-Christian: Was all of that necessary?
*He says still holding his nuts looking slightly in pain.
-Me: Yes it was. Don't you dare kiss me again, don't you touch me again.. I am not yours anymore, and I surely am not one of your WHORES that you can have whenever you please and want.
*I say trying to sound mad, because who am I kidding, I'm not gonna lie.. I enjoyed the kiss and his touch very much. He compose himself and smiles wickedly.
-Christian: That is where you're wrong, you are still mine.
*I open my mouth to protest against it.. but he kept talking.
-Christian: I know what I said before, but that isn't true. I said that in that moment just because I was pissed. I brought you here not only for Jr.. but because I too want you here.
And you are so much more than just my son's mother. You are the only women that has rights here.
*He says putting his hand on his heart. I didn't know if to believe him or not.
-Christian: No other women is above your authority. You have the right to do and say whatever you want too baby.
-Me: Yeah sure.
*I say not believing him for a second.
-Me: I don't believe you, you have changed.. you turned hard and despot. You are nothing like the Christian that I knew, remembered and loved.. you hurt me badly.
And you think that you can kiss me and all will be forgotten, you think that a few kisses are gonna change all of that? All of the awful things you said and did to me? You are so wrong.
*I say looking at him mad.
-Me: And don't call me baby, I am not your baby anymore.
*I now say with sadness. He looks at me hurt. Well at least that's what it looks like, these days I can't be sure anymore about his emotions.. because one minute he's fine and the next he's angry.
-Christian: Please don't say that, you are my baby.. you never stopped being it, you are my everything.
*He says with his voice sounding sad.. I just look at him with boredom and disbelief.
-Me: I sure wasn't it when you threw me out and treated me badly.
-Christian: Natasha listen to me, I know that I have said and done things, unforgivable things that hurt you.. and I'm really sorry for all of that. Especially the things I said about you and our son the last day that I saw you.
I was jealous, blinded by rage, I know that that isn't a justification.. but please try to understand me, know that I am truly and deeply sorry. I regret what I did everyday.
No sorry will be ever enough, I know that. But know that I never stopped loving you.
*I was looking away from him, but when he said that I looked at him surprised and in shock.. I thought that he was being jealous just because of his men ego. He's a men.. men doesn't like it when others touch or have what is their's or used to be their's.
*So that's why I was thinking that that's the reason he was acting jealous. Because he thinks that I still belong to him, but not because he still love me.
*I shouldn't think much about it, maybe he is just lying, making up all this bullshit to have me fall for him. I'm stupid to even think about believing him and his words.
*So I just look at him with an expression that clearly says.. I don't believe you for a bit. Earlier today, he sure made himself clear about how he feels and now he comes and say another thing. Or he's playing me or he's bipolar. I won't believe his lies.. he just wants to play me.
-Christian: I know that I have changed, but the old me is still in here.
*He says putting his hand on his chest and start coming closer yet again. He proceeded by touching my face and caressing it while he leans his head down putting his forehead against mine.
-Christian: Please give me the chance to show you that I am still the man you fell in love with.
*He says looking into my eyes with hope, his gorgeous blue eyes that always captivated me were piercing through me. I can't handle this.
*I get nervous because I don't wanna fall for his words, I don't wanna be fooled.. and I surely shouldn't and can't forgive him this fast and so easily. I need to have some dignity.
*To much has happened.. it's my first day back and I already had problems with him and that stupid slut.
No, I just can't.. I have to try and get some words out.
-Me: I... I.. Please stop.
*I say turning my eyes away from him broking our intense gaze.. I'm gonna lost it if he keeps going like this. I need to be stronger than this. I couldn't even get some decent words out of my mouth. So much for having dignity and not forgive him so easily.
*Now he will know that he still have an affect on me, he will think that I am weak and have no self-esteem whatsoever. He will think that he can have me whenever he wants and pleases, that he just have to say a few cute words so he can have me back at his feet.
-Christian: Shhh.. please listen to me, maybe I won't open up again to tell you how I really feel. Maybe this will be the last time that I will tell you about my true feelings towards you. Please let me get it all out. Don't reject me. Look at me darling I beg you.
*He says with a husky voice as he kept caressing my face, I look at him.. but I don't say a word.. he was looking pleadingly at me.
-Christian: I was hurt and sad. I have missed you so much, everyday that passed and you weren't here by my side where you belong to be was torture, I felt like I was dying, everyday.
You don't know how much I needed to have you close of me, just being able to smell your scent makes my day. And not having you made me so miserable.
*He says saddened.
-Christian: Can't you see that you have me where you want? Ready to do your every bidding, ready to do anything for you. I'm a puppet in your hands Natasha. I'm yours.
If you tell me to jump.. I'll ask, how high? I'm willingly giving myself to you, so you can do whatever you want to me. Make of me your servant and I'll gladly serve you my love, for you are my life and my reason to live and breath.
I need you, just as you need me, well I hope you still need me.. you are everything to me. You and our son. OUR son, because I know now that he is mine.. I was stupid to even think otherwise.
*He says in a loving and caring tone, 2 things that I have long forgotten he was. I was about to cry, I'm so weak when it comes to Christian.
-Christian: No, no baby, don't cry.. I can't handle to see you cry. It brakes my heart.
*He says now caressing my face with his face, then he retreat his head just a little bit and looks into my eyes again. I was shaking because I didn't want this to go this way, and not this fast.
*I need time to know and be sure about him, about his feelings towards me. He breaths deeply.
-Christian: The day that I went looking for you and you weren't there, I got devastated. Throwing you out and denying our baby are my biggest regret and mistake.
Just know that you and Christian Jr.. I love the name by the way.
*He says smiling a little, I smile sadly at him.
-Christian: Know that you both are my world baby, I would die for the both of you without second guessing, without thinking about it, without even blinking.
I really am sorry. I was clouded by my jealousy, I wasn't thinking straight.. all I could see was betrayal. Betrayal from the love of my life, I could only see those pics and think that you betrayed me and then came the recording.
Hearing your voice saying those words was just awfully bad. At that moment I saw red, red of pure rage and hate. And that end up making me do what I did and said to you. It was wrong of me, I know that baby.
*I couldn't take it anymore, I start crying, tears were falling down my cheeks like a waterfall.
-Christian: Please don't cry, I can't cope with it.. it pains me to see your beautiful eyes so sad, I can't handle it. That awful day that everything went to hell between us, I remember you were crying so much.. I almost, almost believed you, but I guess that my jealousy and anger were to high and out of control in that moment.
So they took control of my body and won the battle that was inside of me. The battle of to believe you or not. And those stupid feelings won me over. And you don't know how much I regret that.
*He says with his eyes crystal, they were filling with water as he puts his forehead against mine one more time. He wipes my tears away with his thumbs.
-Christian: Please baby, give me the chance to show you how sorry I am.. that I really regret what I did. Give me the chance to show you that I love you, because I still do.. I never stopped loving you.
Don't mind what I say when I'm angry, I do it just to hurt you and that is so wrong of me because I should never hurt you. I am ashamed of my behavior towards you.
I have done some stupid things I know, but know and be sure that I am repentant.
*Christian say with guilt written all over his face, he looked depressed. I was scared of what might happen, because if he keeps saying these things, I might give in.
*And that is not what I want. Not yet at least. Not till he shows me that he really is sorry and truly repentant for everything.
-Me: Christian please, stop this.. I really can't deal with this right no-
*I say sad. He looks at me pleading.
-Christian: Wait please.
*He says as he puts a finger on my mouth.
-Christian: I need you to know that you're the only women who truly fulfill me. Just looking at you makes my day better, it makes me feel better. You're my angel, I'm a lost cause without you.
I'm broken and hurt, you are the only one who can piece me back together. I miss your smile, I miss your smell.
*He says sad but hopeful while his finger brush my lips, then he inhale my scent, he takes a deep breath and continues. I was losing it, my heart and the desire I was feeling right now wanted me to give in.. but my mind kept screaming no.
-Christian: I miss your laughter, that laughter that brighten me up, and made me feel alive whenever I heard it. You are my safe place, I need you to feel alive again, because without you I was death inside.
Just being able to have you this close again makes me wanna live again. Just for you. I can't live without you Natasha. You make me whole. Just please, give me a chance to redeem myself to you and to our son. Please my love forgive me. Let me show you that I am sorry.
*He say with sorrow, he puts his hands on the tree and his face on my shoulder, I feel my shoulder get wet. We stay like that and quiet for a few seconds. I wanted to hug him so bad but I didn't know if I should. My mind said no, but he was hurting and crying for God's sake.
*I hug him tight and he hugs me back as he kept crying on my shoulder. After a few minutes he stopped crying and then he starts moving my shirt to the side as he start kissing my shoulder and kept going till he got to my neck.
-Me: I can't do this, I can't. I'm sorry.
*I say as I push him away, while looking at him with sadness.. he looked broken and hurt. And that was all I said as I ran off crying, I left him there broken and all alone after he poured his heart to me. That was cruel of me.
*But he wasn't the only one, I am also broken and hurt. When I got into my old room I lock myself in and sob. I cry for what felt like hours. When I finally calmed down I stared to wonder, I wonder.. how is Christian doing right now after I left him there crying.
2230 words.