A/N: In which you, Y/N Y/L/N, friend zone The Joker. I'm starting a Tom Hiddleston imagines book because I'm completely in love. Happy imagine #101.
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Your POV
The light breaks its way through my window, warming my face at an alarming rate.
"Close those curtains!" I demand, hearing a chuckle in response. "Joker!?"
"Pretty, pretty..." his sly voice begins.
"Oh, for crying out loud, pretty please?" I groan and hear the curtains being drawn once again.
"Remember, we have the gala today," the Joker reminds me. His hand reaches out and slaps my leg playfully. "Why do you sleep with one leg out of the covers? That's so weird".
"Shut it, clown". I open one eye and can't help but stare at his beautiful eyes.
"Don't do that," he says quietly.
"Do what?" I sit up in the bed and he shifts uncomfortably.
"The way you look at me. It's as though you adore me".
"I do adore you, J. You're my best friend".
"So you've said," he comments in a rather disappointed voice and he rises from my bed. "Look, just be ready in an hour. We're already late". I roll my eyes and stare at the clock before realizing he was right- I'd slept to 3 PM.
"Holy shi-"
"Hey, no cursing without a good fucking reason!" Joker scolds while laughing his way out of the room.
I opt for a form-fitting black dress and a pair of black heels. I sweep my hair into a bun and stare at myself in the mirror. I wonder if I can get slim-thick in the next four minutes. Descending the staircase, I come face to face with Joker.
"Is this alright?" I ask but he doesn't say anything.
"You look lovely". I smile at his remark and we get into the car. "Let me help you," Joker adds, lifting the trail of the dress as I climb in. He shuts the door loudly and my eyes trail over his hands; the rings gracing his long and slender fingers, the golden bracelets hanging effortlessly, and the tattoos I secretly longed to trace.
"Joker, can I ask you something?"
"That depends. How much trouble will the answer get me in?"
"Hopefully none... do you think I'm pretty?"
"No". I inhale sharply and turn away from him. "I think your mind is beautiful and your existence is underrated. Pretty wouldn't cover a fraction of you beauty".
"That was a good answer," I try to joke.
"Y/N, might I ask you a... a question?" I laugh quietly before making eye contact and listening to his deep voice, "I just want to know if you've ever thought about me in a different way," he says.
"I don't know what you mean".
"Sure you do. Would you consider-"
I don't know what it was, but something inside of me froze up, "no. Joker I think we make good friends. I don't want to risk losing that".
"What if risking it would allow us to become better than good. We could be great, Y/N. I just need you to put a little faith in me".
"Everyone around you dies, J," I blurt out. I could tell my words cut deep, despite the laugh he let out to mask it.
"Wouldn't be any fun without somebody dying," he says solemnly.
"I didn't mean that, J. I'm just trying to say-"
"Y/N, please just shut the fuck up," he murmurs casually, cutting me off. I didn't dare push him, but I could feel a knot in my stomach. I regretted what I'd said. After another twenty minutes of quiet, Joker's eyes flashed towards my face. "Why would you care that I thought you were pretty if you didn't like me any some sense of the word?"
"I do like you. I just..."
"Don't lie to me, stupid girl!" he screams, hitting the steering wheel. "I'm- I'm sorry, I lost my temper".
"I'm not lying. I do like you, Joker. But I can't give you what you want". I turn and look at his face.
"Joker?" He doesn't respond but keeps his eyebrows furrowed as he drives. I wondered if a tear would slip from his eyes but he rolled his head back and seemed to have absorbed the blow of my words.
"It's fine, dollface. I wasn't expecting a marriage proposal or anything". His voice was thick with defensiveness and hurt.
"Don't do this-" I'd seen him like this before. He'd shut me out and if I wasn't quick, I'd never be let back in again. Of course I liked this beautiful man, I loved him even. But it was safe to say that he frightened me beyond any irrational human fear.
"Y/N, don't talk".
"No, you're not shutting me out," I touch his arm and he takes a harsh left with the car, which throws me against the car door.
"You were right. You being in this car with me might kill you. I'm deranged after all, aren't I?!"
"Don't!" I yell and grab his face, pressing my lips against his. The heat from his face radiates against mine. My fingers push his hair slicked back from his face and the car slows to a stop.
"You're crying," he mumbles, pulling away till only our noses are touching. I brush the tears away and get out of the car, standing next to a building. He gets out and rushes over to me.
"I don't know what I'm feeling. You scare me so much, and I'm afraid that one day you'll change your mind. You're not gonna feel this way about me. I guess that's why friendship seems more permanent- that in a year you'll still want me as a friend rather than nothing at all". Joker doesn't speak and his beautiful face watches me as I speak.
"It's so silly hearing my own fears coming from your mouth," he begins, taking my hands into his, "because while you hold this uncertainty, I know that in my screwed up heart that I will always want you, Y/N Y/L/N".