"Lys... You're crying on the pictures and headlines are assuming and building a wrong story about what really happened.." He admits and my heart drops off.
I wasn't excepting this at all but I don't know how I should feel about it. Should I be relieved or should I fear the consequences of the worst night of my life?
"What are the headlines saying?" I ask, not sure if I really want to know the answer but he takes the speech before my brain has the time to wonder too much about this.
"They-" he starts but the waitress comes to us and stands at the end of the table to take in notes our orders.
She's a tall brunette with a huge smile illuminating her face and her ocean blue eyes that could mesmerize everything and everyone she looks at. Both, Shawn and I are staring at her, but he quickly looks down at the menu and orders what he wants.
"Same," I mumble when she turns to me, without even knowing what Shawn ordered.
The girl steps back and walks back to the kitchens. Something about her troubled me and I don't know what and why but I slightly shake my head and focus back on Shawn.
I look straight into his hazel eyes and he says what he was about to before the waitress cut him off.
"They saw you crying and some are saying that we broke up, others are saying that I cheated on you and the craziest are assuming horrible things... Like... Like I'm beating you..." He flees my gaze a second and glares down as if he was hiding.
"What?" I ask, almost in a whisper so much I find this assumptions stupid and built up out of nothing. "Why would they think that? I was just crying!" I say, frowning and trying to understand because I've never heard something as absurd as this shit.
"I don't know, I probably pulled you by your arm to make you stay or I maybe had a gesture like that and they thought something else than what really happened." He clears his throat as to avoid a sob or something because when he looks back at me, his eyes are sparkling and he seems worried.
I put my hand over his, on the table, and cuddle it a bit.
"I'm so sorry... I didn't think that crying outside would be that dangerous for you and your career... I didn't want to make people think you are a bad person..." I drown myself in apologies but he stops me and takes my hand in his.
"Don't apologize, you cried because of me and these are just wrong rumors, it's not your fault. Plus you didn't want anyone to know about us especially because of this kind of situation but I totally messed this up and I'm sorry. Now, don't worry about this..." he admits but I can't manage to stope thinking g about this.
So many questions cross my head and I feel like I'm gonna do a break down.
"I'll need your help though..." he says and I nod . "I have an interview in two days and Andrew thought that your presence with me at it would help us shutting down these rumors... but I understand if you don't want to, I mean, I know I'm asking you too much-" he starts rambling as he always does when he gets nervous like that but I cut him off and reassure him before he gets even more anxious.
"I'll attend it and answer if they ask me anything." My hand still in his, I slightly smile at him but he's still frowning.
"Lys... you're not obligated to.."
"I know but I want to" I end and a smile remplace his worried expression.
As soon as I finish my sentence, the beautiful waitress comes back to us with our plates and leaves us again so we can eat quietly.
I watch him smiling at his food and taking his fork to move the portion to his mouth but before he has the time to taste it, his phone rings and a sigh leaves his lips.
"Don't you pick up?" I ask and he nods no, not even checking who's calling. "It could be important"
"It isn't" he ends.
***
About an hour passes away since we got in the restaurant but now we're in the car looking at my parents' house. None of us is talking but it's a soothing silence during which I'm thinking about what I could tell them.
"Shawn... I'm afraid..." i say, still staring at the front door from where I'm sitting.
"What are you afraid of?" He turns his head to me but I don't move.
"What if they don't care anymore about me?" I say and look back at him.
He fully turns to me and takes my left hand in his.
"They're your family, Alyssa and they love you. Even if you think that the world is against you because they lied to you or acted wrong with you, they probably had reasons. I'm not saying that what they did is right but a family is all the people who help each other to get through tough times, a family is also all the people who love each other and you grew with them and had a beautiful childhood right? You do whatever you want but you can't just erase them from your life as if they have never existed because you'll never fill their love. Whatever you do and whoever you meet, even though they fall madly in love with you, it would never replace your family. You can try as hard as you want to forget but you'll just feel empty... especially when you'll feel low and off, they'll be there for you and to comfort you." he says, cupping my cheek with his hand and moving it to my hair.
He's right and admitting it makes me understand how big the hole in my heart was since I left my parents' house. A knot forms n my throat but I struggle not to break down in tears so I breathe in and out as quietly as I can and hold back all the tears that threaten to come out.
"You're talking as if you know it..." I say and an awkward chuckle leaves my lips when my eyes meet his worried gaze.
"I do... when I'm on tour and far from my family... It can look like I'm the happiest when I'm performing with my team and I am, I'm living my best life but I always miss my parents and sister so I remember what my dad told me once... he told me to stay with him, that everything will be alright and that even if he doesn't see me often, I'm always on his mind.... he doesn't know what I can go through but he reminds me that there's so much life ahead of me and that it won't slow down no matter what I do so I just gotta hold on... And he's talking about how everything went by way too fast while I was so young. These few words mean a lot to me and help me way more than anything else... Lys, I'm just trying to show you how a dad and a mom are important and that forgiving them would only make things better..." he ends his long speech which makes me feel even more empty than I already was.
I don't want to feel sad or empty anymore, I don't want my relationship with my parents to stop me from being a happy woman. I don't care anymore about how bad they hurt me, I just want to feel lighter and this is the only way to heal my mental health.
A lonely tear runs down my cheek and the knot that was forming in me fades away.
"thank you for being the person who you are, I love you. Don't ever doubt that" I say, wiping away the tear and the only response I get from him is his lips on mine.
-----
Hi, lovelies!!! I'm so sorry for taking so long to update but since school started again, I'm overwhelmed with all the work!!
Love you all <3
------