She was brave and strong and broken all at once. - Anna Funder
Aurora's Pov
Sweat. The whole room was warm and full but the looks of reassurance kept me feeling safe as security kept near to me. No more threats or perverts looking through to me. My body and soul could be freed. Not as easy as it sounded but it didn't matter. I was due to return to my dorm in a few short and painful hours. Work had begun once again and my mind filled with all of my old happy memories.
"Playing with the flowers I picked myself because I know they won't come from anyone else." My voice carried through the dim room. A few pairs of eyes watched me but they kept mainly to the people near to them.
"Now I'm exothermic. Watch me exoburn this. I deserve this. Oh. I deserve this. I deserve it. Ooohhh. I deserve this. I'm still moving cities. I'm still causing storms. I don't know if you know this but when I shoot, I score. Turn it into gold. I make this exothermic. Now watch my heart explode." I finished the song and the music had hardly silenced when the next words came on and I braced for the next song. The dim light kept me well hidden and only the front tables could see me, people tended to just avoid those tables. My eyes never left the edge of the mat that was just before me and beneath me. I was scared that he would be there. Despite the fact that I watched him die. Well, felt him die. My throat was a little red and a small scab had formed but a high neck on my top kept me well covered.
"In this California king bed. We're ten thousand miles apart. I'll be California wishing on these stars. For you're heart on me. My California king. Just when I felt like giving up on us. You turned around and gave me one last touch. That made everything feel better. And even then my eyes got wetter. So confused wanna ask you if you love me. But I don't wanna seem so weak. Maybe I've been California dreaming."
My mind raced with the only song that I was being paid to sing that night. The dim screen was lit up and I smiled. The song was a real sweet one that made me smile every time it was heard. My hands still slightly shook as I held the microphone that was on a stand. I may have been able to lower my hands and still sing into the microphone but I liked the feeling of knowing that it was there. It kept my hands busy. I took in a deep breath and looked up. When I did the entire BAU team sat on the front table with smiles held on all of their faces. Most especially Spencer's. I felt my heart palpitate and began to sing.
"He came to me like a song, Like one I knew all along, And daddy, he got a hold on me, I know you think that it's wrong, But he grew on me like a rose, The sweetest I've ever known, I swear that he got a hold on me, And now I can't let him go, No one ever said it was easy, And I love him, you gotta believe me, No, it don't seem right, But I'll change your mind, mind, Trust in me, I'ma need your blessing, Oh, I love him, I'm confessing, If it takes my life, I'ma change your mind." The song was just a sweet one though not my favourite. Still, as I finished it the lights filled the room and everyone was given the go-ahead to leave. They had to go but I could hear nothing from the BAU table. Sure to the sound they stayed still. The lights turned off and then on again moments later and they all stood to meet me. Penelope almost flooring me and I hugged slightly back. She had felt so bad for everything and yet she wasn't in the wrong. He was. Alex.
I hadn't seen any of them since then. Calls were only made. Officers interviewed me and no sign of them was seen. The small safe house kept me busy as I prepared to go back to my old life. Where I was sane and like most other people. Who had been held as a child porn producer for nearly ten years and could speak two languages, one of which they had to teach themselves in isolation as they didn't speak either language well. They were also kidnapped because a man they slept with in captivity was an FBI agent and the crazy man wanted to hurt him. The common type of student who thought they were crazy but in reality, they didn't even really need to send themselves to a busy institution and rather they were being stalked.
My life wasn't standard but Spencer made it okay. Even if he didn't want me and he was only interested in a few meetings. Even if it or rather us only ever made it to past lovers I could be happy. I knew that he wanted me once. The way he looked at me forced a slight smile onto my face. Derek prepped to make a comment on my appearance but he held his tongue as I pulled him into a hug of love. I didn't get to thank him as much as I should have.
"Thank you, Derek Morgan," I spoke into his ear and pulled him so tight that our bodies began to entwine. My face blanching a small shade of red. The word blanch was a good one. A word Daisy had taught me and it was a life-changer. Derek was surprised but he soon wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up to his height. I was spun in a small circle as I began to give a giggling sort of laugh into his ear.
"I don't think anyone alive could get enough of that noise," Derek commented as he let his feet slow and then he eventually placed me on the floor where I regained my poor balance and smoothed down the fabric on my short dress. The outfits were never my favourite part of the job but the dress did let my curves and assets become highlighted. Of this, I was glad when Spencer watched on as I twisted my body. A small habit I had learnt from Anna. Something she did when in a situation she enjoyed but also felt a little awkward in.
"Are you getting any..." Before Rossi could let the words fall, I stopped him with my own words and smiling. He seemed pleased with my blunt and honest answer.
"Yes. Tonight will be my first night without any sleeping tablets and I will be back at the university. I have a therapist who I will be seeing twice a week. I am also seeing some other specialists to see if I can cope in the future any better." I saw no reason to lie as my answer was exactly what they had hope in. I needed help and that was no secret. My mind and body had been through so much. In reality, I didn't like help but the thoughts and nightmares were bound to get far worse and so it had to happen. I could get help and see what I could do. Just to deal with it in a better way.
After nearly an hour of talking they all clearly looked tired and so headed to their cars. As I locked the door my phone rang and I saw that it was my mother. Something about that woman inspired me to wake in the morning.
"Mama. Ich gehe jetzt schlafen. Nichts Neues ist passiert." I didn't leave any room to have a response as I hung up and walked to the pavement that I would have to walk. A hand caught mine and I almost shouted but a pair of eyes stopped me. I smirked up at him but I felt the berating look hit him. He felt some guilt but a smile was wide on his face. A thing few people could comfort me by. That smile he gave left me in a state of pain still.
"I was thinking. If this is your first night. Perhaps you could sleep at mine for the night and you know. If you have any of those nightmares then I can help." I really did consider it but felt like I should do as I had intended on.
"Sorry. I think Anna will die if she doesn't see me soon. I left and she had a new phone. No way of contacting me so she hasn't even spoken to me yet. We will catch up later but I should be in my dorm." He agreed a little less than thrilled and clearly not agreeing with me. I shrugged it off and tightened my grip on his hand.
"You could come sleep in my bed. Plenty of room you see." He seemed to perk up and he smiled down at me as the dark streets were walked through. I was so glad that I wasn't alone as I had been fearing the walk all night. Poorly thought out without a car but it didn't matter. Life was a little more worthwhile with Spencer Reid at my broken and damaged side. He wasn't as bad as me but he made me better. Like cement and bricks, he was keeping me in place.
When we finally got back to the dorm Anna ran to the door and floored me. By the time I got to my feet, she was already up and tears hit our eyes. I pulled her into a close hug and let my tears fall down. She was so warm and she smelt like home. I was where I should have been.
"Spence. Can I meet you in the room? I have a shirt of yours in my room. Second, draw in and it is in the little draws." He nodded and walked into my room. Not much more was heard from him. Clearly, an explanation was wanted by Anna but I just wanted to make sure she was okay.
"A man. The one you were drawing stood at my window. Oh, Rory. He scared me. Said no words, just sneered and walked off. Can you tell me anything?" My heart shattered at her words. I had put her in danger but I had no clue what was going on when I left.
"He is dead. He is also the reason why I left. I thought I was imagining him but I wasn't and he tried to hurt me. The BAU came and saved me. I went to get help. I am so sorry Anna. I promise it is all sorted. No more crazy, well, maybe not as crazy." We laughed at the comment and she pulled me into a hug once again. We were back and she wasn't about to let that change. The next morning was sworn to be a morning of talking and I was going to keep to that.
When I got into the room I was expecting a clothed Spencer but he only wore boxers and he climbed into my bed. I smiled as he kept his back to me for a second until he was in properly. I stripped off my trousers and unnecessary fabric before I got in and I joined him after I brushed my teeth and made him brush his with a spare. Our bare legs met and I relaxed into the hold though we both pulled back after a second and laid on our back apart from each other.
"What was it like? Where did you go for the examination?" I let these words sit with me before I moved so to keep our legs touching and my head rested on his chest before I ran a finger all over his bare chest. His right arm moved under me and his left moved to my hip under the duvet. I was only wearing a short top and a pair of pants so he met bare skin.
"Good. I went to Last Vegas. I met the most amazing woman. She told the people that I was sane. She had been in that place too long to believe it was much. If I am crushing you, tell me." I was met with an unexpected silence. His chest rose and fell beneath me. His breath was felt over my head and I felt my grip on reality falter.
"What was her name?" Clearly, his brain was busy and I was glad that he had listened to me and not just glossed over my words like some would have done. Still, though I felt the tiredness seep into me.
"Diana. She had short blonde hair. Older, my mum's age maybe." He became a little tense but my mind fell from thought as he relaxed and let me know.
"That was my mother. She loved you. Told me that if I ever met a person I thought was like you, then I should go for it." I smiled against his chest as I buried in closer. My hand had grown slower before I slipped into a very deep sleep. One I didn't need help to meet or endure. I didn't wake in a sweat as I had before. I did see Alex but Spencer was in his way. I was safe with Spencer and I knew that really.