"Familiar Faces"
song: To Build A Home - The Cinematic Orchestra
It was like my whole heart was completely gone.
It's only been just a few days and we still weren't to hilltop. I carried a backpack full of the stuff that I needed, including all of Carl's shirts.
They were neatly folded in the bottom of the backpack that was currently snug against my back.
We were staying at hilltop until alexandria was re-built. Rick needed to make sure I got to hilltop and that Judith was alright before anyone could start.
It was going to take several years to fix the mess that Negan made.
"Here." Rick mumbled, handing me a bottle of water.
I took it and lifted it up against my dry lips. I shut my eyes and downed at least half of the bottle.
We haven't ate in a few days. I felt terrible with both loosing Carl and the starvation. We were all getting weaker by the second.
Both Michonne and Rick were determined to keep me alive no matter the cost.
"Here, take some." I held it out.
They both shook there heads, refusing.
"You drink the rest, were almost there." Michonne nodded as Rick began to push the water back towards me.
"Carl wouldn't want you to kill yourselves. He loved you guys too, you know?" I looked at them both with a harsh tone.
Ricks mouth parted open before he let out a sigh. Michonne looked at me with tears in her eyes.
It was the first time any of us had mentioned Carl; it was a shock that I was the first one too.
He took the bottle and drank some of it before handing it off to Michonne. She finished it off and stuffed it in the bag that she was carrying.
"Just a few more miles and we will be there." Michonne said before she looked up ahead.
You could see the hill where the hilltop sat. You could see just the tops of buildings which was good enough for me.
We began walking as quickly as we could. Michonne held onto Rick as we did so.
I looked to my right and imagined a hand waiting for mine. I reached out wanting something warm to grasp on to but there was nothing. I frowned, turning around. I waited for Carl to come walking from the distance.
And there he was, walking up the hill with his hat on his head. His blue eyes were so bright. He looked up and saw me, he smiled so widely. He began to run making his hat fly back, and onto the ground. I giggled at the sight as tears formed and fell quickly. He met up beside me and laughed a laugh that was filled with joy.
I snapped back to reality before I could hold him again. He was no longer there and nothing was bright. I breathed out as I looked ahead, wiping the tears from my cheeks. A few walkers began to come out from the trees. Each of us took a turn killing one.
I stabbed one in the head and watched it loose life. I held the back of it's neck like a newborn that couldn't hold its head. I shoved it to the ground with all of the strength that I had. I nodded, satisfied with my dumbass actions.
We began walking again and I stared at my feet. My shoes were black with a tan added to them from the dirt. Blood was splattered all over them which made some areas a faint pink and some a dark maroon.
My jeans were torn in places they weren't supposed to be. The holes revealed my legs which were way smaller than usual. I sighed at the thought of Carl wanting to kill me for doing this to myself.
There was food that sat in the bottom of my bag.
I wasn't hungry enough to eat it. I wanted to give it to Michonne and Rick but once I received the attitude of putting me before themselves, I knew they'd make me eat. It was nothing compared to water.
It wasn't that I didn't want to live anymore, I had to live for Carl's sake. I would never forgive myself if I did such a thing to him. It was just the feeling of how empty I was without him. Feeling the feeling of hunger was just to feel something that wasn't the aching heartbreak.
The next thing I knew, we were at the gates of hilltop.
The gates opened and there stood our whole family.
Maggie embraced Rick without a thought. I breathed out so relieved to see everyone. I wasn't nearly as close to some as I was others yet I was still relieved. I looked at the small crowd only to meet eyes with Enid.
Part of me wanted to run to my old best friend and cry out, but I also remembered that she was the one who ruined apart of me. We both cared about one boy dearly who we both just lost.
There was a part of me that was screaming to let her feel the pain that she once caused me.
She began to walk away with tears streaming down her face before I could make a decision. I sighed kind of disappointed.
I felt arms wrap around me causing me to gasp. The smell of Maggie relaxed me. I rested my head onto her shoulders as I let the tears build up.
"I'm so sorry baby." She mumbled.
I shook my head hating hearing those words.
You're sorry for the loss of a boy that no one can bring back?
She rubbed my back softly before pulling away from me. She smiled a smile that was full of pity and heartbreak. I turned to see Judith already in Ricks arms.
She looked straight at me and smiled so widely as she reached her arms out. She was thrilled to see me. Rick kissed her head before he handed her off to me.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and I bursted into a fit of tears. She smelled just like Carl.
"Maycee?" Judith asked with a confused tone.
"Hey baby." I smiled at her as best as I could.
The reminder of Carl was all over her, which both broke me and filled me with so much joy. Her eyes sparkled the way that Carl's did when he looked at me. She smiled a smile that was nothing but sweet love. Her smile was bright just like his once was.
"I missed you." I kissed her head and she giggled.
"I missed you tooo." She cooed with a giggle.
I hugged her again as she messed with the back of my hair. I turned to see everyone in tears as they looked at me.
They felt nothing but sadness for the teenage girl loosing the only boy who ever loved her.
I sat Judith down and bent down to her level. I unzipped my bag and held out a T-shirt. It was torn from nothing other than the typical apocalypse. It was a perfect size for her to hold close as a blanket.
"Bubba?" She stared at me with a questionable look.
I nodded with a smile as I zipped the backpack up. Judith held the shirt close to her chest with a calm expression. She began to yawn and I smiled.
My eyes automatically connected with the sunset. They then followed to meet a pair of brown ones. My eyes squinted with confusion at who I was looking at.
He smiled a smile that I knew instantly. I covered my mouth and stood up quickly. He wrapped his arms around me so tightly. Mason.
He didn't die y'all lol. Lmk if you remember little old Mason :))
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I left-" He began but I shook my head quickly.
Familiar faces were now one of my favorite things because of just missing one of my favorite faces to see.
He rubbed my back softly before pulling away. I didn't have to say a word to him about Carl. Practically the whole Hilltop knew.
"I'm just right there if you ever need me, okay?" He smiled softly as he pointed at the small trailer behind him.
I smiled and nodded quickly. I noticed the smile on his face that showed his teeth for once. Somehow, I felt my heart warm up just a little.
"Thank you." I mumbled softly and he smiled the same smile once again with a slight nod.
I turned to Rick as I put on my backpack. It was nearly Judith's bedtime now that the sun was almost fully set.
Rick looked at me with a smile. He knew that I wouldn't let anything happen to this little girl no matter the cost. He knew I was going to take care of her like a sister would, like Carl would've done.
She held my hand as we walked into the main building. I breathed out as she led me up the stairs.
"I assumed that you would rather share with Judith." I heard from behind me.
I turned to see Jesus standing there.
I nodded a simple nod, unable to speak at this point. It was ridiculously chaotic with everything going on. I made eye contact with him only to turn away as quickly as I could. His eyes were blue like Carl's. It was just another reminder. I didn't want him to say much more before I had yet another break down.
Btw if you're wondering why she didn't do the same to Rick but she's doing it to Judith and Jesus it's only because she's been with Rick for the past few days.. she's used to him. Seeing the others she's not used too..
"We already fixed up the room for you. It's the last one down the hall. Rick and Michonne are right across." Jesus smiled softly.
"Thank you." I smiled at him.
He nodded, unsure of what to say to such a broken girl.
I picked Judith up as I walked down the hall. I opened the doorknob with a shaky breath. It revealed a full size bed and a small toddler bed in the corner. Toys were laid out everywhere.
The bed was made with a soft pink quilt. The walls were just a plain white. The only window in the room was small and covered with a creamy colored curtain.
Carl would've been a hell of a complainer right now with a pink bed.
I put Judith down on the bed and she instantly began to jump. I sat my backpack on the dresser that was by the door. Just by sitting something down on top, I knew the dresser was completely empty.
The closet door was peeped open which revealed another dresser that was purple and faded. I knew it was already filled with clothes for Judith.
"Come on lets get some sleep." I held out my arms.
Judith stopped jumping as she stared at my hands, debating.
I smiled widely and she instantly relaxed in my touch.
She leaned right into my arms with a yawn. She laid right on my shoulder and started to mumble a few words.
I laid her down in her bed and covered her up with the blanket. Her eyes began to get heavy and I smiled. I kissed her head and sat Carl's shirt beside her.
She snuggled up to it before she looked at me.
"I love you sweet girl." I smiled, getting the hair out of her face.
She smiled a goofy smile before she drifted off.
I began to upzip my backpack. I filled the top drawer with Carl's shirts. Mainly for a separate drawer for him and also to see how much we both could've fit. I filled the rest with the clothes I wanted to bring. I looked at the bottom of my bag to see a brown sheriffs hat along with the bag of food sitting in the middle. I sighed, pulling it out. The bag of food made a plop on the carpet.
I put his hat on my chest and looked around.
There was a red pin stuck in the wall right above my bed. I hung it right up there and looked directly at Judith.
"It's safe until you're big enough." I whispered.
I gathered a shirt with a flannel that were both Carl's. I grabbed a pair of shorts and held it to my chest. I desperately needed a shower.
I turned on the monitor that sat next to Judith. I grabbed the other one and walked out of the bedroom.
For the first time in a long time, I was scared to be alone. I wanted his comfort and safety again.
I shut the door quietly and only walked just a few doors down before seeing the bathroom.
I walked in, shutting the door behind me and locking it. I never lock the door.
I sat down my clothes and put the monitor as close as I could to the tub.
I turned on the faucet and sat down on the toilet. I began to take off my shoes and then my jeans before I stopped.
I blinked a few times and sighed. My hands were shaking and my heart began to beat quickly.
Carl faded in right infront of me. He reached out to feel the water, "It's still a bit cold, but it'll do."
He tugged at his shirt before taking it off. I watched carefully, as always. There was not one scar on his chest. My eyes met with his and I breathed out seeing two beautiful, bright blue eyes.
I stood up and took off my shirt as he smiled at me.
I took off the rest of my clothes with a slow paced heart. I stepped in and shut the curtain. A laugh escaped my lips from the feeling of the slightly cold water. My eyes shut trying to keep the imagination as real as it could be. I rubbed them harshly before opening again.
The water rinsed off the dirt and blood from my body. My hair became a dark brown and a tangled mess. I stared at the bottom of the tub watching the dirt go down the drain.
I grabbed the shampoo and roughly washed my hair. I waited for his feet to meet mine at the bottom of the tub but he never came.
I cleaned myself up and rinsed out the shampoo. I did the best that I could before turning off the water. I opened the curtain and grabbed the towel that sat on the toilet.
The baby monitor began to light up as Judith cooed in her sleep. I breathed out, drying off.
I slipped on some underwear and put on one of Carl's shirts before slipping on some baggy shorts.
The window to my right revealed it was around nine at night. I dried off my hair and began to brush it out. I rinsed my mouth out with some water and left the bathroom door with the baby monitor now off. I had all of my dirty clothes in my hand along with Carl's flannel for comfort.
I walked back into my room and quietly opened the door. Judith's lips were parted open with her thumb close by. The flannel of Carl's was snuggled up underneath her cheek.
I smiled before I stepped inside, shutting the door back.
I put my dirty clothes in a hamper by the door and sat my shoes on top. I sat on the bed and breathed out for the hundredth time tonight.
"I'm so tired." Carl yawned, sitting down on the bed.
I smiled softly as I watched him. I watched as he ran his hands through his wet hair like he had just taken a shower. He wore sweatpants with no shirt.
He jumped into bed which caused me to bounce a bit. I furrowed my eyebrows at the movement.
I turned to see both of his eyes looking at me. He smiled as he watched me carefully. I laid on my side, facing him. We were just a few inches apart.
My lips parted loving ever second of this imagination. I pulled his flannel up to my cheek and breathed in. I smiled as I smelled the smell of the boy I had been missing.
"Get some rest Mace, we have a lot to do tomorrow."
I closed my eyes, laughing a little. I felt the quilt being pulled over my skin as I began to slowly drift off.
With the thought of his presence beside me, my eyes began to close. It was a repeating pattern as they opened and shut right back again.
A feeling of warmth was on my forehead following by a kissing sound. Exhaustion took over me before I could wrap my head around the situation.
"Goodnight baby, I love you."
A/N
The little random details in this book will be explained in a few updates! I'll explain the whole meaning behind everything too.
This would've been almost 7,000 words but I divided it into 2 to not make it as overwhelming. I'm fixing a few things then it'll be uploaded soon!
I hope you enjoyed.
Comment down below your thoughts :))