Shawn nods and leaves the room. I'm now alone stressing out, with the doctor and my sleepy mom.
"Alyssa... Your mom is in this hospital for 2 months now but, even with the new machine and the pipe in her throat, it doesn't change anything. On the contrary, it's worse." I break down in tears and the rude reality hits me as a truck against a wall.
It wasn't a nightmare but a premonitory dream. I try to stay strong but I can't so I sit on the chair next to my mom's bed.
"Please... please doctor, tell me that there is a way she can heal," I say between two sobs.
"In fact, yes... We can do a surgery but-"
"But what?" I cut him off, standing up.
"As any other surgery there are risks but the fees are very high."
"I don't care. It's okay. I'll pay everything" I don't let him the time to add anything.
"Alyssa..."
"I said that I'll pay everything!" I almost shout but not too loud so I don't wake my mom.
He just nods and says that he has to prepare the papers. He leaves the room and I do the same after I kiss my mom's forehead.
Shawn is still here, waiting on a chair in the waiting room. I wipe my tears and clean up my messy hair before I join him and he raises his head up when I sit next to him.
"Hey... Bad news?" He asks softly and I couldn't hold back my tears.
Damn. I think I'll cry all the upcoming day.
My cries are quiet, no noise except the one that comes from my injuries, the one that illustrates my pain. That silence says a lot more than it seems.
"Yes..." I say, lowering my head, looking at my hands that can't stop shaking.
Shawn doesn't say anything but moves his hand to mine and holds it. It might be an insignificant move but it calms me down and I feel relaxed. I was tensed and stressed but everything is now gone. I lean my head on his shoulder and we stay like that until the doctor comes back.
He shows me the price and makes me sign a bunch of papers before he leaves us again.
Honestly, I don't know how I am supposed to pay this surgery because it's definitely not within my means.
"I have to go back home... my brother is probably scared and..." I realize that I was talking about my life as if he was interested. I just stop and start getting out. "Sorry,... I didn't want to bother and I'm sure you had plans for tomorrow... or for today" I say with a little smirk when I check the time on my phone.
5:56 am.
Great. And I'm working.
Shawn drives me home but before I get out of the car, something crosses my mind.
"I finished editing the last pictures, I'll send them to Andrew as soon as I can..." I open the door but he grabs my arm.
"Wait... You can send them to me... and... and take your time because... It's for something special and it isn't the result or even the theme I wanted for it..." He admits and I nod.
"I'll send them and then you can tell me if you want something else..." I start and when I look down, I remember that I'm wearing his hoodie. "You-You... Wait here... I just have to change so I can give you back your hoodie..."
"No!..." I look up confused at him. "I mean... You can keep it as long as you want, I won't take it back while it's cold outside" he says and makes me laugh.
"My house is like 2 footsteps from the car, I won't die of the coldness." He made me laugh without even trying and when I needed.
"Still." He says and I get in my house.
I apologize to the babysitter and pay her. Way more than I should have paid her but it's all my fault.
I go to Liam's room to check if everything is okay and I find him sleeping as an angel. I kiss my Superman's forehead and get in my room after I wash and put on my pajamas.
I'm scared.
I'm scared to drown so deep that I can't breathe back to live. I'm scared to mess up with everything and let all that's important to me escape from me.
I can feel my life being consumed little by little as if there was a countdown. One day everything will slip out of my hands and I couldn't do anything to get back. I can have the impression to control everything for it to happen as I want, except that it isn't true. It isn't possible. I am just a puppet of life who lives to finally die. But I also live to enjoy with the people who are important to me. At least, I can try. I will try and keep on doing this until my last breath.
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Hi! This is the 27th chapter and I hope you liked it. There isn't any Cliffhanger this time but so many things are coming!
Lov you all.
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