Faith's POV
"No it's cool. I'll be back in a second. Just hold our table okay?"
Um, sure, I guess.
"Okay."
She leaves the table and goes into the crowd and I lose sight of her.
She was kinda distracted, almost like she had something else on her mind. I hope our ice cream shop talk didn't make her feel uncomfortable being around me. We admitted how we feel about each other, that's a good thing right? She's right though... about it being a bad idea for us to get involved what with my lack of memory and all.
But I don't know how long I can do it. The way she looks at me when she smiles, or laughs, it makes me weak in the knees. I don't know how long I can go without wanting to grab her and make out with her. We're spending all this time together, plus I bet these life and death situations we keep getting into can't be helping.
I take a sip of this drink I keep nursing.
I don't exactly know what it is except that it's alcohol and it tastes pretty good.
I look around at the crowd, Buffy's nowhere in sight.
She's been gone a few minutes. I hope everything's okay.
I get up to see if I can get a better look of the crowd. I think I see her talking to someone but I'm not sure. I move away from the table and I catch a glimpse of her.
Who's she talking to? I should go find out.
I start walking toward Buffy. She stops near the stairs.
What is she doing?
I get closer to her.
Oh god, what is she doing? She's, she's kissing... she's kissing him.
I drop my drink and it breaks on the floor. Buffy stops kissing Spike and looks over at me.
I... I can't... she didn't... she wouldn't...
"F-Faith..."
I... I should go...
I turn around and head for the door.
"FAITH! WAIT!"
I don't stop as I head out the door but I don't get far. Someone grabs me and turns me around.
I can't believe she kissed him.
"Faith wait, let me explain."
Explain? What's there to explain?
"You don't have to explain anything, it's okay."
Keep telling yourself that, just keep telling yourself that.
"But I do, I need to explain what you saw there."
"It's all right Buffy. You don't have to explain to me why you had your tongue in Spike's mouth."
"N-N-no... no tongues, there were no tongues. It was tongue-less."
"It's like I said, you don't have to explain to me. It's not like we're involved."
I turn around and start walking away though I have no idea where I'm going since I live with Buffy. She follows me and gets in my way.
"Faith look, I know technically we're not involved but we might as well be. You know how I feel about you."
"Okay that's just it. I don't know how you feel about me."
"What do you mean? I thought..."
"Well you thought wrong, I mean, come on Buffy... you say you have feelings for me but, you don't want us to get involved because it wouldn't be right..."
"Well... yeah, I thought we agreed about that."
"Meanwhile you're still involved with that army boy Riley..."
"I can't change how I felt about him once upon a time."
"No, you can't... but let's not forget your little tongue twister back in there."
"Okay um... here's where I was gonna explain I, I had a good reason for kissing Spike I... I did it for you."
I don't see how that works.
I look at her kinda weird.
"How does that work exactly?"
"Okay so I realize that might sound kinda weird but I had to be sure... I had to be sure that what I felt was more than just normal college experimental stuff that sometimes happens."
I'm almost not sure I wanna know.
I take a step forward.
"And?"
"It's definitely more than just college stuff..."
She reaches out and brushes the hair behind my right ear. My heart skips a beat as she gets a little closer to me.
"Faith... I think... I'm falling in love with you."
I feel my whole body heat up as she says those words. I put my hands on her hips. I pull her closer and she barely resists.
"Then prove it."
I can feel her breath on my lips and it makes me lick her top lip.
"You say you're in love with me then prove it, kiss me."
I feel her hand on my cheek.
"F-Faith..."
"Buffy..."
I know she wants to, but I won't do it for her.
"Faith I... I... I can't..."
She pushes me away and I let her go.
She couldn't do it.
"Why not?"
"It... it wouldn't be right..."
She keeps saying that.
"You keep saying that but it doesn't change the way we feel."
"No it doesn't..."
"Then why can't we just... act? I'm not asking you to marry me. All I'm asking for is for you to kiss me. Why is that so hard? It's just a kiss."
"B-Because... one kiss will lead to another, and then another and that will lead to... OTHER stuff which... fun as that stuff might be, would only end up hurting both of us."
"Why?"
"Because... because sooner or later you'll, you'll get your memory back and then, and then everything will change and, and probably not for the b-better. I couldn't take it if, if that happened. I don't know if, if I could live with myself... knowing what we had, what we could've had."
She's already planning for the worst.
"Buffy you've already decided that it's not gonna work out between us and we haven't even done anything yet. You can't know what's gonna happen, it's not like it's written anywhere or anything."
"B-But it is, I mean, I think it is... there's a prophecy thing those vampire cultish guys are afraid of. Prophecies never end well."
"Okay but there's no way to know for sure that this prophecy is even about us, or you for that matter."
"What do you mean?"
"Well if you haven't noticed these vampires do seem to want me dead more than anyone else, you just happened to be there to save my life every time."
She starts to walk away and then turns around.
"Okay but that just proves my point. What if I'm not there the next time you get attacked? Or what if I'm there but I can't help you stop them? You could die, or both of us."
"Okay but there's no way to know for sure. Buffy we can't put our lives on hold because of what might happen."
I walk over and take her hand in mine and place it on my chest.
"We feel something for each other and that's all that matters."
She looks down at her hand on my chest. I'm sure she can feel my heart pounding in my chest. Her hand starts shaking.
"F-Faith I... I..."
She takes her hand away.
"I can't..."
I turn around and start walking away.
"Then maybe I should go find some place else to stay I-I don't think I can sleep in the same room with you."
I hear her come after me and grab my left arm. Her touch makes me stop in my tracks.
"Faith wait, don't... we're, we're stronger together and, and until we know what we're dealing with we'd... I'D feel better if you stayed with me."
I feel her take my hand in hers and I look into her longing eyes.
I don't have the heart to turn her down.
"All right..."
We start walking away from the Bronze, home to Buffy's dorm room.
Oh wait...
"What about Spike?"
She shrugs it off.
"Meh, he's evil. He'll get over it."
I guess she's right.
She kisses my hand and we walk home, hand in hand.
She may want to do the right thing but she can't do the right thing forever. Sooner or later I'll get her in a place where I can kiss her, and when I do, she'll kiss me back. I know it.