Hello wonderful people! As promised here is this week's update of Memory! So glad to be back on weekly updates :) The song for this chapter is Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran , a song he sings beautifully live in concert, btw ;) Enjoy! xxx
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Harry's POV
"I-I love you, Bree," my words come out before I even get a chance to fully process them in my own mind, though they are absolutely, 100% true. I am completely, truly, madly, deeply in love with this girl. It took me a while to grasp at first, but the deeper I fell, the harder I felt the pull she had on me, which is what made every part of this so damn difficult.
"Yeah, I'm really going to believe that now after you lied to me for four fucking months!" She laughs, actually fucking laughs right in my face and it feels as if swords are being pierced through my heart. Well, that is in no way how I pictured her response being when I confessed my love for her.
She is enraged, steaming mad in a way that I have never seen her before. I usually find it cute when she gets all red-faced and angry, but this, this is something else entirely. It is a sight that both pains and repulses me at the same time. A face I never wish to see again. It's the face of anguish.
"You know what? I hope you rot in your fucked up little hell hole of a life because let me tell you something, no one, and I mean no one, will ever love you, me included. You are a disgusting human being and I can't believe I ever wasted my time getting to know you. Goodbye, Harry." And with the that, she storms off, leaving me alone in a bubble full of my own regret and sorrow.
If only she knew that saying this to her and ending things in this way is breaking my heart just as much as it's breaking hers. If only she knew the truth.
I wake up in a sweat, tangled in my sheets as the door to my bedroom opens and light from the hallway floods in, stinging my squinted eyes.
"Jeez man, it's nearly three o'clock in the afternoon, are you serious?" Louis comes barging into my room, uninvited. I groan as he takes a seat at the foot my bed, attempting to shield my eyes with my sheets.
"I'm worried about you bro, you're a mess. You're skipping all your classes, you've barely left your room let alone your house, and you smell like fucking horse shit." He exclaims. Louis was never one to sugarcoat anything. "Look, we all know what happened with Bree but dude, you've never been like this with a girl before, what's up?"
I don't reply. I just stare at him blankly, willing him to leave and allow me to return to my midday slumber and the dreams of Bree that haunt me.
What's up? Maybe I just unwillingly dumped the potential love of my life against my own free will and now she hates me and has basically cursed me to live a life alone, but other than that nothing much. I quietly think in my head.
He stays firm though and continues to express his concern.
"Come on Haz, apparently Bree is doing fine." Now this catches my interest.
"You talked to her?" I question, my voice coming out cracked and raspy due to my lack of verbal communication the last few days.
"No, but El says she's at least going to school and keeping up with personal hygiene, which is twice more than you." How can she not be affected by this? Shouldn't she be the one sulking in her room? I was the one who dumped her, not the other way around, as far as I can remember. What the hell is happening to me?
"Come on dude, Liam and I are headed to the campus bar for a couple rounds, you should come with. After you've cleaned yourself up, of course, because I sure as hell am not being seen out in public with you looking like that." He scrunches up his nose in disgust.
I really don't feel like it. Right now, all I feel like doing is lying in this bed and continue on doing what I've been doing for the past week, sulking. I know it may seem pathetic but nothing seems to matter to me anymore. Not my image, not school, not anything but Bree and the fact that I quite possibly lost her forever.
However, I know that if I don't agree to it this time, Louis will just continue to pester me with other offers to initiate socialization and to get me back to my routine, just as he has been trying to do for several days now. And to be honest, I could use a drink to help numb my mind.
"Fine, I'll get ready and meet you there in a couple hours." I groan and his face lights up like a Christmas tree. He seems content with my reply as he promptly strips my covers away from me and heads out the door. Well, I guess there's no backing out now.
...
"Another round for my friend here, Sal!" Louis calls across the counter to the middle-aged bartender. He grunts in affirmation as he grabs the bottle of whiskey from the shelf and fills another glass before sliding it down.
Three drinks down the pipe and I still don't feel any better. Her face still plagues my thoughts, her voice whispering in my ear. I am still haunted by the pain in her eyes as I uttered all those meaningless lies to her. What was I thinking?!
In all of this, I am reminded that it is for the best. I know that and her father knows that, which is why he warned me to stay away. I tried to, I really did at first. After I found out who she was, I tried to back off but something about her just couldn't keep me away. I got pulled in until it was too late, and now I suffer the aftermath.
"Glad to have you back, mate! We were really getting worried there." Liam says as he downs a shot.
The room is filled with legal-age college students, most from UCLA. This is the campus' main bar, and a popular hangout for it's students. I almost never see a person over the age of thirty in here, besides the bartender, so most of their business is brought in by us. It's a quaint little place, great for a drink with the boys or for scoping out great one-night stands. Though, I'm not really up for that tonight.
"I told you I could get him out his weird hibernation." Louis remarks proudly, patting me on the back.
"Yeah well, don't get used to it." I mumble as I finish the glass and motion for another. The alcohol is slowly making it's way through my system, making it more and more bearable to be sitting here instead of being in my room dreaming about her.
"Come on dude, don't be like that. We all know you're relieved we got you over that god awful breakup spell you were in." Louis laughs, though I don't find it particularly funny.
"Yeah man, I've never seen you so...affected before. Looks like Bree caught quite a hold on you, eh?" Liam adds in and they both chuckle in response as I begin to grit my teeth.
"Full on whipped over that girl is what he is." Louis chortles another laugh and I reach my breaking point.
"Would you two just shut it?!" I burst, slamming my empty glass on the counter. Some heads turn at the boom but I ignore them, angry eyes staring down the two jabbering idiots.
"Whoa, mate relax! We were only joking." Liam says with his arms up in front of him in defense, though they wouldn't do much for him if I decided to sock him in the throat right now.
"Yeah, Haz. We're here to help you." Louis pats my shoulder and I quickly shrug it off. "We brought you here tonight not only to cheer you up with booze, but to set you up with a little something to get your mind off of it." He winks at me before signalling off to a couple of girls sitting in a booth in the corner. Well this is just great.
Though I wouldn't have any objection to it a couple months ago, the thought of entertaining a bunch of random girls at a bar does not seem too appealing right now. It's bad enough I have to put up with listening to these two, I'm not about to listen to a most likely drunk girl drone on about her life problems.
"Harry, this is Becky, Maria and...what's you're name again, sweetie?" Louis asks the petite little blonde beside the two brunettes that approach us at the bar.
"It's Cara." The girl chirps up in a preppy way that comes off as slightly annoying. She stand a bit taller than the other two with long straight dirty blonde hair, though she looks to be half the size. Does this girl eat?
"Lovely name!" Louis exclaims, turning on his usually charm for luring ladies in. I'm surprised he hasn't lost it after being with Eleanor for so long. "Why don't you ladies have a seat?" He offers as the girls sit around the bar with us, the blonde taking the stool right next to mine.
"Harry here has been having a rough couple of days, so we were hoping you girls could maybe cheer him up a bit, yeah?" Liam explains before ordering the bartender to fetch drinks for the girls. They reply with the typical school girl giggles which forces me to order up another glass of whiskey. I'm gonna need it to get through the next few hours of this.
"So, are you a student at UCLA as well?" The blonde ask as she takes a sip of her pink girly drink. That's a pretty stupid question considering that basically everyone here under the age of thirty is from the university but I try not to patronize the girl.
"Yup," I reply, completely uninterested in initiating any form of conversation with the girl. Normally, I would at least try to put in a bit of an effort seeing as the girl is clearly attractive, but tonight, I am just not in the mood.
"Me too!" The girl pipes, bringing back that annoying tone in her voice that makes me want to groan. "It's my first year here. My sister, Becky, is graduating this year and is in some classes with Louis." She explains, though I am only really half-listening. She's a freshman? Like Bree.
"Cool." I give her a tight-lipped acknowledgement smile before downing my glass and asking for another.
"Yeah, it's great having her in the same university as me. She sneaks me into all the bars and clubs with her sometimes." You've got to be kidding me. This girl is not even legal? Then again, Bree isn't either, so it's not really a surprise seeing as she is also a freshman.
Even now, talking with this beautiful girl who is obviously interest in me, all I can seem to think about is Bree. What is she doing right now? What is she thinking? Is she thinking of me?
I check my phone and assume that she is probably at work right now just about finishing her shift. I should be there, picking her up. I silently debate actually getting in my car right now and driving to Starbucks to give her a ride home, though I doubt she would even allow me to. God, this is killing me.
The girl continues to babble on about useless facts about her life and how much she loves going to UCLA and all that while I just nod and stare at her mindlessly, wishing she was Bree.
After what feels like hours listening to this girl ramble, Louis and Liam get up and I see that as a cue that we can finally leave. Thank God.
"Well ladies, this has been really fun. Unfortunately Liam and I have to head off to pick up our girlfriends now." Louis announces gallantly and I stand to pick up my coat. "Not to worry, though. Harry is staying." He adds and my eyes widen. What?! Um, no he's not.
"What are you doing bro? There's no way in hell I'm staying here with them." I angrily whisper to Louis as I get up to stop him and Liam from leaving.
"Relax man, we're helping you remember? Just keeping talking to Becky's sister a bit more and you're sure to get some tonight!" He winks at me again before checking out the blonde girl who is now talking in animated whispers to her older sister.
"I don't want her dude, I'm leaving."
"No, you're staying. Come on, Haz. We did this for you! If you don't want her then talk up Becky or Maria, I'm sure they'd be just as willing."
"Yeah Harry, just have fun tonight. It's our gift to you." Liam adds as they both give me pleading looks to stay. I groan before trudging back to my seat at the counter as they exit the bar.
"Oh goodie, I was scared there for a minute thinking you were leaving too." Blondie pipes as I return to my seat next to her. What's her name again? Carly? Carla? Something like that.
"Nope I'm still here." I reply quite grumpily as I resist to add 'unfortunately' at the end of my statement. The girl's sister and her friend order another round of drinks as they begin to chat up the bartender. I notice that it is a different guy behind the bar this time, younger, probably a student at the university.
"Want anything to drink?" Carla asks but I shake my head in refusal. I can't drink anymore if I still want to be able to drive myself home, seeing as Liam and Louis decided to abandon me here, the bastards.
Again, she continues to talk about totally irrelevant topics and I sit there with a glass of water in my hand, forced to pretend to listen to her crap. I'm surprised she doesn't realize my dissinterest, it's not like I'm making any effort to conceal it. I've even physically yawned a couple of times and she still doesn't take a hint.
Even if I weren't bummed out over Bree and I was back to my old self, I'm pretty sure her constant yacking would've sent me for the hills. This girl seriously never shuts up.
In the middle of her talking about something that had happened to her dog, my phone begins to buzz and I answer it, not even bothering to excuse myself. I quickly check the screen to see that it is Louis.
"What?" I pick up the phone, still angry at him and Liam for leaving me here.
"Hey Haz, it's Eleanor. Is Bree with you by any chance?" El replies on the other end. Why would she think Bree is with me of all people? Especially after everything that has happened in the last week. I'm pretty sure I'm the last person Bree would be with right now.
"Um, no why?" I say, regardless.
"Because it's past midnight and she's still not home from work, we're kind of worried." She says with a tone of urgency in her voice and now I am concerned. She didn't come home? Where could she be at this hour?
"What time did her shift end?" I ask, a million thoughts racing through my mind.
"Like two hours ago."
"Okay hang on, I'm on my way." I say quickly before hanging up and finally getting up to leave.
"I gotta go." I announce simply as I put on my jacket and pay the bartender for my drinks. The girl is looking at me with sad pout.
"Aw okay, well it was nice meeting-" She starts but I don't stick around to hear her finish. In seconds, I am in my car and starting the engine with only one thought in my mind.
Bree, where the hell are you?
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Okaaay, so I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please do not hesitate to comment your thoughts! I really love hearing from all my readers, and I do usually reply to you guys, so don't be afraid, I don't bite :)
Anyways, I decided to dedicate this chapter to my long time bestie constant__dreamer , probably the only person in my outside life who has ever read and will ever read Memory, love you tons girl! You guys should follow her and check her story out because she's an amazing poet :)
Thanks for reading!
Be sure to vote and comment if you can, that would be lovely :)
- DS xxx