"Ella, you cant just leave school and run off to the cabin! Shawn has to chase after you?! What it going on." My dad yelled at me as I sat in the kitchen table with both my parents facing me. Dad was fuming and mom was more calmer and she was trying to calm my dad now.
Good job Ella now you have your parents arguing because you can't control your impulses anymore.
Speak.
"I'm sorry. I know that doesn't change anything, but I really am sorry. It's just everyone in school kept looking at me like I was a freak show or something and I felt so alone walking down the hall with everyone just staring. I hear what they are saying about me and I snapped. I think I might need to do more sessions with therapy honestly. I need help mom and dad." I spoke feeling so ashamed and I knew I was going to cry at any moment but I didn't.
You don't deserve to cry,
This is your fault so don't cry!
My parents looked at each other and then at me. They sat down on the chairs across me and my dad placed his hands on the table folding them together. My mom just sat down and looked at me.
Proud?
"Okay kiddo. I wish you would've said something or called us. But I get it trust me, I had those happen to me a handful of time in high school. But you can't let them win, don't let them define who you are. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, and you know the truth that went down. Everyone is going to say something different, but we know. This is your last year Ell's don't let all your hard work in the past 4 years be for nothing, please." My dad said as he reached over for my hand.
"Your right dad. I need help though right now to work through these unresolved emotions I have. I feel like everyone is out to get me and these impulsive things. I wanna go back to the old Ella." I said placing my hand with his and giving a squeeze.
"Well you can't go back to old you baby, just a new and improved you. Better then ever. We'll call and make you an appointment okay?" Mom said.
"Now, you and Shawn... we know, you know. You two using condoms right?" My dad said making me look at him wide eyed, moving my hand.
"What- how-.." I started saying before my mom cut me off with a laugh.
"Oh come on Ella, we're not dinosaurs." Dad said laughing too.
"Yes we're safe. I'm still taking my birth control as well." I said putting my head down feeling oddly embarrassed having this conversation with both my parents. This was something me and mom did. Dad was dad. But I was thankful my parents were just those type of parents who I could be honest and open with no judgment.
"Good. Now you might want to have a conversation with your sister? She's been pretty upset and hurt at you "ignoring her texts and calls". Mom said looking behind me. I turned around to see Trisha standing with her arms folded and she was upset.
Shit.
Your just fucking up all across the board huh
Mom and dad got up and left me and Trisha in the dinning room alone.
She looked over at me,
Fuming.
Tapping her feet aggressively.
I looked at her as I got up.
"Can we talk outside? I could use some air." I said looking at my agree best friend and sister.
She huffed and turned to walk to the backyard.
Once we got outside she stood by the door and she looked at me.
"So where you not gonna tell me all this stuff you were dealing with? Why didn't say anything today when we were at the lockers I would've blown Jon off for you. Ella were sisters now, don't shut me out now please. You know I hate that." Trisha said breaking the ice.
"I know Trish, it's just I tried to and you were so happy to be able to finally be free and I didn't want you to not be with him. But I thought I would have Shawn and he didn't come to school and I had to deal with it alone and then Jake came and he like set me off like a firecracker and I lost it. I'm sorry I really am, don't hate me please." I said reaching for her hand and feeling the tears coming out.
Trisha wiped them away and she smiled at me.
"It's okay I forgive you airhead, just don't do it again please. It's me and you against everyone kid." She said holding me face in her hands.
We laughed and we hugged one another.
I was so happy to have her in my life, Trisha was always the one I could count on in ever time of need. She never left my side and I hers. We were the original dream team and that's where we fit best.
The dynamic duo, as my dad liked to call us.
Tuesday morning.
I felt good this morning,
As I got of bed and into the shower not skipping a beat.
Trisha was already dressed when I came out the shower dressed in a flannel shirt and a black skinny jeans and my doc martens.
I loved the winter, I loved to dress in dark colors.
Trisha was always good at styling her self like an artist with a rockstar flare. She wore her paint splattered doc martens with ripped boyfriend jeans tights under, with a vintage rocker tee that fit her snug in all the right places and her famous motorcycle jacket. I loved how effortlessly badass she would look. She was a true style style chameleon.
"Hurry up E! Wee are gonna be late." Trisha yelled at me as I texted on my phone with a huge grin on my face. "Oh god, stop sexting Mendes!" She yelled throwing a pillow at me.
"Sorry." I laughed. "Take my keys, Shawn's gonna take me today. Is that okay?" I asked looking at her batting my eye lashes, hoping she would say yes.
"Are you kidding me! Girl you don't gotta tell me twice, gimme. Enjoy. Make sure you get to school on time please." She said taking the keys out my hand and grabbing her bag.
"Of course. Thank you! Love you." I shouted as she left the room heading towards the door.
"Love you too. Byeeee."
The door slammed behind her.
I went back into the bathroom to figure out what to do with my hair. I decided on just leaving my hair curly today, I sprayed some hair products in my hair to add shine, and volume. Then I heard the door bell ring. I walked out the bathroom and grabbed my bag and headed to the door
"Hey princess. You ready?" Shawn said once I opened the door.
He looked good as always.
Wearing all black was his thing.
His hair was slicked back with his famous curl to the side resting right above his eye.
I couldn't believe how lucky I was, that he was finally mines.
"Yes. Lemme grab my coat." I said reaching for my wool sweater like jacket.
I closed the door behind me, and walking side by side Shawn down the small steps to his Jeep.
Before we got into the car he grabbed me by my waist and twirled me a bit before he placed his hand on the small of my back and bringing me closer to him. I smelled his familiar cologne and it was always so intoxicating. Our eyes looked over at each other and our lips touched. He tasted like toothpaste and gum.
"You taste minty." I said as our lips parted.
He smiled at me his beautiful smile.
Seriously how did I get so lucky.
"I love your hair like this." He said playing with my hair softly.
He opened the car door for me, once I got in he closed it and jogged over to the driver side and hopped in. He turned the radio on and we began our ride to school.
My nerves were all over the place just thinking bout everyone looking at me again and more now given what I did yesterday. I began twirling my fingers with a loose strand of wool I had pulled off my coat.
I felt Shawn's hand rest on my thigh and give me a soft squeeze.
He noticed.
I looked over at him, he smiled never breaking his eyes off the road.
"We got this babe, your gonna be fine. I'll be by your side every way. I'll get you after every class that we don't have together okay, and Trisha said you guys were having lunch. I have practice after school so maybe you can stop by?"
"Yeah, I would love too. Come support my hot boyfriend while the cheerleaders swoon over you in your gym shorts." I teased.
I mean they did always gawk him and I couldn't blame them but I knew a few of them who where just ballsy enough to try something even if they knew he had a girlfriend. They had another thing coming.
"I only have eyes for my girl." He said placing his hand under my chin and turning my face towards his quickly while at the stop sign and giving me two loud pecks on the lips, making me giggle.
My nerves seemed to diminish quickly.
I felt better.
Good even.
He always had that effect me.
Making me feel safe.
I love him so much.
We got to school right before the bell was about to ring, thank goodness I had my algebra text book with me. We got out of the car , and instantly I saw Hope and her new good of friends.
Cheerleaders.
I squinted my eyes to get a better view and that's when I realized she had on the colors.
Bitch is a cheerleader now!
No way.
I grabbed on to Shawn's arm and he stopped and followed where I was looking. His jaw tighten and I felt his arms flex.
"No fucking way." He said tight lipped looking at her and then shaking his head.
She saw him looking and she decided to give him a small wave and a wink before turning to her new friends and they watched at his reaction in glee.
No the hell she did not!
I'll kill her.
"I'll kill her." I repeated out loud, making Shawn look down at me for a moment.
I meant it too.
He hugged me on my side and kissed my head.
"Relax killer, she's not worth it. Don't give her the satisfaction. Let's head inside before we miss first period and get more detention." He said walking us towards the main entrance of the school. As we walked I could feel her eyes drilling into us. I chose to ignore it.
I won.
I got Shawn.
He was mines,
Not hers.