Yeee another chapter this week! Love you all and this fic sooooooo much! Please vote and if you want to, leave a comment 'cause it'd greatly help me and I love to hear from you guys SO much! Long chapter of 3k words for y'all! Have fun reading! 💗
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Joshua sighed while Jesse threaded his fingers through his hair comfortingly. He was laying on the bed with his head in Jesse's lap. Jared was sitting on the ground, resting his arms on the bed and he rested his chin atop of those.
"Never been in love and now I think I'm in love with a boy", Joshua muttered. "Maybe that's why you've never been in love before", Jared said. "How d'you mean?" Joshua asked. "Maybe you've never been in love 'cause you like boys and you always thought that you didn't", Jesse explained.
Joshua sighed. "I don't wanna think of this. Why does it have to happen to me? I already have the worst luck in the history of mankind and now this... Maybe I do like girls but Tyler's.... he's... he's an exception, or something", Joshua muttered.
"Well, whatever it is, we're here for you", Jared said. Joshua softly smiled at him, but sighed.
"I just wanna be normal", he mumbled softly.
"A special person will never be normal, J. That's what makes them special", Jesse said.
Joshua pressed his lips together tightly, feeling so lucky to still have his friends. "I love you guys", he whispered. "I-I mean, I mean", he then quickly stuttered.
"We know", Jesse replied. "We love you too."
"We really do", Jared added.
//
Joshua opened the door to to his cabin with Tyler, and saw that not only Tyler was there but also Troye and Jake.
"O-oh I'm sorry I-i didn't kn-know you guys w-were here", Joshua stuttered.
"Oh don't worry, it's your cabin", Troye smiled. Joshua softly returned it.
"H-hey Tyler can we-we talk for a m-minute?" Joshua asked. "Yeah sure, bunny", he smiled, hopping down his bed.
"Oh no we'll go outside, it's your cabin", Troye said, getting up from the bed and he and Jake left, waiting on the steps outside.
"Uhm..." Joshua trailed, not really knowing whether to sit down or keep standing. He decided to just sit down on his bed and Tyler sat down next to him. "What is it, bunny?" He asked.
"Uh... Jesse and J-Jared invited me to s-stay the night for-for like two n-nights", Joshua said. "I was w-wondering if-if y-you're okay with t-that", he mumbled.
"Well, does it make you happy? Are you excited for it?" Tyler asked. Joshua nodded.
"Then I'm definitely okay with that, silly", Tyler smiled. "If my bunny is happy then I am happy too", he added. Joshua smiled softly. "Thank-thank y-you", he stuttered. "Of course, bunny", Tyler said, rising to his feet. He pulled Joshua up. "D'you need to bring anything?" He asked. Joshua nodded. "I-I'll think I'll just bring m-my suitcase with the c-clothes that are s-still in there, and m-my tooth brush and t-tooth paste, and l-leave the rest here-here", Joshua nodded. "Sounds good to me. Then you don't have to grab any clothes now but you can just do that when you're there", Tyler hummed. He helped Joshua grab the few things he needed.
Joshua wrapped his arms around Tyler's waist and tightly hugged him. Tyler smiled, wrapping his arms around Joshua's neck and hugging him back.
"M'gonna m-miss you", Joshua softly said. "This isn't goodbye, bunny", Tyler chuckled. "We'll still see each other every day."
Joshua softly smiled. "I k-know. Just... I'll m-miss you at n-night", he said. Tyler pulled back a bit, pressing a long kiss on Joshua's forehead.
"I'm gonna miss you too, baby", Tyler said. "Come back to me whenever you want, hm?" He added. Joshua nodded, tightening his hug even more which made Tyler smile. He hugged his bunny and pressed a few kisses to his cheek, temple and forehead.
Joshua then pulled back, but his hands went up to Tyler's neck. He stood on his tippy toes and pressed a long kiss on Tyler's cheek. When he was properly on the ground again, he pecked Tyler's jaw before hugging him tightly again. He took a deep, shaky breath, closing his eyes. Tyler just held him close and kissed his face.
They finally pulled back and Joshua grabbed his suitcase that now contained everything he needed.
"I'll see you soon yeah?" Tyler smiled. Joshua nodded as they were about to open the door. Well, Tyler actually did open it, but Joshua pushed it closed again before hugging Tyler once more.
"Thank you f-for b-being my friend", Joshua whispered. "Always, baby. I'll always be your friend", Tyler replied.
They then let go of each other and properly opened the door. Troye raised an eyebrow as he saw Joshua walk out with his suitcase.
"Everything okay?" He asked, looking at Joshua before looking at Tyler.
"Yeah, absolutely", Tyler smiled. "His friends invited him for a sleep over so he'll sleep there for a few days", Tyler explained and Joshua nodded with a smile.
"Oh that's great, have fun Joshua", Troye smiled. "Yeah don't have too much fun without us hm?" Jake said. Joshua let out a laugh.
"B-Bye guys", he smiled, waving and blushing as he saw Tyler blow him a kiss.
//
"There you are! We already thought you decided not to come anyways", Jesse said, opening the door and seeing that Jared and Jesse had pushed their beds against each other to create one big bed.
"Yeah sorry, I uh, I got caught up", Joshua nodded, putting his suitcase down. He grabbed his stuffy.
"Y'know that we wanna know more now, hm?" Jared hummed.
Joshua sighed, flopping down on the bed with his face in one of the pillows. He then turned on his back and cuddled his stuffy to his chest.
"...I got caught up hugging Tyler", he mumbled. He didn't have to tell more 'cause it was enough for Jesse and Jared, they didn't mind whether or not Joshua wanted to tell more but Joshua didn't even think of that.
"I just... I'm gonna miss him and I just wanted to hug him tightly and... I don't know", Joshua mumbled. Jesse crawled on the bed, laying down next to Joshua and Jared lay down on the other side of Joshua.
"You know you don't have to stay right? You can always go back", Jesse said.
"I know but I already said I was gonna stay the night here, so I will", Joshua replied.
"Can I ask you something though?" Jared then started, and Joshua nodded. "Why d'you keep saying you think you're in love with Tyler and not that you are in love with him?" He asked.
Joshua bit his lip, looking up at the ceiling.
"I've never been in love before so how do I know that for sure?" He wondered.
"Well, tell us what you feel and stuff like that when you think or when you're around Tyler", Jesse suggested.
"...okay, well..." Joshua trailed. "First of all, I really like how he looks. Like... I think he's really cute and soft looking even though he's been through so much and did so many things that he wasn't allowed to and if he doesn't care about something, then he really doesn't care about something, yknow? And yet I always wanna cuddle him 'cause his hair is so soft and his cheeks are so cute and his crooked teeth are the cutest thing I've ever seen and I just wanna be in his arms and fall asleep and never wake up if I can stay there forever. And when he smiles at me or calls me nicknames it makes my heart flutter and it makes my tummy feel so weird and I get nervous and my heart speeds up but I just want him to keep calling me that forever and I just love hearing his voice so much. I could listen to him talk forever. I don't care about what he'd talk, just hearing him talk makes me happy. And his laugh is just... So comforting. And how he looks at me, for too long to be 'normal' and when I catch him he doesn't turn away but he just smiles at me. And his smile is one of my favorite things too. And he makes me so nervous, and he causes me to constantly stutter and I hate it because I know that it's because I just don't want to... I don't want him to think negative about me and I don't want to do something wrong and it makes me nervous but at the same time I feel so safe and comfortable around him? 'Cause I mean... Every time I get hurt, he cares so much. And he takes care of me as much as he can and he is always looking out for me and when he sees I'm uncomfortable he does everything to make sure I'm comfy. And... I'm not afraid to close my eyes when I'm with him", Joshua softly sighed. "And you both know that I don't like closing my eyes. But when I'm with him, I just... It's so easy to close my eyes. It's so easy to trust him. Life seems so easy around him. And he wants to cuddle me just as much as I wanna cuddle him and he actually started kissing my cheek and my forehead and first I never did it back 'cause it made me nervous but now I just never wanna stop pecking his cheeks and his knuckles and his shoulders and I wanna hug him everywhere and he holds my hand under the table at dinner sometimes and he twirls me around and hugs me from behind when we dance together and he always tells me how proud he is of me, and that he'll always be there for me, and that he's so happy every time we hang out 'cause I'm so special to him and..." Joshua rambled, but then stopped talking.
"...I really am in love, am I", he muttered.
Jesse softly sighed, nodding. "Yeah, you are, J", he said. Joshua sighed deeply, looking up at the ceiling. It was silent for a long time, but it was a comforting silence.
"I don't know what to do", Joshua whispered.
"You don't have to know that right now", Jared replied and Jesse nodded in agreement. "When did you admit to yourself that you like him?" Jesse asked. "...Today", Joshua softly replied.
"Well, then you don't need to know the answer already", Jesse replied. Jared hummed. "Just... Let it sink in for a bit. Take some time to get your thoughts straight and see how you feel about it all. I mean, you only realized and admitted it today. You can take your time", Jared said.
Joshua sighed, knowing his friends were probably right. And their advise was so non-judgemental. That was exactly what he needed.
He nodded. "Thanks for letting me stay here for a few nights, guys. And just... Thank you for being so... Supportive, I guess. I was honestly so scared I was gonna lose you both", Joshua admitted.
"Never, Joshua! Of course we support you. You're our best friend! And you can always stay with us, whenever you want", Jesse said, hugging Joshua. Joshua smiled, hugging his friend back tightly and then turning around to give Jared a hug too.
//
Joshua was trying to fall asleep at 3 AM, but he was scared to close his eyes. It'd been a while since he'd slept in a bed without Tyler and it just wasn't the same, even if Jared and Jesse were his best friends. Both were already asleep and Joshua just couldn't seem to fall asleep as well. He knew he was gonna be tired the next morning.
Joshua was on the right side now: Jesse was in the middle and Jared was on the left. Joshua wanted to keep his phone close so that's why they switched positions and Joshua's phone was charging close to his side of the bed.
Every little sound or shadow was enough to immediately distract Joshua from trying to fall asleep and he absolutely hated it. But thanks to that, he noticed his phone softly buzzing. He grabbed it, turning down the light of his phone and checking what caused his phone to buzz.
Tyler: I miss you
Joshua blushed as he read the text. He unlocked his phone and turned on his side to block the remaining light from Jesse and Jared.
Joshua: I miss you too Tyler
Tyler: Kinda wanna give you a hug right now
Joshua: Come hug me goodnight
Tyler: Alright, on my way
Joshua: Wait really?
Tyler: Yeah of course
Joshua: You don't have to get out of bed for that, Tyler
Tyler: Maybe, but I want to. Let me put on some shoes
Joshua blushed, a smile spreading across his lips as he read the message. He bit his lip, trying to hide his smile even though there was no one who could see it.
Joshua: Okay but text me when you're here instead of knocking please. Jesse and Jared are asleep already
Tyler: Alright bunny, will do. See you in a bit
Joshua blushed with a smile as he sat up. He put some socks on and pulled on a hoodie, pulling the hood over his brown curls. He waited until he got a text message from Tyler, saying that he was outside.
Joshua got up, quietly walking to the door. He unlocked the door with the key that was on the lock on the inside and opened the door to see Tyler leaning against the banister taking a drag from his cigarette.
Joshua immediately blushed as he saw Tyler smile at him. He pushed himself off the banister and Joshua left the door open a little as he walked up to Tyler and wrapped his arms around him. He buried his nose in Tyler's soft hoodie, inhaling the sweet scent of Tyler's deodorant mixed with cigarette smoke and it smelled oh so domestic and lovely to him.
They pulled back and Tyler pressed a kiss on Joshua's forehead. "You should go get some sleep, bunny", he softly spoke. Joshua buried his face in Tyler's hoodie again and he shook his head. He pulled back just a little so he could speak.
"I c-cant sleep any-anyways", he stuttered. "How come, baby?" Tyler asked concerned, caressing Joshua's hair back.
"I-I'm afraid to-to c-close m-my eyes", he muttered. "Right, that's true", Tyler sighed. He hugged Joshua again.
"What if we just sit down for a bit?" Tyler suggested and Joshua nodded. Tyler sat down on the top step with his back against the banister and Joshua wanted to sit down next to him, but Tyler grabbed Joshua's arm. He gave Tyler a questioning look, before Tyler flicked his cigarette away and pulled Joshua in his lap.
Joshua blushed, his right side and arm against Tyler's torso so he was on Tyler's lap sideways. He rested his head in the crook of Tyler's neck, cuddling up to him in his lap.
Tyler wrapped his left arm around Joshua and rested his right arm on Joshua's thigh. He pressed some soft kisses on his forehead and cheek.
Joshua softly smiled, closing his eyes. They spoke a few words, but not many. They just enjoyed each other's presence under the star filled night sky.
Tyler mostly buried his nose in Joshua's curls and left kisses there. And after fifteen, twenty minutes, he noticed that Joshua had fallen asleep in his lap.
Tyler waited a few more minutes, before hooking his arm under Joshua's knees and he carefully stood up with Joshua in his arms. When he safely managed to do so, Joshua was still asleep. He opened the door to the cabin fully, walked in and saw the free spot in the bed, figuring that was where Joshua had been laying. He quietly made his way there and then put Joshua down on the bed. He grabbed the blankets, pulling them atop of Joshua and making sure he was comfy.
"T-Tyler?" Joshua whispered, eyes fluttering open just slightly. "Yeah I'm here, baby", he whispered. "D-don't leave", Joshua softly stuttered.
"I can't, baby. You're with Jesse and Jared, remember?" He whispered, sitting down on the bed before caressing the soft cheek of his sleep deprived baby. Joshua softly sighed. "R-right", he replied.
"I n-need to lock-lock t-the door", he stuttered sleepily.
"I'll do it for you, and I'll slide the key under the door", Tyler promised. Joshua let out a soft breath and nodded.
"Just go back to sleep, baby. I'll see you in a few hours", Tyler whispered. He grabbed Joshua's hand, kissing his knuckles and then leaning down to kiss Joshua's cheek.
"Mhm o-okay", Joshua sleepily sighed. Tyler gave Joshua his stuffy and Joshua hugged it to his chest. Tyler caressed Joshua's hair, and cheek, calming him down and Joshua closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep again.
All thanks to Tyler.
A few minutes after Joshua fell asleep, Tyler got up. He leaned down to press a long soft kiss to Joshua's cheek and another one on his forehead.
"Sleep well, Joshua", he whispered softly. He then walked to the door, grabbed the key and left the cabin. He locked the door from outside and slid the key under the door.
Tyler lit a cigarette after he bit his lip. He made his way back to his cabin at 4 AM.
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