- 3 weeks ago -
I slowly follow him, sighing and then get in as well.
Something I shouldn't have done because what I see leaves me shook.
The second I followed Liam to the living room, a brown-haired head turns to me and my blood freezes instantly due to his gaze on me.
No one in the room moves, mom sitting on the couch next to him looking at me and Liam and I standing in the entry, trying to understand what's going on.
I don't look away from him, multiple feelings overwhelming my heart.
Should I be happy because he's finally back after a long time? But slowly, the memories of his words show up. The words he said that took away my hopes of him coming back to us. Those same words I never thought come out his mouth.
Everything is coming back to me little by little. He left us when we needed him the most.
"Dad?" Liam asks almost in a whisper, not realizing that his dad he didn't see in less than a year is sitting in the living room. "Dad!" Then he suddenly runs to him and pulls him into a hug, his smile getting wider than he ever got since that one day.
He probably doesn't remember when he saw him in the parking lot of the soccer club, or maybe he just doesn't care since he's back. Is he really back?
"What is he doing here?" I turn to my mom and ask her as if he wasn't in the same room, my anger growing bigger by seconds.
"Aly..." I hear my dad mumble and standing up but I cut him off before he has the time to add anything.
"Alyssa," I say without looking at him because I know. I know that the only thing I'd do is to cry. "Why is he here?" I question again my mom who gets up and walks to me.
"Darling... he's your dad..." She says, putting her hands on my shoulders.
"He wouldn't have left his family if he really was our dad..."I reply, pulling all my strengths together not to let tears flow down my cheeks. I can't show him how weak I am.
"Alyssa... I'm back now..." He tries to convince me but I stay focused on mom.
"Did you forgive him?" I ask, looking straight into her eyes and trying to read her. She nods with a small smile playing on her lips. "How could you?" a knot forms in my throat, making it more difficult to contain myself from crying but I struggle.
"Alyssa, please listen to me... I had a reason." Dad tries to relax and remove the tension of the room and walks to me.
"Don't talk to me! I don't want to hear your stupid excuses! just get out of here" I shout at him. I can't stand him. I really can't.
Isn't it sad? That your dad did so wrong that you can't manage to stay in the same room as he is?
"Alyssa! Stop behaving like that to your dad!" My mom scolds me with a deeper voice and frowns at me. She's not happy about that but how can she blame me?
Am I wrong? Is he a good dad and am I just overreacting?
"What? He's probably back only because his other family kicked him out! He said that I had to get over it because he wasn't coming back and that's what I did. I got over the fact that my own dad left me and built up a new family somewhere else, I was almost happy without him!" I say, stepping back to get out of here.
"Aly... Just sit here so we can talk..." She tries to pull me with her to the couch but I stop her by holding up my hand in front of her so she can't touch me.
"No, he can manipulate you and Liam, as much as he wants but I'm not fooled, I won't stay under that roof while he's still there," I say and runs out of the house to get in my car.
I can't stay here, I need to calm down.
How could she forgive him? Why would she forgive him?
I close my fists around the steering wheel not to explode but I can't hold back everything anymore and break down in tears.
The man she wants back is the same who took my youth away. I had to deal with my mom's disease and with my brother's happiness, I had to keep our family up and look for multiple jobs and I couldn't give up.
I hadn't any choice but I'm not complaining because by growing up faster, I changed and gave more attention to the people around me.
Maybe it isn't that bad... maybe I'm just looking for excuses to blame him because everyone was at their lowest when he abandoned us. Or maybe it's legitimate and I'm reacting like any other girl would react.
Because of him, Liam had to rebuild himself and fill the loss of his dad with the soccer club but it's no use since he's back. He's just playing and thinks that he can go and come back whenever he wants as if we were some random puppets. He changed me without even being here. I didn't expect him to change his mind and want to come back. I didn't expect to get that hurt only by seeing him in the middle of the living room. He got back at us when I least wanted him to and now feel attacked because I don't know who he is. He became a stranger and he entered the only place I feel home and safe with my family.
Tears didn't stop dropping since i got in the car and I didn't calm down either. Sobs are still coming out of my mouth and my heart is racing so fast.
Shawn.
I need him. I want to hide in his protective arms but I can't. He's so far away when I need him the most because he's the one who calmed me down when I got crazy in the parking lot. He knew how to relax me, and said the exact words I needed to hear that soothed me.
I wipe the tears that flew on my cheeks to take my phone from my pocket but new ones replace them immediately. I try to reach his contact on my phone screen even with my blurred view filled with tears. I don't know what time it is where he is but I just don't care and try to call him so I raise up the phone to my ear, hoping that he'll pick up the phone. 1. 2. 3. But he doesn't pick up. His voice doesn't come on the phone as I hoped he would.
I try a second time but still nothing. I can't manage to stop crying or to calm down, my breath is getting jerkier and my heart is beating faster.
Maybe Josh will help me even though he doesn't know that I saw my father at the soccer club. I don't know if it'll work but I call him, hoping that he'll answer.
"Aly? Hi!" I hear the sweet voice that makes him sound so happy.
I hold back a sob with my hand over my mouth, trying to stay calm.
"Josh... what are you doing?" I ask to make sure that I'm not disturbing him.
"I'm with Lili right now... why?" He says and mutes the mic of his phone with his hand so I won't hear their giggles with his girl but he fails because I actually hear them.
"Oh... it's okay, just enjoy your time with Lili-" I say but he immediately cuts me off and sounds more serious than he was.
"Hey, you wouldn't have called me if everything was okay. Where are you?" He asks and gets out of where he was since I don't hear Lili's voice anymore.
"In my car..." I simply reply, still trying to breathe properly without sounding crazy.
"Can you drive to my place?" He asks, starting to worry.
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Hey everyone! I hope you liked this chapter!
Love you all.
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