Warning: possible anxiety or PTSD triggers
"Ahem..." Tony loudly coughed. "You two busy or what?" He added with a devilish smirk while suggestively pointing his index finger between the two of us.
"I'm gonna go with or what." I roughly gulped with widened eyes at even the mere insinuation of something more intimate between me and Barnes. God I am such a child.
"Good, because we have a little mission idea for the little shit." He continued with a coy smile as I buried my face into my palms trying to prevent myself from fueling the fire of his comments.
"Oh really? Explain?" I implored with arms folded flush against my chest and a peak of interest following the last word while my chin lifted upwards motioning for him to continue.
"Tony, it's not a good idea." Steve interrupted curtly nudging his shoulder while shushing him by the look in his eyes and the intense crease forming between his knitted brows.
"Isn't everything he does?" I acknowledged in a tantalizing tone while tilting my head towards him as Tony casted me an unamused stare.
"I'm pretty sure you're the one who got your scrub ass shot down by a task force because you were curious, correct?" He quipped in return as I averted my gaze to the ground, for once he was actually right.
"You two." Steve exasperatedly sighed palming his forehead.
"Damn, anyways! We were considering heading back to your flat to grab some of your personal items." Natasha scoffed positioning herself in front of the two oafs quarreling like an old married couple, amazed by their inability to properly communicate a simple thought.
"We?" I widely smiled lifting my brow towards the three of them.
"As in... not... you..." She replied with a frown. "For safety purposes." She added.
"Oh, right. Right." I awkwardly laughed mindlessly tucking rouge strands of hair behind my ear.
"Anything specific you miss?" Natasha asked trying to break the hovering silence.
"My iPod please, please." I sheepishly pleaded immediately embarrassed by the words rolling off my tongue.
"iPod? Damn, what is this 2005?" Tony teased failing to stifle back an amused laugh.
"Well my phone was blown to shit so yes, a damn iPod. That's the only other thing that all of my music is on." I spat back at Tony with a curt smile and my head tilted towards my shoulder.
"Ok then, that's a start." Natasha exhaled a breathy laughter as Tony stood jokingly offended.
"So I'm guessing you like music?" Bucky knowingly asked trying to piece fragments of information about me together.
"More like love or adore." I playfully corrected intentionally over exaggerating my pronunciation of the two affectionate words.
"Ok, we get it, we get it." Bucky laughed with a sloppy grin gesturing with open palms for me to calm down out as my eyes warned him to stop with a sharp stare.
"So, is that all?" Natasha inquired tilting her chin upwards towards me.
"I don't want to be difficult..." I timidly replied not wanting to cause more problems then necessary.
"Damn it Wilder, just tell us the shit you want! This isn't rocket science!" Tony fumed irritated at how considerate I was all the damn time.
"First of all, calm the hell down," I sternly demanded as my expressive features informed Tony to shut his incessantly running mouth, "And second of all my camera would be nice to have?" I added thinking of grounding objects sure to provide a more docile aspect to my life flipped upside down.
"Was that so hard?" Tony murmured under his breath, careful not to catch my attention.
"Ok, ok, enough you two." Steve interrupted as Tony and I locked eyes and angrily glared daggers at one another.
"Well, we'll get on it as soon as you two can get your shit together." Natasha scolded for what felt like the one-hundredth time while rolling her eyes at Tony's resolute stare.
"Wonder what else we might happen to stumble upon..." Tony suggestively smirked with raised brows eager to get a response from me, intentionally trying to get under my skin.
"God..." I sighed pinching the temple of my nose. "Stay out of my damn drawers, Stark." I spat flustered by his remark as Tony's eyes began to wander causing me to angrily walk away flicking him off.
"And that's how you shut a Tony up." Wanda applauded in a soft tone lifting her eyes from her cup swirling with steaming tea.
"Are you sure I can't come?" I asked once more turning on my heel to face the Tony and Steve one last time, hoping my fluttering lashes would do the trick.
"Rogers?" Natasha asked glancing towards Steve.
"Stark?" Steve asked as the three of them stared at one another engaging in a quiet conversation as I aimlessly waited for a response.
"As long as you promise not to get your clumsy ass shot up again." Tony sighed with a shrug of his shoulders while his hands dug into his pockets; meanwhile, Bucky's eyes visibly widened at his words.
"I promise!" I zealously shouted instantaneously attempting to contain the bubbling joy emitting from my response and stabilize my composure.
"Stark?" Bucky whispered with an evident sense of uneasiness lacing his words trying not to come on too strong and reveal his obvious feelings; however, his nervous mannerisms and wired nerves spoke louder than his words.
"You can come too, Barnes." Tony purposely raised the volume of his response as the all too familiar warmth alerted me that my cheeks were exposing my ridiculous feelings.
"Damn you, Stark." Bucky huffed under his breath with his head hung low trying to avoid eye contact with me at all costs.
Hours seemed to pass as the entire team lectured me on safety protocols, every possible outcome and response that should be taken, and after the umpteenth scenario my thoughts started to wander outside the confines of building in sheer boredom; however, I swallowed my pride regardless, due to me ending up here on the account of my own stupidity.
"Are you sure she can handle this?" Steve reiterated snapping me back into reality, not even attempting to conceal the worry rolling off his tongue and creating a thin line between his twisted brows. Almost as if his tone and delivery were meant to remind me of the helpless state I was found in previously.
"Rogers, I've got this." I reassured with a small smile briefly placing my hand atop his forearm in the attempt to console him; trying to dismiss the way his cheeks became flush as soon as my hand brushed his skin.
"I feel like you probably said that while chasing down some mercenaries..." Tony reminded raising a brow towards my all too confident state of mind.
"I just sat through 5 hours of information, protocol, and safety. There's no way I'm not going." I answered crossing my arms. "Can't shake me that easily..." I smugly winked.
"Okay, everybody in their groups. Avengers, let's take little miss independent to get her iPod." Tony sarcastically shouted as an apparent jab while claiming the attention of the room; my jaw dropping at his need to constantly one up my witty comebacks. "Ready?" He mockingly winked in return.
"Fuck you, Stark." I sneered as he inched away at the venomous tone dripping from my lips.
"And you just kiss your mother with that mouth?" Tony dramatically gasped while playfully clutching his chest offended by my foul language.
"If I had one, than yes, I fucking would." I continued with a dry chuckle as Tony bit his lip in regret.
"I- I didn't mean to-" He began feeling a pang if guilt prod at his gut.
"It's alright, big guy." I smiled briefly patting him on the shoulder.
I found myself admiring the scenic views once again; however, this time the only thing Bucky seemed to pay any mind to was me. There was an unmistakable look of worry and distress shown clearly in his eyes and he couldn't seem hide it.
"The city." I blissfully sighed as the tranquil mountains and trees gradually faded from view and the hustling city filled my longing eyes, soft, gentle hues of pastel colors painting streaks across the fragments of sky visible beyond towering city buildings.
"Good to be back?" Bucky inquired noticing my comment and the way my eyes glimmered at the sight of the twinkling city lights approaching.
"Yes." I blissfully smiled remembering every intricate detail of my home sweet home as the car slowly pulled up in a somewhat close proximity to my quaint flat and I couldn't help but childishly grin.
"Okay, Rogers you're in front. Thor, watch her six. Me and Barnes have the remaining sides covered. Wilder, there's absolutely no way anything can happen with this avenging square surrounding you." Tony explained over his shoulder as the car came to a complete stop, the gentle humming once vibrating the car's interior ceasing while the jingling of the keys exiting the ignition alerted me that it was time to move.
"10/4" Steve nodded as Bucky chivalrously extended his hand as soon as my head whipped around to face the door suddenly opening. My senses perking up as my nostrils caught the fragrant breeze contrasting against the once still atmosphere.
Walking down the dim lit sidewalks felt refreshing, I saw hustling citizens, flashing street lights, smelled the delectable street food, heard the cussing drunkards, and simply saw New York in its fullness. However, the melancholy feeling of someone's eyes watching me thickly hovered over my shoulders; and I couldn't seem to shake it.
"Everything ok?" Bucky asked gently nudging my shoulder, attentively observing my anxiously darting eyes.
"Yes, I-" I began as two soulless eyes, hidden under a hat and floppy hood, caught mine, then quickly fled at the sight of my avenging square. My breath hitched inside my chest as time seemed to stop. All of my surroundings blurred out of focus and I stood deathly still, completely disappearing from the life in front of me. In an instant memories quickly flashed before my eyes, even the ones I thought I buried, becoming a lucid dream as tears rolled down my cheeks. I was somehow reliving my excruciating past, all of it. As a result, my body caved under the tremendous pressure, and the only natural instinct was to crumble to my knees, sloppily falling the onto jagged concrete.
"Hey, you alright?" Tony asked trying to lift me to my feet, instantly worried as he caught a glimpse of my face turning ghostly pale.
"Kate?" Bucky asked confused. "Hey, what's wrong? Kate?" He added grabbing my trembling shoulders within his grasp and worriedly staring into my glassy brown eyes. "Tony?" He spoke aloud casting a confused stare over his shoulder while quickly scouting the perimeter. Not hesitating to secure me close to him.
"Buck, bring her inside. Now." Tony sternly instructed as Bucky gently lifted my limp body and carried me into the flat. Tony, Bucky, Steve, and Thor surrounded my bedside and awaited a response from me, flinching at every movement I made.
"Tony we have to do something, now." Steve worriedly reiterated after nearly fifteen minutes of silence, staring at my seemingly lifeless body, and the puddle of tears soaking my bedding.
"Hold your horses, Rogers. There's nothing we can do..." He solemn replied feeling completely helpless.
After quite some time, an obnoxious ringing returned to my ears and a blinding light seared my flickering eyes.
"No!" I screamed entering back into reality only to be greeted by Bucky's worried face and the rest of the boys towering over me with wide eyes.
"Hey, Kate. Look at me." Tony asked tenderly as while cautiously inching closer towards me.
"Tony?" I replied confused, observing my surroundings only to realize I was home, his hands steadying my composure.
"What happened?" He added as I nervously bit my lip and sat in complete silence.
"Kate, please." Bucky pleaded as Tony let us be, standing by Steve in the dimly lit background. "What happened, no bullshit." He eagerly asked once more searching for an answer while his scanning eyes tried to decipher the range of emotions coursing through my thoughts.
"I- I..." I stammered as my eyes began to well up with an ocean of steaming tears and without hesitation Bucky quickly cradled me in his arms as I became completely consumed by his embrace. In an instant my seemingly crumbling world didn't matter, all that mattered was that Bucky cared about me. My hurt, my problems, just me. Little did he know what the problem was...
"Tony, what was that?" Steve whispered confused, careful not to attract any attention to his question.
"Is she alright?" Thor added in unison with Steve hoping for a pleasant answer to lighten the dark and eery mood casting a disquieting feeling between them.
"I've never seen anything like that." Tony vaguely answered just as dumbfounded as the rest while observing my obvious angst from a safe distance, almost feeling the weight on his own shoulders like it was his fault. I said she could come, I was the deciding factor.
"Well, something's definitely wrong." Steve replied trying to add at least something to the conversation, even if it was painfully obvious, while discerning the sheer panic etched across Bucky's facial expressions. He knew something was wrong, he'd never seen such a look painted across his best friends face.
Who else wants an avenging square? I sure as hell want one 🙋🏻♀️ Thank for reading friends 😩💞
Xx -Maddy❤️