35
always been you
weeks passed and the incident, heart breaking moment that happened hunts you every night. those memories and words kept on flashing back no matter where you go and what you do. the way how the other people made fun of you for being a fool and let yourself believe that someone like him would literally like you, you're embarrassed and filled with regrets because of your mistake. he is your mistake.
how could you make yourself believe that two years with him would actually be taken serious by someone who only knows how to play every girl's heart who's into him. him including his friends took advantage of your feelings for him. you knew this would happen but every time you thought of leaving him like he could sense it, he would do something sweet or something you couldn't resist because he knows how weak you are when it comes to him and it was your mistake that you let it all happened in your life that the pain was getting worse as the day goes by.
he never loved you, y/n. are you seriously that dumb?
other comments that you received kept rushing in your mind all at once that made you fell down on your knees and cry it all out. you're somehow satisfied now that school is over and you won't be hearing anything about it anymore. it's nothing new ever since he broke up with you when you have the rights to leave him at the first place but you just couldn't, you love him. you wholeheartedly do and it sounds better if he acted like he loved you, it will somehow help you get over him because you knew for sure you were attracted to him for years and it needs to come to an end. you finally experienced what it felt like to be his girlfriend but in a worse way- it's fine. everything is going to be better as long as you accept that it's all over. just acceptance. the fact that he's no longer yours and all of it was just a joke, only for him though because you and him both knew that you never faked any of it. he knows it, he felt it.
"y/n?" hearing a muffled voice suddenly stopped your thoughts and became nervous for hearing your name being called by someone you can't tell who it was. slowly walking towards the door and wait for that person to talk again, you grabbed the doorknob but remained it placed against it.
"it's me, taehyung." you sighed in relief and opened the door right away, leaving a space for him to get in. he remained standing in front of you with wide eyes and you just realized that your eyelids felt heavy and your cheeks are stained with tears. quickly wiping the evidence of you crying which he already caught, he went inside and held both of your wrist.
"i'm really sorry for what my friend did." staring on his eyes that showed nothing else but pity, you sighed and nodded once before letting your wrists go that's held by his grip. he followed you all the way to the living room, you let him sat on the couch and even told him to make himself feel at home while you go to the kitchen to get some water.
"do you want anything?" you looked behind your back but you're too late to realize that he's already with you and his hands are placed inside his pockets.
"no, i'm fine but about that, i want to ask you if you're willing to go with me at Lisa's party tonight."
"it's her birthday, remember?" you placed the glass on the table and nodded once, not even looking at him since he would be only seeing pain and madness, it's easy to tell. with how she lied for the reason she didn't want you to get hurt, those two are mixing whether you wanted to forgive her with what she did. deep down in you heart, you do realize that she's still your friend after all. she was too scared to tell you the truth that's why she hid it for herself, she was too scared to hurt you because she knows how much you loved jimin for years and it's now what you're comprehending even more, you do understand her side.
"of course i do, why wouldn't i?" a forced smile curved on your lips, he did the same and pulled you into a hug. it was warm, relaxing and it almost felt like home- the feeling of being safe and sound. it all could be felt just within his hug and you didn't want to let go but time is ticking, you remembered you don't have much to wear since you only go shopping when you're with lisa, your best friend. she's still your best friend.
"do you mind accompanying me while i shop for some clothes to wear tonight?" you looked up just to be greeted with the box smile that makes every girl's heart flutter, you even felt yours too while a pit grew in your stomach. he's really attractive up-close.
"is that a yes?" teeth against with each other as you waited for his answer, he rolled his eyes and nodded which made you jump in excitement and hugged him tightly. seconds later, you felt his arms being wrapped around you. the scent of his was really lingering and addictive that you didn't even want to break the hug but when you did so, a shade of pink coated his cute and puffy cheeks while he was uncontrollably smiling.
"cute." you mentioned while you poked the tip of his nose gently before going to your room to get changed.
j i m i n
"are we really going to her party?" jungkook asked while he's searching for clothes that would make every girl he passed by drool over him. nothing new, he's titled as the international playboy. he really is, not me anymore right after i met y/n. something about her with those two years blinded me from finding other girls pretty when she's the prettiest girl i ever laid my eyes on. everything about her is so addicting that ever since i broke up with her, the most stupid thing i've ever done, i kept wanting for her presence and every bit of her is what i'm missing every fucking day.
"she's our friend, pabo." suga replied plainly, always as cold as ice. i checked the time and realized it was too early, i called jungkook and asked him a favor.
"check y/n if she's in her house and look after her, stay there for at least an hour." my heart ached and i barely even said her name without getting my heart tortured, i miss my baby and it's driving me hella insane that it turns into anger because there's not even a thing i can do about it, it was all my fault and she probably hates me already and doesn't even want to see my face.
"tell me what she's doing, if she has someone ne-" my jaw tightly clenched with my own words. the thought of her being with someone makes me want to rip that guy's head off or at least beat the shit out of him until he's flooded with his own blood. sounds impossible for me to do it but i definitely will once i found out.
"just fucking go over there and tell me everything." he looked shock with my words while suga looks unbothered and busy cleaning his gun.
"but i thought you left her because you didn't lo-" i took a deep breath and compiled all my anger in my hands that's balled into a fist, not even wanting to punch him in the face. not right now that i miss her and i want to know how she's doing.
"just do me a damn favor if you don't want me to use the fucking gun that suga's cleaning and shoot it right in front of your face." my eyes finally opened since i received no response, his presence is now gone as i looked over my shoulder and asked suga where he is.
"doing your favor before you even use my gun that i just cleaned." the both of us chuckled with his reply, shaking my head as i waited to receive a call from him.
"she's going somewhere," jungkook said while he's watching over y/n through his car that's probably parked few houses away from hers. i drank the glass filled with whiskey.
"i noticed that she's no longer wearing the bracelet you gave her." those words hurted me that it turned into madness all of a sudden, it sounded and felt so bitter that i don't want to hear it anymore.
"of course she wouldn't be wearing it anymore. we're over, piece of shit." i heard suga's chuckle behind me which i completely ignored and focused talking to him, hoping that his dumbness isn't contagious because i would kill myself if it was.
"that's why she's not leaving alone." my eyebrows knotted and i felt my blood started to boil, i knew this was possible to happen. all i know is that i am spitting numerous curses and the loud noise that he just heard was my knuckles punching the wooden door that leaves a blood and a hole in it. numbness took over my body that my knuckles dripping with blood didn't even hurt me since the pain in my heart was much stronger.
"who is she with?" i asked through gritted teeth and i know he's getting nervous because he knows how scary i am when i'm mad. no one gets to have my baby, she's forever mine and as long as i'm breathing, i'll make sure of that. i heard him shifted on his seat to at least get an angle.
"i couldn't tell but he looks familiar, they're leaving." he rushed his own words and movements to start following them secretly.
"make sure to keep an eye on them and tell me everything what you saw once i get there. text me the address right after." i ended the call and ran over the kitchen to wash the blood away, it was the only time that i felt the pain which made me groan and grit my teeth. a curse involuntarily escaped my lips while i wiped the excess with a tissue before getting my car keys.
"the fuck you staring at? are you going with me or not?" suga rolled his eyes while he shook his head with my question which made my blood boil even more with his attitude. i don't have enough time to deal with any of those.
"do you want your house to get robbed? you just made a hole in your door, dumbass." glancing behind me was my front door having a whole and just realized how big it was, an arm could fit in there and look for the door knob to unlock it. i groaned in annoyance and kicked the door, opening it wide enough for me to leave.
jungkook is standing next to me while y/n is too busy to pay attention in her surroundings when the person she's with is making her laugh while she picks up some clothes and cover it in front of her, asking for some opinion on which one looks better when she always look at her best and it hurts that it's supposed to be me she's with. the guy who's facing his back on us makes me want to kick him right away and take all of my anger out on him but i don't want to cause a scene here at the mall. it seems like she's very close with him that's why if ever i did it, it will only make her hate me even more.
i didn't even noticed that she's paying in the counter but the guy she's with grabbed her hand and payed for her. jungkook is watching also and he knows how much i hated it when other guys touch her or even do what's my job, my responsibility. i don't know why but she just makes me so possessive and it sounds selfish but i don't care, she's mine. she'll always be. the small movement i did made him barricade me with his arms and told me to calm down and just watch them because after all it was my fault. it really is.
they turned around and fuck i almost lose myself when i saw who is she with- the person that i trusted and considered as a fucking friend is now reclaiming her. my breathing pattern was uneven and even the air that's making a contact with my knuckles that has a cut open didn't hurt me due to the anger that's coating every bit of my body. my mind is filled with thoughts of hurting him badly but it soon faded away when i saw how he stared at her with a smile on his face. i noticed that she is blushing while they exchange gazes like they're in love with each other. i was so fucking mad but with what i'm witnessing, it all turned into pain, so much pain that has nothing to be compared with my past. it was too much that it already weakens me.
"go ahead and curse him all that you want- beat the fuck out of him but jimin,"
"she hates you for what you did and if she got to choose, it's going to be taehyung. not you."
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had to post just for u guys, sml