Jay
She hit me up first, and I can't even lie, I brightened up at the thought of just chilling with her. No drama, just vibes. Maybe it can just be like it used to be when things were .. simple.
I was on my bed watching the Amazing World of Gumball and I overheard a knock on the front door. A heavy feeling instantly overcame me. It was almost unfamiliar, but I tried to shake it off before I got to the door. I placed my hand over the doorknob as I checked the peephole and there she was. I pulled the door open and the first thing I saw was her orange hair.
I looked in her eyes. "Hey."
She was glowing even though she was in the shade. "Hey Jamie." I took a step back, opening the door wide, and gestured for her to walk inside. Once I closed the door and turned around, she was standing in front of me.
I noticed that she immediately turned her eyes away when I looked at her. Seemed like she could've been looking at me and I may have missed it, but I could be wrong so I'd rather drop it than be bold and wrong.
"You mind if we chill in my room instead of the living room?" I ask
"That's cool." She says. I'm sure she wouldn't have minded, but I wanted to ask anyway.
"Aite cool." I breathe.
I went and grabbed two water bottles from the kitchen then led her to my room. The only people home were my sister and the doucheface, but I just wanted to be where I could be comfortable. Usually when I'm in my room no one bothers me unless they need me to do something they can't do themselves.
I enter my room and close my door behind me and I see her just standing by the TV.
"Why you being all shy?" I ask. "You wasn't like this the last time you were here."
"I don't want to overstep any boundaries." She says.
"Girl you trippin. I'm the same old Jamie. You know me, I know you. No need to be brand new." I say.
"In my defense I haven't been in your room in over a year so uh.."
"So that means you act like you've never been in here before?" I ask. "Sit or stand where you want, but I'm about to Diiiiive Innnn." I jokingly sing.
I plop down on my bed. After a moment of thought, she takes off her shoes then sits on the end of my bed, closer to the TV.
"So.... You got any new friends? Girlfriends? Boyfriends? Friends with benefits?" I ask to break the silence.
"Ha. No. I'm just focusing on school and enjoying life. How's you and your relationship with- what's her name?" She asks.
"Morgan. We uh.. aren't really seeing eye to eye lately. We haven't spoken to each other since this morning." I admit. I felt like I could be honest with her because she always was pretty good with understanding females and I didn't wanna keep all my thoughts in my head.
"Oh.. did y'all have an argument?" She asks.
"Nah, it's just been a rocky day. I needed my space so that I didn't let the wrong emotions out on her." I admit.
"I remember when you used to do that." She scoffs. "Why don't you just text her saying what happened? If she real, she'll understand."
"Because I heard something today and it made me want to sit back and watch how she acts rather than talk to her about it." I continue to search through channels on my TV guide.
"You think it was a rumor?" She asked.
"It was a person who told me something, and they almost described her to the T, so I couldn't not believe it. And like... I just didn't feel like being extra and coming at her about something I heard by word of mouth and I didn't want to be lied to, so-"
"Do you trust this girl?" She asks.
"I mean.. I do-"
She cuts me off. "It's either you do or you don't. And I learned from you that if yall ain't got trust, yall ain't got nothing."
I look at her and then at my phone.
"I'm not a therapist, but I think you should address the situation now rather than wait and it only gets worse."
"You sure you not a therapist?" I ask.
"Nah, that's you." She says.
She really seems like she's grown and it only adds to her looks. It makes her even more attractive. But I know we're only friends and it's gonna stay that way. I'm not happy with where Mo and I are right now, but I'm not gonna do her wrong. And I'm cool with just chilling with Jaliyah, she's pretty nice company. She gives me an opportunity to breathe from all my stresses.
"You actually taught me a lot, you know that?" She looks at me.
"Nah I didn't know." I say, looking back at her.
"Well you did. So thank you." She looks at me with an expression that shows her genuine emotions. I guess I had more of an impact on her than I was aware of.
"You're welcome, but I honestly don't try." I shrug lightly.
"You're amazing Jamie, and you don't even have to try. Don't waste your time on anyone who doesn't match you."
"Whatchu mean?" I ask.
"I'm not trying to mess up your relationship, I already ruined ours, but don't settle for anything less than what you deserve."
"I hear you, but I do trust her." I say
"You trust her or you want to trust her?" She asks
"Hey. We were supposed to be talking about you not me. Can we just watch something?" I say trying to get the topic off of my relationship. I didn't want to keep it in my mind. I just wanted a break.
"You ain't got no homework?" She asks.
"Homework or Fast and Furious 6?" I say with my hand weighing each option.
"Six?" She questions.
I just respond by looking at her, leaving the choice in her hands. She takes three seconds to think of her answer.
"Homework can wait."
Chasity
I tried texting Lonnie but I never rounded up the nerve to press send. I continued to play out scenes in my head of what happened today and it made me sad. She broke up with me and I didn't even fight. I just let it happen.
I falling apart emotionally. I was sad and confused about so much.
Bianca walked into the room with a plate holding two sandwiches and and two bags of chips.
"Hey. You hungry?" She asks.
"Not really." I answer.
"You okay? You've been looking down since school ended.. like literally. Your chin is on the ground at the this point. You wanna talk?" She asks.
Bianca was so sweet in my eyes. She seemed like one of the only ones who would give me comfort when I was alone and hurt. It was like when Lonnie leaves, she replaced her and filled in the emptiness.
"I messed up big time. And I feel so hurt." I say.
"How?" She asks.
"Lonnie broke up with me because she felt like I wasn't being honest." I confess.
"Was there something you lied about?" She asks.
"Yeah" I answered.
"Why would you lie? I thought yall were lovers and best friends." She says.
"I don't know. I'm conflicted."
"About what?" She asks.
"My head and my heart." I say.
"One thing my mom taught me was that you don't think with your heart. That's the mind. The heart only feels. So don't think. Feel." She grabs a bag of chips and opens it.
I take a moment to digest what she had to say.
"That makes me feel a little better. But that doesn't give me back my relationship."
"Well you can't fix a boat with a bandaid." She says. I think about it for a moment then I look at her.
"What?"
"You heard me. Now eat this sandwich before I blend it up and make you drink it. You're not dying of starvation and a broken heart in my bed."
"Geez." I say. That sounds terrifying. A sandwich smoothie. Mayo doesn't belong in smoothies.
"If I got you some weed, would that make you happy?" She asks.
"I guess."
"I gotchu boo. We gone get you back right and lift that chin up from the ground to the clouds."
Less than an hour later we're in bed and I'm watching her light up the blunt.
"You know what'll also help boost your spirits?" She asks before she takes a hit.
"No, what?" I ask.
She exhaled. "Sex. Some bomb ass sex." She put emphasis on every word as each word just came out smooth like the smoke she was exhaling.
I didn't know what to think. I didn't know if she was trying to say she wanted to have sex with me, but was throwing hints instead.
"You should have sex with Lonnie. I think both of yall need it, for real. I can see it on your faces." She takes another hit before she passes it to me.
"What?" I ask before I grab the blunt and bring it to my lips for a long smooth inhale.
"Yall should have sex ... and I should be invited."
I start coughing as I exhale.
"B, you're killing me." I cough some more. "Literally"
She hands me a bottle of water once she removes the top.
"I'm just saying. Yall both fine and I can help y'all." She says.
I drink the water until I could breathe smooth again. "B you play too much." I take another hit before passing it back to her.
"But you haven't said no, so I'm gonna say you're considering it. And if so, you already know I have a house, a bed, a couch, a kitchen counter, a shower."
"Bianca. Sex isn't the solution."
"It wouldn't hurt though. C'mon. Think about it. We all fine. It'll be a bomb ass threesome."
"We can't have a threesome with two people." I say.
"So you do wanna have a threesome. Ha."
"I never said that." I say, getting defensive.
"Trust me, she won't say no if you tell her how much you want her."
"Even if I was entertaining the thought, I doubt she'd answer my text."
"If she loves you, she'll reply. You can even throw in the offer of free trees and who turns down free weed?" I couldn't foresee if this was going to be a corny joke or not, so I waited for her answer.
She takes a hit and exhales. "Nuns, that's who."