(l'll edit the formatting later on) anyway, leggo.
*Play Song On Sidee>>>>*
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[Monologue #48]
I want you all to myself. I want to feel your sensational love caress my loveless body. When you kiss me, I want to feel an ignited fire between us. I'm confined in a place that keeps my feelings away from yours. I want you to free me. I want you to grab me by my arms and pull me towards you. I want all of you. I just won't tell you how much I care. I'll tell you soon, but for now, I have a test for you - it's the rebirth of my heart.
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{The Next Morning, Monday August 25th}
(Princeton's P.O.V.)
"I haven't yet for reasons of your own
But soon I'm sure you'll tire from being alone
U haven't recovered from the pain of the past
So u show me affection behind the wall of glass
But when I do finally kiss u
U will realize at last my heart is true."
I closed the book Lexi gave me called A Rose That Grew From Concrete by Tupac. That dude can write. My mind recited the poem over and over. It reminded so much of Jas'marieé. She's been on my mind since I woke up. For some reason, I was scared for her. I don't know what has me feeling like this, but I know I have to take initiative in order to ensure the safety of both of us.
For some reason, I've been having the urge to like take her down. I know it might sounds stupid or something a jerk might say, but I can't help it. I want to stop that feeling, though. I don't want our whole relationship based on sex. I know we're beyond that, but I don't want it to even get there. I have urges to kiss her as well. Not even a peck - more like a full-on. Every time we kissed, she would refrain - except for that time yesterday when I kissed her in the park. The only thing is that she doesn't know it was me. I guess it'll be me, myself, and I.
With that said, I checked my phone. I had one message from Prod, one message from Biz, and one from Jassie. I checked Prod's first.
[Prod Da G] wassooop Prince?! did you ever find her?! :o
I checked Biz's next.
[LondonGawdezz] Princeeee ! We Miss You , Cashew ! ( Peep My Rhyming Skills , lool . ;D ) But We Proper Miss You ! ♥ And You Betta Be w. My Bew Jassie . :)
I cracked a small smile at her British slang. Last but not least, Jassie.
[TheLonelyWolf] Thanks. For everything...You're probably knocked tf out, lol. But idc. lolololol. :* Bye! ;)
I laughed at her cuteness. I looked at what time it was. 3:28 am. She was up that early? Knowing her, she was probably sleeping. Knowing she's safe is all that matters.
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(Jas'marieé's P.O.V.)
I'm afraid to go to sleep.
Shadow might try to kill me in my sleep. I'm even afraid of Sevarion or Ice Gang trying to find me. I stil couldn't believe Sevarion cheated on me and hit me. On top of that, I'm pregnant with his baby. This is all my fault, anyway. If I never would've left Atlanta, me and Prince would've probably worked our bullshit out and been fine. There's no point in complaining now. You can't reverse the past.
How am I going to raise a baby? I'm still a baby myself. I'm so stuck. I don't believe in adoption or abortion, but it seems like my only options in order to have a normal teenage life. Psh. What is a normal teenage life when you have an abusive ex-boyfriend, an ex-boyfriend who is potentially in love with you, a weird golden glow, and a gang that includes your psychopath uncle trying to bang you and your ex out of existence? Normal? I think not.
Do I really want to raise a baby around this shit? No way!
I sat up in Izzy's bed, watching as the sun's rays peek through the blinds. I got up and slipped on my Air Forces. My chest hurt so bad. My boobs felt like they'd fall off at any minute. I ignored the pain from that and the rest of my body and walked to the bathroom. I took a quick look in the mirror. My cheek was bruised to a minor degree, but there were no abnormalities or deformities. I had a small scratch under my eye and minor bruises on my hip and legs. I pulled out my shades that coincidentially ended up in my pocket and placed them over my eyes. The amount of pain that could be hidden beneath shades still amazes me. I pulled all of the bobby pins out of my hair, letting it all fall to my shoulders, being that the ends curled up. I shook it out, letting some cover my cheek.
I grabbed all of my stuff, making minimal movement and noise. I headed out of the door and began walking towards Long Island Rail Road, where I caught the train back to Brooklyn.
***
I finally made it to my building. I walked up the stairs and to my front door, where I saw someone and something unexpected. I was scared, but fearless at the same time.
Jas'marieé: (nonchalantly speaking) What the hell do you want, Sevarion?
Sevarion: (gets up from the ground with flowers and teddy bear in his hand) Babe, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hit you and cheat on you. That was punk nigga shit.
Jas'marieé: You are a punk ass nigga. Get the fuck away from my door.
Sevarion: Jassie...
Jas'marieé: How long have you been talking to her?
Sevarion: Since yesterday, I swear.
Jas'marieé: Oh...I hope you get an infectious STD, you fucking stupid fuck. I can't fucking believe I'm pregnant by you. (laughs)
Sevarion: WHAT?!
Jas'marieé: Yup. Pregnant. By your conniving ass.
I unlocked my door and went inside. Sevarion trailed behind me, dropping the flowers.
Sevarion: Jas'marieé Shawnee Gutierrez, I'm only seventeen years old! How am I going to raise a baby?
Jas'marieé: First of all, it's Shawnee Lyric Nicole. Secondly, figure it out. You have eight months to do so.
Sevarion: You might be on your own, I'm going to USC.
The sound of that made my blood boil. My eyes turned red and I instantly became a bat out of hell. He triggered the wrong gun.
Jas'marieé: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU FUCKING HIT ME AND CHEATED ON ME! THE LEAST YOU COULD FUCKING DO IS RAISE YOUR GOD DAMN BABY, YOU STUPID EGG-HEADED CUNT BUCKET! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
Sevarion: But-
Jas'marieé: (grits teeth) Get...the fuck...OUT!
Sevarion sucked his teeth and walked out the door slowly. I grabbed the flowers and the teddy bear he had given me and I waited until he got outside before I threw all of his shit out of the window and onto his head. He looked to the window, all fury in his eyes.
Jas'marieé: AND FUCK YO FLOWERS, NIGGA!
He ran back inside and I ran to my front door, locking it. He punched the door and I felt a tear roll down my cheek as he screamed at me through the door.
Sevarion: YOU STUPID BITCH! I HATE YOU AND THAT BABY! THIS AIN'T OVER! YOU WILL SEE ME AGAIN! BEST BELIEVE YOU WILL! AND I PUT THAT ON MY MOTHER!
I heard him walk away and I ran to the window. He was halfway up the block and I sighed in relief. I'm so done with him. He can fall into a first-class pit to hell for all the fucks I give. Before I could do anything else, my phone rang.
Jas'marieé's Phone: (ringing 212 by Azealia Banks) Ayo, I heard you're riding with the same tall, tall tale, telling them you made some, saying you grinding, but you ain't going nowhere...
I picked up my phone and saw Prince's number and a picture of us doing ratchet faces a long time ago. I ignored the call and went to my room. I cleaned up my room in order to clear my mind. I took down all of my pictures with Sevarion and went to the kitchen. I turned on the stove, letting the blue and orange fires shoot up. I dropped each picture in,, watching as they turned into meaningless ashes. After they all burned, I smiled. I am so done.
I went back to my room and looked at all of the necklaces and bracelets he had given me. They were diamond, peridot, and ruby encrusted. Psh. Nigga ain't getting this shit back. I earned those bitches.
I put them all back in my jewelry box and got into bed, cuddled up with Tropical Tracy. Let's see if I can sleep with a broken heart.
_____________________________________
{1 Week Later, 1:01 pm}
(Prince's P.O.V.)
I was eating the last of my French toast when I heard the doorbell ring. I got up and answered it. Jassie was there, wearing a gray American Flag tank top, black shorts, and a pair of Air Yeezys. She had shades on her eyes, and she looked as if she was staring into space.
Prince: Uh...hey Jassie.
Jas'marieé: Hi dude. Let me in.
I moved to the side, giving her space to come inside. I went back to the island to finish eating. She sat across from me, with her cheek rested in her hand.
Prince: You look hungry. Are you?
Jas'marieé: A little. Got any more French toast?
Prince: Yeah. Last one. (gets it and gives it to her)
Jas'marieé: Thanks. Got any cheetos in here?
Prince: Weird...but yeah. (throws her a bag of cheetos)
Jas'marieé: Gracias! (opens the bag of cheetos and pours some on her French toast) Sorry for my unexpected drop by.
Prince: (shrugs) It's cool.
She slightly smiled before dropping it. She didn't look so happy.
Prince: Jassie, are you okay? You look upset.
Jas'marieé: I'm just not feeling so well. I'm tired, too. I'm fine, otherwise.....
Bullshit.
Prince: Look at me. Shades off.
She sighed before she pulled off her shades. Her eyes were green. She looked scared and held onto her cheek. Something wasn't right about that picture.
Prince: Jas'marieé, move your hand.
Jas'marieé: Prince, I'm fine. Just-
Prince: Jas'marieé.
A tear fell from her eye as she moved her hand. She had a bruise on her cheek and a scratch under her eye. That made me livid.
Prince: What the hell happened to you?!
Jas'marieé: Nothing! It was an accident. (eyes turn a darker green)
Prince: Accident my ass. Who did this?!
Jas'marieé: No one!
Prince: Stop lying, dammit! Did that nigga hit you?
She got up and started walking towards the front door. I followed.
Jas'marieé: I don't answer to you!
She opened the door, but I slammed it back. I turned her around to face me.
Prince: DID HE HIT YOU?!
With no words, she nodded. That was it. This nigga was dead. I looked at Jas'marieé and she was crying.
Jas'marieé: Prince, he cheated on me. He cheated. Please don't be mad at me.
Prince: I'm not mad at you! Why didn't you tell me?! You know I would've done some damage. What happened, though?
I let go of her and she stood straight.
Jas'marieé: After we hung out, I went to his house to try to talk to him. When I got there, he was having sex with the slut who goes to my school. He tried to apologize, but I slapped him and yelled at him. He...had a look of shock on his face and he slapped me hard. I fell back and he just kept screaming at me. I hit him harder and ran out. He chased me...and I looked back. When I got near the stairs, he caught me and threw me over the railing.
I took in everything she said, pissed. The last part about her going over the railing reminded me of what Royalty did to her when she was seven. The thought of that made me want to kill Sevarion. I was speechless. I couldn't even give her a response.
Jas'marieé: Prince, please say something.
I remained silent. I turned away, starting to walk up the stairs. Fuck this. I'm killing this nigga. Before I could go all the way up, I felt Jas'marieé pulling at my arm. I snapped my body around to face her.
Prince: WHAT?!
Jas'marieé: LISTEN TO ME! DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!
Prince: WHY?! THIS NIGGA PUT HIS HANDS ON YOU! I'M GONNA BEAT HIS ASS!
Jas'marieé: DON'T DO IT, JACOB PEREZ! I'M DEAD SERIOUS!
Prince: WHY JAS'MARIEÉ?! PLEASE TELL ME WHY?!
Jas'marieé: I'M PREGNANT WITH HIS BABY! THAT'S WHY!
My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. She was pregnant...by him. I looked at her. She looked scared, angry, and tired.
Prince: Pregnant?
Jas'marieé: Yes. I don't want you to do anything to him.
Prince: Jas'marieé, do you fucking hear yourself?! YOU'RE PREGNANT AND HE HIT YOU! HE COULD'VE DONE WORSE TO YOU AND THIS BABY! It could've been you or him dead.
Jas'marieé: Prince, I hear you, but if you hurt him, he'll try to kill the both of us. I can't and won't be able to live with myself if you're gone.
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. I looked to her and saw a tear falling from her cheek. That really broke my heart. No female ever deserves to go through all of this bullshit.
Prince: Jas'marieé, come here.
She came over to me and I engulfed her in a hug. At first, she refrained, but she hugged back after a while.
Prince: I'm so sorry for blowing up on you like that. I didn't mean to take it all out on you. I'm pissed at this whole situation. I'm not mad at you, but I am mad that you want to protect him. Look at my point of view as a friend slash ex-boyfriend. I love you to death and that was bullshit that Sevarion put you through. It's bad enough I hurt you in the past, and I'll be damned if someone else does it.
She squeezed me and looked at me with all intensity behind her eyes.
Jas'marieé: Prince, I still have so much love for you and that shit is serious. That's what I'm trying to get you to understand. If I didn't care, I'd let you go right now and kill Sevarion. I kept my promise. Now promise me you won't do anything.
I sighed and put my hands on her waist. She loosened up at the touch of me.
Prince: Fine. I won't hurt him. I'll tell you this, though - I'll be there for you and that baby. That's no question.
She smiled and pulled my face closer to hers. YESSSSSSSS! As soon as our lips were a millimeter away, the door opened. Lexi and Brandon stood there. Jassie pulled back and I groaned.
Prince: DAMMIT LEXI!
Lexi: Did we interrupt? (smirks)
Jas'marieé: Well...
Prince: Yes!
Lexi: My bad.
I rolled my eyes and Jassie laughed.
Prince: Jas, you mind hanging upstairs?
Jas'marieé: I don't mind. Let's go.
We went upstairs to my room. She looked around as she plopped on my bed. She looked around until her eyes landed on my Tupac book. She picked it up.
Jas'marieé: Ayeeeee! You're reading this?
Prince: Yeah. Have you ever read it?
Jas'marieé: In eighth grade. I loved it.
She flipped through the pages, stopping at "When I Kiss U". A bunch of my old, sappy love letters about her fell out of the book. She bent down to pick them up, but I stopped her.
Prince: Don't mind these.
Jas'marieé: What are they?
Prince: Nothing much. Just notes.
She raised an eyebrow before picking up two of the notes, which happened to be poems.
***Mood Ring***
I'm tired of us fighting instead of reuniting,
I want our fire to be reignited.
I really hate to see her cry,
Knowing I'm the cause,
Making her hurt enough to cut into her own arms,
Three bullets to her still amazes me,
That she would go that far to save me,
Let's cut the bullshit and get straight to the point,
Your love is my drug,
The lighter to my joint.
You'll be the queen,
Baby, I'll be the king,
If you let me, I'll change the color to your mood ring.
She blushed as she began to read the next one.
***She's The Princess***
You're my baby,
My ride or die princess,
We only have disagreements because you have my because you have my best interest,
You're my little misfit,
My all around sweetheart,
We stand together marching to one drum,
I love you until death does us part,
I love you because you accepted me for me,
Even though love is blind, you were able to see,
You're Mrs. Perez until we die,
Someday in the future, I'll say "I do" to my future wife.
It's you Jas'marieé Gutierrez, no subliminals.
Jas'marieé: Wow...I love these!
She pinched my cheek and I laughed.
Prince: I'm glad you do...
Jas'marieé: You make me feel so different. A good different.
Prince: Thanks, I think. So where do we stand?
Jas'marieé: (shrugs) I don't even know. We act we are dating anyways, besides the fact that I don't know how to feel about you. The day I took those bullets for you, I thought you would do the same.
Prince: Well I did deal with a stalker slut and getting stabbed, didn't I?
Jas'marieé: True. Who stabbed you that day? I have a high feeling that you know.
You know too.
Prince: Idiots from College Park. No biggie.
Jas'marieé: So wouldn't they be the ones that shot at us that night?
Shit...she's catching on.
Prince: Maybe.
Jas'marieé: Oh. (shrugs) To answer your question, we are...ummm...
Prince: Unofficially dating?
Jas'marieé: Sounds legit. Well I should be on my way.
Prince: (sighs) Aight.
Jas'marieé: (gets up and kisses his cheek) Bye!
Prince: Bye Jas. (pokes her stomach) Bye little lifeform inside of Jas'marieé's stomach.
She smiled at me before leaving. We went from being sad and exhausted to being jubilant and flirtatious. God, we are a rollercoaster.
I couldn't get my mind off of her bruise. Who the hell would stoop so low - and while she's pregnant? I know she promised to stop popping Oxy, but fuck that promise I made. I'm turning Sevarion's bitch ass into Bloody Mary.
_______________________________
Awwwwwwwwwwww shit! Prince finna put them paws on Sevarion! (y'all had me DEAD AF when y'all said that lmfaoo)
Hmmmmmmm. Jas'marieé and Prince...*Stevie J face*
What'll happen next?!
Goal: IDGAF, lol. Just don't write "more" or "update" because it's annoying. You might as well not comment.... ._.
*Mindless Fact Of The Day*
Before MB, Prodigy used to go to Atlantic City boardwalk and dance for hours.
Dope, right? :)