Niall's POV
I was really into my deep thoughts when my mum interrupted me once again. "Ready to go?"
Her shoulder length blonde hair accentuates the floral design clothing under her pink cardigan with the faded denim jeans she's wearing. Her feet were somehow covered with the black strap of gladiator sandals. Simplicity at its best. My mum is not really that fashionable but it really looks good on her.
"Sure." I nodded as I followed her out of the living room and out of the main door. Although, Rover whimpered as we left the house. It broke my heart when I heard that noise coming from a dog. I felt like we were never coming back.
As I sat down on the seat beside the driver's seat in the car, my mind is still filled with confusion. The feeling behind my torn feelings between Liam and Zayn is bugging me for a while now. I just wish that I could put it to rest but I don't know where to start.
"You have that face again," my mum pinched my cheeks, turning it to bright pink. I really need to stop zoning out in front of my mum. She can easily read single move I make. The sole reason that I went back to Mullingar is to spend good quality time with my family and yet my mind and my heart is somewhere else but when I'm at the London mansion, all I could think about is feeling remorse for not seeing my family. What is with me?!
"Sorry, mum," I said while pushing down the button on the door for the window to go down. Letting the chilly wind hit my face made me wiggle. I keep wondering what would my father say if I showed up unannounced. My father and I are not that much close but it doesn't mean that I don't love him. I have very much deep respect over my father. The most accurate description for my father would be 'the man with few words.' I kind of get used to it though but growing up is a little bit harder for him because of the divorce and my brother and myself would sometimes at his place and sometimes with my mother's. As years passed, we decided if we stayed at just one place and that would be at my father's. And every other weekend, we would spend at my mum's.
"What do you think your father would say?" She turned the ignition of the car. The engine roared to life and the wiper blades starts moving instantly, motioning from left to right. She immediately turned off the wiper blades located on the bottom left corner of the steering wheel. Then, she adjusted the rear view window.
"About what?" I asked while I looked at her adjusting the window.
"You showing up all of a sudden." She smiled when she centered the rearview window. She extended her arms to reach out for the seat belt and drag it across her chest and wait for it to attached then we heard a clicking sound.
"You know your father is bad at surprises. And remember, he had that heart issue."
Hearing it once more made me worried. For years now, my dad would complain about his chest. Greg keeps bugging him to go to the doctor's but he won't budge at all. He said that the meat shop requires more attention than his chest then they would argue about neglecting our father's health. Greg is definitely not interested on the meat shop and so am I. It really raises a concern to me knowing that our grandfather died from a heart attack. Maybe I should give dad another talk to this heart issue, maybe, just maybe he will listen to me.
"I'm sorry, mum. You think I shouldn't come home?"
She cupped my cheeks and gives me kisses. "Oh sweetie, no of course not. I am definitely happy that you pay us a visit. I'm still grateful that with your hectic schedule, you can still have a time to think about your family."
"Aw, mum. You're making me blush." My cheeks are turning pink at every second. I really like it when mum does that, making me feel like a baby. I miss that feeling.
She stepped on the gas pedal and the car jerked forward giving me a startled reaction. I immediately held tight on my seat and hoping that I won't be thrown out in the front and breaking the glass.
"Mum, how old is this car?" My head turning in her direction while catching my breath; it's not like everyday you felt throwing yourself and crashing your whole body onto the tinted glass of the car.
She chuckled and made an apologetic look at me. "I would think, it's about twenty years."
My jaw dropped. I couldn't even begin to fathom on how this vehicle can still run at streets. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't be surprised if this car stopped all of a sudden. And it did, the engine became lifeless.
"Oh shoot!" My mum cursed at the steering wheel. There was nothing left for me to do but to burst out from laughing. I think this car is telepathic; it could definitely read my thoughts. Then she started caressing the steering wheel. "Come on, John! Don't let me down this time." She said in a sing-song tone.
"Who's John?" I asked while chuckling so hard. At the back of my mind, I knew what she meant.
"My car."
"You name your car John?" I asked in a high-pitched tone. Why would people name their car? I really don't understand the logic behind it. It's not like the car would talk back. Just the thought of it makes me heard laughing inside my head.
"Mum, I told you I'd buy you a new one." Convincing my mother to replace this vehicle requires more than of my leprechaun luck. Praying to every god and every saint I know is what I should do then hopefully a miracle would come knocking on my door.
"I told you I'm not giving up this car." She insisted. I really don't understand why she's so attached to this crappy car that's barely breathing and burying is the only choice for this vehicle.
"Why not?"
"Because..." She paused. I stared at her, waiting for her respond. She turned away her gaze at me and looked forward. "Because this car brought many special memories to me." She lets out a weak sweet voice on her mouth.
"Special memories? Like what?"
She looked at me once again and ran her fingers on my hair then cupped my cheeks. "This is where your father and I made you."
I was taken aback on what I heard. Hearing it from my mother felt like someone stuffed a whole jar of vegemite on my mouth. Gagging is the next reasonable thing to do.
"You mean, you and dad..." I asked, confirming what I think she meant what she said. She nodded then chuckled. And I gag for real this time. I know it's sweet but it's gross! It felt like a million caterpillars were crawling on my skin all over my body. It gave me a shivering feeling.
"Mum, I don't wanna hear it." I whined and buried my face on my palms.
"But it's true, this is where we-"
I didn't even bother to let her finish her sentence so I yelled la-la-la sound on my mouth and forcefully put both of my index fingers on my ear so I wouldn't hear what she's going to say.
"La la la la la..." I yelled and yelled until I sound like a broken record. I really can't believe my mum would share that kind of information to her son. It's atrocious to the point that it's funny anymore but I find myself laughing.
She yanked my hands from my ear. "I just answered your question."
"Aw, mum. Since when did you become a smartass?" I said in a mocking tone. I laughed at her. I'm really happy that I could have this bonding moment with my mother. There's nothing in this world that made me happier than with her right here right now.
She started the ignition again but the engine won't turn on. She tried it again for at least three more tries but it didn't work. She started digging on her brown purse and trying to locate something.
"Mum, what are you doing?" I shot her with a confused look.
"Looking for my phone."
She shrieked when she found it. Then start scrolling on her Blackberry Bold.
"Who are you calling?" I asked irritably. She grinned while she put the phone in her ears. It felt like she was planning something mischievous, something Louis would do. It scared me a little bit. Who wouldn't?
"Uh hello? John broke down again." I heard my mum speaking while her huge grin is flashed on her face. There were some wrinkles forming on her face most especially on the forehead area. She wasn't really the type of mother who would care about those types of things. Other mothers would definitely freaked out if they saw wrinkles on their face and botox is the only solution they could find. My mum is more of like a natural beauty to me. She will always be beautiful in my eyes.
She keeps nodding and I'm really curious on who's she talking to. I was about to speak out when she covered my mouth from speaking. "So you can pick me up?"
Then she hangs up after a while. "Mum, what the hell?!" I pushed away her hand on my mouth.
"It's a surprise."
"Huh?" Confusion starts to hover on my face. I really don't know what she's talking about. Besides, I hate surprises. I just don't like it. You really never know what's going to happen.
We sit there inside the car while waiting for this 'surprise' that my mum mentioned. Anticipation is really not my thing. As you can see, I'm an impatient person. I really want to know what the surprise is. Suddenly, my mum spoke.
"So what are you gonna do?" She asked. There was seriousness imprinted in her voice. More of like a concerned tone.
"About what?" I replied quickly, still trying to figure out what she meant. My eyes were looking forward, not even glancing at her.
"About your feelings." Then, I felt my neck moving by itself. I saw my mum's worried look all over her face. Somehow, I felt relief washing all over me. Realizing that my mother was worried about my own love problems. I never really thought that I'd be having this conversation with my mum. I always knew that growing up is when you learn things from your parents. They gave you advice on your problems and you do it then you move on. But this time, I don't know what to do and I'm not sure I'm ready to face it without hurting the other.
I knew from the very beginning that I have strong feelings toward Liam. He is always there when I need him, no questions ask. I do like that side of Liam because I know at the back of my mind that he will never leave me when the tough gets going. But at the same time, when I'm with Zayn, I felt so breathless. He was the first boy who made me feel that way. The feeling that when you saw your crush walking down the hallway and he acknowledge your presence, the feeling of million butterflies flying around your stomach and the feeling of making your toe curls. Zayn also made me feel that I'm the only one for him and making me squeal deep inside in a good way. The world suddenly slowed down when he kissed me, the type of sensation that you only see on the movies. These are the things I felt when I'm with Zayn.
"So?" She raised her eyebrow at me, still waiting for a response. Even myself don't know what I'm truly feeling. Just confused.
"I don't know." Those words are the only thing that I can utter right now. I am very disappointed with myself. Then I bent down my head.
"It's okay, Niall. You'll get through it." She starts caressing my back, reassuring that every thing will be okay.
"But if I were you, I'd pick Zayn."
When I heard that, it felt like someone shot me with a taser gun. A shockwave of electricity run through all over me and once again my neck is moving on its own, turning on my mum's face.
"And why's that?" Curiosity suddenly crept up on me. I desperately want to know her reasoning behind why would she pick Zayn over Liam. I bet my face gave me away.
"I mean, look at that boy. Gorgeousness would be an understatement." Her voice was loud and clear. Her face lights up, which made me smile. She is really serious about Zayn and me. "Besides, he had these tattoos all over him and I bet he could make you scream." She said bluntly with a straight face.
My face turns red in an instant. I never felt this flustered before in my entire life. I buried my face on my hands. I really can't believe my own mother would say that in front of me. There were mix emotions of embarrassment and ashamed flowing through me.
"I'll pretend I didn't heard what you just said," I said while massaging my red cheeks to return to my normal complexion. She just laughed at me hysterically that it echoed on the whole car.
"What?! It's not like you kiss him already." She said jokingly, playfully hitting me on my arm. I gulped. It reminded me of those two intimate moments I shared with Zayn. Unfortunately, my mum, as quick she was, she immediately read what I'm thinking.
"You didn't!" She was grinning so wide that you could put a hanger inside her mouth. I could tell that she's feeling a lot of emotions as well.
"Yes, I did..." I caught myself smiling and I was a little embarrassed by it. "twice." I cupped my hands on my cheeks, which are turning red once again.
My mum let out a high-pitched squeal to the point that it almost shattered the car glass surrounding us. She instantly pulled me and gives me a big, tight hug that she almost suffocates me.
"I am so proud of you!"
My ears were still ringing from that noise my mum lets out from her mouth. I wasn't able to react right away. I felt like my head was spinning around so fast that I didn't know what was happening around me.
She slightly push me away then cupped my cheeks. Her eyes are full of curiosity, wanting to know every single detail and I'm scared that she will pull it out on me at once.
"So when did this happened?" Her eyes sparkled like a child looking at a cone full of chocolate ice cream.
I told her every single detail from our first kiss when Zayn kissed me on the kitchen one night while I was looking for something to eat. Then another kiss we shared when Zayn helped me on the shower when my hand was badly injured.
"He definitely likes you." She said with sincerity behind her tone. I want to believe her but somewhere inside me I shouldn't. Besides, Zayn already told me that he likes Liam and he was just using me as a practice to give Liam the perfect kiss. But I didn't tell that to my mum, she would be furious. I just don't want to burst her bubble.
Suddenly, we heard a red Toyota pick up truck stopped in front of us. Not a moment later, I recognized the driver who got out of the vehicle. It was Greg. He was wearing a black coveralls made of cotton; a blue tinted sunglasses covered his eyes, and white cap was placed on his head.
"He's here." Mum pointed Greg getting out of the car.
"This was your surprise?" I asked.
"Yeah, to him."
Greg's face was in horror when he saw me getting out of the car. Then, that nightmare memory haunts my mind once again. Those horrible events flashed before my very eyes. I wonder if it'll happen, I hope not.
The next thing I knew was Greg rushing toward me and lift me up. Definitely, not the reaction I was expecting. I caught myself smiling and beads of tears flowing through my eyes. This is a definitely tear of joy and I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm crying in front of my brother.
He puts me down and said in a deep voice. "Crybaby, I miss you."
I forgot that's what my brother calls me ever since that knee-grazing event. It really got stuck on me. When I was a kid, I really hate it when Greg calls me that; my friends started to teased me that I'm way too delicate or too emotional but now I'm loving that nickname. It's more of like his way of sending his brotherly love towards me. I know this may sound so weird to others but for me, I totally love it!
He pinched my cheeks so hard that he almost cut off the circulation on my cheeks, turning it bright red.
"Ouch! Let go, Greg!" I hit him playfully. I was trying to let go from his grip on my cheeks. Once he let go, he took off his sunglasses.
"When did you arrive?"
"Couple of hours ago." I smiled. I felt like tears were forming once again on my eyes but I tried my best to hold it in. I really don't want to cry again. Now, it would be embarrassing for the second time around. No words can express how delightful I am to see my brother.
"Are you in trouble?"
"No, that's what mum said exactly earlier." I chuckled then I turn around to look at mum who was smiling at us. A warm smile flashed through her delighted face.
Greg wrapped his arms around my neck. "Let's have a drink later."
"You're on!" I said. A smirk suddenly flashed on my face. My brother always challenged me on drinking but unfortunately I always lost to him. I think he has a better tolerance when it comes to alcohol and I don't.
"This time, you will lose!" I said, playfully threatening him.
"I think I heard that a million times and yet you keep losing." He said in a taunting tone then followed by a very annoying laugh. He turns his head and looked at mum.
"Mum, where are you taking Niall?" He yelled at mum, who was talking constantly on her phone. She just waved her hand, indicating not to say anything.
Greg attached a huge metallic hook in front of the lifeless car. Then, he leads us into his pickup truck. He turned the ignition of his car and it roared into life. It was quiet drive for a couple of minutes then suddenly Greg spoke in this worried tone.
"Niall, you should talk to dad."
Somehow, I felt a bone-chilling shiver runs through my spine. It's not what he said; it's how he said. There was a cryptic message behind it, I could tell.
"Why? Did something happen to dad?" I asked, looking intently to Greg, whose main focus was on his driving. I waited for his response but nothing came out. Then, I turn my head to my right to look at my mom. She had this concerned look on her face. They're hiding something.
"Mum..." My voice trailed off. I think I knew what they're hiding but I'm too scared to admit to myself.
I held to my mother's hand and press it gently. This feeling of negativity washing all over me made me doubt on myself and I don't like it one bit.
"What happened to dad?" I asked once again.
She paused and looked at me. She ran her warm hands on my cheeks. I could tell that she's worried that whatever she's going to tell me might shatter me.
"Well, your father has..."
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