There's things I wanna say to you
But I'll just let you live
Like if you hold me without hurting me
You'll be the first who ever did
There's things I wanna talk about
But better not to keep
But if you hold me without hurting me
You'll be the first who ever did
~Cinnamon Girl by Lana Del Rey
¤¤¤¤¤¤
ROSALIND TOOK A STEP inside the house, immediately inhaling the all too familiar homey scent of it. She entered the lounge, which was looking much more lively than the last time she saw it. A few pictures in frames where scattered here and there, mostly muggle and unmoving pictures. The wallpapers had been changed, and all in all, everything was just looking a lot more colourful and alive.
She was still trying to register what the man had called her mother, and she was trying to accept all of the changes that had occurred in her absence.
What had happened in the past few months while she was away?
"Oh Rosalind, dear! What an amazing surprise, I was really disappointed when you said you couldn't come in your letter!" Jewel Ambrose stepped into the lounge, looking much more sane than the last time her daughter had seen her.
"Mum! I missed you so much!" Rosalind stepped forward to embrace her mother tightly, leaving Tom lingering in the background awkwardly. The mysterious man smiled at the affectionate mother and daughter, and Tom noticed that he looked completely lovestruck.
"Oh and you brought along a friend, who is that?"
"I'm Tom, Tom Riddle, a friend from school," He explained charmingly, and Jewel immediately welcomed him and stepped forward to hug him warmly.
Tom was slightly taken off guard, and he managed a few awkward pats on the mother's back.
Jewel then glanced at the stranger, and he nodded at her reassuringly, "I think you should meet Robert. I met him at the grocery store a few months ago, I guess we really got along!" Her mother walked to the man's side and smiled brightly at him. Rosalind could tell it was a genuine smile.
Jewel looked happier and her mental health had really gotten better, to the point that Rosalind could tell she wasn't on the verge of insanity anymore.
Rosalind shook Robert's hand hastily and awkwardly, still not used to the idea that she had to accept an -almost- stepfather. She knew anyway, that if it made her mother happy, she would gladly accept it.
Soon enough, they heard a couple of footsteps thudding down the stairs. "Mummy, who's here?"
A tall brunette walked into the lounge, looking almost Rosalind's age. She was incredibly skinny, and Rosalind couldn't deny that the girl was gorgeous. Rosalind refrained the urge to gag at the name the obnoxious girl had just called her mother.
What was worse, however, was the fact that Samantha was walking by the girl's side, seemingly good friends with her.
"Oh, that's Helena, my daughter," Robert introduced with a smile, while Helena eyed Rosalind and -especially- Tom skeptically.
"Hi," Helena said to Tom in particular, extending her arm to shake his hand.
Rosalind tried to hold back her fury and not lash out at the irritating step-sister-to-be. She was raging.
Just when she thought things couldn't get any worse.
So she cleared her throat loudly, leaning possessively towards Tom, who seemed to be struggling to hide his smirk at Rosalind's evident jealousy. Rosalind shook Helena's hand instead, much to the latter's disappointment.
"Um, so can I go check my room now?" Rosalind asked awkwardly, tugging at Tom's arm as an indication to follow her.
"Oh, I'm so sorry dear, but Helena's staying in your room currently. We thought that the guest room would be far too uncomfortable for a long stay," Jewel smiled at the pair apologetically as Rosalind huffed out an irritated breath.
Tom followed her silently as she shouldered past Samantha and made her way to the stairs. She soon reached the guest room, dragging in her luggage behind her. The guest room had twin beds, which meant that Tom would be sharing the room with her once again.
"I can't believe I walk in home after being away for only a few months, to find out I have a stepfather and an annoying sod of a step sister, and what? They're living here now? Oh and don't even get me started on that bitch Samantha!" Rosalind complained once they entered the guest room, which made Tom chuckle quietly. He wasn't used to seeing her in such a distressed state, yet he deeply enjoyed it.
"But you appeared rather jealous of that Helena girl, I can't seem to tell why," Tom teased, placing his cloak on his bed.
"Me? Jealous of a girl like her?!" Rosalind laughed sarcastically, falling back onto the bed with a huff.
"I mean, they gave her my damn bedroom!"
***
Tom and Rosalind had to go downstairs again after a couple of hours so they could all have lunch and 'celebrate' Christmas together.
Rosalind sat next to Tom on the dining table, and she noticed Helena hurrying to sit right across from him. She bit her lip angrily, and she could hear Tom chortling beside her.
"What?" She snapped, but Tom only shrugged, a huge grin on his face.
"So Tom, dear, tell us more about yourself," Jewel smiled as she sat across Rosalind, while Samantha magically distributed the plates among them.
"I come from a pureblood family," Tom lied blatantly, explaining briefly a few other details about himself. He spoke with such charm that left her gaping at him. Rosalind tried to hold back her glare.
"Of course, Tom is such a pureblood. Oh, he's a Gryffindor as well," Rosalind remarked, scowling at Tom discreetly and patting him on the shoulder. Her mother nodded along.
Tom choked mid-way through his bite of the homemade Shepherd's pie. Rosalind 'awed' as she patted on his back a little more forcefully than needed.
"Um Helen. . Or was it Hailey? Oh whatever, please get him a cup of water," Rosalind asked Helena, purposefully mixing up with her name. If it wasn't that Helena wanted to please Tom, she would've immediately jumped at the French blonde and tackled her.
So the brunette sashayed quickly into the kitchen, filling up a cup of water and bringing it to Tom, who seemed to have gotten slightly better.
"That was intense," Robert muttered, resuming his lunch.
"Well, what about you, Robert?" Rosalind asked, smiling tightly at the older man. She could feel the anger radiating off of Tom, but she chose to ignore it.
"Helena and I come from Australia, actually. I moved here a few months ago and had the privilege of meeting your mother and getting to know her. My wife died a couple of years ago, suicide," Robert seemed to choke the last part out, and Rosalind just nodded her head sympathetically.
"Let's just continue eating for now," Jewel interfered, trying to avoid such a sensitive subject. Rosalind nodded, sparing a glance at Helena who didn't seem affected by the subject at all. She was too busy staring at Tom.
And they were all silent for the rest of lunch.
***
"Gryffindor, seriously Rosalind?" Tom snapped just as they reached the guest room. He was furious with her, and she was fully acquainted with that.
"Well, you were the one who defiantly lied to them!"
"So you would've preferred me telling them that I've lived in an orphanage my whole life?" Tom asked bitterly, glaring at Rosalind, who'd just plopped down on her bed.
"Alright, I'm sorry, just forget everything."
Tom didn't reply. He chose to sit on his own bed opposite her, contemplating their next move in silence.
"You should talk to Samantha," Tom broke the silence after a few minutes of frustrating tension.
"You think so?"
"Well, we have to do something after all, I'm sure you wouldn't want to succumb to Grindelwald in the end of this year, would you?" Rosalind gulped at his question, not knowing what to answer without possibly disappointing him. She didn't want him to think of her as a coward, and she didn't want to lose her high position in his mind or even lose his respect.
"Seriously, Rosalind?! You, out of all people, aren't going to fight Grindelwald?"
"I really don't know, Tom. You've seen what he's done to my uncle and mother, I don't think he'd be any more merciful with me," Rosalind tried to explain herself, for letting Tom in on her plan was deemed harder than she'd expected. Now she was just a disappointment to him, a coward, a useless Knight he'd expected to be much more powerful.
"I want to send Mum and Robert to Australia, along with that bitch Helena. I'm going to have to wipe their memories, too. And I might as well just lose my only family left." She was on the verge of tears after finishing her sentence; thinking about her huge loss that she, herself, was going to cause.
"Well, you might as well spend your holiday with them before doing that," Tom suggested, trying not to sound very indifferent when she was about to cry. He knew family was a sensitive matter to Rosalind, but he also knew that losing her family would make her less vulnerable, for she wouldn't have a weakness anymore.
Little did he know, her new weakness was him.
"Then I'll deal with Samantha later this week."
***
Jewel had insisted that Tom saw Rosalind's baby pictures. For some reason, she thought that Tom was more than a 'friend', though in reality, Tom was barely even a friend.
There was a whole album of moving childhood memories, and her mother told the story behind every picture, rendering Rosalind beet-red in embarrassment.
So there they were, looking at a picture of a butt-naked Rosalind at only the age of five, dancing around in the kitchen. And then they were looking at one of Rosalind who seemed to have covered herself from head to toe in butter, thinking it was lotion.
Tom was clearly very amused, seeing as he couldn't resist laughing at every ridiculously humorous picture he saw of the french blonde.
"Seems like you were quite the clown when you were younger," Tom chuckled as they sat on the porch. Jewel left them alone for a bit, excusing herself to 'check on Robert'.
It had stopped snowing for a while, which gave them the opportunity to get some fresh air and enjoy the solitude for a few moments.
Although the bickering and quarrelling between the two were rather annoying, at moments like this, when silence took control, nothing felt more tranquil.
"I know, it's pathetic," Rosalind muttered, hanging her head in embarrassment. Somehow, as she said that statement, her mind wandered to another thing she considered pathetic. She thought about her feelings, her infatuation with Tom. She refused to call it love, she was determined that it was only a stupid infatuation, a strange physical attraction between the two, which led to her feelings.
Yes, it was pathetic, especially that she knew about Tom's emotions, or more specifically: lack thereof.
"It is, but it's also amusing," Tom smirked at her, making her insides shiver and shudder.
"You know, now that we left the school together, a lot of rumours will spread. People are going to talk," Rosalind spoke her mind, staring at the road ahead of them blankly. The last thing she wanted to worry about was being questioned about being 'involved' with Tom.
"It never hurts to be the talk of the school for a while, it results in more attention to us, especially that we're two of the best wizards in school. Let them assume whatever they want," Tom mused, observing Rosalind intently. He watched every move of hers, every reaction and reflex to his actions.
He noticed that all too-visible rosy blush on her cheeks and nose— consequence of the cold. He also noticed the way she seemed to avoid his gaze, and the way she zoned out every now and then.
"We should go inside, it's not time for you to catch a cold," Tom spoke loudly, bringing Rosalind out of her permanent trance. She nodded absent-mindedly, and followed him into the house.
***
Rosalind lay in her bed in the middle of the night, unable to get a blink of sleep. A few days had passed since her arrival in Brighton, and she was counting down the seconds to the moment she'd change her entire future. She'll have to modify her mother's memory, along with Robert's and Helena's, and send them off to Australia, to forget her completely.
Then she'll have to deal with Samantha in her own way.
She knew it was a hard step to take, but if she wanted to guarantee her mother's safety, Rosalind will have to sacrifice her source of happiness. Perhaps some day, she'll be able to see her mother again.
Then her thoughts strayed to Tom, and how it was already past midnight, which meant that it was the 31st of December. It was his birthday, and sooner or later, she'll have to give him his gift.
The fact that he was right beside her on his bed, flipping through the pages of a mysterious book, made her go numb. Maybe that was the perfect moment.
She just needed courage, it all required an insane twenty seconds of courage that would change everything between them.
So she shot up in her bed, so fast she became dizzy, black spots clouding her vision.
"Geez, are you okay, Rosalind?" Tom snapped a little too harshly, making Rosalind question her motives once again. Was she being an imbecile in presenting him with such a sweet gesture?
"I'm fine, just couldn't sleep," She lied, moving her legs around the edge of her bed so that she was facing Tom's.
"There's something else you're not saying," Tom trailed off, shutting his book and turning to face her.
"So you know it's almost one in the.. um, the morning, so it's t-technically the thirty-first of December," Rosalind stuttered, and Tom just raised his eyebrows at her.
She sighed, then got up to her trunk, and pulled out the neatly wrapped diary hidden beneath her stuff.
She sat beside him on his bed and inhaled a deep breath. "Happy Birthday Tom, I figured you could use this since you've got one too many future plans. You also take a lot of notes, so.." She handed him the 'gift', which he stared at for a few seconds.
Tom didn't take the diary from her. He just stared at it, unable to think of a suitable reaction for such a situation. He felt shocked, since he'd expected Rosalind to completely loathe him. He deserved her hatred though, and he knew it. He hurt her way more than necessary, and he didn't find a rational reason for her to show him such notion of care.
Rosalind felt her stomach sink as she placed the diary on his nightstand and got up to lie in her bed again. Midway through the process, however, Tom grabbed her arm and pulled her down next to him, just like she was sat before.
"You know," Tom paused, "No one has ever done this to me before. Never," he whispered huskily, and it made her heart jump and quench at the same time.
She looked at him with tears in her eyes. She'd fallen so deeply.
Tom faced Rosalind, still seated across from her.
"Thank you Rosalind," Tom muttered, unsure of what should happen next. He just stared into her emerald eyes, contrasting to his cold blue ones.
Rosalind decided to take control of the moment. Twenty seconds of insane courage. Twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery. That's all she needed.
That's what she kept repeating in her mind as she ran her hand through his hair.
His inky curls were soft against her hand. She closed her eyes, savouring the intimacy dancing between them.
"What are you doing to me, Rosalind?"
And that was the sentence that made her heart stop, and escalate to beyond normal at the same time. Her breathing quickened, and she opened her eyes again.
For that split second, Tom seemed to have let his guard down. His eyes showed some sort of deep emotion she'd never witnessed in him before. His hand caressed her cheek gently, so lovingly it was hard to recognise as Tom's touch.
"You know that my darkness runs deep, Rosalind." Tom's voice was a low rumble of feelings, and Rosalind's hand went back to her side. Tom's didn't, however. He kept stroking her face.
Rosalind leaned closer towards him, so that their breaths were mingling. The air hummed electric between them, and she still hadn't answered.
"But my love could run deeper," she whispered, her eyes locked on his.
Rosalind brushed her lips against his and pulled back a little, just to make sure that his reaction was positive.
And it was more than that. Tom pulled her by the waist immediately, and their lips collided. Magic tumbled from their pretty lips— the stars sighed in unison. They kissed each other so very deeply, his hands on her waist possessively, hers through his dark locks; they pulled each other closer, as if they could fuse into one.
And then she was straddling his lap, looking down upon him. Him. The person that made her heart burn and quench. Her lips were swollen, her face was flushed, she was also panting, but that didn't stop her.
Her hands caressed his cheeks, cupping his face from both sides. She kissed him again. This time a lot more slowly, gently.
His hands left electricity as they roamed her body. Every trace of his fingers left shivers across her skin as their lips danced against each other. And she let him do that to her gladly. She'd been yearning for him all this time, and the feeling of absolute ecstasy intoxicated her.
His musky scent intoxicated her. The taste of his mouth intoxicated her. Everything about him was so addictive and venomous.
His poison leaked through her veins, leading her to her inevitable death, and leaving her in a deep pit of love and desire.
They were fire and water, love laced with sin.
They broke apart, foreheads pressed against each other, hearts thudding.
Everything was blissful. But it didn't last long.