Even when he didn't remember everything fully about me, about us, he was still him, the Tres Palmer who never gives up on me. Early in the morning, I was greeted by his face in the dining room together with dad. I wanted to pacify how I felt and forget things completely before talking to him. So I did what I think was right. I didn't talk to him. But on the following days, Tres never stopped trying.
"Can you tell me now the truth?" He asked when we were heading to their house. "I know it's true that you missed your mom but Maddy, I know that there's something else too."
"I just want to forget it so please...'wag na nating pag-usapan."
Lihim akong nagpasalamat na hindi siya nag-insist. Pagpasok namin ng bahay, napakunot ako ng noo nang makitang may maraming tao. It's not much of a crowd but it's odd to see their number inside the Palmer's residence. Puro pa ito mga lalaki, na sa tingin ko ay kaedad ko lang.
"We can't stay here." Tres said. "Four's classmates are here." So he led me to his room. As much as possible, I averted my attention towards something else to avoid getting my heart broken again. Ang saklap naman kapag nawasak pa ulit 'to gayong hindi pa nga nabuo.
"Do you want to eat something?" Umiling ako. "This is so uncomfortable." Reklamo niya mayamaya.
"What?"
"Having you and the silence together at once. It's uncomfortable."
"Can I just sleep?" I replied instead. "Can I sleep here?"
As shown by his dark eyes, I can tell how hard he tries to be patient. But if he bursts out or not, I totally don't care. He remained silent while I positioned myself sideways, my back against him.
"Bro." I frowned. Who is he talking to? "Maddy? She's here. Do you want to talk to her? Wait up. I'll place you on speaker."
He's on call. Probably, it's Ansel or Cedric.
"Where is she?" That's Ansel's voice. "Natutulog pala eh, 'wag mo ng gisingin. Sira-ulo."
"Si Harper?"
"Natutulog din." Sagot nito at tumawa.
"So tuloy na ang kasal?"
"Oo. Mauuna tayo sa resort, a week before the wedding. Hinahanap ka kaya nina Tatay Romar at nanay Helena lagi sa'min."
"Oh sige. Sige. Walang problema 'yon." Nagpatuloy ang dalawa sa pagkukwentuhan hanggang sa...
"Bro, is it okay if I also bring Cami to the wedding?" Tanong ni Tres na nagpapanting ng tenga ko. Walang sali-salitang lumabas ako ng kwarto niya at walang lingon-likod na tumakbo.
"Sino 'yon pare?" Narinig kong tanong ng isang lalaki kay Four nang dumaan ako.
Uuwi na dapat ako e. Kaya lang, naalala kong naiwan sa kwarto ni Tres ang phone at bag ko. Kaya para alisin ang nararamdaman kong galit, minabuti kong mapag-isa sa garden ni tita sa likod-bahay. The flowers come in many varieties but it actually made the garden more beautiful.
"Okay ka lang, miss?" Napatalon pa ako sa gulat dahil sa biglaang pagsasalita ng lalaking di ko kilala. May piercing ito sa kilay kaya lalo akong nabother. "Mag-isa ka yata."
"I just needed fresh air." Pasimpleng sagot ko.
"I'm Broody." Pagpapakilala niya. "Kaklase ako ni Four. Sa ESA karin nag-aaral diba?" Tango lang ang isinagot ko. "Naaalala pa kasi kita. Ikaw 'yong palaging kasama ni Lacsamana."
Kilala niya si Gabbi. But still, I'm not in the mood to talk.
"Maiwan na kita." Mabuti naman at narealize niyang ayaw kong may kasama. I nodded again to respond to him.
"But are you sure you're okay?" That made me smile. His thoughtfulness. It made me genuinely smile. "Here, in case you want to cry." Inabotan niya ako ng panyo. Wala akong balak tanggapin 'yon pero kinuha niya ang kamay ko at nilagay roon ang panyo.
Broody and I both flinched when someone cleared his throat. When I turned around to see him, Tres stood few steps away from us, looking furious.
"I gotta go." Paalam ni Broody na tinanguhan ko lang.
"Stop right there." Tres interrupted and the poor guy halted on his heels. Before he could say something else, I quickly dragged him away and at the same time, I gestured Broody to leave.
"What are you doing?" I confronted when I was sure that it was just the two of us at the backyard.
"You tell me, what are you doing?" Pasigaw na tanong niya.
"Alam mo. Aalis na ako." Naiinis na sambit ko saka umakmang iwan siya. Ngunit mabilis niyang nahuli ang braso ko na hinahawakan niya ngayon ng mahigpit. Bumabaon 'yong kuko niya sa balat ko.
"Why are you talking to that guy?"
"Because why not?" Sagot ko para galitin rin siya. Ang unfair naman yata kung ako lang ang nababadtrip sa'ming dalawa.
"What the fck?"
"'Wag kang magmura."
"Maddy, pwede bang ipaintindi mo sa'kin kung ano ang problema? Hindi ka ba napapagod na makipag-away?"
"Hindi ako nakikipag-away. Ikaw nga 'yang umaastang ewan diyan e." Naiinis na sagot ko.
"Ano'ng gusto mong maramdaman ko? I don't like to see you talking with other guys!"
"Stop shouting at me." I warned.
"What's wrong Madellaine? Why are you acting differently these past days? Ganito ba tayo palagi dati? Because if we are, I don't think this is all worth it."
We already broke up months but it seemed like he's asking for break up when he said that.
"Oo. Ganito tayo." Pagsisinungaling ko. "Kaya tama lang 'yan. Don't remember me. Kalimutan mo nalang ako ng tuluyan. Iyan naman talaga ang gusto mo e." Umiiyak na sabi ko. "Gusto mo 'kong kalimutan kaya hindi mo ako maalala."
"Siguro nga. Kaya sana, tigilan mo narin ako. Stop coming around." He angrily jerked at me.
"The hell I will!"
"Fine. Then leave now." Pagtataboy niyang nagpalala ng sakit na nararamdaman ko. Kahit na alam kong nadala lang ako sa galit, kahit sigurado akong gusto ko paring maalala niya ako, kinuha ko parin ang mga gamit ko at umalis. Nakatayo siya sa may pintuan kaya sinadya ko siyang banggain nang dumaan ako.
"Where are you going?" Tres asked when he caught my arms. This is getting nowhere. What is he even doing? He wanted me to go and then stops me the next minute! Tres isn't a bipolar, for all I know!
"Bitiwan mo 'ko. Alam mo kung saan ako pupunta!"
"Please just stay."
Gago'ng 'to. Itinakwil ko ang kamay niya at nagpatuloy ako sa pag-alis. Nakakaasar siya. Iyak ako ng iyak hanggang dumating ng bahay. Hindi ko na talaga siya maintindihan. He is like a completely different person. I can no longer stand his mood swings and I don't want to deal with them anymore.
Tawag ng tawag si Tres sa'kin pagdating ko ng bahay. Dapat matuwa ako di ba? Pero iba ang nararamdaman ko. Nasasaktan ako dahil pakiramdam ko, pinaglalaruan niya lang ako. If I am not this sane, I'd say he never lost his memory of me. Maybe, he's just lying all along to make me suffer. But my heart is sure that Tres isn't capable of doing that. Ilang ulit na siyang nagalit sa'kin, pero hindi niya sinadyang saktan ako kahit minsan.
"ANONG GINAGAWA mo rito?" Tanong ko nang bumungad sa'kin ang nakangiti niyang mukha pagkagising na pagkagising ko ng umagang 'yon. Nakakainis, hindi na naman mapakali ang puso ko. Pagdating sa lalaki na 'to, ang dami-dami kong nadiskubre sa sarili ko. Ang hina-hina ko pala. Ang bilis ko lang palang paamuin pagdating sa kanya. Isang ngiti lang niya, kaya ko ng isantabi ang galit ko.
"Good morning too." Oh. Please don't smile at me like that. I shoved away my thoughts admiring how charming he looks. I got up, went out of bed.
"We're over, Tres. We're over and it's not worth it if we keep trying." I said to remind him what he just told me the other day.
"I don't mean it."
"Oh yeah? You say things and don't mean it? That's cool, moron!" I said sarcastically.
"What's that again?" Now, he's angry. His eyes are flaring and that somehow satiated my feelings. Great, we're square now.
"Can you just leave?"
"Not without you."
"Not gonna happen."
"Then I'm not leaving—"
"Ano ba kasing gusto mo?" I burst out of so much frustration at him.
"We're going to meet my friends. Hahanapin ka nila sa'kin kapag hindi kita kasama."
"Is that so?" I smirked while he raised his brow at me. "Sayang. Wala kasi akong paki." Pang-iinis ko rito.
"Madellaine. Umayos ka nga."
At ang kapal naman talaga ng mukha niya eh. Ako pa ang pagsasabihan niya nyan? Why don't he say that to himself?
"Ikaw ang umayos. Umalis ka dito. Kung gusto mong may kasamang i-meet ang mga kaibigan mo, ba't hindi mo isama ang kalandian mo?"
"Wala akong nilalandi maliban sa'yo."
That's too good to be true, Palmer. Tsk. Bumalik sa isipan ko ang nangyaring wumasak sa'kin ng sobra. I was so hurt and angry at the same time.
"Ah. So kung hindi mo kalandian 'yong babaeng 'yon, ano'ng tawag mo sa kanya? Girlfriend mo? Fiancee? Mahal mo?" Galit na galit na singhal ko, nagpipigil lang maluha.
"What are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about? Why don't you ask yourself or that Camille of yours!?" After popping the words out, I ran towards the bathroom which he constantly knocked afterward.
"Open this door, Madellaine." He ordered. "Get the hell out of there and let's finish this. Wala kang dapat na ipagselos."
Ang kapal. Kapal. Kapaaaaal! Ang sarap sumigaw talaga e. O kaya iuntog sa pader ang ulo niya at nang maalala niya lahat-lahat!
"Hindi ako nagseselos." Bungad ko matapos buksan ang pinto at lumabas.
"Nagseselos ka." He stated so confidently, wearing the grin I hated to see on him. What a jerk. Am I sure I love this man? He's an asshole, Madellaine!
"Umalis ka na."
"Ba't ka ba nagseselos kay Cami?"
"Bakit hindi?"
"Hey gorgeous, don't." He said, smiling as if he didn't do something to break me, as if we never argued since the past days. "You don't have to be jealous." He whispered, stroking my cheeks lightly with his hand.
"I don't want you to bring her to the wedding." I whispered as tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Why?"
"You know why." I cried out. Why would he ask that? He knew why!
"Tell me why, baby."
"I'm jealous. I don't like her. I don't want to see you with her." I stated with all honesty. He smiled while he kept wiping my tears off.
"Done. Who said about bringing Cami to the wedding?" He smiled and my heart swelled in happiness. "Did I tell you to stop pouting because it's tempting me to kiss you?"
"Huh?"
"Oh babe. You're always tempting me, honestly." He murmured and then lifted my chin up to kiss me. It didn't last long but it wasn't quick either. "I'll be downstairs. We'll meet Ansel and Harper in a few minutes." He informed me before exiting the room.
How did he do that? He just wiped all my anger away with a kiss. It isn't just the kiss. It's mainly because of the fact that I love him so much.