Author's Note: FINALLY ITS THE LAST PART! BY THE WAY I THINK ALL MY TEACHERS THINK I RUN A FANFIC BLOG. Literally they keep piling work on me but you know what I wrote the last part. That's all that matters. This one is long and soft™. Enjoy loves and always I enjoy reading your feedback and comments. xxx M
Two years later
"Can you lower it?" Courtney raised her voice at us. "I have a pounding headache and I don't need Ethan waking up"
I took the remote from the couch and lowered the volume. I walked into the dining room, seeing Ethan sleep so peacefully in his baby bouncer. I smiled, looking down on him. He was two months. Two months ago when I finally became a Godmother. I always felt like a Godmother, especially to Zoey and Mason. I've grown closer to them in the past two years.
Zoey finally started the first grade and thanks to the conflicting parents schedules, I was the one who had to pick up Zoey every weekday after work. Except for Fridays. I spent Fridays being out with friends or going on dates. Well, at first I spent Fridays going on dates. As for the past three months, I stopped going on dates. I was taking a break. I did meet a few great guys with some lasting and standing out more than others. They were all great yet I didn't feel as if that was important. All that mattered was that none of them made me feel complete or at least made me happy enough to want a future with them. I don't mean that in a negative way. I did want a future with someone yet every time I tried I felt that there was something missing. Something that I needed time to realize. Time away from dating. Instead I spent that time with family and friends.
I placed the remote on dining table next to Ethan's bouncer. I walked into the kitchen where my sister was cleaning dishes. I rolled up my the sleeves of my blue sweater to my elbows.
"Let me do it" I said to her, trying to lighten her load.
She looked to me, appearing completely exhausted. She had dark circles under her eyes. More darker than mine. She looked back to the sink, continuing to wash them.
"Don't" My sister said. "I'm almost done anyways"
"Are you sure?" I asked. "You look like you're gonna collapse"
"Yes Y/N" She said. "I just need a nap"
I moved closer to her, rolling my sleeves down again. She looked at the sleeves of my sweater.
"How many years do you have that blue sweater still?" She asked with a tone of disgust. "6? 7? 8?"
"Seven" I answered, smiling in pride.
My sister shook her head, turning the sink off.
"You should just throw it out" She suggested. "There are holes in it"
I looked down to my wrists that was mostly covered by my sweater with some of my skin peeking through the small holes. She was right but I wasn't going to throw it out. It's my favorite sweater anyways.
"Just in the hand sleeve there is" I told her. "I can't anyways. It's my favorite"
"You're an idiot" My sister said, drying her hands with the dish towel.
I was about to retaliate her words but my phone buzzing in my jeans' back pocket ruined the timing. I took out my phone and saw it was Elma calling me. I pressed the accept button and held the phone to my ear.
"Hi honeyy!" I said in a warm excited voice to Elma.
My sister gave me a disapproving and judgmental look. She walked away from me to the living room.
"Hey boooo" Elma said back in a playful tone. "I have a question for you"
"What is it?" I asked her.
"What are you doing tomorrow? We are going out again, right?" She asked me.
"Yeah. If you still want to" I answered her.
"Okay, good" Elma said. "I'll pick you up"
I became suspicious with her wanting to pick me up. Usually we met up someplace.
"Oooh, Elma coming to pick me up. What special event are we going to?" I asked, pretending to be one of those fancy girls.
"It's a surprise!" Elma said. "You'll find out. I'll pick you up at ten tomorrow. Bye!"
Elma hung up the call on me without giving me a chance to say goodbye.
A surprise.
It better be a damn good surprise for her to hang up on me.
. . .
"Was the ice cream the surprise?" I asked her.
"What? No" Elma said. "Why would that be a surprise? It's just ice cream"
"Because you never spend money on me" I told her as we walked the streets of the city together.
"I do" Elma said. "The surprise I got for you I spent a lot of money on"
I couldn't help but chuckle.
It was so unlike her to spend any money. In fact, she spent most of her time entering contests and raffles. Yes, she is incredible for taking me to the private 5 Seconds of Summer she won from a Z100 competition but she never actually spent money on me. I was the one always taking her out. The most I think she would spend on me is for a movie or dinner.
"A lot of money?" I asked her, not believing her. "What would you spend a lot on-" I stopped speaking and walking at the second I saw him.
Him as in Harry him. Him on a billboard that was on Madison square garden.
Harry Styles: Live in Concert. Tonight 8 pm.
"Oh no" I said out loud. "He's here"
"Yup" I heard Elma say. "He's right in that building.
I turned to Elma to see her grinning at me.
It hit me.
She took me to see him. That's why she didn't tell me about it earlier. She didn't want me to have the chance to leave. She was smart. Manipulative smart.
"No" I told her. "No. We are not going into Madison Square Garden to see him. I can't see him"
"Yes, you could and we are" Elma stated. "I got pit tickets"
"Pit?" I asked in a higher voice. "You got us pit?"
"Yeah. You said yourself you love dancing in pit" Elma said, using my words against me.
Yeah, I liked to be in pit because it's fun to dance and sing with other people to your favorite artists. Harry wasn't one of my favorite artists though. He used to be but not anymore.
"Yeah, but not to his concert" I explained. "I can't!"
"Why not?" Elma asked.
"Why would I?" I asked, becoming baffled by her assumption. "The last time I saw him I was crying. He made me cry. What does that say about me going to see him after that? It would be awkward as hell if he noticed me. Not to mention, I'm not at all dressed for a concert. I'm not wearing makeup. I'm not-"
"That's the point" Elma said, cutting me off. "Don't you want to go and show him how much you changed? Don't you want to show him that you moved on that you can see him again without crying or being shy? Come on, there has to be a part of you that still thinks about him"
I crossed my arms at her.
Of course, I thought of him. How couldn't I? He left a mark on me that I couldn't erase. I was reminded of him almost everywhere. In almost everyone. Every album cover I work on, I remember the day I met him. Every green eyed stranger I pass on the street reminded me of how his eyes looked liked home when I walked to him. Every guy I'm on a date with made me imagine if I was on a date with him actually. I did have thoughts of Harry but overtime I thought less about him. Less to the point that I forget about Harry for a few days. But then I would be reminded of him again. And again. And again. It became a cycle at this point. A cycle that I want to break. Seeing Harry again was going to make that cycle more difficult to break.
"I did. I still do" I answered Elma with her immediately becoming excited. "But I can't. I just can't."
I started to walk away in the other direction, away from the arena.
I wished I could go into the arena and dance to his songs and act like everything is fine. It's not though. It was never fine.
"So, you're going to let him still control your life?" I heard Elma ask me from behind.
I turned around to see her.
"You're going to let him stand in the way from having the time of your life?" Elma asked. "Over a thing that happened two years ago? Be mature Y/N. Show him you don't care about him even when he's inches away. He didn't. So show him you don't care now"
I shook my head at her.
I knew she only wanted the best for me but she couldn't understand what I was going through.
"Come on Y/N" Elma moved closer to me. "He won't even notice if you are there. What do you got to lose?"
Myself, again.
"Pleaseeeee" Elma begged me. "We'll leave the second if he notices you. Pleassseeee"
Only if he notices me. Only if he notices me, I can be pulled back into his world. I was always invisible to him. Harry couldn't notice everyone in pit, right?
"Okay" I said in a low voice. "Okay"
. . .
"Should we stand up?" I asked Elma. "It's 8:10. He always comes on at 8:30"
"No" Elma answered. "Everyone else is sitting still"
I looked to the screen to see the cartoon rubik cube roll. I looked back down at my legs crossed. My instincts told me to get up. It was that or I was just being nervous as hell. I put my bag on and stood up either ways. I looked to the back of the arena where the VIP section were. I was remembered of the last concert of Harry's I went to. Night two of the forum. I remember him walking and climbing over the chairs near that section after the show was over. I also remember he was with Kendall. She was probably here too. As much I didn't hear about them in a while online, I still wouldn't be surprised if she was. It happened a bunch of times before. It could happen again.
"Hey, help me up?" I looked to Elma as she asked me, putting her hand out for me to take.
I took her hand, pulling her up.
"I thought you didn't want to get up" I said, teasing her.
"Yeah but then everyone in the other side of the pit got up" Elma said.
I looked to the other side to see girls getting up. The front rows on our side started to get up as well. I guessed we were all copying each other.
I shook my head. I definitely didn't want to be here.
"What's up with you?" Elma asked me. "You look sad"
"Other than the fact I'm forced to be here?" I told her.
"Oh, come on. Stop denying that you want to see him" Elma said. "You clearly have feelings for him still"
"Excuse me, what feelings?" I asked her, crossing my arms at her.
"You know, Y/N." Elma stated. "Each time you go out with a guy, you say there is something missing. It's obvious what is missing is your feelings that you have for Harry and not them. It doesn't take an idiot to see that"
"No it doesn't-"
I got cut off by everyone in the arena started to scream. All the lights in the arena went out, becoming all black. I forgot the screen going black first meant the show was starting. I didn't notice it going black when I was talking to Elma. Then again, I never remembered his shows starting early.
"Should we just search romantic comedies on Netflix and then see what we find?" was heard over everyone.
The intro of only angel began to play as the screen slowly rose up. As other girls tried to push their way to the front, I stayed where I was. I let them go in front of me because I couldn't move. My legs were shaking from nerves I was afraid that if I took one step I might fall. I felt my heart beat faster and faster each second as the screen rose to reveal Harry. When it finally did, I felt my heart dropped.
He was gorgeous. He was more gorgeous than the last times I saw him. More gorgeous than all the photos I have seen of him on TMZ. And he was tan. Tan enough that his green eyes sparkled in this light. His hair got more curly with two or three inches grown more. His blue suit made him look like an angel. I missed him. I missed Harry.
The drums part of the intro kicked in. Harry walked to the other side of the stage, blowing kisses to everyone. I watched him walk over to my side of the stage. I quickly took a step back, hiding behind Elma's tall stature. Another girl took my place next to Elma. Elma turned around to me. She said something I couldn't hear or make out.
"I can't let him see me" I said. "I can't"
. . .
Harry went to perform on B stage, which meant everyone ran to the side of the catwalk to have a chance to touch him. When they did, Elma grabbed my hand and quickly moved closer to the barrier. We moved three rows closer to the barrier than we were earlier. I was closer to the barrier. I was closer to Harry. Close enough for him to see me. I wanted to go back to my previous spot but a group of girls surrounded me in a few seconds. I was trapped.
After Harry sang If I Could Fly, he and Mitch walked back to the main stage. He sang Anna next, staying in the middle of the stage while he sang. I was blessed that Elma and I were not near the middle. I looked in the opposite direction of Harry, trying to blend in as I danced along with other girls. The song ended faster than I imagined. I wished it wouldn't. I wished he continue singing it as long as he didn't come near me.
"What's my favorite Shania Twain song?" Harry said, reading a fan's sign.
"Umm," Harry spoke, walking over to my side of stage as he thought. "There's too many"
I watched him in fear with every step he took closer to me. I must have jinxed myself earlier thinking I was blessed that he wasn't coming to my side during Anna. Why did I think that he wouldn't? He would always come to every side while he talked to the fans near the end of the show. There was no use escaping him. If I tried to avoid him and look down or try to leave the pit, I would draw attention to myself. I was fucked.
He stopped walking, standing in front of me.
"Still the one, probably" Harry answered smiling.
He looked down at the girls next to me with his eyes landing and stopping on me. He looked straight at me.
He looked straight into my eyes.
His smile disappeared in a split of a second in the sight of me. I couldn't tell if his green eyes were filled with curiosity or anger. All I could tell was that we looked at each other for a few seconds.
I awkwardly and painfully smiled at him, giving him a little wave with my hand.
"Hi" I said in a low voice, knowing he couldn't hear me.
Without any reaction, he turned away and walked to the other side of the stage.
He just walked away.
He saw me and turned away as he didn't want to see me. He didn't want to see me.
I turned and looked to Elma.
"I want to leave" I told her. "We shouldn't have came"
I turned around, excusing myself as I pushed through between people making my way out of the pit. The security guard opened the barrier for the pit for me. I left Elma in the pit, walking to the nearest exit.
He didn't want to see me. I knew I should be happy because I didn't want him to see me in the first place but I couldn't help feeling hurt.
Two years. Two years since we last saw each other. I spent almost the first year thinking of him everyday. I imagined that one day or moment in those two years he would think of me. Guess I was wrong as always.
I walked through the exit, deciding I would stay in the food court until the concert finishes or Elma wants to leave. I looked down, keeping to myself. As I turned the corner of the hall, I passed someone. A second after I heard a familiar voice call my name. Anna's voice.
I lifted my head up and turned around to see her. Anna. She changed her hair. She dyed it to ombré caramel. I noticed she had a VIP pass hanging from her neck.
"Y/N?" Anna asked, surprised to see me. "I haven't seen you in forever! Where have you been?"
"On break for the first year" I said. "I started to work again"
"That must explain why I haven't seen you while I worked with Harry" Anna said.
Or that I tried to ignore working with him ever again.
"Yeah. It's crazy" I lied.
"It is!" Anna exclaimed. "I thought I was going to miss you like hell but Harry seemed to miss you more than me"
"What?" I asked her, in shock. "What do you mean by missed me?"
"Oh, you know!" Anna said, assuming to know what she talking about. "He asked me if I was still in touch with you. Of course, I said no because we weren't at the time but he seemed really gutted over that"
Gutted? Gutted as in hurt?
"Wait, gutted?" I asked her. "Why would he be gutted? He never cared about me"
"Well to me, he did" Anna said. "Don't you two have each other's emails? Harry said he tried writing and calling you but you never responded"
He wrote me. He called me. I didn't get the notifications that he wrote or called me because I blocked him. He actually wanted to see me.
Oh, fuck.
That's why he turned away with no reaction from me. He was angry that I didn't write or call back. I should have unblocked him.
"Did you come with Isaiah?" Anna asked, snapping me out of my thinking.
"Isaiah? No." I answered her. "Isaiah's in Japan. I came with another friend"
"Oh" Anna said, sounding a bit disappointed. "I was going to invite you both backstage after the show but I don't know if your friend wants to. I knew Isaiah would"
"Backstage?" I asked. "To see Harry?"
"Yeah" Anna answered. "I have a VIP pass. I'm allowed to bring you. Do you wanna come?"
I looked to the side of the hall.
Do I? Do I really want to be pulled back into Harry's world after all he put me through? He wanted to talk to me but I didn't give him the chance. I wanted to give him that chance. After I left him that day, I kept playing it on repeat in my head. That day, I left and said goodbye to him in the worst way possible. I wanted to have the chance to say goodbye right this time. I wanted things to be right between us. I didn't want to live with the thought I was missing something and that something was him. I needed closure.
"Y/N?" Anna asked.
"Yeah" I said, immediately looking to her. "I wanna. I wanna come"
. . .
"This is going better than I expected" Elma commented as we stood backstage.
"I'm feeling worse than I expected" I said to her.
She turned to me.
"Why?" Elma asked. "Anna said he missed you. He wants to see you"
"Yeah, but did you see his face when he saw me?" I asked her. "That was practically a death stare"
"Oh, you're just exaggerating" Elma said. "He's too nice to give a death stare"
"You never know" I said.
I heard Harry's laugh down the hall. I looked in his direction to see him still in his suit with Jeff by his side. Clare, Mitch, Sarah and Adam were in the back.
"H!" Anna called him.
I turned away and turned to Elma. I felt a rush of nerves hit me. Everything I dreaded that would happen in the past two years was about to happen. I was about to talk to him and I wasn't prepared at all.
"What?" Elma asked. "What's wrong?"
"I can't do this. I can't." I told her. "I'm an idiot. I-"
"Y/N" I heard Harry say my name from behind.
Harry.
I slowly turned around to see him smiling at me. He was practically glowing.
"Hi" I said with an embarrassed smile.
"Hi" Harry smiled at me. "Can we talk?"
I took a deep swallow.
"Okay" I said, nodding. "Yeah"
He looked to Jeff and held two fingers to him. I assumed he would be telling Jeff he needed two minutes with me. I hoped it would be two minutes or less.
"C'mon" Harry said to me.
My eyes widen in shock as I felt Harry touch my hand, taking it in his. His hands were soft and warm. A bit sweaty that I could feel his heart pulse in his hand's veins. I would have almost stood frozen if Harry didn't pull me along with him away from everyone. He led me through the hall, stopping at a corner where it was only me and him. He let go of my hand.
I immediately looked down to my hands as I began to fiddle with my fingers. I expected Harry to be angry and question me, making me feel anxious. I tried to hide some of my nervousness as I fiddled with my fingers.
"Yeh have a tattoo?" I heard Harry ask me.
I lifted my head up to see him looking at my fingers. He was closely paying attention to me.
"I don't remember yeh having an E on your fing'er" Harry said, looking up to me.
He was referring to the small E tattoo on my index finger. I got it for Ethan.
"Umm, yeah" I said. "E for my nephew. I'm his godmother"
"Godmother" Harry smiled with his eyes glowing green. "That's great!"
"Yeah" I let out a little smile. "You're not- you're not mad at me?" I asked him, staring into his eyes.
Harry chuckled, taking a step closer to me.
"Of course not" Harry said. "Why would I be?"
"Because I didn't answer your calls or emails" I said. "Because I left without giving you a chance to say what you wanted to say"
Harry looked down for a second, seeming disappointed. He looked up to me, his eyes overwhelming me.
"At first I was" Harry said.
"Oh" I said, looking down feeling a little guilty.
I should have unblocked him after a few days. It was my-
"But I was a dickhead to yeh" Harry said, snapping my attention to him again. "I kinda deserved it"
A dickhead? He just called himself a dickhead.
"What?" I asked, blushing from what he just said.
Harry smiled, stepping closer to me. I was pretty sure we were three feet away from each other.
"I was a dickhead" Harry said. "I let Kendall be rude to yeh and didn't stop her"
"Well, she had the right to" I said, pushing the right side of my hair behind my ear while looking down. "I wasn't exactly a friend to you"
"I broke up with her" Harry said. "That night of the party"
I looked up to him again, a bit in shock.
The night of the party? The night before the day I left him?
"That night?" I asked. "Why? You were happy"
"She wasn't the right for me" Harry said. "Like yeh said, what's the point of being with someone if they don't make yeh better?"
He remembered that. He remembered me saying that the first time we ever hung out.
He thought of me.
"Did yeh-"
"What did you want to say in those calls and emails?" I asked him, cutting him off. "Anna told me you were gutted when I didn't respond back"
Harry looked down, smirking.
"I think it's self explanatory, Y/N." Harry said, looking to me while taking a step closer. "I wanted to ask yeh if yeh still wanted to be with me'h"
I blushed, feeling as if I was in a dream hearing what he just said.
"What?" I asked, smiling.
"I wanted to know if yeh wanted to be with me'h" Harry stated. "Yeh didn't answer so I thought yeh didn't-"
Without thinking, I stepped forward and leaned up to kiss him. I didn't plan to kiss him. Seeing him tonight brought a rush of emotions I tried to bury deep inside me for the past two years. I couldn't fight or deny them anymore. Every time I did, those feelings became stronger. Strong enough that they gave me courage to kiss Harry.
Harry cupped my cheeks the second after I kissed him. His lips were softer and sweeter than I could have ever dreamed. I felt there were fireworks going off in my head. His kiss made the hair at the back of my neck stand up. It wasn't like any other kiss I had before. His felt something more. Something that I was missing in forever.
I slowly pulled away from him, my eyes still closed as I tried to regain my breath. I opened my eyes to see Harry smiling at me with him blushing.
"I'll take that as a yes" Harry said.
"It's a yes" I said, nodding while smiling. "Yes"