Milo's eyes weren't leaving mine as he held a finger to the tv. I bit my thumbnail, trying to find the right words. My poor fiance's tan skin had taken on a greenish undertone. I was given more time to think when his phone rang again and he took off back to his old office, shutting the door. Shamefully, I didn't think much. I ran to the bedroom and slid on a pair of his sweatpants and my opened toed heels then grabbed my purse. Since my darkest secrets had come to light, I didn't have a problem telling Milo things, but this was proving to be a challenge that I couldn't face right then. Seeing the door was still shut, I took off down the hall and out the door.
The minute I cleared the lobby doors, I was surrounded by flashing lights, microphones and reporters. Desperately trying to escape, I turned around, struggling to push through the group, but I was stuck. The Paparazzi began their prying.
"Miss Carter, what did the test say?"
"How long have you been sleeping with your boss?"
"Is it true you're getting married?!"
"What can you tell us about your relationship?"
The effects of the stress and not eating since breakfast had kicked in. My head spun, my stomach flipped and a hot flash hit me, making me feel like a roasted chicken. Then I couldn't breathe, something about the crowd set me into a full blown panic attack. Clutching my chest, I lowered myself to the ground. They were shameless, continuing to snap their candids. My entire body was tingling with my current state. It felt like I had drank three pots of coffee.
When a familiar voice cut through my panic, I looked up and saw Archie shoving reporters out of his way. He scooped me into his arms and whispered in my ear.
"Keep your head down." I gave him a subtle nod, still battling hard to get some air into my lungs. He ignored the reporters as he backed into the building. I heard Milo barking orders at the doorman, telling him to call the normal security team. Archie set me on a bench in the lobby, but I was so hot that I crawled into the floor and bent onto my knees, resting my head on the cold tile. I didn't even care about how many dirty shoes had trampled all over it. I just needed to cool off.
"Does she do this often? " Archie asked, moving out of Milo's way.
"No! It's just been a really hard day! Thanks for the help, but you can go now."
After a moment of quiet and back rubs, I was able to breathe again. Milo helped me get back on the bench and waited for me to speak. I looked at Archie, who was watching me amusingly.
"What's so funny?" I asked, feeling pretty damn irritated.
"It just feels like justice."
"God, Archie, stop being a dick!" Milo huffed
I knew that he was only trying to lighten my mood, but it still pissed me off. I hit him for acting like an asshole. The press was on me because of a grudge-holding jerk. I shook my head and stomped to the elevator. I wasn't waiting around while he and Milo fought like children. I had seen enough fighting. Honestly, I had just had enough of people all around. It was after midnight and I was hungry, beyond exhausted and had to be up early to get to my appointment. I looked in Milo's fridge, prepared for the fact he didn't have anything but booze, sodas, and old restaurant leftovers.
Boy, did he have an entirely new world to learn? If he was going to have Elijah, he needed to learn kids don't like duck and lobster. They want chicken nuggets and corndogs. I was definitely going to have to take him to the store. Not that it would matter in the end, he would more than likely hire someone to do his shopping. I gave up trying to eat.
I kicked off my shoes and pants before crawling in bed. I cuddle my pillow, pulling the black and grey satin comforter above my head. It wasn't too long after that, I heard Milo come into the bedroom. Like every night, he took a shower, brushed his teeth and put on a clean pair of briefs, then slipped in the bed. When I scooted away from him, he laughed. I was really hungry and all I could think about was not having food.
"Come on, we both know when you're here you can't sleep unless you're touching me." I lifted my leg over one of his, smiling like the smart ass I was being.
"So are you mad at me because of Elijah? Or the way I reacted to the tabloids?"
"I'm not mad about anything, love! I just want to sleep!"
"Laynie, talk to me." He turned me in his arms and kissed me. I gave into his touch, placing my forehead to his, then groaned.
"You really want to know what's wrong with me?"
He shifted back to get a better view of my face. Playing on his emotions, I pouted my lips. "I...am...so...fucking...hungry! I strongly considered eating the carrot cake candle that Jax bought you!"
His furrowed brows and concern morphed into dimples and fondness. He jumped out of the bed and slid on his pants, then left the room without a word, shutting the door behind him. I heard the front door shut and laughed. I wasn't sure where he was going, but I was positive it was to get food. Knowing there was no way I was going to sleep until I had a full belly, I started towards the living room. However, I stopped and flipped the light on in Elijah's room. Once I examined it thoroughly, I realized it was a masterpiece. It was like something out of a home decor magazine, but more personal.
Aside from the photo of him and his son sitting by the bed, he had a cluster of small photos hanging on a thin strip of wall between to the window and closet. One of him and his siblings, one with his parents and one of us. He told Carly she would never know his children, but the big softy obviously intended for his son to know her. There was an old worn out teddy bear sitting on the dresser. I recognized it from photos Fiona had shown me. I played with its ears for a moment and giggled to myself. Something about that ugly patchwork bear made all my fears about our baby vanish. Neither Milo or myself had any clue how to raise a child, but he really put his all into giving his son a room worthy of him.
My heart jumped into my throat when someone wrapped their arms around my waist. If not for the smell of onion rings, I would have knocked the hell out of the person behind me. I hummed in excitement and turned towards Milo. He grabbed my hand and led me into the living room where I found two opened styrofoam boxes sitting next to two small cups. The burgers were huge and the onion rings were perfectly golden. When we sat down it only took a second for me to tear my burger apart. Milo laughed, staring at me. I had no shame, feeling the mayo and ketchup on my cheek.
"Daaamn, when's the last time you ate?!" He asked, wiping the mess off my face with his thumb.
"Around seven before I left for Brooklyn." He shook his head, clicking his tongue. He turned on the tv and flipped through the usual gossip channels. To my horror, my meltdown was already airing on repeat. It was strange watching myself have a panic attack. The look in my eyes made me feel like that hopeless little girl I hated. When he turned off the tv, I instantly turned it back on.
"You don't have to watch that shit."
"If we're getting married, I have to get used to this." He nodded his head and moved to sit behind me, stretching his legs with me in the middle. I leaned back into his chest.
"You haven't been this big on the news since you took that big client's daughter out."
"Yeah, I didn't think I'd ever live that one down."
"Well, you shouldn't have been rubbing her tits!"
"I was not rubbing her tits! I flung honey mustard onto her shirt and freaked out."
"Mmhm," I looked up at him and his smile disappeared, making me sit up and face him. I muted the tv. "What's on your mind?"
"A few things." He tossed his arm over the back of the couch, rubbing the stubble on his chin with the other hand. That was a sign he was ready for business. "First, I just want to know how you're feeling about Elijah."
"Honestly, I'm not sure."
It wasn't the response he was wanting. His jaw clenched and he grew nervous. "But...I want to be there for both of you. It's going to take some getting used to and we are both gonna have to learn to move out of our comfort zones."
I grabbed his hand and pulled it to my lips, kissing his palm before I continued. "We will take one step at a time, hand in hand. Remember we're in this together."
"You're pretty amazing, you know that?" He asked, beaming with love.
I picked up my drink, sipped from the straw and rolled my eyes. "Well, duh."
"As much as I'd love to drag you to the bedroom, I'm not done."
I knew what he was about to ask about, but this time I was ready. I was excited and oh so nervous. He leaned forward and cleared his throat, he avoided my gaze, staring down out the floor. The green tint was back, showing his uncertain state. I didn't blame him for being on edge. It was a long unpredictable day. I massaged his neck, trying to work up his confidence.
"Did you take it?" He finally asked, glancing at me from the corner of his eyes. Even though I was ready to tell him the news I didn't know how to spit the words out. My damn head wouldn't even nod. So I got up and went to the trash can, feeling his eyes stalk me from across the room. I lifted the pizza box and pulled the test out of its package. After walking back to the living room, I handed him the test. He looked at it for what seemed like an eternity and rubbed the back of his head.
"Have you made an appointment to confirm it?"
"Don't need to. Dr. Lancie makes me do blood work before he gives me refills just to make sure I'm not pregnant."
"And?"
"According to the labs, I'm almost six weeks."
"So we're having a baby?"
I nodded my head, getting sick to my stomach because his voice raised to a pitch I had never heard from him. It sounded like he was just hitting puberty. I twisted the ends of my hair, observing his eyes lock onto the two lines, confirming the newest Stein. I relaxed a little when the corner of his lip twitched, but he was visibly holding his reaction back. His features were screaming fear when he looked at me, making me shiver with anxiety of my own.
"What are we gonna do, Laynie?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm asking how you're feeling about this baby? You've said a hundred times over kids weren't for you." The complete and utter terror on his face broke my heart. I knew what he was thinking and I couldn't be angry. Kneeling in front of him, I spread my hands over his cheeks, rubbing my thumbs over his clenched jaw.
"Milo, this morning when I found out, I was terrified. I didn't accept it. I didn't want to think about it. All day, I've been avoiding the reality that I needed to tell you. Then, I heard you and Kace talking about Elijah at the hospital and fear went into hyperdrive. Not only do I have to worry about screwing my own child up, but I also have worry about screwing yours up too. I went from never wanting kids to learning I was about to have not one, but two. All on the same day I thought I was going to lose two of my best friends because of my actions."
I'm not sure when the waterworks turned on, but they were there and my love was working his thumbs like a pair of windshield wipers.
"Then when you left to get food, I walked into that beautiful bedroom a father put together for his son and realized, there was not a damn thing to worry about. It was the first ounce of excitement I felt since I found out. That excitement spread as fast as my love for you and I realized I not only wanted you and this baby, but I want Elijah as well."
I took my turn banishing his tears. "So, get that thought out of your head. I'm not Becca and I will NOT let anyone take this away from us. It's you, me, two little Steins and a bulldog named Aspen."
He jerked me close, smashing our lips together. I couldn't stop my tears, though they weren't filled with sorrow, guilt or regret. They were the kind you want to cry. The ones filled with hope, happiness and most importantly complete and utter love. He carried me to the room, never taking his lips off mine. I was completely ready for him to continue our celebration, but he flopped onto his back then launched himself off the bed. I propped myself up on my elbow and stared in shock, watching him pace the length of his room.
"Holy shit! We...are...having a-a b-baby! We need so much stuff." I tried to keep a straight face while he started his version of a freakout, naming off every common baby item he could think of. "Oh man, we're gonna need a bigger house!"
That did it. I fell back, sounding like a hyena. He was losing his shit, big time. He leaned over me and kissed me, still, I couldn't stop laughing. He joined my fit for a few minutes, before floating a hand down the side of my face all the way down to my hip.
"I love you more than I could have ever fathomed, Laynie Abigail. I don't want to wait to get married. I want you to be mine always and I want it to be official. I want the whole damn world to know Milo Stein is off the market for good and they need to find out as soon as possible."
"How soon we talking?"
"Next month. On the anniversary of the day you first walked into my office for that job interview."
Oh my, the emotions that man brought me. I felt things I'm not sure should have been possible. The ripples of joy, fear, faith, passion, and lust were all fused into one big wave crashing down into a decision that would forever change my life.
"Make it happen, Mr. Stein."
When he kissed me and slid his hand up my shirt, the alarm clock went off, alerting me to the fact that I had an appointment across town in an hour.
"As much as I'd love for you to finish this, we have somewhere to be."
He furrowed his brows and pouted his lip. "What's more important than celebrating this day?" He slowly kissed the side of my neck, trying to take off my shirt. When I stopped him, he looked back at me confused.
"Wait, you were serious?" I hummed, tilting my head. "Where do we have to go?"
I was sure I could never smile as big as I did in that moment ever again.
"To see our baby."