Anna
My family is complete, my parents and my brother. The Tengs also here except for Jeron and Jeric. I don’t want to dwell on their whereabouts as of the moment.
My Mom pulled some strings to bring in Jenna. Everybody’s here to support me since they already saw our little angel when she was in the nursery.
My heart is beating so fast that I can barely breathe. According to the nurse, Jenna will be here in a few. We are all excited but I feel there’s something missing. I just shrugged it off and chatted with Almira.
“She’s the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world, Ach,” Almira said. I smiled at her dearly.
“I bet she is,” I told her.
“She looks exactly like you, shape of face, the nose, the cheeks, except for the eyes though. She got the famous Teng eyes,” Almira proudly said.
“Teng eyes agad, Shob? Nakita mo na bang dumilat si Jenna?” Tito Alvin teased his daughter. “Hindi pa nga dumidilat yun eh.”
Almira rolled her eyes to her father. “Excuse me, Daddy. I saw her open her eyes already.”
“Panung hindi? Ginawa niyo kayang tambayan yung harap ng nursery room. Kayo ni Mommy,” Achi Alyssa said. I smiled at them.
“Tita Belle was with us din kaya,” Almira said with a smug look on her face. I looked at my Mom and she has her guilty face on which made us all chuckle.
“Nobody can resist Jenna. She’s the cutest,” my Mom said. We all smiled and agreed to her.
“Even if I haven’t seen her. I know and feel that you’re all right. She’ll be an angel,” I told them.
“Duh, you’re the Mom, Ach. You’re kind of obligated to say that,” Almira said which made us all laugh.
“So you are saying that Mom was kind of obligated everytime she says you are pretty?” Achi Alyssa tried to tease her sister.
“Nope. She’s telling the truth,” Almira said in a blink of an eye with proud face. “Diba Mom?” we all looked at Tita Susan. She nodded like she has no choice because Almira was looking at her sharply. We all laughed at Almira’s expense.
“What did we miss?” I heard someone said when the laughter died down. We all looked to the door and it was Jeric and Jeron. It was Jeron who said that.
“Mom just said that you’re her ugliest child,” Almira abruptly said and suck her tongue out her younger brother.
“No, I’m not. You are,” Jeron rebutted. Almira just rolled her eyes at Jeron.
“Ahia, what are you looking for?” Almira said. We all turned to him and he seemed to be looking for something.
“Are we too late?” he asked. “Did they brought her back to the nursery?” he asked with weary eyes. He’s pertaining to Jenna.
My Mom who was nearest to him gave him a tap. “Nope. Just in time,” she said and smiled at him.
Jeric smiled back at her with relief. I hate myself falling for that smile over and over again. He caught me looking at him. He flashed another lovely smile and my heart dropped. I looked away from him as the whole room went silent.
“Hey babe,” Jeric said.
I turned back looking at him, sharply. “What are you doing here?” I tried to be strong in saying that.
“Anna…” Dad reprimanded me.
“Tito, it’s alright,” Jeric interrupted him then went back to me. “I’m sorry, babe. I just need to be here. I’m staying away as long as this day is done.” He smiled and I know both our world just collapsed.
“Please, Achi, ceasefire muna kayo. For Jenna,” Almira said.
I still don’t want him here but I had no choice. They already played the Jenna card. I looked away and stared at the blue sky outside the window. I’ll just ignore him, as if I can do it.
“Ahia, dito ka,” Almira offered her seat beside me to Jeric. He hesitated and looked at me first as if asking for permission. I just ignored him and busied my eyes wth the boquet of flowers bside me.
“Okay lang Shobe. I’ll stay here,” Jeric said and stayed near the door.
There was an awkward silence until my Dad change the topic and discussed business with Tito Alvin. The mothers went on their usual stuff. Almira talked to Achi Alyssa about an upcoming event. Jeron and Toni are talking basketball.
Jeric was silent on the corner. I didn’t look at him directly. I just know he was silent because I can’t hear him. I took the courage to look at him. I caught him looking at me. He smiled a sad smile, a painful one. I can tell that he wants to be beside me. I know that look. I miss him too.
“Stop being stupid,” it was my mind telling heart. I immediately broke the eye contact with Jeric. But my heart can’t take it anymore. It ordered my eyes to look back at him. When they did, I saw him looking down the floor, his hands cover his face.
It was painful as hell to look at him like that. But then again, my mind convinced every cell in my body to not trust him anymore. “Just look away,” my mind told myself. So I did.
“Somebody’s at the door. Ahia, please open the door,” Almira said as she take me back from the battle inside me. We all focused our attention to the door.
Jeric stood up and opened the door. It was a nurse.
“Good afternoon po, we’ll transfer the baby inside na po,” he said.
My heart went racing again. I’m going crazy. I have all sorts of conflicting emotions right now. The titans of feelings battling in my head about Jeric and the butterflies in my stomach about meeting my baby for the first time. It’s driving me nuts.
Jeric’s expression changed from hurt and pain to love and excitement and joy as he look at some sort of a trolley that the nurses are pushing. From that, I know he saw our angel. I turned to where Jeric was looking and then I saw her.
My world stopped. It felt like nobody’s left in the room but my baby. They stopped her beside my bed and I can now see her clearly. She’s still in an incubator but I can see her. She is very tiny. She really is the most beautiful thing. She does have my face, my nose, my lips. She stirred inside the machine and slowly stretched her limbs. She opened her eyes. Almira was right. Jenna has Jeric’s eyes, those beautiful eyes.
“She knows Mommy and Daddy are here,” I heard my Mom said. “She still can’t see but she knows you’re both here.” I didn’t bother looking at my Mom while she was talking. I can’t take my eyes off of Jenna.
“Hello Baby, daddy’s here.” I heard Jeric said.
I looked up and he was already sitting at the end of my bed, touching the machine that contains Jenna. I didn’t notice him coming here. I stared at him without the intention of doing so.
His eyes looked dreamy exactly like Jenna’s. He has this smile that screams that he’s overjoyed looking at his daughter. He’s looking at Jenna with so much love that my heart melted again. I saw tears flowing down his cheeks. I wanted to wipe them off but I stopped myself.
I realized that he may left me alone but I’m sure as hell that he loves our baby. And I also know that I can’t take him away from her. I may think that Jeric and I are done but he is still Jenna’s father.
Jeric wiped his tears off, “Baby, you’re so beautiful. You look like Mommy…” He smiled as he continue to wipe off the tears that keep on coming.
“Please hurry up in growing so you can get out of the incubator. Daddy wants to hold you,” Jeric continued to talk. And cry.
Jenna, as if hearing and understanding what Jeric is saying, moved her hands and feet. Jeric smiled like a fool looking at our baby respond to him. I can’t help my heart to swell in love and adoration at the picture in front of me. This was my dream. This IS my dream.
Jeric continued to talk to Jenna as she also continued to respond to him through her movements. After the exchange from the father and daughter, Jeric sighed.
He just stared at Jenna. “I love you baby,” he said to her. Then he looked up to me, “I love you.” Then another batch of tears went free falling his cheeks again. He didn’t take his eyes off of me.
I just stared at him in silence. My heart is starting to melt. I wanted to open my arms so he could pull me to him. But I stood my ground. I just stared at him blankly.
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I can’t live without you. I can’t be alive without you. I’m here now. I will never leave you again. Please give me one last chance, one last. Please…” he begged.
“She’s your daughter too. I can’t take that away from you. We’ll talk about the arrangements on when you could visit or be with Jenna when I get out of the hospital,” I can’t believe myself that I could be that heartless.
I saw, in front of me, how I tear Jeric’s world piece by piece. I don’t understand it either. It felt like somebody took over my body. I can’t be that cruel to Jeric.
“I’m sorry,” he said. I know he could only take that much. He abruptly stood up and stormed out of the room.
I saw how his world fall apart. Now, I’m feeling mine crumble into pieces. I felt my tears forced their way out of my eyed and I let them.
“Anna,…” it was my Mom. I looked up then I realized there are still other people in the room. I scanned the room and found that Jeron and Almira are the ones that are missing. They might have followed Jeric.
I felt my Mom touch my back. “Mom, I’m going crazy. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Help me,” I told her while crying.
She hugged me tight. My dad was standing beside us. “Give yourself a break from all the emotions, honey, just breathe,” my Mom said.
I looked up and saw Jeric’s parents look at me with sympathy. “Tita I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I don’t know… I don’t…” I said and cried again.
“We know you didn’t mean to. Give yourself a break, hija. Things will get clearer,” Tita Susan said.
“I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants Jeric so much but the other hates him. I’m going crazy that I can hear my heart and my mind fight,” I told my Mom. I’m starting to have panic attack. I’m struggling with my breath.
She held me in arms-length and wiped my tears. “Iyanna, I need you to calm down. Now, follow Mommy. Inhale… Exhale,” she said and helped me breathe steadily.
With Mom’s help, I was able to compose myself. I closed my eyes to take it all and heaved it all out in one exhale. I felt myself calm down.
The room became silent as they all waited for me. I opened my eyes and looked at the people around me, my parents, Jeric’s, Achi Alyssa and Toni. They are all looking at me with sympathy.
“I’m sorry,” I told them.
“You don’t have to say sorry, Ate,” for the first time I heard my brother. “We still love and hate you for a little bit.” Trust my brother to inject that.
“Toni!” My mom reprimanded him.
“Hija, our boy loves you so much. We all can see that. He didn’t want to leave you here alone. He just got caught up in commitments. And we know, for sure, that if it was up to him, he would stay by your side and never let you suffer what you have suffered.” Tito Alvin said.
“Jeric loves you with all of him. I have never seen him that happy and contented when he’s with you,” Tia Susan said.
“We don’t want to pressure you, Anna. We’re just telling you that we are witnesses of Jeric’s love for you,” Achi Alyssa said.
I looked down. Deep in my heart I know that they were telling me the truth. I looked to my Mom and she smiled, a comforting smile.
“We’ve always supported you, sweetie. We trusted all your decisions because we saw and believed that you have a great sense of what is right and what is wrong. It has always been like that that we’ve never doubted you and interfered with all the choices you made,” my Dad said.
“But this time, I believe that you are doing the worst decision in your life right now. Even if I would hate it if you’ll be taken away from us, Jeric is the best thing that happened to you. We know it. We saw how you’ve grown with him,” that coming from my Dad is definitely a huge thing to be considered.
“Sweetie, he’s your man. You are your best when you’re with him. I have to agree with your Dad. You’ll be making the worst decision if you let Jeric go,” my Mom said.
They are all pep talking me. I can feel it. Though what they’re saying are all true. I looked at Toni for his thoughts.
“Don’t look at me. You won’t like the things that I will say,” he told me with a smirk.
“Toni, help your sister,” Mom ordered.
“I think you’re the stupidest person in the world if you let him go and suffer. Stop being stubborn and stop trapping yourself in your imaginary world where you think that everybody’s leaving you alone. Kuya Jeric loves you so much that’s the thing that you should focus on,” my brother said in one breathing.
“I am oblige to scold you for being too harsh to your sister son but I do agree with you,” Dad said to Toni then turned to me. “Your brother summed it up for all of us but he just used harsh words to describe it. It sounds bad but it fairly correct,” Dad said.
“But how can I erase the pain everytime I see him?” I asked the biggest question in my mind.
“You won’t. You’ll just learn that you’d rather be in pain than to be without him,” Mom said.
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Author's Note
I finished this chappie in one sitting, so please understand the errors that I have committed. I tried my best to finish this chapter now because I'm not sure when I can update again.
This chapter is kind of heartbreaking for me. It has the feels of so close yet so far. I dunno, I don't feel like bringing Anna and Jeric back together, YET. That's because I have a better idea in mind on how to bring the two back together. hehehehe
I hope you'll like this one, dear readers. I'll be happy to read your thoughts. Thank you for the support.
Comment and Vote xoxo