"During an interview that was live yesterday on the TV, the famous Shawn Mendes and his girlfriend responded to all the rumors made up following the photos of them that were taken a few weeks ago. Even if the singer was calm and relaxed, he didn't hesitate to defend his beloved when the well-known journalist compared her to his ex-girlfriend. Better not to approach the people he loves if we don't want to burn our wings! Indeed, he seemed annoyed of the turn that took the show and Alyssa Steal, his girlfriend, made it well understood by criticizing openly and without any restraint social media and their world. She accuses them of being too intrusive in people's lives. Is she wrong? Is she right? She's probably just saying out loud what people think in a whisper."
I take the remote of the TV and turn it off since every channel talks about what I said. A sigh leaves my lips and I lean back on the couch.
"So... Are you going to tell me what happened that night and stop being the stubborn but beautiful woman you are?" Josh asks, turning to me.
We're sitting in the living room because we haven't hung out in a while and I missed my best friend a lot. I miss all my friends and also Liam, to be honest. This whole day was exhausting, working in the agency and going to the university as well because I didn't go there in a very long time. Now, Josh and I are spending the evening together, waiting for Shawn to come back from work.
"Nope..." I say and press together my lips not to say more than I should.
A few weeks passed by since the night he's talking about and everything is going well. I didn't say anything that could make Cameron hurt one of the people I love and he didn't call me or send me any message. The last time was the night I was in bed next to my boyfriend. I don't know if I should be happy about it or worry and, realizing this right now makes me anxious.
"ok... Are you going to tell me why did Jenny call you?" He asks and my eyes widen at what he revealed.
Only Shawn is supposed to know about Jenny and I.
"How do you know that?" I ask, turning to face him and furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.
Josh's green eyes are scrutinizing me and a slight smile grows on his plump lips. He chuckles at my reaction and puts down the cup of tea he was holding in his soft hands on the coffee table. Then he turns back to focus on me and I watch every single move he does.
"Shawn told me about it..." He says almost in a whisper but keeps on looking me straight in the eyes.
I can't believe what he's just said. I don't understand why my best friend and my boyfriend would tell each other what I do. I feel like there are way more chances for them to discover what happened and if Cameron knows about this, then everything will fall apart.
"Why the fuck would he talk to you about that?" I ask, raising up my voice because of the anger that's building in me but I try my best not to go crazy.
"Because we're trying to understand what makes you so lost and apart. The thing is that you don't trust us enough to tell us what's going on!" He raises up his voice as well but I can clearly see the anger coming across his eyes that are darkening little by little.
I hear the front door opening slowly but I don't mind it so much I'm mad at Josh and focused on what he's saying. I'm trying my best to preserve them from Cameron's madness but everything will collapse under my feet with their obsession to want to know everything about me.
"Don't you understand that what you two are doing leads you straight to the slaughterhouse? It'll just make your loss and mine at the same time!" I get up from the comfortable white couch and put my hands upon my head while perambulating. My heartbeat is racing faster but I manage to stop walking and stand in front of Josh who's still sitting on the sofa. "Listen, Josh... I do trust both of you and God knows how much I love you but the ones who seem like they don't trust the other are Shawn and you. And I know that you're doing this because you love me and you care about my health but this time, it's much more than only eating issues that I used to have." I end and watch Josh getting up from where he was sitting.
He takes his coat that he put next to him when he came in. He glares behind me and focuses back on me.
"You can hide as much as you want but Shawn and I are going to find out... I think that you have to discuss with him as well... Good night."
"What?..." I ask and he walks to me, stops to leave a kiss on my forehead and walks out of the condo.
I turn back and see Shawn standing straight. The condo falls in a silence so loud that weigh on my shoulders. I see his gaze that could kill me if he had the power to do so. He's furious and waiting for me to tell him everything - something that I won't do - but before I get the time to say anything, he talks over.
"I talked with Jenny." He admits and puts down his things on the island of the kitchen.
The only emotion I can feel emanating from his muscular shape is all the anger he's trying to contain not to freak out.
"You did what?" I ask, only to be sure that what I heard is actually what he said.
I pray to god that I was just dreaming but he repeats exactly what I heard.
"What did she tell you?" I ask, apprehending his answer. If Jenny told him everything, I'm going to lose my shit.
The lights of the condo are almost all off, only a huge lamp in the living room creates a subdued atmosphere... which isn't really fitting the situation I'm getting in with Shawn right now.
My lover who's hating me at the moment approaches me and his beautiful face, that was in the dark, is slightly enlighted.
"Everything! Something that you should have done instead of me investigating with your best friend with our one purpose to protect you because the son of a bitch he is, is threatening you! How many times did I tell not to hang out with him because I felt something wrong in him, ugh? Or, Do you prefer doing whatever the hell your fucking brain wants to, no matter what can be the consequences? I told you that night to stay with me in the bleachers but, once more, you didn't listen to me! See where it put you now!" He walks towards me while shouting so much he is furious. I've never seen him like that and it shows me how much I've screwed up.
His eyes are dark and wide, I can feel his heartbeat getting faster, to the point that I'm afraid he gets a heart attack. His breath is heavier as well and I'm standing in front of him absorbing everything he's telling me. He's angry because of me and he could explode but I can't even blame him because he's totally right. I know how much it hurts every time I push him away for the sole purpose to protect him while it's worse. I bring him only misfortunes since we're in a relationship and it just breaks me to realize it now. I thought that I was better than Jenny who cheated on him but maybe this isn't the worst what someone could do to hurt someone else. I'm feeding his anxiety with my dungeon and even his career can fall off the top only by walking down a street by my side. Everyone thinks so, I'm not made for his world, media find it weird that he can love a random girl like me... Especially after Jenny. His mental health and his career could be destroyed because of the person I am, and yet, I'm still here, with him.
Tears start flowing down my cheeks. Neither because I'm afraid nor because he's shouting at me. No... more because I'm messing his life up and because Cameron might hurt him. Maybe less than I'm hurting him right now but still.
"No, no, no, no... She's so stupid!" I say more to myself than for him to hear it but he does.
I walk around in the living room, my heartbeat racing up as much as I'm crying. Cameron will know.
"I don't think that she's the one stupid!" He shouts once more which makes me stop abruptly.
"Of course she's stupid! The reason why threats work is that the consequences are bad enough to scare the person threatened! Who knows how far he can go to hurt me, ugh? Well, let me tell you something, Shawn, he surely knows how much I love you, Josh and Liam! And guess what, the only way to hurt me isn't to torture me or kill me but to hurt the ones I love! Do you get it? Now that you know, he's gonna chase you all only to make me want to end my life!" I shout louder than he did because I'm freaking out.
"Well, he couldn't have had all this advantage on you if you talked to us! Don't you think that Josh and I could have helped you and put an end on everything? Did you really think that you would get yourself out of this alone? What's wrong with you??"
"He leads bets on a whole team and gives the players drugs to win and all of this without anyone noticing it! Do you really think that you could stop everything?" I say but get cut off by something that isn't Shawn's voice.
I can't read him so much my sight is blurred because of all the water my eyes are producing but in the screamings and shoutings that filled this condo since Shawn came in, my phone rings which silence everything.
My phone is vibrating on the coffee table and when I check who's calling me, my heart stops beating. I look up at Shawn and he understands. All the noises that were deafening us are silenced, which throws a freezing cold in the room.
It's the beginning of the end.
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OH OH OH THE END IS COMING GUYS!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN??
PS: this is the second time I'm publishing this part because it's the 100th chapter and I didn't say anything about it.... Well, I'm emoshawnal y'all.
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