CHRISTINA
Screams fill the empty house as me and Christian both run into a closet to hide in. Tears race down my cheeks making them red. Christian holds me in his arms shushing me so I'd stop crying.
"It will be okay, just stop crying por favor no llores, toda estará bien, solo deja de llorar. Estoy aquí, estoy aquí" he runs his hands through my hair calming me down.
"Where are you!?" His yells echo off the walls.
"WHERE ARE YOU?!"
We both stay silent hoping he'll go away. We both tremble as the sounds of footsteps gets louder soon making its way to the front of the closet we are hiding in.
"CHRISTINA!" He yells making me jump.
The closet doors are thrown open to reveal both Christian and I trembling in each other's arms.
"Christina get up!" He yells forcing more tears to come to the surface racing down my cheeks.
"GET UP!"
I immediately jump up as fast as I can not wanting to but by will.
"Now this is what happens when you don't listen!" He yells slapping me across the face.
He starts to remove his belt when Christian jumps up in front of me trying to shield me from his hits.
"So you want to be a hero, huh. Let me show you what happens to people who have no business getting into things that doesn't involve them!" He yells beating Christian with his belt.
"Stop" I cry.
"Please just stop" I fall to the floor rocking myself back and forth covering my ears to not hear Christian's cries for help.
"Christina!" Christian cries.
"Christina!"
"Christina"
"Stop, Stop, Stop, Stop, Stop, STOP" I scream wanting it all to go away.
"Christina, wake up! Wake up!" Christian yells.
I wake up trembling in my sweat and tears. He pulls me into a hug trying to comfort me and stop me from crying. But I let it all out. I can't keep it in anymore. He's finally back in my nightmares after years of therapy. He's back.
~
"It was another nightmare, wasn't it?" Christian sighs after closing the door not wanting Grayson to hear.
"It's not a nightmare Christian, it's our past" I explain.
"It's a part of us and it always will be. And we can't change that. We can't change what he did to us. What he did to mom" I start to tear up.
"You woke up screaming stop. Which one was it?" He hangs his head not wanting an answer knowing he will get one.
"You were 8 I was six. We both hid in the closet hoping everything would just stop. But her screams got louder until finally they just stopped. And then once more his screams filled the house. He beat you with his belt while you tried to protect me. And I sat there watching it happen screaming my lungs out for it to stop. But it never did" I break out into sobs.
He rushes over to hug me. I cry into his shoulder knowing I had brought up a part of our lives we both swore we'd never talk about again. But I can't keep it in anymore. With all that's happened it's like my deep, dark past is trying to tell me that I won't ever escape the hell of a life that I live. This is my very own personal hell.
~
"Ella?" Grayson knocks on the door poking his head in with a concerned face.
"Yeah?"
"You okay?"
"I am now" I sigh.
"You were screaming. Are you sure you're okay? I'm here for you to talk. I'll always be here" he sits on the edge of the bed.
My heart tears at his words. I know he wants to protect me but he can't protect me from my past. I wish I could tell him but it's too much for me to bare. To have to relive all of those times over again, I don't think I'd be able to handle it.
"I know, I just had a nightmare. I used to have them all of the time until they stopped for a while. I think maybe all the stress is getting to me" I faintly smile trying to lighten the mood.
"Nothings been easy lately, I know that, but you need to take it slow. You're a mom. You're kids do need you. Every kid needs their mom. How about we all go out somewhere? You know, finally getting some family time in" he grins that big beautiful grin that's always made me say yes to him. No one could ever say no, I know I definitely can't.
"Yeah, that'd be nice."
"Great me and Ethan will get the kids ready and you can go tell Christian and you can get dressed" he squeezes my thigh before getting up to kiss me on the forehead and walks out of the room.
My heart flutters. I miss the contact and connection we had. We still have it but it hardly ever flames up like it used to. Now it's just sparks. I miss the flames. But I guess flames always start with sparks.
I get up and go through my clothes that say in my closet for the longest. Touching each and every material waiting for one to catch my eye. And one did. The dress Grayson bought me. My favorite dress. The top white while the bottom had a purple floral decoration.
It shows part of my stomach but to me my scars always felt like my story. It's a part of me. No matter how hard I try it will always be connected to me. Always. I can't run from it. I can't hide from it. Because it is me. It's always been me.
I pull it off the hanger and put it on. It fits perfectly. Just like it did when I first wore it. I pull out my black Steve Madden heels. And put them on. Standing in front of the mirror I sigh. I feel the material not wanting to let it go. I pull a section of the side of my hair and braid it into three small braids. The rest of my hair remains as thick and blonde as ever.
"Ready to go babe?" Grayson's pokes his head through the door.
"Yeah, lets go" i try to smile faintly but fail.
Grabbing my bag I walk out the door and close it. They all stand there waiting for me.
"What?" I question.
They just stare at me. Not saying a thing. Just complete and utter silence. I furrow my brows. What is going on?
"Good to know my little sister knows how to clean herself up well"Christian laughs.
"Um...... yeaaahh?" I say unsure of what's going on.
"So are we going to go, or do I have to stand here and watch y'all drool over my little sister?" He asks.
"Yeah, Yeah lets go" Grayson finally snaps out of it.
He grabs my hand and leads me to the Range Rover. Ethan and Christian buckle up the twins in their car seats while me and Grayson sit in the front putting on our seatbelts ready to go.
"Awe look at the baby daddy's" I smile turning around in my seat to look at Christian and Ethan.
"Yeah....... no. As cute as they are, I want my sleep back" Ethan laughs.
"Sleep? What's that?" Christian plays dumb.
I mean he has a point. When you work for the FBI's BAU, you actually get like no sleep. He's always in a different state. And honestly I envy him for that.
"Dude you seriously don't know what sleep is?" Grayson's furrows his eyebrows.
"I swear Grayson I'm going to slap you" I chuckle.
"Whaat?" He puts his hands up.
"Being an agent, I barely get any sleep. So Ethan, trust me, you have it way better" he smiles.
"Woah. Did you just say you're an agent?" Ethan asks impressed.
"Yeah, almost 4 years now" he shows off.
I roll my eyes.
"So what's it like?" Ethan prods.
"Tiring" he shrugs.
"So like, you work with dead bodies and murders and stuff?" Grayson inquires.
"Well I don't work in the morgue so, I don't see many bodies up close but I do see tons of pictures of them. And yes I do come to meet these murders at points but it's not fun. It's my job. It's not the best. But honestly I wouldn't trade it for any other job. I'm just happy I have a stomach that can handle all of the blood and shit I see"
We all stay silent. Just silence for a good 5 minutes. Not one word. Nothing. Just pure silence. No one can bring there selves to say more.
"Are we almost there? I'm starving" I groan.
Grayson grabs my hand and kisses the back of it and my heart flutters at his touch.
"Almost. I promise" he looks over and smiles.
And there goes my life. I'm dead now. Bye. Because holy shit, I fucking love his smile. My heart's no longer beating. His love has officially killed me. I take in a deep breath still holding onto Grayson's hand.
We all get out and give the keys to the valet. I pull down my dress as it stared to ride up my legs. Closing the door I look at the restaurant. Wow. It's so fancy. Not like an Olive Garden fancy but like fancier. Way fancier.
"Spago?" Ethan asks.
"It's one of the fanciest and expensive restaurants in Los Angeles" Grayson smiles looking over at me.
"Grayson this is too much" my eyes brows furrow.
"And if he can't pay for it, I can" Christian rests his hand on my shoulder.
"Oh no, no no no. You've done enough for me already. Plus even if he can't I still have tons of money left from when I left" I shake my head.
"How much money?" Ethan asks curiously.
"Enough to put all of your bank accounts to shame" I laugh.
"I mean anyone can put our bank account to shame considering we have like $4 in it" he busts out laughing.
"A shared bank account between the two of you automatically means no good"
"Hey" Grayson's looks over at me.
"Can we go in already? I'm starving" Christian groans.
"Alright BE lets go in" I walk into the entrance.
The moment we walk in I'm hit with the smell of food. Oh my. It smells so good. My stomach growls.
"This place has a dress code so thank god we all have on suits and look somewhat fancy" Grayson smiles.
"Hey, I'm a model. I'm commonly known out here. But the rest of you are like little puppies in a dogs world" i smirk.
"Psh please CB, as beautiful you are we both know who has the real looks in the family" he gloats.
"Yeah my babies" Grayson buts in.
"You got that right" I wink at him.
"Okay okay, calm down already, gosh y'all's egos are so big" Ethan rolls his eyes obviously annoyed.
"Awe Ethan's just mad because he couldn't find a date on time" I pout.
"Not funny" he keeps a straight face.
"Oh shut up Ethan. Lighten up already" I smile at him.
A young waitress walks over holding a pad and pen, "So what can I get-" she pauses staring at me, "-oh my god you're Ella!" Her eyes widen.
"Yes, I am" I smile.
"Oh my god you're even more beautiful in person than in magazines"
"Awe stop it" I tease.
"No I'm serious, you're like an idol to women all around. You're truly an inspiration!"
"Thank you"
"I could never be a model like you, you're just so beautiful. And your scars. Oh my god. They might just be my favorite part about you. They basically tell your story for you. They say "strong and survivor." And I'm ranting oh my gosh" she stops.
"No, no it's okay. And you're very beautiful you could definitely be a model."
"You know what, I'll give you my agents name and number if you want" I pull out a pen and a napkin and start to write Matt's name and number down.
"Oh no I couldn't possibly ask for that"
"It's honestly no problem. Plus you're very beautiful, I could definitely see Matt accepting you into the agency. I'll call him so he can expect a call from you..."
"Oh, uh. My names Amber"
"Like the gem, I love it. Give him a call, send him head shots and body shots and I know he'll call you in. After all I've known Matt for a long time. There's no way he wouldn't jump at the opportunity to be able to work with you" I smile handing her the napkin.
"Thank you. Thank you so much!"
"So our drinks?" Christian interrupts.
"Oh yes, what can I get you?"
"I'll have an iced tea" Ethan shrugs.
"As will I" Grayson nods.
"Can we get a bottle of Kalleske Pirathon Shiraz Red Wine please" Christian looks over at me.
"Oh yes please, and a glass of water" I add.
"Okay, it'll be out in a minute"
"Wine? Since when do you drink wine?" Grayson asks with his eyebrows furrowed.
"Since forever. I stopped because you don't drink but thank for Christian ordered red wine, I don't think I can go another day without it" I rub my forehead.
"Wait. They don't drink?" Christian asks confused looking at them both.
"Why would we? There's no point to it" Ethan shrugs.
"We prefer to remain sober. You don't need alcohol to have a good time" Grayson adds.
"That's what sober people always say" he rolls his eyes.
I snort.
They look over at me.
"What?" They all say in sync.
"Christian, you're so used to drinking wine because you're an agent. Ethan, Grayson, you don't need to drink to have a good time but drinking won't kill you or ruin your life if you're responsible in the way you drink it" I shake my head at all of them.
They stay silent taking in what I had just said. The waitress soon arrives with our drinks.
"Thank you" I smile.
"So are y'all ready to order?" She pulls out her pad and pen.
"Yes, so I'll have the True A-5 Japanese Wagyu New York Steak" Christian closes the menu and hands it to her.
"Okay"
"I'll have the Half Jidori Chicken" Ethan hands her the menu once she finishes writing it down.
"Alright"
"I'll have the Snake River Farm's American Wagyu New York Steak" Grayson smiles.
"And you?" She looks over at me with a beautiful smile.
"I'll have the Italian White Truffle"
"With Agnolotti ,Tagliatelle, Risotto or Cheese Pizza" she asks still writing it down.
"A cheese pizza" I hand her my menu.
"And can I also get a plate of Chinese Pot Sticker Dumplings?" I add.
"Of course. I'll have it all out for you as soon as possible" she smiles and walks away.
"Dumplings?" Ethan questions.
"I have to feed my kids some way. I'm just happy I missed the months that I had to breast feed. My boobs wouldn't be able to take that" I take a sip of my wine.
Christian nearly spits out his wine.
"Oh my god" he chuckles.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing" he shakes his head smiling.
"Come on, it's not like I would want to breast feed the both of them. What if they bite? That's not something I would like to experience"
"So Grayson is the only who gets to "bite"?" Ethan bursts out laughing.
"Ethan, that's not funny" Grayson looks at him with a straight face.
"I wish I didn't hear that" Christian takes a drink of his wine disgusted by what he just heard.
"I mean Grayson it's not like it's not true" I smile.
"She admits it" Ethan laughs even harder tryin to catch his breath.
"Would you look at that, Christina's awake" Christian reaches over to Christina.
"Pass her to me. I want to hold her"
"Alright" he starts to unbuckle her from her car seat and hands her over to me.
"Oh my beautiful baby" I hold her.
She laughs.
"You're so beautiful. Thank god you for mommy's looks and not daddy's. He's an ugly grump isn't he?" She laughs as I tickle her stomach.
"Um hello, I'm right here" Grayson waves his hand.
"Oh I know" I look at him.
"Hey I take that into offense also considering Grayson and I look the same" Ethan speaks up.
"I know" I say to him also.
They both look at each other as a grin slowly makes its way up my face.
I look back at Christina. My beautiful bouncing baby girl. Oh how she's so perfect. I would never trade her for anything. Not one thing. She's one of few good things that's come from my hell of a life. And I'd never, ever take her for granted. Not once. Not twice. Not ever. I love her too dearly to lose her. I will always fight for her. Even in this hell I call a life. I'll always put her and Christian first. They will forever be my flashlights in the dark. My flashlights.
***
Who's the man in the beginning?
Why did Christina and Christian vow to never talk about their past?
Why hasn't she opened up to Grayson about it yet?
Why does Christina keep referring to her life as "hell"?
What is she hiding that we have yet to discover?
~
~
~
A/N
Ah finally some family bonding between all of them. I have anticipated this moment for like FOREVER! I just hope all of the bonds she's had with all of them will go back to being the way it used to be or at least become a better bond.
School starts in 2 days and I really don't want to go back. Ugh help.