Into The Woods,Again
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Photo Cred: I have no god damn clue so don't get triggered
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( Your POV )
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Now that I thought about it,as Maggie was handing me a couple towels and telling me what shampoo's to use,I hadn't showered in a really long time.The last "shower" I had was me removing my clothing and just jumping into a freezing river to clean off the blood and dirt I had gotten after accidentally running into living breathing people who realized I was a zombie-er walker...thing. I sighed as I remembered that encounter,I had to spend more than half the day digging into my flesh with a knife to remove all of the bullets they had wasted on me.
I think that might be when I got the idea to wear what I do,though,I still have no clue where I even got the clothing from...did I possibly steal it?
Maybe.
Ya I probabaly stole it.
"Ok ,I'm gonna turn on the water for you so you don't get confused,"Maggie said as she leaned over to turn on the running water,from the steam that I observed come from the water she must have personally decided that I wanted hot water to shower with."Y/N,"she looked back at me and motioned for me to come closer,"When your done just turn it this way and it should shut off."
With that she stood up straight,placed the shampoos and soap I should use in general into the shower and then she just looked at me,"Take you time and don't worry about anyone coming in,there's a lock on the door."
"Thank you Maggie,"she gave me a smile before walking out of the bathroom while closing the door,I looked down at my body that had been covered completely in this clothing for the longest time ever,to be totally honest I haven't seen my body since that day I washed up in the lake.Remembering what Maggie had told me I turned around to lock the door,if anyone walked in while I was nude,me being naked wouldn't be the problem.
No,the problem would be the bites,the scars left from bullets,knives,extreme bruising from being struck by multiple items or even the burns,my body is disgusting by any sane standards,there isn't a patch of skin that isn't littered with wounds. I sighed as I pulled down my hood along with my face mask,I'm ultimately displeasing to the eyes of any sane human.
With a small glance at myself in the bathrooms mirror I began to remove my clothing,first with removing my "cape" to then unzipping the back part of my face mask.I stretched out my neck feeling extremely odd without anything sticking against my skin,it was weird, I dont like it.
With nothing covering the top part of my body all of the things attached to my back,my chest,my arms and my belt were completely visible.I carried a lot more than most people could ever believe. I sighed realizing how annoying it was going to be to removed all of the straps and the few items that were still attached to me. "God dammit,"after a couple minutes of removing everything from the top half of my body I moved onto removing all the things attached to my legs,which thankfully took less time and now I was just in my protective vest that had holes in it.
One of these holes was caused by Daryl shooting me with his crossbow a while ago,and I made it worse by suddenly pulling it out.
I'm stupid.
I removed it carefully as to not damage it any further and finally I was in ,technically, regular clothing of just a pair of black cargo pants,a black long sleeve shirt with a round neck and strong black leather boots."This feels really weird,"I groaned,"I just need to get in the shower already."
With that I removed my shoes followed by my pants,shirt,and uncomfortably useless undergarments.Before stepping into the shower I looked at myself from the mirror and my eyes quickly found the nail marks as well as the bites that had "healed" on my back and shoulder.
I looked away and stepped into the steaming water,sadly I couldn't even be comforted by the soothing heat as I was unable to really feel it.
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A couple minutes passed with me just standing underneath the running water unmoving when my ears twitched at the sound of a light knocking at the door.
This peace almost makes it seem as if the world hasn't gone to shit,I stuck my head out of the shower and looked at the door.But I know that is only my imagination,"Who is it?"
"It's Maggie." Oh,thank god,I asked her what she needed and got I hoped she wouldn't ask for me to open the door."I came by to ask if youd like me to wash up your clothes,"well shit.
"I don't want to trouble you anymore so I'll just clean it myself,"she just said ok and asked if I would like her to bring over a soap intended for clothing."Ya just leave it outside the door and I'll grab it."
"Alright,be right back." As I heard her footsteps retreat I stepped backwards into the rushing warm water and closed my eyes,wash my clothes huh? If all that dirt and blood actually comes off of it I'll actually be amazed.
"If you end up wanting help with your clothes just come get me,"I tensed up for a second as I hadn't noticed her footsteps return until she spoke.
"Thanks."
I heard her just hum in response until I finally heard her retreat for the last time followed by the sound if the front door opening them closing with a creak.I leaned forward so that my head would be against the shower wall and I sighed. As I looked down at the water going into the drain I just watched as blood would continue to slid off my body with the rushing water until it dissapeared into the drain below.
I could already tell the blood was beginning to stain the tub and I lightly slammed my forehead into the wall with my eyes shut.Great,more work for me.
( Maggie POV )
I placed the needed soap down in front of the bathroom door and just walked off,I found it strange how she acted when it came to others seeing her without that - I paused in my step,actually I don't even know the name of what she wears is called,a cape? Maybe...I just shrugged to myself and made my way to the front door.At least it didn't take much convincing to get her to use our shower,all it took was my stubbornness and her willingness to just give in.
I heard the sudden strum of a guitar,it caught my attention that I went straight for the front door and opened it,looking straight forward I saw nothing but with another strum I looked to the side and realized it was Glenn,resting on one of the porch chairs just strumming away on the car in boredom.As I closed the door he stood up and walked a bit closer,I smiled and said,"Nice guitar."
He looked down at it,"Dale found it on the highway."
I just nodded he then awkwardly looked back at his groups little camp around the tree,"You know,"he said as he turned back around to face me,"We still have eleven condoms."
And here I thought this boy would just say something meaningful to me for once,I shook my head at the stupidity,what I wanna say wont be to cruel will it? With a struggling smirk I met his eyes and answered back,"You see eleven condoms,I see eleven minutes of my life that I'm never gettin back."
He let out an awkward laugh as that confident smile on his face completely dropped,I leaned against one of the houses walls that was right next to the front door,"It wasn't that bad,was it?"
I rolled my eyes,"Look, I," I let out a sigh," I don't even know if I like you."
He looked to the side,"But your thinking about it aren't you?" He then stretched out his arm and placed his hand beside my head,"You should."
I scoffed at his comment and rolled my body away from him ,he stayed still realizing he had just pushed me away pretty quickly.So stupid,I pushed myself up and off the wall and made my way down the front house stairs,looking back I saw him staring in confusion at my small glare and reaction of walking off without a word.
No wonder Y/N gets annoyed of you.I looked away from him and sighed,"To late to take back what I've started."
( Your POV )
"I fucking hate this,"I growled out as I tossed my clothing back into the sink after having filled a small bucket I found, somehow, with warm water and slowly dabbing wet one of the towels I was given before continuing with my struggle to removed the now dried blood off of the showers floor. I knew this stupid shit wasn't a good idea,what the hell is wrong with me. I had finished my shower fairly quickly but now I had been in there for longer because of the mess my disgusting body had decided to create.
Still naked,I sighed and just sat on the floor out of annoyance,most of the blood was gone but some patches just wouldn't remove themselves from the floor.Looking over at the sink I stared at my now semi-clean clothing,"Those stupid clothes are the reason why I'm in this mess right now.Fuck you."
No surprise my clothing didn't respond to me cussing at them because they aren't fucking alive,but someone else did as I heard a loud knock on the bathroom door that made me instantly get up onto my two feet with tense limbs. "Who's been in there this whole time?"
Shit it's Hershel.
I stretched out my arms to grab my clothing so that I wouldn't be fucking naked but them my body twisted itself to still see those patches of dried blood on the floor and I felt myself just sink back into sitting on the floor like a heart broken schoolgirl.I sighed,"It's me y/n,Maggie was being stubborn about me showering." My eyes traveled over to the blood,"I made a small mess though."
I heard him sigh before stating shortly,"I'll bring Patricia to help you."
He left before I could say anything else,but now knowing that someone else was coming and that I would have to open the door I stood up fast as began to change into my clothing.My entire getup wasn't that important right now, but making sure the skin of my back,arms,chest and legs was completely covered required my pants and my long sleeve shirt.Once that was on I just decided to put my black boots on,by the time that was all on I kinda realized I forgot to put my gross bra back on,maybe I still have time-
"Hello?" I looked over at the front door,nope too late.
I made my way over and after rethinking everything I just took the chance,unlocked the door and pulled it open,"I'm sorry to trouble you,"that sounds normal right? Ya. "But it seems cleaning my clothes caused a mess on the floor."
"A mess?" In confusion she lightly pushed passed me,completely ignoring the fact that I had no bra on , and made her way to the shower where she gasped loudly and stepped away,"How did-are you ok? Are you injured?" When asking these questions she got closer as her eyes trailed my entire body searching for any possible sign of pain.
Oh if only I could proudly say yes because I'm dead but then everyone on this farm would huddle up and kill me, I sighed and went over to the shower leaning down to grab the towel and dump a part of it into the bucket of water,"I'm fine just my clothes carried a lot of...stuff...on it, like dirt, and this happened." I began to scrub at the floor again ,the blood was beginning to get lighter with each time I scrubbed but fuck it was taking way to long. "I'm sorry."
The woman who I found out at one point that her name was Patricia,suddenly pulled the towel out of my hand and I looked up at her to see her smiling softly at me,what the? She then crouched down and began to scrub at the blood,"Don't worry, and you don't need to apologize." I opened my mouth but I had no clue what to say,as I looked over her shoulder at the blood somehow she seemed to be removing faster than I had in the past 30 minutes. She must have realized my awkwardness because she turned around and pointed at the door,"Just leave this to me,don't worry Y/N."
I'm almost a hundred percent sure she didn't know my name,or at least I didn't expect her to remember it? I cleared my throat and lightly bowed,why I did that,I have no clue before muttering a thank you that granted me another smile before she told me to go rest with my group. I gave in to this so I walked over to the sink grabbing all of my shit and I walked out of the bathroom heading for the front door.Right when I reached the front door though I remembered I was still missing my bra.Damn.With a quick look around I went to the living room,thankfully no one was there so I quickly slipped off my shirt and tugged my bra on from over my head."Thank god,"I reached down and grabbed my black long sleeve shirt,I had gotten it over my head with it covering my neck and upper back but when I turned around slightly at the sound if breathing I realized that Glenn had just walked into the room.With eyes wide I froze,his eyes had been instantly glued to my body as he stared at my back,realising this my brain began to work again and I panicked,shit the bites! I quickly pulled down my shirt until I knew that it covered everything,but its too late he saw.He fucking saw!
No,no,no,no,
He can't hurt me alone but...fuck he must have seen right!
I had stupidly looked away from him so I slowly turned back around to see him only to realize that he was now behind me.His hand was stretched ready to pull up my shirt,in shock I kicked my leg backwards.The second my foot made contact with his chest I realized I had pushed him with too much strength ,but it was too late as i watched him slam against the wall."Oh shit."
He heard me,of course,but ignored the pain or surprise of my actions as he struggled to get up only to head towards me again,"Y/N what the hell was that for ?"
"Dont touch me,"I said without thinking,He straightened himself up with a small cringe at the pain coming from his back,I didn't mean to hurt you Glenn but you must have seen them,I shut my eyes for a second,you must have seen the walker bites. When I opened them again he quickly got to me and wrapped his arms around me,"Glenn,get off! I said Dont. Touch. Me!"
"Y/N ,all those scars,when did that happen? Just let me see, I dont get what so wrong about it, its okay,"I continued to struggle in his arms,and I could hear footsteps from upstairs begging to contemplate if they should come down and check on the sudden noise.UGH! I should have just walked outside without a god damn bra on!!
I grabbed a hold on one of his arms and after forcefully pulling it away from my body I crouched down and flipped him over,"Its none of your buisiness Glenn." The footsteps were starting to come down the stairs so I grabbed my stuff as quick as I could and I raced out the door.Unfortunately I was able to catch a glimpse of Glenn getting up onto his two feet,though through large amounts of pain , and I realized he was gonna follow me,what the fuck do I do now! I went down the stairs and looked at the groups camp,but then my eyes wondered over to the forest,alone again? All caused by my never ending stupidity, I heard Glenn tell Hershel that everything was ok , just like before,things don't change.
Glenn had finally reached the door which he swung open instantly ,he saw me facing the forest with my things in hand and through struggled breaths he shouted at me,"All I saw were knife scars,I'm sorry!"
I had taken one step towards the forest,but I quickly stepped back,knife wounds? Are you fucking kidding me!
I looked back at him with a glare,"Is that all you noticed." He nodded like a sad puppy,"Are you sure that's it,"I questioned with a more aggressive tone only to revieve another nod from the little puppy.
I let my body go limp and let myself fall onto the floor like a starfish,the things I had been holding scattered around me resembling my thoughts as well as my memories in a whole,"Glenn,"he came down the stairs slowly.I might have overdone it on the strength but ultimately its his fault,knife scars was all he saw,he focused on the smallest patch of wounds and never looked up.Glenn ,"Your stupid."
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I made my way to the camp alone,Lori who I hadn't even realized left Carl alone , turned at the sound of footsteps and stared at me with wide eyes and an open mouth with her jaw wishing to connect with the floor,"What?"
She didn't answer with her mouth but her eyes were constantly looking up and down and trailing my entire body without any gear or coverups.She then met my eyes and finally focused on my still pretty damp hair,"Oh ,you ...showered?"
I nodded as I walked over to a table that was set up,I dropped off my stuff there and began to organize it so I could get it on me faster,"Farm girl wouldn't take no for an answer,she also wanted me to wash my clothes."
She nodded slowly,her eyes still focused on my appearance,"You look-"
"Normal." I finished for her,she didn't say anything more as I turned away from her now focusing on my things.
This is gonna take a bit,I heard someones footsteos making their way over but I didnt care enough to check. If it's Glenn he'll just be awkward and leave me be,If it's Maggie she'll maybe talk to me or talk to Glenn. I ignored my thoughts and began to attach all of the things back to my body,I started with my legs and worked my way up from their,thankfully I had memorized the way everything went on.If not I'd be here all day trying to figure it out.
"Hey Y/N."
I paused a bit before clicking a square piece into place on my back,I looked up with my eyebrow raised to see Carol."Oh, hello Carol."
She smiled at me though her wondering eyes gave away her obvious confusion and curiosity to the fact that I still didn't have all my gear on."It's nice seeing you out of all this."
I looked up at her and smiled,"Its strange though,"I finished attaching everything to my chest and back thanks to my vest,now onto my arms."I took a shower if your wondering,that was weird too."
She let out a small laugh,then with a questioning look she said,"Oh so that's why you couldn't do patrol today."
I paused and looked over to her,"What do you mean? What patrol?" Thats when I finally took the moment to look around at the camp,Lori and Carol are the only ones here,minus Glenn who decided to come over to the camp."Where is everyone?"
Carol realized I hadn't been told anything,but why would they not tell me anything? Is it cause I got lost in the forest before....probably. "Y/N they all headed into the forrest to search for -."
I raised my hand for her to stop,she doesn't have to say her name,I know it's too much for her.She nodded ,a small thank you escaping her lips before I realized that Lori came over."Shane decided that they wouldn't tell you anything."
"Why,"I asked with my eyebrow raised before I continued to complete my outfits attachments."Is it cause he's an asshole or-"
Lori smiled at what U called him but non the less cut me off to say,"He said that you would just get lost again,Shane wouldn't stop till they agreed."
I sighed as I finally wrapped my neck and zipped up the awkward pleather cloth that tended to cover the bottom half of my face."At least they are all eith eachother ,right?"
Lori nodded as she watched,almost with sad eyes,as I completed hiding myself once more by wrapping my shoulders and the too half of my torso in my "cape" before speaking, "They all went in pairs to cover different sections if the area."
"Oh no wait,"Carol spoke up just as I lifted up my hood and finally I felt myself relax,"Didnt Daryl go on his own?
I looked up at her only to see Lori slightly widen her eyes,"Oh,I forgot,Daryl went on his own riding a horse. He'll be fine alone though,I'm sure."
"I dont think so,"they watched as I ran into the RV,grabbing my supplies that I had hidden around ,and came back out as I began to refill the few empty pockets I had.I cant really use guns but if it comes to it at least I know I'll have that. I dug through my bag and came across my silencer,"I thought I lost you,"I muttered before shoving it into one of my pockets.
"Wait Y/N."
I looked back at them just as I had put my back pack on and grabbed my crossbow,"What?"
"You don't know where he went though,"I walked back over to them waiting for then to state where he had gone."We would have to show you on the map but we don't have it."
"Looks like imma gonna have to wing it then,"I smirked and looked to lori,"Where did he say he would go?"
She closed her eyes,trying to remember what they had been talking about when they were all huddled up against the hood of the car."He said he'd go to the ridge,for a birds eye view,I don't know how that'd help."
"Is that all?" She nodded at me and then we all looked towards the forest,"Well let's pray to the heavens that Shane isnt right about me,"I tossed a wink at the two before jogging my way over and into the forest.
Fuck you Shane.
Hopefully next update is Saturday,enjoy this,hopefully it isn't as bad as I believe!
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I just graduated and I dont know how to feel.
I feel a heavy weight on my chest
And honestly my heart is breaking
The only reason I went outside was cause of school,but now I have no reasons to leave the emptiness of my room.
Idk what to feel and I dont know what to do
hmm...
~CKS