I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
Like a fool at the top of my lungs
Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
But it's never enough
Cause my echo, echo
Is the only voice coming back
Shadow, shadow
Is the only friend that I have
Brooklyn’s P.O.V
The cool evening air wisped through my hair and cooled my flushed face. I was over-thinking. Thinking too hard about something that didn’t need much thought. The hotel balcony was quite small but it felt almost cozy. It was way past midnight but I wasn’t able to sleep and I’d misplaced my pills.
“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” a tired voice said from not far to my right.
I looked in that direction and saw an exhausted Luke, “I could say the same thing”
“What’s got you up this late?” he asked, mirroring my stance, arms on the railing while leaning on them.
“Just some stuff I’ve been thinking about. How about you?”
“Same thing I guess,” I nod slowly then looked back at the view.
“What have you been thinking about?”
“Nothing important”
“I know I wasn’t the best boyfriend in the world but I know when you’re lying Brooklyn. What’s up?”
I sighed heavily then looked back to him, “have you ever made a decision and acted on it, only for it to turn out to be rash and quick, making you regret it later on?”
“Many, many time”
“I just feel like…I gave up something that I could have tried harder to fix. Like I thought it’d be the best for me but it’s turned out to be the worst decision of my life. I just miss…this thing…you know?” I explained, stopping myself from saying you. “But I shouldn’t miss him but I do, a lot. It kills me to be so close but not be able to have it…because I’m the one who gave it up. I shouldn’t feel this way because it wasn’t really my fault but I just can’t help it”
“Hold on. Did you say him?” he asked.
“What?” I asked, baffled.
“You said you shouldn’t miss him”
“No I didn’t”
“You did Brooklyn”
“I did?”
“Yes”
“Anyway. What have you been thinking about?”
“How much of an absolute dick I was to you”
“Well someone’s bold tonight”
“You were right Brooklyn”
“About what?”
“They shouldn’t treat you like that. And it’s my fault they do. I let them do whatever and never stood up for you when that’s the one thing I should have done as a boyfriend. Then I chose them over you and made you feel like shit and made you want to end things with me. But I see they way Ashton looks at you, and the way you look at him. Maybe I should have just taken a step back at the beginning. You would probably still be with him, with Ashton. He treats you better than I do anyway”
“What are you babbling about?” I asked.
“Ashton likes you Brooklyn. Like, likes you likes you”
“What are you? Twelve?”
“Ashton likes you in a romantic way Brooklyn. Are you even listening to me?”
“I appreciate that you’re trying to apologies, I think, but Ashton doesn’t like me”
“That’s what you think,” he mumbled.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh don’t be so naïve. Ashton’s had a thing for you since the beginning and you know it. All the flirting, the almost kiss, the hicky. Face it Brooklyn, he likes you and you might just like him back”
“I don’t like Ashton, Luke. Stop acting like a child”
“How am I acting like a child? I’m stating the obvious but you’re too deep in denial to listen. You’re too busy trying to set him up with Emilia to realize how he looks at you”
“So what if he likes me? It’s not like I’m going to kiss him or anything”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes Luke. Because like one person on their balcony I don’t cheat. Ever. I also don’t treat my boyfriends like shit”
“That’s because you’ve only ever had one boyfriend”
“And look how he turned out,” I said angrily then walked back through the door and into the hotel room.
Fuck midnight, I’m going for a run.