I hoped for this not to happen.
“So, um, you live alone now, huh?” I ask, not knowing of what else to say.
“Always have, you know that. You want something to drink?” he offers.
“Sure.”
He gets up and walks away while I'm stuck here looking at his furniture.
I don't really know why I came. Something just told me to. An instinct. A gut feeling. I just felt like I should. Maybe for some closure, I guess.
He comes back with my favorite soda, and I smile because he still remembered.
“Thanks,” I say, then take a sip.
“How's your life?” he asks.
“Good,” I lie, but he always see right through me.
“Still not over it?” I knew what he was talking about--our relationship.
If I lie again, he'll know. Kind of a “damned if I do, damned if I don't” situation.
So I speak the truth and tell him no.
“You know, things'll get better for you soon eventually. Hopefully you find someone. . .because I think you deserve some happiness.”
I was taken aback by this. He wants me to be happy after all this time.
I knew right then what I wanted to make me happy.
At it's him. I don't think I ever stopped loving him. He's all I want.
How would I be so stupid?
I don't know what happened because it happened so fast. The temptation had skyrocketed. I couldn't contain myself and I knew I could have.
It was all my fault. I know it. But at the moment, I really don't care. I don't care about the consequences or how he'll think of me afterwards. I just go for it.
I kissed him. Not slow, but passionate. He was too shocked to move. His words were like what blew off the ticking time bomb.
I missed how he smelled--that certain cologne that I can't remember the title of, but smelled so amazing. I breathe it in. I breathe it all in.
I continue for as long as I could, until I was stopped.
He pushed me away and said, “What are you doing?”
“I--I. . .” I couldn't speak. I missed him so much.
He wipes his mouth with his arm in disgust. I frown.
“This was not what I meant when I said I wanted you to be happy. I was trying to be a good friend. Friends don't kiss each other. Especially if the one friend has a girlfriend!” his voice became higher and higher with each word he spoke.
“I'm sorry. . .I couldn't--”
“What? Contain yourself? God, Claudia, sometimes you can really be an idiot, you know that?”
That wasn't really an insult, but coming from him, it really hurt.
We were still on the couch, and I kept looking at his lips when they moved and stopped listening to whatever he was saying.
So I did it again. I knew I wasn't going to kiss him for a long time, maybe not ever again. So why not? I'm in trouble already.
“Hey, Josh, I brought you--” Jen opens the door with a bag in her hands and witnesses wants happening.
Call me cruel, but I'm a little glad she's here.
She gasped. I never seen someone's eyes well up with tears so quickly.
Of course, Josh did a typical guy move: “It's not what it looks like, I swear!”
She shakes her head and bites her lip.
“We're through. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of all of it!” Then she turns around and slams the door.
Josh gets up and begins to follow her. Before he can do so, he looks at me coldly and says, “What have you done?”
I hear his shouts from the hallway. “Jen! Jen, wait! Let me explain!”
A small, wicked smile appears on my face.
Should I feel bad for this?
^~^
Before you all hate me, please know that I'm a Joshifer shipper forever. Let that sink in.