"The pieces are all together! We did it!"
"My my! Thank you very much!" the phone thanked, "Now then... allow me to guide you..."
The diddily darn thing assembled itself.
"Into the promised land!"
"Amazing!"
"Please step right inside, don't be shy!"
You watched as the blue team stepped inside, you really didn't want to get inside the huge ass blender.
"Come on, (Y/n)!" Goggles encouraged, unknowingly helping the sinister phone.
"Hell naw. I'm not getting inside a giant blender again. Plus, I don't wanna be a damsel in distress when Rider comes in and saves your asses," you explained.
Slam!
Your eyes widened in surprise at the abrupt noise of the door slamming against the blender.
'Ah, the door is shut...?'
"A BLENDER?!"
"WE CAN'T GET OUT!"
"So, one of you has realized I've been collecting the brightest and best for my experiments," the phone stated, as you gave the inanimate object a neutral look.
"(Y/N), HELP US!"
"Though I never anticipated such random idiots would tag along with no. 10,008..."
"Don't call us idiots!"
"Well, this is fine. You're cretins will be the ingredients to my ultimate goal," the phone explained, "For that goal, everyone shall be gathered..."
"(Y/n)! Help us!"
"...And be ground to paste!"
On cue, you casually watched as the blender began to blend— starting from the pinnacle, and gradually making it's way to it's victims. You nervously watched the idiots cry, waiting for Rider to come. How could you be sure?
"(Y/n)! Help us!"
"We're gonna be smothered!"
You sweat dropped as you ignored the cacophony that is their screams.
"(Y/n)! Why—"
"RIDER'S ALREADY HERE YE GODDAMN MAGGOT SHUT THE HELL UP!" you snapped, annoyed and covering your ears, though not sure as to whether you were right or not.
Crack!
Alert, you looked up and noticed a crack in the roof. 'Oh, there's Rider...'
Crash!
"HEY!"
"Rider!"
"Waahh!"
Smash!
You watched as Rider cracked the blender open, freeing the victims.
"Hmph. That was close," Rider coldly stated, then sternly eyeing you, "Hey, you were outside the blender and undamaged... Don't tell me you—"
"Well that's absolute shit, Sherlock," you responded, "I just decided not to get in the blender, and escape death."
"Why didn't you save us?" Hachi asked, a bit more cautious.
You turned to him, "Rider was coming, so I didn't have to."
"How did you—"
"You look like a hero, ya know," Gramps told Rider, changing the topic.
"Rider with a cape..."
"Cape..."
"Swoopy~"
"Cool!"
"Noicee."
"Shut it! I didn't pick these clothes!"
"I remember!"
Everyone turned to Hachi, for his sudden outburst.
"Eh?!"
"I was chasing after the Kamabo Corporation, to save my team mate— who was being taken away!"
"Now that you say that... Your boots have their logo!" Headphones pointed out, observing his boots.
"You mean Kamabo Co. swept them away?" Gramps curiously asked, a tad too bamboozled.
"That girl might be in this institution!" Glasses promptly suggested.
"The test facility extends above here, to."
"..."
Shoom!
You eyed the octoling who had super-jumped onto the roof.
"Hachi?!"
"Sorry, I'm gonna go find her!"
Shoom!
"!"
"We're coming with you!" Goggles peppily explained, approaching Hachi.
"She's an important friend of yours, right?"
"!"
"Ah, wait, (Y/n)?" Goggles called out, as you were still on ground/underground level with Rider, "Are you coming?"
You paused, before thinking for a moment, "Hhr... I think I'll stay with Rider." You wanted to be with him when he gets corrupted. Maybe you can save him?
"We'll follow you guys with Gramps later," Rider informed, "Hurry up and go!"
"Got it!" Goggles answered, he and his friends moving forward.
Rider turned to you, "Try anything funny and I'll wreck you."
You laughed, "Still suspicious of me? You should be suspicious of that phone behind you... Oh look, there's some paste about to attack you."
"Huh?" Rider turned around.
"You... You measly scraps of sea-food..."
"3.5–"
Whoosh!
"3!"
Drip!
—Time Skip—
Owo
Wat.
Your weabo mind said you were unconscious. But you felt action going on... You can always sense it when it's there.
But all you saw was pitch black...
Nope. Definitely not unconscious.
Focusing, you heard a muffled voice, "ⱭցҼՂ եՀɾҼҽ'տ ʍÍՂԺ Աɑտ ՀÍՅⱭϹƙҽԺ ҍՎ եՀⱭե ϹɾⱭհվ ԹՀօՂҼ!"
You somehow, were able to translate it;
"'Agent three's mind was hijacked by that crazy phone'?"
A/n: 698 words...
This is my shortest yet... Oof.
Also since I don't think it was made clear;
•You are agent 3
•Goggles is agent 3.2
•And Rider is agent 3.5
•There is no agent 4 (yet), you, agent 3 did the agent 4 stuff
Also, since we're close to Chapter 28 (last chapter rn) its gonna mess up upload schedule. This MAY go on hold cuz of it.
If it DOES go on hold, ye guys want some Splatoon x Reader one-shots or something? Cuz I'd like to keep writing Splatoon scenarios and such.
The oneshots book would allow basically everything; BDSM (rape) to fluff and borinn stuff yeah. Requests would be accepted. Songfics, angst, EVERYTHIG OKAY!
Would anyone read it tho? If ya'll that eager or excited, I may start it early or smh.
I also got an idea for an Army x Octoling! Reader angst. (actually i already started writing it smh)
But please know, I am, and WILL NOT abandon this project