Alex’s POV
“Mom! Jules is coming over!” I yelled.
“I thought the boys were coming?” she responded. I read my text I had just received.
“They are; they’re here!” I told her and headed towards the front door.
“So all seven of you in one house?!” my mother shrieked. I rolled my eyes.
“Yes!” I said and walked outside before she could say anything else. I hadn’t seen them in forever.
“Alex!” I heard Zayn’s voice. I smiled widely and ran as fast as I could towards him, tackling him into a hug.
“I’ve missed you all!” I said.
“We missed you too.” Zayn chuckled. I released him and moved on to Niall, hugging him tightly, then Harry. I came up to Louis and paused, thinking of Maddi the minute I looked at him. He smiled lightly and wrapped me in a strong hug. I sighed and hugged him back. When he released me I turned to Liam. My heart immediately started to beat faster at the sight of him. I bit my lip and waved. He just looked up at me briefly and gave a small head nod, not attempting to hug me. I sighed. He was the whole reason we all knew each other, and he was the one who hated me the most. I didn’t even do anything wrong.
“I can’t believe it’s been a year.” I mumbled. A year without Maddi and almost a year of knowing these boys. They gave me a sad smile and nodded, patting my shoulder lightly. All of them except for Liam of course, who was wrapped up in something on his phone. He was probably texting Danielle. That’s all he ever did when they were with me. And it killed me.
It hurt so much to be in love with someone you’re not supposed to love. Liam had Danielle and he couldn’t stand me, and yet, I loved him. No one knew. No one needed to know.
“Is Jules coming?” Niall asked as we walked over and sat on my porch. I nodded.
“Yup.” I said, popping the ‘p’. They nodded.
“How long you all here for?” I asked.
“A month!” Zayn cheered. I smiled. A month out of their crazy lives to come spend with me. I smiled and started to think about what happened in the past year.
The worst thing of my life. I lost my best friend. No matter how many famous pop starts I met, I’d do anything to have her back. I’d give this all up. I missed her so much.
I had reached out to Liam. They showed up at my house because of this and when I asked why, they simply said, “support”. When they showed up that day we just talked… and I cried, but let’s not go there. By the end of the day I felt like I had known them forever. They told Jules and I they’d be back bright and early the next day to spend more time with us. I was so thankful; I finally had gotten Maddi off my mind for more than a few minutes at a time.
They then came back for the last time the day after that. Then they had to leave New York and finish the tour. We all exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch over the next few months. They stopped back in New York and spent two days with us eight months later while they were on their way back home because the tour was finished. I can’t believe they had actually wanted to spend time with me. I knew they met me out of pity, but I just hoped they didn’t continue seeing me for the same reason.
Now here they were, three months later, on the one year anniversary of Maddi’s death. They knew this, and I’m imagining that was the reason why they chose today to come back.
“What are we going to do today, love?” Zayn asked and threw his arm around my shoulders casually. I heard someone scoff and turned to see Liam shaking his head and looking back at his phone. What the hell was his issue?! The others just looked at him and then sent me a sympathetic look. I sighed. They even knew that he hated me. I don’t even know what I did. He seemed fine when we first met. But the second day when they all came back to visit he was wrapped up in his phone. He ignored me whenever I spoke and completely avoided me. And I stress the fact that I didn’t even do anything wrong.
“I’m here!” Jules yelled and ran up to the boys and I. We all laughed, except for Liam cranky pants, and hugged her. I was surprised Jules hadn’t flipped out when they showed up in front of my house eleven months ago. She loved them so much. She definitely fan-girled to me after they left that night and I explained the message I had sent to Liam and how that was the reason they had showed up. She managed to control her fan-girl self whenever they were around though, so they had no problem with her.
“What are we going to do today?” Louis finally asked sitting down on my porch. I shrugged my shoulders.
“I have a softball game tonight, but before hand we could just hang out and catch up.” I shrugged.
“Good with me.” Niall agreed. Everyone else muttered their agreements and we all stood up and headed into the house.
“I’m going to go grab the bags.” Liam muttered and headed over to the van to get the stuff. The boys were going to be staying in the guest room at my house. No one acknowledged him as he walked away.
“I honestly don’t know what has gotten into him.” Zayn rolled his eyes. “He hasn’t been the same recently. And he’s even worse whenever we’re here!”
I rolled my eyes at my best friend’s stupidity.
“Come on Zayn, we all know it’s because he hates me.” I said simply.
“He doesn’t hate you Alex.” Harry ensured. I shook my head at the curly haired boy.
“You don’t need to lie… you all can tell.” I told them. Jules just gave me a sympathetic look.
“I don’t get it.” Niall said. “He was the one that brought us to you originally and now he gets all pissy around you. It makes no sense.” Niall growled in confusion. I shrugged my shoulders and sat on the couch between Zayn and Jules.
“It doesn’t matter.” I shrugged, saying one of the biggest lies of my life as if it was nothing. I shivered at the lie that had come out of my mouth, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.
You know I’m lying Maddi, don’t make a big deal out of it. I thought to myself as the chills went down my body. She was the only that I would have told about my feelings for Liam. I felt like not telling anyone else was my way of keeping it a secret between me and her. That and it meant that no one would ever tell Liam and just make matters worse.
“Hey guys.” My older brother Cody walked in and gave the boys a slight wave. They all waved back nicely as he made his way into the game room.
“So how were your three months in London? Relaxing?” I asked. Everyone including Jules laughed at me. I huffed and crossed my arms and sat back against the couch.
“What are you pouting about?” Liam asked sharply as he walked inside.
“They’re laughing at me.” I whined, surprised he had spoken to me at all. He just rolled his eyes at me and I narrowed mine at him. I really wondered why I liked this boy.
“Well because you thought we were relaxing.” Louis chuckled at me and messed up my hair. I glared at him.
“Ever heard of sarcasm? It wasn’t even that funny.” I shot back and continued pouting. Everyone’s laughs died down and they mumbled their apologies that weren’t real apologies, but I let them get away with it.
“Well this is boring.” Harry whined after a few moments of silence.
“Sorry I’m not interesting enough for you.” I shot back at him, my arms still crossed.
“Woah, someone’s snappy. Why don’t you go sit over there with Liam and you could be cranky together.” Harry put his hands up in defense. I narrowed my eyes at him and Liam just shook his head before looking at the floor, clearly not wanting to be here. I felt my heart break even more.
“I’m sorry.” I mumbled looking at the floor. I was so happy the boys were back, but Liam’s bad mood just really ruined my day.
“Uh Alex?” I heard Zayn’s voice and I looked up. He was giving me a knowing look with his eye brow raised. I bit my lip.
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to go talk to Alex privately.” Zayn said and stood up, grabbing my arm. I sighed and followed him out of the room and towards the back door. He opened it and stepped outside.
“What’s up?” I asked him warily as we walked across my patio. Zayn had been the one I had become the closest with out of all of the boys. Ever since the second day when Liam started ignoring me that is. He just listened to me the most and he was always the one I’d call when I got upset about Maddi. He always listened. He didn’t care if I woke him up at 3 in the morning. He listened, and I loved him for that. Besides Jules and Brianna, he was my best friend.
“Don’t ask me that. I want to know what’s up with you. You went from being all happy to being grumpy.” He said.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged my shoulders and fixed the glasses on my face, staring at the floor.
“Alex.” Zayn’s voice hardened and I knew he just got serious. Damn.
“Listen Zayn, this is obviously a rough day for me. I’m sorry if I’m a little moody.” That came out meaner than I wanted it too.
Luckily Zayn brushed it off and continued to give me his look that meant he knew I was lying. “Alex. There is something other than Maddi on your mind.” He told me.
Yeah, your asshole friend. “No there isn’t.” I lied.
“Please stop lying to me.” Zayn said sounding frustrated. “You’ve never denied something to me for this long.”
I sighed. I guess I could tell him part of it. “Liam’s just getting on my nerves.” I growled. I sounded more frustrated than I wanted to and I started to physically shake. My eyes started to sting and my face grew red. The pain this boy was causing me. I was just doing this to myself.
“Mine too.” Zayn admitted. “I don’t like how he’s treating you. He’s going to have to get over himself because we’re going to be here for a month whether he likes it or not.”
“What did I even do?” I asked desperately, sitting down on the steps that led up to my shed and putting my head in my hands. Zayn sat down next to me and rubbed my back reassuringly.
“Nothing love, he’s just being a dick. For the past year he hasn’t been himself a hundred percent.” Zayn told me. This just made me feel worse.
“Yeah a year. As in since you met me.” I mumbled and leaned my chin on my arm that was wrapped around my knees.
“Don’t blame this on yourself. He doesn’t hate you.” Zayn told me, not even sounding like he believed himself.
“Zayn stop lying to me! You don’t even sound confident in that answer!” I said turning to face him.
“Fine Alex. He hates you. Does it really matter? The rest of us love you to death! He’s just making it worse on himself.” Zayn said defeated. I bit my lip.
“Why did he even come here? He could have stayed back in London and spent this next month with his precious Danielle.” I spoke Danielle’s name with such bitterness I expected Zayn to get suspicious and start questioning me right then and there. Luckily, he didn’t.
“It’s weird too. Dani has been getting more and more annoying and bitchy and less and less sweet like she used to be. All of the lads have agreed that she’s turning into someone we don’t really care for. It seems like she’s dragging Liam under with her.” Zayn said thoughtfully. My heart clenched. The thought of Liam loving a girl like that hurt more than the thought of him hating me. I didn’t want him to become someone he’s not because of a bitchy girl. But it seemed like it was already too late for that.
“I wish I hadn’t sent that message to him. It just ruined his life.” I mumbled and kicked a rock of the step my foot was on.
“Stop that. You didn’t ruin his life. He is doing this to himself, whatever it is. If you never sent the message, than I would have never met you. And that’s a scary thought.” Zayn smirked at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I leaned my head against him.
“Does he argue with you guys when you tell him you all are coming to visit me?” I asked out of the blue. Zayn looked down at me, his brown eyes meeting mine. He let out a sigh.
“Very much so.” He whispered. I didn’t hold back the tear the rolled down my cheek. That hurt me, but I was glad that Zayn had been honest.
“Shh…” Zayn hushed me and wiped the tears from my eyes. He pulled me into a full hug and I let more tears fall and I shook with silent cries. “Stop crying Alex, he really isn’t worth it. He’s not even your mate is he?”
“No, because he hates me!” I pointed out angrily.
“So let him hate you. You still have me and Jules and the other lads… and Maddi. She’s still with you.” Zayn said quietly. I wish it was that easy, to let him hate me, but it wasn’t. No matter how many times I told myself I would stop loving him, and just get over it and let him think what he wants about me, I can’t. I don’t even know why I liked a guy that treated me like trash. I looked at Zayn. A part of me wished that I felt like I did for Liam towards Zayn. He was so good to me and always knew how to brighten my day and make me smile. He was always there for me no matter where he was in the world. But I just didn’t feel that way for him. He’s just a friend. A best friend. And that was how it always would be.
“I wish it was that easy. It’s going to be even harder now that you will be with me for the next month.” I told half the truth.
“You’ll be fine. If he treats you bad I’ll knock some sense into him.” Zayn said and cracked his knuckles. I laughed at him.
“Stop, that’s your best friend. I’m not getting between that.” I said and wiped the tears out of my eyes.
“But he’s in the wrong here. If I have to step in, I’ll step in.” Zayn said and stood up. He turned and offered his hand, helping me to my feet. I wiped my now red eyes to make sure any traces of tears were gone.
“Come on. Let’s go in and make sure they haven’t destroyed your house yet.” Zayn laughed.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s probably too late.” I laughed with him and we walked towards the house together.
Liam’s POV
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to go talk to Alex privately.” Zayn said and stood up, grabbing her arm. She sighed and followed behind him, her head hanging low. It looked she was going to cry.
I looked away and stared at the floor. I hated this. Every time we saw her it was like she became better and better to be around. I wanted to be able to forget about her whenever we weren’t with her, but I couldn’t. This damn girl has been haunting my thoughts for the past year.
When I first got the message from her, I always found myself thinking about her. At rehearsals, at signings, when I was with the lads or Dani. It was as if I wasn’t allowed to forget that she was suffering. I know I am known to be the one who always wants to help and what not, but this was a little ridiculous. I knew I could never bring her friend back, and that’s what sucked the most. I couldn’t make it better for her.
Finally, I gave in and told the boys about the message. Zayn was the one who suggested to go and visit her while on tour and I agreed without a second thought. Now however, I was split on whether or not to think that that was the best or worst decision of my life. When I met her that day and she fell into my arms, it felt like something new had completely taken control of me. It was only me and her there. I had to be there for her because she needed me.
The rest of the boys and I spent the day and had gotten to know her. She was such an amazing person. She didn’t deserve what had happened to her. Same thing with her friend Jules, but there was something about Alex that made me feel… conflicted.
When we headed back to the hotel that night Zayn and Harry discussed how great of a person the both of them were and how they looked forward to becoming really close with her.
Then Louis spoke up and made me rethink everything.
“She’s quite beautiful too.” He had said, referring to Alex. He went on to say that Jules was quite attractive as well, but when he said it about Alex something clicked. Anger, longing… jealousy? It all made me want to throw a brick at a wall. Then I started to get on myself about it.
Your letting yourself get too close to her Liam. My conscious had warned me. You’ve only known her for a day and look at how you’re feeling. You have Dani and a career to worry about. She just lost her best mate. Nothing good can come of this.
I had thought a lot that night. I told myself I was only feeling guilty for what she was going through and that she was just someone I wanted to get to know better and be friends with. Then we got in the car the next morning, and I second guessed myself. The thought of seeing her again made me feel anxious, in both a good and a bad way. We pulled up to her house and she answered the door, wearing baggy sweat pants and a plain t-shirt. I knew I couldn’t do this. Not to her, not to me.
So ever since then I did my best to ignore her. Ignore the way she made me feel. I surrounded myself with Dani, and things that made me think of her whenever Alex appeared in my head or I was around her. Which seemed to be often. I was always texting Dani whenever the lads and I went to visit her, but even if I texted her every second, knowing that Alex was sitting in the room still got to me.
Whenever I was told that we were going to go see her, I got so angry and confused and excited. I always ended up yelling at them, telling them we shouldn’t go and get distracted from work. But they all argued back and said that she was their friend and they were going with or without me. I knew I had to go with them. One, people would wonder why I was the only one where we were supposed to be out of the five of us, and two, because I would never get over the fact if I missed out on a chance to see her. Even if I spent the entire time avoiding her and being an asshole in the process… I still liked the idea of seeing her. Then I’d get there and regret it the minute that she walked into view and I’d lose my focus.
When we came here for the month I almost didn’t come. A whole month of arguing with myself. A whole month without Dani to remind me on how my life really was and had to be. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to make it through without falling apart.
Now here I was, barely an hour into it all, and I already felt like shit. The look on her face when she saw all of us made me smile, but I hid it immediately. Then she gave everyone hugs and I immediately opened a new text to Dani, wanting to avoid hugging her. It worked. I knew she didn’t want to hug me either way because we had barely spoken since the first day. And when we did speak, I was being an asshole to avoid any real conversation starting and making me lose all of my concentration for that day.
I thought about how close she and Zayn had gotten. She definitely had a thing for him. I found myself to be bitterer towards him too recently. Especially when she was around or on my mind, which again, was often. I felt bad. I was being a complete dick to all of the people in my life that I really cared about. Except Dani, but she was starting to get on my nerves. Ever since her lack of patience when I first read the message that Alex had sent me, I had been finding her really annoying, and it’s been taking a lot to give me a reminder or a reason on why I’m with her.
Zayn and Alex walked back into the room, hand in hand. My jaw clenched and I felt fury bubble inside of me. Why on Earth were they holding hands?!
“You alright love?” Harry asked and patted his lap, indicating for her to sit on it. She let go of Zayn’s hand and happily took a seat on Harry’s lap smiling and leaning her head on Louis’s shoulder who was sitting besides Harry and propped her legs up on Zayn’s lap who had taken a seat on the other side of Harry. She ran a hand through Niall’s hair who was sitting on the floor in front of the couch. He chuckled as she continued playing with his hair. Jules started laughing at Alex’s comfort level with everyone. I clenched my fists and saw my knuckles become white. She was all over all of them! All four of my best mates.
Except me.
I stared at her, the smile on her face telling me that she was perfectly happy with her position. Her eyes met mine and they narrowed. I could see the bitterness in her eyes as she cuddled up closer to all of the boys.
“Yup. I’m much better.” She responded before breaking eye contact with me. I stood up abruptly and marched out the front door, finding it hard to breath in that room. I pulled up my hood and put my shades on and walked down the street.
I needed to get out of there.
Things picking up. Hope you enjoy
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