—nothing like us—
Four years. It all ended in just one day. Empty eyes, broken heart, this isn't me anymore. All I feel is emptiness and I don't enjoy the things I used to enjoy. Tears rolled uncontrollably down my cheeks which got my friends' attention. They sighed, pulling me into a big hug. Frowning, the pain in my heart starts to take over my whole body as I dropped the glass filled with a strong alcohol. The loud song in the club wasn't the one I was hearing, but how heavy and fast my heart beats. My vision starts to get blurry, my friends shaking me but then I passed out already.
Walking on our way to the parking with my friend guiding me, we're on our way going back home from the hospital because of what happened. People started taking pictures of me so I decided to wear my sunglasses as my bodyguards prevented people from asking questions such as what happened and what was the reason behind it. Turned out when I got home, my newsfeed is more of my pictures from the hospital that's remain unanswered. I decided to start a live since my fans needed to know what was happening and I don't want them to think about me too much.
"Hey guys," I tried to fake a smile. They were all replying with, omg, how are you? what happened? and other more but before anything else I told them I'm okay already and they don't need to worry anything.
Is this because of your breakup with Jimin?
After reading that question, I felt the need to gulp as my eyes started to water but I just looked up, hoping it won't run down my cheeks. I faced my phone, smiling at them and shaking my head even though my answer is yes.
We're your fans Y/N, we know if you're okay or not.
Sighing, pretending that I haven't read that statement or else I'll end up crying. I sniffed, answering some of their questions before ending the live since an hour passed already and I needed to rest. I thanked them for spending their time with me but they asked me to answer one more question before ending the live.
Do you still love Jimin?
An unexpected tear ran down my cheek and they started to go crazy, comforting me with their words. One of them blamed the girl who asked but I told them not to because it's not her fault and she just wanted to know the truth just like most of them.
"You know guys, you could never totally lose the love you have for someone. For me, it might fade away a little as the time goes by, but it's still there and yes, I still love him. I always will." My voice cracked when I said those three words at the end and tears were now flowing down my cheeks and they started sending me some comforting words and telling me that everything's gonna be alright.
As I was saying my goodbye to them, they were shocked when a fangirl replied something but my vision was blurry because of the tears forming on my eyes that's why I wasn't able to know what are they now talking about.
Jimin watched the entire live with us? Omg!!
I turned off my phone and decided to take a bath and rest. A week passed and I needed to be interviewed that's why I'm heading to that particular location and get ready. My make up is done as well as my hair so I'm just sitting down while using my phone.
"Are you hungry?" My friend asked but I shook my head, asking her to give me my charger and she did. I let my phone charge for a while and the show has now started. When he called my name, I went outside with a smile on my face. Waving to some of them and ended up sitting down, greeting the host. I thought everything's fine, they just wanted to know what's my plan about my coming up album but he ended up asking me about my ex that I still love.
"We just want a confirmation from you so here's the question, is Jimin the reason why you got drunk so bad that you ended up going to the hospital?" I sighed, nodding and I felt my heart getting heavier. One more question about him and I'll end up crying in this show.
"Also, we found out that your lockscreen is still him." Oh yeah, I left my phone charging and maybe a notification popped out, revealing my lockscreen.
"It's been a year Y/N, haven't you found someone else?" I shook my head as a tear came out my eye so a staff went near me and gave me some tissue. He looked worried just like the audience but tears were just uncontrollably running down my cheeks.
"I can't find someone else if it's him that I'm always looking for and I know that even if I date someone, I-I'll end up loving him still." My heart clenched with what I have just said as the host frowned, the audience saying aww and some of them tearing up also. This is now my chance to let them know how hard it is to accept and let him go.
"Jimin is my everything and I find it hard to accept the fact that I have to let him go because it's over now. No words and tears can describe how bad it hurts because right now a-all I feel is emptiness. I don't know how to be completely happy now that he's gone." I bit my lip and started crying but I tried to control it because it's kinda embarassing to cry in a tv show. He came towards me and patted me on my shoulder, telling me to stop crying because it's also making them sad.
I took a deep breath as he asked me a question once again.
"Did you know that Jimin watched your live last week?" With that, my eyes widened while my cheeks were still red because I cried. I might look stupid right now but I don't care anymore, it just hurts so bad. I answered him with a no.
"Yeah based on our research a fan—" he wasn't able to continue his sentence, he pulled away the microphone from his mouth when a staff started a conversation with him for a while. He nodded and said okay before the staff left the stage. It's now commercial and we have five minutes break, that means they'll be fixing up my make up before the show starts again.
When the show started, I acted tough and smiled even though it's not a real one. In the middle of his sentence, he was shocked and ended up introducing someone.
"Oh, here comes Park Jimin everyone." He said in shock and I just sat down there, totally flabbergasted and the audience started screaming. He was bringing a bouquet of roses and I didn't know what came in my mind. Right from there, I hugged him tight and unexpectedly, he did the same thing. They started screaming and the host is now in a complete aw before telling the audience to calm down and let us talk. I wiped my tears with a tissue as we sat down, Jimin handing me the bouquet and I accepted it.
"How does it feel like seeing him and being able to hug him after a very long time?" He asked and I looked at Jimin, our eyes met. My heart started to beat fast as I looked away.
"Nothing has changed. When it comes to him, that feeling of excitement that I have when I got to see him just like in the past, it's still there. But when I stare at him, I don't know if it completes me or breaks me into pieces." I answered while the host nods.
"Do you have any question to ask him?" I glanced at Jimin and he was staring down at the floor with his fingers intertwined with each other.
"Are you still dating someone and do you love that person?" He shook his head then the answer is no.
"How about you Jimin, do you want something to tell her or to ask her?" That's the time where the place became quiet, waiting for his response. He started by explaining what happened between us before apologising to me all over again. I listened to every word he said.
"I dated a lot of girls after we broke up and I know that, you guys also know that. But look where did I ended up bringing myself, to you... again. They're nothing compared to you and I know that no matter what happen, I'll always end up choosing you that's why I'm here, asking you to give me a chance. To give us.. a chance... to fix everything because when I lost you, I felt like I lost myself too. So please." We're all shocked when tears were now running down his cheeks. I wiped it with a tissue and I stood up, hugging him. When I pulled away, Jimin stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing me. I love him, I always will that's why I kissed him back.
"Looks like we all know the answer already." The host said with a little smile on his face when we pulled away, the fans were screaming and I hugged him again. Gosh, I missed him.
"I love you," he kissed my forehead and from there, I knew that I'll always love this person.
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hope you guys liked it, xoxo