It's dusk. Things are moving slow. I hear them bickering. He's raising his voice and I feel Mikhails spine bend and shake. Please. Please. Just once. His voice is a desperate attempt. He never spoke this way to him, spine coiled, head bent, begging. I can smell her faintly, she's standing at the edge of the door nails digging into it. She's....intimidated. Of how big a wolf my mate is. My mate pauses feeling her eyes on his back. Jessica. Her body shakes at the mention of her name on his lips and she falls to her knees. Jessica. She was the female my mate had left to get justice for. His voice becomes soft as he addresses her. My eyes flutter open, it's takes a minute for me to adjust my sight. "We're leaving today Mikhail. As soon as she wakes up" a dull feeling of emptiness settles in my stomach. "What?" A gasp leaves his mouth. His voice shaking. Alexandro turns and his gaze meets mine.
Dull ache stabs me at the bottom of my belly. I draw a deep breath biting my lip. Putting all of my weight on the balls of my hand I try to get up, weakness making my frail limbs shake, the pain stabbing me with full force. I've hurt my bones so deep that it pains to even take a breath. His hands instantly reach for me supporting my weight, warmth fills into me. The hair at the back of spine and my hands stand as his shadow falls on me, his touch is like sunshine even in the darkest days of winter, warm in my soul. There's intense need in me to burry my nose into his neck and inhale his scent. I do it. My nose pressing against the contour of his neck I fill my lungs with the sweet scent of my mate. A low growl rumbles from the back of his throat. His hand locks with mine, the other supporting my back. My hand reaches for my belly as the pain becomes too intense and I'm breathing through my mouth. "Easy, easy my moon" he's whispering against my ear.
The brief proximity of his lips has my lips trembling, it takes a moment for me to breathe again. I look at the sun like I do every morning, my eyes closing, letting the sunlight touch my face as I say my little prayer. He watches me with keen eyes, studying every little moment of mine, soaking my form in. When I open my eyes, ocean blue hits my soul filling me with peace, it's our little ritual every morning. "How are you feeling my moon?" His deep voice is gentle as he caresses the hair on my head, eyes analyzing my face. I can't lie to him about the pain, he'll always know. "Better" I whisper and he kisses the side of my head. "I made pancakes for you" he whispers not wanting to let go. A smile curves up my lips I feel embarrassed last night I wouldn't stop talking about how amazing pancakes are. "I'll get them for you" he whispers lingering for a moment I nod my head he pulls away, walking out of the room. He stops for a moment at the door staring hard at someone I can only assume it's Mikhail.
My hands fumble with the materials stocked up bedside my bed I can feel him standing there he's debating weather to come in or not. It takes five whole minutes for him to decide. "Mera" Mikhails voice fills the room and I instantly stop. The little knit hat I'm holding in my hand falls down and I bend to pick it up. "Don't bend" His hand stops me midway and he reaches for it instead and hands it out to me. "Thank you" I whisper eyes avoiding him, putting it into the box I've been putting all my things into, there isn't much just little pieces of clothing I've stitched for my little ones. "You don't have to leave Mera" eyes pressed on me, I feel the weight of his gaze. His voice is filled with guilt. "Please" desperation seeps our of his throat. "I'm going to meet my family after months Mikhail. I'm happy that I'm going" "what about us? Victoria? Me? The children here you've grown close to?" My throat knots up. The sun comes up every morning, it's inevitable for the moon to stay with the light. My time here has ended. I can feel it.
"My mate says this isn't a place for us to be" my simple words has his fist clinching. "I'm sorry for what happened that day Mera. I can never never ever forgive myself for it. I would never ever even think of hurting you" the thought of the pain I went through has my shoulders curling inward. I still haven't recovered from the fall, the pain deeply embedded inside my bones. "I'm sorry" I don't reply anything. I'm unable to. I needed him at that time. But he didn't want to listen to my voice. "Mera-" his hand reaches for mine and withdraw it immediately. Tears fall from my eyes. This is what we've been reduced to.
Jessica is still hovering near the door, her eyes studying me, absorbing every essence of me. I can't help but peek a look at her. She's thin and small with a shaved head, dressed in clothes too lose for her body. My throat feels constricted and her form reminds me of what she has undergone. The agony. The pain. I could never bear the trauma of something like that happening that to my child. My hands absently cradle my belly. She has bruises. Plenty of them, adorning her neck as if jewelry. Her wrists, maybe more inside the goddess knew better. My spine shakes understanding the meaning of them. Her eyes are beautiful, pooling brown of honey, just like his. A mirror image. Her neck bears a fresh claim, I take a little peek at it before she hides it from me.
She looks sad and broken, her eyes red as her gaze is fixed on me. Maybe she looks at me as if I'm that female who'll steal her male from her. I won't. I will never. Why don't they understand this. "It's...ok Mikhail. It was an accident" my voice comes out slow, almost broken. Now I understand fully why he must've ran at once to her. But I still can't meet his eyes. Will this be how it would end for us? Does he still think that I'm wanting to ruin him? The pain in my stomach makes me breathe slowly, I can't move. "I'm so so so sorry Mera. About everything. I'm sorry for yelling at you that day. Im sorry for not listening to you when you called my name. I'm sorry for everything you have to go through because of me. I'm sorry because you're in so much pain because of me"
Silence is what he gets back in an answer. I don't understand why I'm reacting like this. "It's ok....Mikhail. It was an accident" the words are a little hard to slip out of my mouth. He breathes in again, chest heaving, understanding that I didn't fully forgive him but he doesn't push me, he understands that I'm still in a lot of pain pain. I open my mouth to speak again. "I didn't mean what you interpreted that day" his jaw is clenched as he listens to me silently. "I'm not in love with you, at least not in a way you think I am" I say looking into his eyes, then the female. Her body shakes lightly with relief and he's breathing deeply. He's deeply hurt by my choice of words, the tiniest amount of strength that he portrayed now shatters like fragile glass. His shoulders drops and his fists clenches and he holds his breath.
"I wasn't ready to see you like that day. Or was ready to bear the stench of what I fear the most. I wanted to claw my skin out. The closer you moved, the harder it became to breathe. Then you told me she's here. I thought you moved in with her. In a house we had stepped into first. It felt painful. But deep down I was happy for you Mikhail that finally you were with a female who took care of you. Tori told me how she helped you heal from what was left of you. I couldn't be happier. I had prayed to the moon for this. That she could fix your broken soul, that she could fill in all your cracks. That she could give you a home. That she could make you whole again"
He doesn't look into my eyes, his gaze is pinned on my feet, he's listening, he's listening. He's letting it all sink in. "I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me Mikhail. You saved my life. So many times that I've lost a count. I love you and always will. But not in a way like I love my mate. I will always love him more. In more ways than you can ever imagine"
"If he wants me to leave with him I will. He's our path maker" my hand caresses my belly, the pain has me closing my eyes now. I take minute before I speak. "You're such an amazing soul Mikhail. You deserve all the happiness in this wold. You deserve the world for everything good you've ever done. For always putting everyone before you. For trying to reach out to others despite being broken. You deserve someone who can give her soul to you. She can give you that. I can leave with my mate with peace knowing that you'll be happy" water pricks my eyes filling with emotions as I hold his gaze, I don't hide my eyes anymore. His chest is heaving. Words. So many words closed up in his throat. "I'm sorry Mera" he whispers, his voice full of shame. "I'm so ashamed of everything I said. Now even more" I don't want to answer him, I don't feel like. I feel my mate walking in, suddenly and my face flushes with embarrassment, I don't lift my head. How long was he standing there listening to us?
"We'll leave before morning. You don't have to put yourself in more pain because of me"
"Jessica is welcome to stay here as long as she likes Mikhail" my mates words slips in tight words. "She's always welcomed here and we're happy to have have her here. Don't do anything that would make her upset or I wouldn't think twice before hurting you" he shuts his mouth tight at his words. He wouldn't dare to leave now. He leaves the room tight lipped. I close my eyes, my head bent, blood rushing to my ears. My mates gaze is fixed on me and I can hardly breathe.
"Look at me mon amour" Alex's voice is shaking, as he lifts my chin with his thumb, unable to comprehend the words I just spoke. A single lone tear falls of out my eyes knowing full well what was about to come, his lungs fill with air. "Have you fallen in love with me?" His voice is vulnerable. Uncertainty filling his eyes. I'm not worthy. I can never be worthy. His emotions are raw and naked in front of me. The moon makes his eyes look transparent like the waves of the ocean, glimmering in the moon light. My heart hammers against my chest rapidly, I don't want to look anywhere but his eyes.
"I wish words could explain what you mean to me my king" my words come out broken. I take his hands into mine. "For all that you've put yourself through. For all that you've done for me. I don't think that I can ever repay you for that-" his hand presses against my lips. I slide his hand to the side. "I love you more than I've ever loved the moon" my voice shakes as my face flushes furiously with the intensity of the words I just spoke. I'm opening up my heart to him. I hope he doesn't break it. I speak again. "I love you more than you can ever imagine" he wordlessly presses his firm masculine lips against mine and I inhale a sharp breath, my eyes close as his lips moves against mine, hand taking my waist, I feel warmth fill my chest. My hand finds it's way to his cheek and I hold him gently, he's breathing hard as he pauses and looks into my eyes. "I'll never break your heart again Tesoro. I'll die before doing that-" it's my turn to press my hand against his lips. I've never touched him like this my hands shake and I avert my gaze. "Pushto. Never say that." (*Please). He puts my hand around his neck, his lips finding mine again. "Goddess I love you. I love you so much" he whispers breathlessly against my neck, lips pressing into his claim. "I love you more my king. I love you more"
The dull ache in by belly has me biting my lip. Discomfort and pain strikes me again I stir in my sleep, he has his arms loosely around me, nose buried in my neck. My eyes are laced with heavy sleep, I feel discomfort at its max, I take a deep breath, the pain returns again, stabbing me this time, a tear falls from my eyes. He stirs a little lips brushing against my neck, I hear the clock ticking in the background it's somewhere around three, I keep waking up every hour since the snowstorm came last night and due to the pain. The pain returns and I close my eyes holding my breath. Wake me if you're in any kinda pain or if you need anything, ok? He hasn't slept in since forever. I don't want to wake him up.
The pain has me breathing from my mouth now, I try to concentrate on his front pressed against my side, the warmth that's helping me breathe. "Esmèralda" his deep voice is filled with concern, I wipe my tears. "Fück! did I hurt you? Goddess!" He immediately pulls his hands from around me panicking, hands reaching for my face, he's wide awake. "I'm so sorry-" "I'm ok" I whisper pressing my lips onto his hands. "Goddess" he breathes out in relief, his head hits the pillow and he exhales the breath he's holding in. "It's just that I'm cold" I mumble caressing his hand with the pad of my thumb. "Come here" he whispers opening his arms for me. I move close to him as the snow hits the window mercilessly. He adjusts his arms around me as his lips press onto my forehead and he caresses my hair, chin resting on my head. "Better?" He mumbles, his voice so so so deep, it makes me tremble a little. I let his warmth pour into me and I close my eyes, holding his arms. "Never better" I whisper. He closes his eyes and he's drifting off to sleep again. The pain returns and I bite my lip, burying my nose in his neck I inhale lungful of his scent, nerves relax a little. My eyes close again unable to hold themselves up any longer.
The pain stabs me again at the bottom of my lower half which such intensity that a gasp leaves my mouth. My hand is glued to my belly, eyes half open, face wet from tears, my nails dig into my palms, I find the bed empty. He must've gone downstairs, the clock strikes again, it's time for lunch. The snow makes it so dark and gloomy as if the sun had never risen. My belly clenches so intensely that my entire body shakes from the impact of the pain. A moan leaves my mouth, my chin trembling, I'm breathing hard from my mouth, curling my legs to my chest I don't understand what's happening. My hands sprawl across my swollen stomach as I try to breathe in, cold embedding in my soul. Breathe. Breathe. But I can't. The insides of me contracting so violently that I can't breathe.
"Esmèralda" whatever he's holding drops as he runs towards me. "Rebecca, Victoria!!!" He's screaming holding me to his chest. "Hold on my darling hold on" He's caressing my hair gently. Sharp pain cuts me from inside shaking me physically, pure panic filling my bones as I press my cheek against his chest, eyes closing involuntarily, I'm breathing violently from my mouth. Body shaking, I'm moaning in pain. "..... hurts" "There there, hold my hand" he's whispering to me lips pressing against my head, I grip his hands so tight, my nails digging into pain so hard I think I'm drawing blood, he doesn't say a word. My tears are falling hard as another contraction hits me hard. So hard that that it has me crying. Contractions. My body breaks in a cold sweat. They're coming.
My whole body shakes as I throw my head back and whimper, my legs shaking, the contraction comes back harder, so hard that I feel dizzy, my neck and my forehead are covered in sweat. I can't hear a thing. "Breathe darling, breathe, you're doing so good" he's caressing my face, lips pressing into mine, I barely have time to catch a breath again before it hits be again, no no no no no. My eyes roll at the back of my head, I'm pressing onto his hand so firmly that my body shakes, I'm crying I'm crying so hard, he's just holding me to his chest, whispering words into my ear.
It's Victoria who pushes my legs to my chest and I feel myself panicking. My vision barely clears and the assault returns again, this time it has me immobile. My entire lower half feels as if it's been paralyzed with pain. Her hands are everywhere, my skirt is pulled to my stomach. I close my eyes not trying to feel her hands. This time the contraction has me screaming as I burst out in tears. "I need you to stay calm Mera. Ok this is going to take time" time? More time? I feel like I'll die soon if this continues. Oh goddess my back. I can't. The next contraction hits me so hard that it cuts my voice. "Alex" "I'm here my darling. I'm right here" I just close my eyes and burry my face into his chest. My jaw is shaking as I cry, I can't hold it anymore I can't. "You're doing great my darling you're doing great" His hand holds my face, as the other supports my body, he's caressing my cheek as he's whispering things into my ear constantly, showering me with kisses as I scream in pain.
Victoria's teaching me how to breathe I fücking can't someone please tell this woman. My back has such intense cramps that I'm whimpering silently against his chest, his hands are there rubbing my back and I moan, trying to ease the tense muscles. "You're so brave my little moon" He's so goddamned strong even a massage feels like an assault. My legs are being forced apart again, knees in the air, I need support, they're shaking, the pain hits again and I scream, my head arching off the pillow, he continues to rub my back.
"Push, I need you to push" she's talking things that don't make sense. Push? I can't push. My body is curling I can't do what she says it, seems impossible for me. The contraction hits me so hard this time that I can't breathe. My stomach feels like it'll either explode from the activity or I'll die because of the pain. Fear seaps out of my pores, I cant do this anymore. I can't. My shoulders start to shake and a whimper leaves my lips, my spine chills with pain as the stabbing intensifies. My breathing accelerates and tears fall from my eyes, the room I am in is so so dark, snow hitting the windows mercilessly.
"That's it. Push Mera" "..... can't" I'm shaking at this point. "Trust your body Mera. Push" her voice seems distant. The pain I feel now isn't anything like what I've ever felt before. I feel my bones pushing apart by the strength my pup is pushing itself out, stomach convulsing violently, I can't breathe, this is tearing me apart, my hands start to shake. All I see is darkness. And all I feel is pain. My eyelids feel heavy as I try to open them, after a hard fight I do but it's all hazy. Beads of perspiration form on my face, the need to push is consuming me nothing else makes sense.
He's rubbing my back starting to think that might ease might pain, my hand somehow manages to finds his, I need him hold my hand I need him-. His hand entwines with mine, he's pressing his lips against the side of my temple. I'm screaming, back arching, my feet are rubbing violently against the sheets trying to gather to my stomach, tears fall from eyes. I can't bear this. I can't. This pain will be the death of me. I love you. I love you more than the moon.
Staggering pain tears me from the inside, it's tearing me slowly taking it's own time and I'm screaming, screaming so hard that my ears hurt listening to my own voice, I can't feel my throat I can't feel my legs. I'm whimpering, I feel hands everywhere my entire body is shaking it's so cold it's so so so goddamned cold. I can't do this I can't- This woman I don't know pulls my pup in one violent pull-I fücking don't know how to respond to that. Screams of this little devil fills the room but I can't see anything, Alexanderos body is shaking, he's crying. He's beautiful. I believe him. His voice sounds distant and low, deeper even as if spoken at one end of the tunnel. I can feel my pup lying on my bare chest, tears fall from my eyes, his scent imprinting into my soul as he takes in mine, I want to hold him but my hands don't move, I feel like I'm slipping, the pain wouldn't stop.
The entire ordeal starts again. I can't even catch my breath. The deep voice at one end of the tunnel calls me again. You're so brave fiamella. So brave. My eyes roll at the back of my head. I can't thank you enough. Ever. The pain paralyzes me, I'm screaming, the insides of me are tearing I can't do this. Stop. Make it stop. Please stop. My pup is pushing out of me, my little one, it's the same pain again, she's tearing through me and I grit my teeth, I can't bear this. I grit my teeth, gathering all the courage I have my shaking body pushes her out of me. Mera. You did it! Screams of happiness fill the room. I don't hear her voice. I don't head my little one. Where is she? Panic fills my bones. Why can't I hear her? Put her against my fucking chest. I can't see anything. Mera. Mera. Distant voices call me. There's too much blood. I feel drenched. Screams fill the room. We're losing her. My entire body shakes as pain blinds me, my ears are filled with a tinging noise.
Tinggggggggg. The noise that surrounds my senses. Wake up. Wake up. Please. Furious distant screams reach my ears, they're ringing. I can feel myself bleed. It's heavy. So heavy that I feel my entire lower half soaked in blood. Tears seep out of my closed eyes, I want to feel my little one against my chest one time. I want to imprint her scent onto my soul. Why isn't anyone doing that? Why can't I hear her crying? I can feel my pulse dropping. No. No. No. I feel my cheek against his chest, arms around me, suddenly everything is- black.
AUTHORS POV:
"She's losing too much blood. We're losing her" "no. Noooooooo. Wake up! Wake up" Alexanderos hands furiously tap her face, her body falls limp in his arms. A deep howl of agony leaves his lips as his body shakes, hands furiously tapping her face. The thick canopy of her wet lashes remained glued to her cheeks. "Open your eyes sehermatam open your eyes. Please" (*my darling) his pleas are a desperate cry as he holds her face to his cheek body shaking. "Do something, she's turning cold! Please! Please do something!" He screams crying, the veins on his neck popping, his face red from the pressure exerted. His heartbeat slows down as he sees the massive puddle of blood underneath her. "We've tried everything Alpha. The blood won't stop"
No. His body becomes rigid as he feels her pulse dropping, everything stops for him. The scenes from her funeral play in his mind and his wolf tears out to the surface howling, in one swift motion burying his canines into his claim on her neck. Claws dig into his skin drawing blood as he fights his wild skin replacing fur again, licking the wound of his beloved. His body shakes as he holds her tears falling on her face.
"Shift" his voice comes out in a whiplash as he screams into her ear again. "As your alpha and your mate in the eyes of the moon as commanded by her in testament of the wolves, I command you to to shift!" his extreme show of his dominance hits her like a whip against skin, her spine shakes, her soul tears open. He growls grazing his canines against her cheek. "Wake up, my female. Wake up. You've been sleeping for too long now. Our pups are here. You have to wake up. For the love of our pups. For the love of us. Wake up" her jaw shifts as her scream fills the room, he fills his lungs with air.
"Shift!" He screams again commanding her to summon to her true form. Her body shakes under stress, bones starting to shift and drop. "Push yourself out. The first time is the hardest. I know you can do it my female. I know you can. Push out of this skin form and shift to fur. Shift" extreme screams of her distress fill the room, the process extremely slow and painful for her. "Alpha. Stop!" "I can't Victoria. This is my only shot at saving her. Wolves are the strongest when they shift for the first time. Maybe her wild knew she had a purpose. I can't let her leave like this. I can't let her do this to our pups. I can't bear her leaving again" suddenly her eyes roll at the back of her head as as her body starts to jerk uncontrollably.
Fingers stiffen and fold and her head keeps hitting the board of the bed as she struggles to breathe, pain filling her lungs from trying to hard to let the flow of air in. Screams fill her ears followed by defending silence for second as her eyes roll at the back of her head, the pain paralyzing her she feels someone straighten her fingers as her body continues jerking. I'm here. I'm here. Soft lips press against her forehead and warmth fills her in, tears falls from her eyes, praying to the goddess to make this stop. Goddess stop. Please stop.
She feels her bones cracking in the most painful way, skin tearing up to give room to fur, limbs ascending into a form her skin was unaware of. Voices of encouragement fill her ears as she can no longer scream, it's just her howls that fill her ears, fur replacing skin completely she falls onto the ground in a thud, on her four paws. "My female" A cry of relief leaves his lips as he kisses her indiscriminately. "Bring us our pups Victoria. She needs them by her side" the sound of glass shattering fills the room. Anger fills him. "Careful! I'll slice your throat if you cut my pups!" "Alpha I'm sorry" the nurse falls to her knees. "I tried everything I could but the princess-" he could feel the blood leaving his face. "What. Happened. To. My. Pup" "she just wouldn't breathe. No matter what I do. She's doesn't breathe" his knees fold, stomach dropping. Everything in the room spins. His flesh and bones wrapped into a white satin cloth lays still on the table. No.
"Give my baby to me" his voice drops, barely audible. The nurses hands shake as she hands the little bundle to the almost giant in front of her. The most beautiful of all faces meets his gaze. Thick canopy of lashes adorn her large dove eyes, a small button nose with the tiniest of the lips he'd ever laid his eyes upon. For a second he couldn't breathe. It was like he was staring at a reflection of him. Beautiful. Just like her mother. Her skin is however inked with bruises, lips the deepest shade of purple. The princess was a still born. His body shakes as a deep howl escapes his lips as he presses his child to his chest, falling on his knees. One by one everyone in the room falls to their knees. "I'm so sorry for your loss Alpha. I'm so sorry"