I'm so glad you all liked the last chapter :D Dedicated to Tessa because I read her story Getting Over Matt and am currently reading Getting Under Nathan, and they are such great books; so funny, romantic and exciting, that I would highly recommend them! Externally linked for you :)
‘You steal so much of the cover,’ Cole moans to me quietly two weeks later, yanking the duvet out from underneath my cocooned body and rolls over so his back is to me.
‘You’re the man,’ I mutter, grasping at the cover. ‘You should be a gentleman and let me have the cover.’
I pull the cover back and can hear Cole chuckle quietly. We’re both sleepy, particularly as we didn’t get to sleep until the wee hours of this morning. Cole drags my body back to snuggle in the shape of his own and rests his head beside mine and kisses at my neck, wrapping the duvet around us both.
‘I forgot to say good morning, beautiful,’ he says in a muffled voice.
I open one eye to see Cole staring at me and wrinkle my nose at him. 'Good morning, Flash.'
We don’t talk for a long while, as we’re too tired to bounce out of bed like most days, so we just relax with our eyes closed until I can hear my grandparents are up and about. They’re more than comfortable with Cole and me sharing my bed, but I want to respect them and show them that I am responsible and won’t just be cooped up in my bed with Cole, despite how enticing that sounds. Cole is practically around my house or I’m around his all the time now. Wow. My house. It’s weird saying that. My house. I guess my grandparents place feels like my home now and I never imagined it could feel that way. Regardless, Cole and I are continuing to spend as much time together as possible. I know I shouldn’t admit it, but I think we’ve become a lot closer since sleeping together, which can only be a good thing.
‘Your Mum called this morning,’ my Nan tells me after we’ve each got ourselves a bowl of cereal. Cole and I look up at her from eating breakfast in sync like some odd pair of meerkats. ‘She said she’s back in the country and would like for you to visit her if you wanted to.’
I spoon my cereal into my mouth and look over at Cole, wanting his opinion. He’s still the more level headed one. ‘Do you want to go and see her?’ He asks.
‘When do you have to be at the hospital for?’
He checks his phone before saying, ‘3pm. We could go before that?’
‘If you’re sure?’
‘Are you sure?’ He asks me quietly.
I twist my lip and nod, instinctively grabbing the house phone and type in my Mum’s number to call her to inform her we’ll be over this morning. While it’s awkward talking to her, the resentment is slowly fading, seeing I can actually tolerate listening to her now, which I think must be an improvement.
After getting changed, which takes a lot longer than it used to seeing as Cole insists we have time for a make out, we skip down to his car because we’re weird like that. He opens the door for me like the gentleman he is and kisses my lips before getting into the other side. The drive to my mum’s is pretty boring since Cole has a completely different music taste to me and that’s one thing he will not budge on. He’s adamant not to be turned into a pop groupie as he’s named me.
We pass many open expanses of green fields as we leave the sunny beach scene we’re both accustomed to. Soon enough, we’re there and knocking on my Mum’s front door.
It’s weird to say that I think I have changed in the few weeks she’s been away. I’ve definitely mellowed out a little more and am not as angry at her as I was. It’s not like I want to have a relationship suddenly with her, more like I’m attempting to be amicable with her after the wedding.
Cole’s brought his camera along too to show my Mum and Joseph the pictures he took at the wedding, which is sweet. It makes me extra proud with the effort he puts in for me and I’m sure they’ll love the pictures. I’ve looked through them several times now and can concur they are all beautiful.
Joseph opens the door and his smile widens when he sees us. ‘Perfect timing, guys. Your Mum has just finished preparing lunch.’
Joseph looks unfairly tanned and handsome after nearly three weeks away in Italy. I’m a little sad I couldn’t go on that holiday I had planned with my dad, but my grandparents have offered to pay for a weekend trip away once uni has settled down after my exam results, which I am so pleased about.
We walk through and as my Mum turns around to greet us, I can see she looks equally as tanned as Joseph.
‘Hi,’ I begin awkwardly, searching for Cole’s hand by my side.
‘Hello, Hope, Cole. I hear the good news about university. Well done, darling,’ she says, looking somewhat enthusiastic about me. She points to the sofa in the room next to the kitchen, so Cole and I take a seat.
‘Thanks.’
‘What is it you’re studying?’ She asks, bringing over some sandwiches and crisps. She’s trying, I can see that, but it still feels odd. It still feels foreign that my mother, the woman who abandoned me is actually showing some care and interest in me.
‘Midwifery.’
My Mum’s eyes bulge. ‘Really? That’s fantastic, Hope. Wow, I never knew you were so clever. You must take after your dad there.’
My heart twinges when she mentions Dad and I look down at my plate of ham sandwiches. I’m 100% sure that I take after my dad. While his forte may not have been with sciences, his intelligence for general knowledge always put me to shame. Joseph joins us and Mum tells him of my uni place, which he nods at. ‘Great news, Hope. I think that must be a really rewarding job.’
We fall into a lull, which causes Cole to take the lead and show them a few pictures that he took of the wedding. Both are impressed with his skill, as Joseph suggests, ‘You should apply to magazines for work experience. You know Ryan’s wife Shannon, she works for Glamour Magazine as the creative director. I’ll have a word and see if she’ll take you along for some experience before she pops with my grandson.’
‘Really? That’d be great if I could get some experience on set,’ Cole answers appreciatively, his eyes glinting with excitement.
‘Are you training in photography?’ He asks.
‘I’m going back part time while I still recover and get my heart sorted out. I had a little set back a few weeks ago.’
‘Is everything okay?’ My Mum checks.
‘Mm I’m recovering,’ he tells them positively, before insisting sharing and loading the photos with Joseph onto his computer. I know why, Cole wants me to properly talk to my mum and as much as I want to fight it, it needs to happen without the guys there. I need to be that little bit stronger with my mum on my own.
We’re left alone and I cautiously look up. She nervously tugs at her hair before starting. ‘I really am glad you came to the wedding.’
‘It’s fine,’ I shrug, not knowing what else to say.
‘He’s a lovely boy, Hope,’ she comments. ‘You seem pretty serious and nothing beats that feeling, does it? Marriage definitely feels more special now.’
‘Do you want more children?’ I ask, thinking of possible relatable questions.
She scoffs, her eyebrows shooting up in shock. ‘No. I’ve never been mother material, which I’m sure you’ll vouch for.’ She laughs but as it dies down, she looks seriously at me. ‘You know that’s my biggest regret, not being there for you when you were growing up. I don’t blame you for hating me, but I struggled. I have never been maternal, Hope. I never wanted children and getting pregnant with your dad was not planned at all. I was too young for a baby. We struggled, but I couldn’t handle it after seven years; I just had to leave and yes, that might make me a terrible person, but your dad has done the most amazing job of raising you. Every time I visited, I saw how much he loved you and how proud he was and that was all down to him. You were both much better off without me.’
Tears threaten to fall, but I look northwards and shrug.
‘I know I’ve not been a good example of a mother, but seeing as you’re going to train to be a midwife, you’ve definitely inherited a lot of your dad’s personality and nature. I know he’d be so proud of you right now. If I could, I’d swap places so he could be here for you because I know I am a poor substitute. I’m going to try, but it’s hard having to start from scratch with an eighteen year old daughter I don’t know much about.’
I don’t look at her, but feel her hand touch my shoulder, begging me to. ‘I’m going to try my hardest from now on. I want to get to know you, Hope.’
‘You can say all this, but the proof will be in time and your effort,’ I tell her seriously. ‘I don't want empty promises. I don't want you to screw up like you have done. I don’t want unnecessary drama in my life again if all you’re going to do is come and go.’
‘That won’t happen. Not now.’ And there is something in her voice that tells me for once she is telling the truth and not thinking of herself for a change. 'I promise.'
My Mum can’t help but lean forward and draw me into a hug. She hugs me tightly and kisses my cheek and I’m overwhelmed by this feeling.
This day is more than monumental. It’s the start of a new chapter in my life.
She pulls away, and bites her bottom lip before saying, ‘We’ll go shopping for uni stuff together next week or something, yeah?’
‘I’d like that,’ I say with a small smile.
‘Is Cole okay with you going to uni?’
‘He’s really supportive about it. I just don’t know how we’ll cope, or I’ll cope,’ I admit in a shocking moment of truth to my mum. She looks at me if I want to continue, but I don’t add another word. That is something a little too private for me to delve into with my mum just yet.
Cole and Joseph walk in a few moments later, with Joseph bringing his laptop over to show my mum the pictures in slideshow format. A few photos of Cole and I pop up and my Mum stops the slide show and raises an eyebrow at us both. Oh dear God, this is mortifying.
‘Are you corrupting my daughter?’ She teases Cole, clearly seeing his tongue playing with mine and his hands on my arse in the photo she’s stopped on.
‘More like the other way around,’ he laughs, wagging his eyebrows at me. I widen my eyes and nudge him with my hip whilst my cheeks blushing a bright red. My Mum clearly knows what we’re talking about, but doesn’t raise a fuss and just looks through the rest of the pictures. Seeing her so happy and smiling makes me strangely feel good too. We have to leave after looking through them all as we need to get to Cole’s hospital appointment with time to spare.
I never thought I’d be hugging my Mum goodbye, but we do and I can’t stop the smile on my face. It feels surreal, but a good surreal. I follow Cole to the car. Once inside, Cole raises his hand and cheers, ‘High five me, baby! You did so well in there.’
Laughing, I give him a high five, before kissing his fingertips as they’re linked with mine.
‘You’ve made me a proud boyfriend,’ he comments, before turning the ignition on and driving back to our hometown to the hospital. I doze off a little on the way back and am woken up when we’re in the car park of the hospital. Cole gently nudges me awake and smirks at me, his blue eyes wide.
‘You dribble when you’re deep in sleep,’ he laughs, swiping my little line of drool up and wiping it on his leg without a care. ‘Are you awake enough to go in there?’
I stretch out like a cat and yawn before stepping out of the car. All I seem to do is travel to places lately. I can tell Cole is a little nervous as he’s fiddling with the bracelets on his wrist and walking a lot faster than he usually does. I don’t ask him if he’s okay, but just hold his hand as we sign in at the hospital desk and take a seat, waiting for his beautiful name to be called out.
We head into the room when Cole is called and I can see he is nervous and trembling slightly. Cole has to go through the whole process which includes a physical examination, blood work, echocardiogram, cardiac catheterization and checking of his medication. All of this blurs past me, but all I know is that this is all very important and time consuming. He had a biopsy yesterday and today he’s going to find out the results to basically tell them if the heart is working properly or rejecting or experiencing an infection. He has them every two weeks now and for most of it, I’m just sat in the room waiting as Cole goes off to different areas to be examined, spoken to and poked and prodded to check up on him.
When he finally turns up back at the room he started at, he’s lost his spark and reluctantly sits down next to me. I frown at him, resting my hand on his knee and don’t say anything. He’ll speak when he’s ready.
‘What are we waiting for now?’ I ask after a while.
‘The debriefing on my results,’ he murmurs, rubbing at the skin of my bare hip and says no more.
The doctor enters the room and asks if I can wait outside. He’s a tall black man who is muscular looking and has dark black glasses perched on his nose. If anything, I trust this man to look after Cole and make sure he gets better, I just hope I am not mistaken.
‘Yeah, of course. I’ll be outside,’ I say positively and kiss Cole’s temple before taking up a seat outside the room. Ten minutes later, and Cole walks out of the room and his skin looks a lot paler than it did at the beginning of the day. It’s as if he’s emotionless. He’s not doing or saying anything.
‘Are you alright?’ I ask, trapping him in the room. Cole drags his right hand through his hair and turns away from me. Confused, I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his back so he can feel me. I need him to respond to me.
He covers his eyes with his hands and doesn’t say anything. He just stands there, breathing deeply before murmuring, ‘Let’s get out of here, Hope.’
He turns in my arms and I can see his eyes are red and bloodshot where he must have been crying when I wasn’t with him. Crying? I don’t think I’ve seen Cole cry once in the time that we have been together. Not even when he was at hospital he didn’t shed a tear, but now, he looks shell shocked and so sad. Alarmed I pull his head to meet mine and try to kiss him, but he shrugs me off. What on earth is worrying him so much?
‘Can we go? Please?’ He begs, taking my hand in his. He grabs his prescription and leads me out, not acknowledging the doctors or nurses as they wave to him. Cole has never acted so rudely to ignore someone, which makes me panic even more.
‘You need to tell me what’s going on,’ I tell him seriously before I get in his car. ‘What did Doctor Walford say to you?’
Cole walks around to his side and says urgently, almost rudely, ‘Get in the car, Hope.’
I don’t open the door and look over the car at him. Something is up. ‘No. What is going on?’
‘Hope, get in the car,’ he says, switching the engine on and pushing the passenger door open, urging me on.
‘No,’ I retort adamantly, pushing the door back. ‘What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting so angrily?’
Cole recoils to his seat and rests his head on top of the steering wheel, breathing deeply and sighing to himself. He looks like a completely different person. This isn’t the Cole I know. He won’t look at me and it hurts he won’t tell me what’s going on, because something must be going on. He can’t act like this for no apparent reason.
‘Well I’m driving off without you if not, Hope. I’m not talking about this now,’ he tries to reason, his chest breathing up and down heavily. But I’ve had enough and don’t move a muscle. I’m not moving until he’s told me what’s wrong. Angry, Cole snaps, ‘Get in the damn car, Hope!’
‘No. I’m not leaving until you tell me what is going on,’ I say, my voice growing louder and angrier by the second.
Little do I expect for him to actually shut my passenger door and mutter fine before speeding out of the hospital car park without so much as stopping or even looking back to see me.
I didn't think he would actually drive off, but he has. He’s driven off and left me. And that really, really gets to me. I’ve had enough people walk out and leave me in my life, and I didn’t need my boyfriend to join that group. He is and has always been the one person I thought would never walk out on me, never give up on me, never ignore me and yet he’s just proved me wrong. And that hurts. It really hurts.
How dare he?
What the hell went on in that hospital room to cause him to be so unjustifiably rude to me? How could he just leave his girlfriend, caring enough to ask him what’s wrong stranded in a hospital car park?
All I know is that right now, I think Cole Mellor is an absolute prick.