'Oh shit.
Get out de way.
Get out de way.
BITCH, GET OUT MY GODDAMN HEAD'
Flashback
Owo
Wat.
Your weabo mind said you were unconscious. But you felt action going on... You can always sense it when it's there.
But all you saw was pitch black...
Nope. Definitely not unconscious.
Focusing, you heard a muffled voice, "ⱭցҼՂ եՀɾҼҽ'տ ʍÍՂԺ Աɑտ ՀÍՅⱭϹƙҽԺ ҍՎ եՀⱭե ϹɾⱭհվ ԹՀօՂҼ!"
You somehow, were able to translate it;
"'Agent three's mind was hijacked by that crazy phone'?"
Flashback End
"Measly scraps..." an unfamiliar, bitter voice grumbled from your mouth. Oh, you could see now... Huh? It's a bit blurry...
You were bamboozled. The paste must have gotten you. But how? It was behind Rider—
Oh. Rider could've dodged, and then the paste could've gotten you instead, since you were standing right in front of him.
Hn. Makes sense.
"You'll pay for this!"
"(Y/n)'s mind is disappearing!" the constricted Glasses panicked with concern.
"Wake up, (Y/n)!"
'ASDFGHJKL STAHP MAKING NE FEEL PATHETIC! I'M TRYING— OKAY?!'
You thought for a moment, you can think, but you can't do... Wait— could you blink?
Oh, Nope.
So you had no control whatsoever... Great. All you saw were panicking idiots, paste was covering your left eye in the most uncomfortable way possible. It was all sticky— bleh.
You wondered if it was going to be like cliche anime— and that you'd need tons of willpower.
But you brushed it off, everything would follow the plot. Still though, it felt weird. You felt frustration, was it your frustration of not being able to control yourself, or something else?
"Eh? (Y/n) is sleeping?"
"OF COURSE NOT!"
You mentally snickered, 'Guess I'll just kick back and watch... And enjoy the thrill of battle I guess?'
"The others were also being controlled!" Hachi suddenly realized.
"Correct."
Ey ey, Mr. Phoney.
"?!"
"Everything is for the ultimate goal..."
"Her to."
'Come to think of it, where's Rider?'
Failing to look around, you observed your surroundings. It felt like someone else's eyes... Such weird.
'Oh, there he is,' you thought, upon noticing he was standing beside Goggles, 'Lol I'm so dumb.'
"Don't tell me... (Y/n)..."
"Maybe she'll go back to normal if she eats pickled plums?"
Maybe.
"Perhaps!"
"AS IF!"
"Perhaps my foot!"
Perhaps my diddily darn baby teeth.
"Exterminate," 'you' mumbled, rushing over without hesitance, anticipation started to build up within you.
'Owo thrilll... Where's my popcorn?'
Not wasting time, you leaped an unfathomable height into the air. Well, not really to you.
"Eh?"
Splashdown!
"WAAH!"
'If only I had a cape with this suit... Would I feel cool?'
"Splashdown?!"
"(Y/n) just..!"
"And with such force... She's attacking without hesitation!"
'Aww ye dicks are making me feel self-conscious... How sweet...'
"What should we do?" Hachi frantically asked, avoiding your Splashdown.
"Get the paste off her head!" Goggles instructed, "Let's turn her back into the original (Y/n)!"
'ASDFGHJKL SO PUURE MY HEART IS POUNDING AND IM SWEATING BUT YA'LL MAKING ME CRINGE...!'
Suddenly, you felt a drop of (f/c) ink drip down your cheek.
Huh?
Wishing you could look, you determined it was sweat, based off it's location and other aspects.
How interesting...
"Alright!" Goggles cheered, recklessly charging, "Aim for the paste!"
Curling Bomb Launcher!
"Eh?"
Mentally, you guffawed at their bamboozled expressions, as you literally uncontrollably tossed curling bombs at them, not giving them any time to think.
"Curling bomb launcher?!"
"How can she use multiple specials?!" Headphones cried, bamboozled like people when they first learned, "spicy." ;)
"Her limiter has been removed. She can use any special an infinite amount of times."
"Infinite?!"
"Tch."
*le gasp* RIDER FINALLY SPOKEE
"I'll navigate for you—"
Ultra Stamp!
Your eyes (not physically) widened in bamboozalization.
'WTF JIMMY WHAT—'
"WAAHHH!!"
"A giant stamp?!"
"It's the new special..!"
'I KNOW THIS SHIT BUT TELL ME WHY THE FUCK THIS IS HAPPENING?!!'
"WAAHH?! THE CURLING BOMBS ARE STILL HERE!!"
You sweat dropped at the chaotic scene "you" caused. Curling bombs from earlier were bouncing off places, moving onward, and you currently were holding a giant stamp, and was frantically chasing down Goggles, Hachi, and Rider— who did not split up for whatever reason.
In fact, you were bouncing up and down from the stamp so often, that description may or may not contain falsities.
Somehow knowing that your time with the stamp was up, "you" threw the stamp at the trio, causing them to run away quicker, nearby Curling bombs reaching the pinnacle of their limit, unexpectedly exploding.
Baller!
This one was in the manga...
"Looks like she's coming yer way!" Gramps advised the trio.
"Exterminate."
"BALLER?!"
Unconsciously and frantically moving inside the baller, you hurled yourself towards the trio, wishing not to.
"Let's hide for a bit!" Hachi promptly suggested, he and the trio getting behind a box. 'You,' and you noticed this.
"You can hide..."
You super-jumped onto a flying disk, promptly whipping out a Sting Ray mid-air, and perfectly aiming it at the box.
Sting Ray!
"But that's also futile."
'FUCK YEAH, I FEEL COOL!! IF ONLY I ACTUALLY— Wait, I could do that...'
"Damn...!"
"Sting ray!"
"Hiding's no good to!"
You eyed the three panicking figures as they laughably, and pathetically scrambled to get out.
"WAAH!! We can't get close!"
"Then how's this?"
'Ah, this is the part they hit me with a splat bomb—'
Whoosh!
'?!'
'I—I dodged it?! I'm not supposed to—'
"That's no good either..!"
You realized you may be onto something. It was like you and "you" were linked somehow... Wait...
'You' is the paste controlling you...
It's paste. Paste has no intelligence— or shouldn't have...
In order for it to act, it must have some knowledge...
...
Well Sherlock, why do you suppose it's stuck to your head?
IT'S STEALING YOUR INFORMATION RUUN YOU KNOW HENTAI AND THIS PASTE SHOULDN'T—
Realizing this, you hastily concluded you and the paste's information was linked.
Well, manipulating the paste sure was gonna be hard.
It's eating off what you know...
Not think...
Mentally panicking at this, you focused on the battle in front of you.
Splashdown!
"WAAHH!"
You sighed in relief as the trio dodged your Splashdown, 'But still...'
"That was close!"
"?!"
Splashdown!
"WAAHHH?!"
"Two consecutive splashdowns!"
'Arghh, stop, me... I think I'm getting queasy?'
"But we can get close to her now!" Hachi concluded, recklessly charging like a fool.
"Hachi!"
"Wait, Goggles!"
Splashdown!
"Arghh!"
"You" smirked, you had managed to get the trio in your Splashdown, but for whatever reason they weren't splatted...
Willpower?
"Sh— she's too strong!" Hachi remarked, getting up. The trio following.
Rider smirked, "Naturally."
"That's (Y/n) for ya..."
'ASDFGHJKL YA'LL MAKIN' ME BLUSHH'
"You should submit to being used as ingredients... Yet you dare defy me..."
"No, 10,008, you are a specimen of superior quality."
"..."
"When paste is made from superior individuals... One can dominate like this."
"Don't insult—"
Inkjet!
"Eh?"
'DAMN ME FOR RUINING THE MOMENT JUST FOLLOW THE GODDAMN PLOT YOU STUID PAASTE!!'
Baller!
Tenta Missiles!
Suction Bomb Launcher!
Sting Ray!
Booyah Bomb!
Bubble Blower!
Inkstorm!
Splashdown!
Ultra Stamp!
You were really panting now.
No, really. Both 'you' and you.
Special after special, you were constantly going.
Hey, maybe you could yourself to collapse and then the paste would leave? There's only so much your body could handle...
You decided that wouldn't work as you eyed the fallen, panting bodies of Goggles, Hachi and Rider. Goggles was almost completely covered in your (f/c) ink head to toe, Hachi was inked in mostly his sides, and Rider was mostly smothered by his head and lower half.
"They won't last very long..." Headphones concluded, worried. You were worried to. Not only was this taking longer than it should have, Nana wasn't named 'Nana'yet!
"Resistance is futile."
"No. 10,008... You've been influenced by such pathetic idiots..."
"Don't insult them!"
Hey, you didn't interrupt him this time! Is that a good sign?
"They are my friends!"
"!"
"When Goggles talked about turf wars, he was glowing," Hachi explained, "By meeting them and taking tests together, my dreams have grown..."
"I... at the surface..."
'ANTICIPATION BIITCHESS'
"Am going to fight in turf wars with my friends in Inkopolis!
Slip!
"!!"
"PANTSED?!"
"Your pants are down!" Glasses cried in the air, wondering if Hachi knew. You snickered inside.
"Yeah, I know."
"He's not shaken at all!"
"..."
"WAIT! ...Y/n) is... blushing?!"
'WAIT WUT WHY FACKK ABORT ABORT PERVY SIDE EXPOSED?!!'
"Hachi now!" Goggles instructed, charging towards you from behind with Hachi charging upfront, "Okay!"
"Wait— what do I do?!" Rider asked, bamboozled.
'W—WAIT GOGGLES YOU WOULDN'T PANTS A GIRL WOULD YOU?!'
Cue a bit more (f/c) blush being dusted onto your cheeks.
"(Y/n), wake up!"
"WHAAT?!"
Splat!
Abruptly, and on cue, you felt a harsh, forceful push behind you, the push caused you to fall forward, you then promptly felt the paste get splatted, a short sharp pain in place of it, your control naturally regained itself, as you dramatically, and painfully fell on your chest. The pain continued, as you felt Goggles body be pushed onto you.
Thud!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Oof."
"(Y/n)!"
"Yo," you waved, raising your upper back. You had fallen forward, and Goggles was now on top of you... You decided to stay in the plank-like posture rather than see a towering Goggles above you.
"Hehe. I know what happened. You all flattered me," you remarked, recalling what happened. "I appreciate it."
"Hmph."
"Oh yeah, you also blushed at his dick," Glasses murmured pointing at the nonchalant Hachi.
You groaned, Hachi's pink-ish ink dripping off where the paste used to be, "It was a natural reaction." You began to try stand up, "Goggles, get off me."
Squeeze~
"Yay! (Y/n) is back!"
You immediately blushed a bright (f/c) at the sudden hug from behind, you hadn't even gotten up yet, the abrupt impact caused some of the ink on the left side of your head to flick off, showing off your blush to the world.
'ASDFGHJKL SO MANY STFU HAPP AND NOW THIS CINNAMON ROLL AHHH'
You promptly sighed as you furrowed your eyebrows and wiped your blush away, and patted the bean's round head, "Thanks! Can I get up now?"
"Haha! Okay!"
'I need to get this off,' you thought, wiping off Hachi's ink with your hand, getting up. 'Oh, there we go.'
"Alright!" Goggles cheered, turning towards everyone, "And with this, we can get to the surface!"
Cheering, everyone steadily climbed up the long-ass ladder, one by one. You at the end for some reason.
"Wow!"
"The surface!"
You hurried up, and placed your foot onto the surface, looking at the majestic sunset. You got out before closing the manhole.
"We did it!"
"We reached the surface!"
"Hmph."
"Owo spent 666 days in the underground and 67 sleeping with just Hachi, Goggles, and Gramps in the same tent. Hhhrr."
"Yay~"
"Hey ya'll!" An unfamiliar voice called out. Must be Off The Hook.
"Huh?"
Everyone, including you, looked up to see Off The Hook. Flying in a helicopter, door open. The aircraft slowly ascended onto your level. "We're here to pick you up!"
"Amazing!" Goggles remarked once everyone got onto the now-airborne vehicle.
"It is far too early for you to be relieved."
"I know, right?"
"Huh?!"
"Something's rising from the sea!"
"No shit, Sherlock."
"Wha—"
"That form..!"
Everyone but you gazed in awe.
"It's human?!"
"This is the Niles Statue... In shape of once was humanity."
"The phone?!"
Everyone looked, to see the paste-covered phone in the statue's eye.
"What a shame, cretins. This is—"
Gruumblee...
"That was your stomach?!"
"Tsk. Listen to me... Truly nothing but idiots, truly a disappointment."
"But as I thought... I must eliminate the contaminants once over."
"Eliminate?"
"Exactly."
And oof came a dicc cannon from the statue's mouth.
"I shall consume the entire world and destroy everything."
You got your finger guns ready.
"Pyun, pyun~~"
A/n:
oof
this chapter was really fun to write, not gonna lie