CHRISTINA
"There right there. Hold it"
"Pucker your lips a bit more. Okay release them and have them slightly hanging. But sexy"
"Alright change pose. There. Perfect. You are such a natural Ella"
Ella. I was once so familiar with that name. But I've always been Christina. I may have tried so hard to severe my tie with her but she is me. She will always be a part of me. A very large part of me.
"I've got plenty of shots for Vogue. We're done for today" he smiles and turns off his camera
"Thank you Carlos" I smile at him before he turns away and walks off.
I sigh getting down from the little set they had made and go to the changing room. I put on my black dress that fits me a little tight and heels. I grab my purse and take out my phone as I step out of the dressing room. I open Grayson's text message that he had left me 30 minutes ago.
Sadly me, eth, Christian and the kids already ate. Make sure to get yourself food. Not something too good because then I'll be jealous I didn't tell them to wait for you;)
I smile at the text he sent me and began to type back.
My shoot is over now and just because y'all are without me I'm going to pick up your favorite :))))
He immediately texts me back.
No. You like to torture me don't you :(
He sends another message before I can reply.
I'll just steal your food when you're not looking ;)
I mug at my phone not realizing he can't see me mugging.
Touch my food and I'll murder you in you're sleep :)))))))
Dam alright nvm, just get home safe, love you💘
I smile once more at be simple text and put my phone into my purse making my way to my Range Rover. Oh how I love this beauty. Simple but classic. I had waited weeks before I could actually drive her. They took their precious ass time making it matte black. But I have to say the wait was worth it.
I start to drive home with Post Malone on the radio. I start to sing along to the lyrics.
They said I will be nothing.
Now they always say congratulations.
Worked so hard forgot how to vacation.
They ain't ever had the dedication.
People hating said we changed and look we made it.
Yeah we made it.
They was never friendly, Yeah
Now I'm jumping out the Bentley, yeah
And I know I sound dramatic, yeah
But I knew I had to have it, yeah
For the money, I'm a savage, yeah
I'm surrounded by twenty bad bitches, yuh
But they didn't know me last year, yuh
Everyone wanna act like they important
But all that meant nothing when I saw my dough
Everyone countin on me, drop the ball
Everything custom like I'm at the border
If ya fuck with winning, put your lighters to the sky
How could I make cents when I got millions on my mind
God when was the last time I actually heard that song. I think it's been maybe 3 or 4 years since that song came out. I remember when everyone loved and played that song. It was honestly so relevant at the time. Ah. Post Malone. An amazing singer. But my favorite song has to be I Fall Apart. Without a doubt one of the best songs he's ever written and sang. My thoughts are interrupted when I get a call. I check the caller ID and it's unknown. I furrow my eyebrows. I was about to ignore it until I answered it.
"Hello?" I ask waiting for a response.
"Christ-" the phone cuts off.
That was extremely weird. Who was that? How did they know my name? What the fuck.
~
I sit on the couch throwing off my heels. Taking off your heels after a long day of walking around in them is the best feeling you can ever imagine. I lay my head back and close my eyes wanting to take a nap. But before I can my phone rings.
"Hello?"
"Is this Christina Hernandez?"
"Yes. Who is this?" I ask.
"I am the prosecutor on your fathers case. And I'm sorry to say but he's been released as of yesterday. I'm so sorry"
I scream. I just let it all out. Everything I've bottled down these past years I let go. All of my emotions just explode at once. It over comes everything I've ever felt and drags me back down to the darkness I was stuck in for such a large part of my life. I drop the phone and fall the the floor. I don't make any movements. I stay completely still on the floor crying my eyes out.
He can't be out. He just can't be. He still has nearly 17 years left in prison. He can't be out. Not this early. Why would they ever let him out? Even after everything he's done. Why!?
Tears vigorously fall down my eyes and past my cheeks and onto the cold floor I lay on. I rock myself back and forth crying. After all this time they just let him go without another thought.
"Christina?!" Grayson yells making his way over to me.
"Christina!" He yells again.
Christian runs in the living room and runs towards me.
"What's wrong with her?!" He yells at Grayson.
"I don't know she just started screaming and crying" he tells him.
"Get out!"
"No!"
"Grayson leave now!"
"No I won't leave her!"
"This has nothing to do with you!"
"If it's about her then yes it has everything to do with me!" Grayson yells back.
Grayson wraps his arms around me tightly. He shushes me trying to make me feel better but at this moment nothing will make me feel better. I push Grayson away and hold onto Christian as he used to when we were children. I need my brother right now. He holds me close as I cry loudly. I don't need to tell Christian but I know he already has an idea as to what I'm crying.
I never told Christian the full truth about what he did to me. Christian only knows about the physical abuse but not the sexual abuse that went on. I could never bring myself to tell him. If I ever told him he could've killed him. And I couldn't bare to lose Christian at a time I needed him the most. I kept my mouth shut and didn't tell anyone what he did. Not even mom. I knew he did it to her, too. Maybe if I'd told her sooner she would've left him. But instead I kept quiet. How could I bring myself to tell my mom how he raped me? I couldn't. It'd be too much for her to bare. As well as Christian.
After awhile of crying in his arms I finally stop. He just rocks me back and forth not wanting to upset me more than I already am.
"Christina?" Christian looks into my eyes as do I.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"He-he-hes" I struggle to tell him.
"I'm here. Tell me" he brushes away a single tear that had fallen onto my cheek.
"He's out" the words fall from my mouth.
It doesn't feel like I said it yet I did.
Christian looks away as his eyes widen and start to tear up. He continues to hold me as I hold him.
"What are you talking about?" Grayson looks at me.
I can't bare to bring myself to tell him. I look over to Ethan who's focused on me. I give him a look that lets him know that I know that he knows about my childhood. He soon looks over to Grayson.
"Grayson come on, let's go check on the kids" Ethan tells him.
"No. You can do it yourself" Grayson keeps his eyes on me.
I give him a look that tells him please. He sighs and walks off with Ethan to the twins room. I hold Christian for a few more moments before letting him go.
"How long has he been out?" He asks.
"He got out yesterday"
"Did they tell you why?" He looks at me with his concerned blue eyes.
"BE he's out. And there's nothing we can do about it. I don't understand why they would release him but they did" I sigh.
"How are you so content with this?
I let out a deep breath that I was holding in. I look down and look back into his eyes.
"Christina?"
"BE we need to talk"
"Talk about what?" He scoots away not wanting to hear what I have to say.
"I know you're thinking I helped him get out"
"Did you" he looks at me with his big blue eyes as his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth held slightly open.
"No"
"Then what is is?"
"BE. You can't get mad or freak out" I look away.
"Christina tell me, dime"
"Cameron wasn't the only one who raped me" I try not to look at him.
"What are you saying?" He says not wanting to believe it.
"Dad raped me too" tears start to form at the bridge of my eyes.
"Christina. Why didn't you tell me?" His voice grows shaky.
"Because I couldn't" I finally build up the courage to look at him and even then I don't look him in the eyes.
"Look at me"
Unwillingly I do look at him.
"When did it start and how long did it go on for?" His eyes begin to get glossy.
"It started when I first turned 10 and didn't end till he went to prison" my lips tremble as more tears continue to fall down my cheeks.
He moves away even further covering his face. He slightly sobs. I get closer and hold him until I see Grayson standing by the wall. He looks at me with pure sadness and tears slowly escaping his eyes. He had heard everything I told Christian. I know he did. The way he's looking at me tell me that he knows. Ethan didn't know the worst part but now Grayson does. And sadly I wish he didn't. But he does and I can't change that.
He now knows my deepest darkest secrets. I know from now on he will no longer see me as he once did but as a victim. Not as the mother of his children but as a survivor of horrendous things. Not as the love of his life but as a sad soul. And maybe that is what I am. Maybe I just haven't realized it until now. That's really what I am. A sad soul.
***
Who was the one who called Christina?
Why did she not tell Christian what their father did to her growing up?
Why did she bottle down all over her emotions over the years?
Why does she believe Grayson won't look at her the same way anymore?
How does Grayson see her now?
Does he still love her with the same love he once did and sees her as the same person he always has?
Or did his perspective of her change?
~
~
~
A/N
This chapter wasn't as long as I wanted it to be but oh well here it is. I might or might not update tomorrow it just depends on the amount of homework o have tomorrow and how tired I will be after basketball practice. But love y'all so much, bye :)