About a week passes away since the night Shawn called me and I didn't stop working. All days and all nights, whether at the Starbucks or at the agency. I even do extra hours but the most I work, the most I need a babysitter to take care of Liam and the most I spend money in it instead of saving it for my mom's surgery.
It's and will always be a vicious circle. I don't know how I'm going to get out of it and I can't even ask Josh or Rosalie to take care of Liam every time because they have their own concerns and lives too. And anyway, I want to get out of this in my own way, mum raised us really well so that we are independent and strong. That's what I intend to do.
It's time for me to be positive and stop moping. I don't know if it will work or if I could even pay for everything from surgery to meals, and babysitter. But I'll succeed otherwise I'll drown in my own tears. I will drown and nobody will help me.
I drive Liam to his school this morning and get to the agency where I edit some random pictures as always. I don't have a lot to do this week because there wasn't any photoshoot so I'm just sitting here in my office and enjoying my time with Rosalie. I don't spend a lot of time with her as we used to do at the beginning but we both know that one day everything will get better and that we'll spend good times again.
My day in the agency finally ends and another one begins when I get in the Starbucks. I check my phone one last time before I start my service because the mother of my brother's friend always texts me when she picks them up. When I read the text, I put the phone in my pocket and get behind the counter.
"Hey, beautiful girl!" Josh says which makes me smile.
"Hi, Joshua. How are you doing?" I ask turning to him but his smile fades away and he turns to me as well.
"The one who should ask is me... we hadn't talk last time... You can tell me everything you know..." He says but I focus back on the consumers who are coming.
"Everything's good buddy," I say with a smirk even though I'm lying. I'm lying to my best friend because I don't want him to be sad or to feel bad. I just want to stay the joyful girl he knew a while ago. Or maybe he never knew that girl...
"Alyssa, I already told you what I'm thinking about you. You seem sicker and thinner every day. You can't keep on going like that. I swear if you need my help just tell me, call me, text me at any time. I'm here for you." He whispers while preparing what people ordered.
"One day I'll tell you but I don't feel like telling you right now... It's not against you but I just wanna try to get out of this alone. I love you, don't get me wrong... it's just that I have to try." I say with a fake smile on my face.
"I hate you... you know that right?" He says and I can't hold back my laugh.
"Shut the fuck up, Josh. You couldn't live without me."
"Maybe the one who can't live without you is your mysterious brown knight!"
"What?" I ask, shocked because I don't know who he is talking about.
Fortunately, he clears up my mind and moves his head to the door where I see a tall man with brown hair and sunglasses on his nose.
Shawn.
"Isn't he the brave and good man who saved your life at the party?" he whispers to my ear.
"Shut up, he's coming!" I whisper in turn.
I see Shawn walking up to the counter with still his sunglasses on while he always puts them off when he enters the diner. None of us says anything but then I want all this tension to be erased so I try to make a joke. He really seems to be angry but maybe it's just me.
"The vampire you are is scared to get burned because of the sun?" I say and laugh but nothing. Not even a smile, a laughter and he keep his sunglasses on. "Mister isn't funny as I see..." I try something else but still nothing.
The only thing he does is to, finally, put off his glasses and put them on his head.
What. Is. The. Actual. Heck.
What's going on?
Putting off his glasses reveals a total other face.
I understand why he had his glasses. Why he hadn't removed them as always. I also understand why my jokes didn't seem funny at all. And that's why I blame myself. I blame myself for not thinking before speaking. I blame myself for not having any tact.
He's puffy and bloodshot eyes squeeze my heart and the last traces that tears have left on his cheeks make his face even more fragile. He is vulnerable and I pressed where I definitely shouldn't have pressed.
I don't know what happened but the atmosphere around me freezes. I'm stuck here, in front of him, without knowing what to do. Biting the inside of my cheek and hating myself for trying to be funny.
He's in front of me, waiting for his drink, but says absolutely nothing. He looks straight into my eyes and seems so destroyed. So annihilated. As if something or maybe someone had taken everything from him.
I'm as stuck as he is and I surely have the heart as tight as his. I don't know why, but seeing him in this state makes my blood freeze.
Whatever it is, nobody deserves to be, or at least to seem, as destroyed as he is.
"Alyssa? People are waiting!" Josh's voice pulls me off my deep thoughts.
I take the cup and bring it to Shawn. My hand's shaking but my eyes are still locked into his.
None of us talk.
He just gets the drink and starts walking out from the diner.
"Shawn! Wait!" I shout and jump over the counter to join him outside and letting the consumer there. "Hey..." I shout when I get in the parking and he stops.
Nothing happens in a while but then he suddenly turns around to face me.
"Yes, Alyssa, You're right... It isn't funny to have a faithless girlfriend who cheats on you."
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Hey everybody! Here is the 31st chapter and I really hope you liked it because this time I haven't done a cliffhanger. See, I can be nice sometimes. Thank you for all the support.
I love you all.
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