Chp. 65 “Friendly Advice”
I was staring into Avery’s eyes, searching for some type of response, but she wouldn’t give me anything. Her face said it all though, and she was mortified as her eyes switched from me to Taylor who was standing behind me.
I whispered, “Avery please let me explain.”
She turned down the hall, heading away from me as I followed her, forgetting completely about Taylor. My heart felt as if it was about to explode inside my chest, and the more I chased after Avery the more I realized how bad I had fucked up.
I pleaded, “Avery, please!”
She continued down the hall, away from me, as if she was attempting to run from the pain I had wrapped around me. I needed to explain, and I needed to apologize, but she was refusing to respond to me, as if I didn’t exist.
I leaned forward, grabbing her hand and spinning her around, “Avery please listen to me, it’s not-”
“It’s not what, Andy? It’s not what it looks like? Is that what you’re going to tell me?”
Her eyes were blood-shot, and there were tears rimming her eyes as she struggled to keep them from falling down her face. She was broken, I could see it, and I had absolutely no idea how to fix this situation. I could lie to her, I could lie my ass off, but I’m positive that would only result in a more negative way.
She didn’t pull her hand away from me as I continued to hold it, which I took as a good sign, but she was still hurt. I whispered, “Please… it’s not, ok?”
She tilted her head, and this time a tear rolled silently down her face, “You have her lipstick on your neck.”
I felt my heart sink to my stomach, as if I had been stabbed in the heart by her words. They were so broken, and so filled with hate and betrayal, and I knew she was too far gone for me to reach.
I continued to plead, “Avery, I-”
“Save it,” she pulled her hand from mine as she stepped away from me, “I need to be alone.”
I watched as her heart broke in front of me, and she wanted nothing to do with me. I wanted nothing to do with me, simply because I felt completely disgusted with myself for allowing myself to fuck up.
I dropped my hands to my sides as I nodded in defeat, “Ok.”
She turned away from me, disappearing around the corner as I stood there in the empty hallway alone. What had I done? Why the hell did I kiss Taylor? What had possessed me to do that?
I leaned against the cold wall, sinking down to my knees as I tried to stop the aching in my chest that was becoming unbearable. I closed my eyes, attempting to push the sadness far back into my heart as if that would help it somehow disappear. I had completely fucked up and I had no idea how to go about fixing it. I knew Avery needed time away from me, I knew she was hurt, but what if she decided to leave?
Was Taylor really worth that?
I exhaled a heavy breath, realizing I had potentially lost the only thing that has ever loved me for me. I had fucked it up with this woman that I barely knew, someone who had tested my relationship and my faithfulness.
And I had failed Avery.
“Andy, why are you sitting on the ground?” I looked up at Max and I knew he saw the pain written in my expression. He held out his hand for me to take, “Come on.”
I took his hand, allowing him to pull me up from the floor and we began walking. He remained silent but I knew he knew something was up. He hadn’t seen the incident between Avery and I but I knew I would have to tell him.
I followed him into the elevator as he pressed the button that would lead us to the Training room. I just wanted to be alone with him so I could tell him, but I felt as if he already knew what was up.
I finally responded, “I cheated on Avery and she saw.”
Max’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head when he understood what I had revealed, and he shook his head, “Berkley, huh?”
I looked at him in shock as the elevator doors opened up to the familiar training room. He walked out and I followed him, “How did you know?”
He looked at me, giving me a ‘really’ look that made me believe things weren’t as discreet as I had thought. He shook his head again, “I saw the way you two talked and acted around each other. It was obvious, Andy.”
I wanted to scream at my stupidity and how dumb I felt. I raked my hand through my hair in frustration, “Fuck.”
He led me into a room and sat on a bench, looking up at me, “So what are you gonna do?”
I shook my head in confusion, not really knowing how I needed to go about this. I hurt Avery, bad, and I was her first girlfriend, so I probably scarred her really bad. Was it fixable? Or was it already a lost cause because she would never be able to forgive me?
I had fucked up so bad…
I shrugged, sitting next to him, “Max I don’t know…”
He took in a deep breath, leaning back on the bench and looking at me, “Andy, you need to apologize and try to make her forgive you.”
I looked at him in confusion, not really understanding where he was coming from. I questioned, “You don’t even like Avery.”
He smirked slightly, playing with his hands as he leaned forward again, as if searching for words. He shrugged, “It’s not the fact of me liking her or not Andy. You love her, and she makes you so happy, and it’s the same for her. No matter how hot Berkley is… you don’t know her, but you know Avery, and you love her, not Taylor.”
I felt my heart clenching in response, wondering how on earth something this emotional was coming out of Max. I had never once heard him speak of Avery without insulting her even a little bit, but I’ll be damned if he wasn’t sticking up for her now.
I was actually proud of him.
He shrugged, “Look, I’m not gonna tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, because you know that already. You know you fucked up.”
I looked at him in gratefulness, thanking him for not scolding me and being here for me instead. I smiled, “Thanks.”
I stood, looking down at him and wondering if there was some part of Max that actually liked Avery, and I mean more than a tolerance. He cared about her, and no matter how many times he joked and insulted her, I knew the truth.
He had a soft spot for her, somewhere deep, deep, deep down in his heart.
I spoke, “Do you think I should give her some time?”
He followed me, standing up next to me and crossing his arms, “I think so, at least the night. Then, walk in her room and do whatever lesbians do when they have a falling out and need to make up.”
I rolled my eyes, shoving him, “God, we’re just like normal people you know.”
Max looked at me and shrugged, “Maybe you are, but not Avery.”
~ ~ ~ ~
“So Walker, how was the meeting with Andrea?”
I looked at Sullivan who seemed to be a little more on edge since I had pitched the idea to him about faking a kidnap on Andrea to get her into the Defense Department. I knew he agreed we needed to take down Pearce, but the idea I had was risky, but it was the best way to determine elimination.
And if the plan went well, I wouldn’t be screwed and Andrea and Agent Boyd would finally get what they had been trying for.
Assassinating General Pearce once and for all.
I shrugged, leaning back in my chair as I thought over everything that was supposed to happen. I was nervous, yes, but I knew it would work, at least in the sense of getting them into the Defense Department. We had an entire plan, but whether or not we followed it would be determined once they were in fact in the facility.
“It went well, they’re all for it and I know Agent Boyd is going to get the job done. The plan is set, now I just gotta get them into the F.P.S., but I’ll contact Andrea soon. I have to get some things done before then.”
He nodded in response, “They know the risks?”
I answered him with another nod, remembering the tall boy that had begged Andrea to let him go with her. He was naïve, but he had heart, and he wanted to help her, and I knew he was strong. I knew he was in danger stepping into the F.P.S. but that wasn’t my place to tell him no, it was Andrea’s, and she was letting him. The plan also involved the other red-headed girl to go in, along with Agent Berkley and Boyd, but that was all determined by Andrea.
I was just hoping the plan went just as we planned, because if it did no one would get killed except Pearce.
But if the plan went wrong, well, I couldn’t guarantee anything, and Andrea knew that.